“there’s still so much left to do”
“then do it with us”
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“there’s still so much left to do”
“then do it with us”
Sokeefe angst :)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
Keefe Sencen learned how to avoid the shadow-ripple-tracker during Stellarlune. The trick was to never be in the same place at 11:00 PM and 11:01 PM Lost Cities time.
Keefe doesn't know how not to run away, especially once he's already made the decision. But he doesn't want to run from Sophie anymore—at least, not for this one day.
He doesn't know if he can promise her the one thing she wants to hear.
Tag list beneath the cut
Sophie 'will I ever stop being concerned for you' Foster
Take a photo,
It'll last longer.
I actually finished something.
version where Keefe agrees to stay in Jolies old room after Edaline offers. His eyes get misty when Sophie and her mom walk him in and help him get settled. He cries a little when they leave to let him change and get comfortable. He comes out in these human pajama pants and a black t-shirt and Sophie decides to focus on that and not his slightly red and puffy eyes.
They sit in the couch and Edaline brings them something sweet and a few more bottles of youth. Grady watches from the kitchen with soft, sad eyes.
He thanks her parents and apologizes for all the trouble he’s causing and they wave it away. They say things about how it’s not a problem and that they’re just happy he’s safe and back. He gets a little misty eyed again. After food and only slightly awkward silence, Grady mentions that they should definitely try to sleep. It’s late, and it’ll be easier to talk after some rest.
They go upstairs together and Sophie pushes past her anxiety and grabs his hand as they walk. Neither of them say anything, but he hugs her at the top of the stairs.
She wonders if it’s her awareness of his feelings for her, or if it’s her mutual ones, but she can’t find it in herself to be mad at him. Not when his face is buried in between her neck and shoulder, not when he holds her like he’s trying to make up for everything that happened, not when he stands in front of her looking like a boy. It hits her again that he’s not much older than her, and he’s still incredibly young be elven standards.
She’s sure she’ll be mad again in the morning, or even later tonight, but for now this quite comfort works. She is beyond relieved he’s home with her.
She walks with him to his room. She stands beside him as he gets in the bed and she flicks of the lights for him when she goes to leave.
He calls her. Asks her to stay. She immediately agrees.
She runs downstairs to tell her parents, her dad looks like he’s about to start a very uncomfortable lecture, but her mom cuts in after meeting her eyes and tells her she thinks it’s a great idea.
She runs back to her room to grab some pillows, Ella, and another blanket.
Keefe watches her walk into the room. He’s still laying where she left him, it makes her slightly less worried. His eyes are big, almost childish, and again she can’t help but think he’s just a boy. And he doesn’t deserve to feel like this. She’s mad, but not at him.
He stops her from setting up a spot on the floor near the bed. She’s confused. They fuss about it for a minute before he pulls back the blanket and just says, “please”.
She caves and brings herself to lie down next to him. He’s close, they can feel the heat off each other, and for the first time she’s glad he can’t sense her emotions as much.
They stay like that for a while, on their backs with their respected stuffed animals in their arms. It’s dark, her parents have gone to bed, and they’re both ignoring the quite sniffles coming from both sides of the bed.
After what seems like forever he rolls over to look at her. She turns her head to meet his eyes. “Turn that way” she says, and he does what she asks without question.
Carefully she turns toward his back. She’s anxious again, but confident that this is something they need. She places Ella behind her back and tentatively wraps her arms around Keefes waist.
He tenses for a bit, then let’s out a quite sob. He shakes in her hold for a while, but he never lets go of the grip on her hands.
When he does calm down, he brings their intertwined fingers up, and he presses the back of her hand to his face.
She can’t really call it a kiss, per say, but his skin is warm and his lips are definitely against her skin. She buries her face in his back, and their legs tangle below the fluffy comforter.
They sleep, after days of nightmares and restlessness, they sleep. It’s long, it’s not enough, but it’s peaceful because neither one of them dreams.
The next day will be hard, it’ll be full of hurt and tears and words that are going to sting, but right now, right now and everything that will happen after, it makes it all worth it.
Too much.
It was too much. Too much, too much, too much.
Keefe battled himself as he looked away from the familiar gold-flecked eyes, the eyes that had stayed with him since the first day he saw them. He couldn’t let himself fall apart here, couldn’t let himself fall apart now, couldn’t let himself fall apart when he had held himself together for so long. He couldn’t be someone that Sophie had to care about, couldn’t be the one responsible for the overwhelming waves of worry and sympathy and something soft and warm that he refused to let his mind translate.
And yet.
His walls were crashing down, crashing crashing crashing like the walls of Ravagog, crashing under a flood and all that showed for it were a few tears that he wouldn’t let spill. And he tried so hard to keep the mask from shattering, but this was new territory, and he would never understand why she had to make it so easy, had to make it so possible for him to let himself show through the façade.
And so when Sophie finally lifted a leather-gloved hand up and cupped his jaw, when she brushed a rebellious tear from his cheek with her thumb, when she whispered, “Keefe,” with a catch in her voice, when she forced him to meet her gaze that held a million different pleas in it, when he looked into those eyes that said you’re safe here, said you can trust me, said it’s okay, he fell apart.
A sob broke through his chest as the weight of all the masks he wore dropped. And then Sophie was pulling him in and his chest was heaving unevenly as he wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him even tighter, as she saw him, all of him, for the first time, and he knew that she would hate him as soon as he let her leave, because nobody had ever seen him and still loved him, but for now he let himself shatter as he heard the sound of her repeating a single phrase into his ear over and over: I’m here.
He felt it in the way Sophie gently slid both of them to the floor so he could sit, felt it in the way she kept one hand wrapped around the back of his head, soothingly running her fingers through his hair, felt it in the way she clung to him like she needed him just as much as he needed her, as if he weren’t the moon orbiting his earth anymore but they were both planets orbiting each other, inevitably set for a collision course but not caring anymore. He felt it in the way she whispered I’m here over and over as if she knew that she was the only thing keeping him from running away from it all. He felt it. He felt that she knew.
And he didn’t know what terrified him more: the fact that she saw him, or the fact that he wasn’t as scared of that as he should have been.
And of course Sophie had to prove how terrified he should be, prove how well she could read him by pulling away by inches to make him look at her and lie to him, “Keefe, listen to me. Do you hear me? I could never hate you.”
His lips twisted into the shadowed hint of an ironic smile. He wished he could believe her, because oh, wouldn’t it be strange to imagine someone seeing him and staying not in spite of him, but because of him. But everyone left every time they saw him, and of course she wouldn’t be the exception.
Too much.
It was too much, too much, too much, and he had just destroyed it all, sent it all crashing to the ground, made the same mistake he had been trying to run from for years, and it was so terrifying but he couldn’t make himself care anymore.
alright LISTEn. i am a die hard sokeefe shipper but i’m also a harbinger of angst so. here we go
you’re not sorry (taylor’s version) = post unlocked sokeefe (sophie’s pov)
“ all this time i was wasting / hoping you would come around / i’ve been giving out chances every time / and all you do is let me down ”
“ and it's taking me this long / baby but I figured you out / and you're thinking we'll be fine again / but not this time around ”
“ looking so innocent i might believe you if I didn't know / could've loved you all my life If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold ”
“ and you got your share of secrets / and I'm tired of being last to know / and now you're asking me to listen cause it's worked each time before ”
“ this is the last straw, there's nothing left to beg for / and you can tell me that you're sorry / but I don't believe you baby / like I did before ”
*bows* *runs off sobbing*
Something something "I look in people's windows" from ttpd something something keefe looking for traces of sophie in the human world something something something desperately searching for anything familiar something