#solangelo shitpost

[nicostolemybones]

Can't argue with that logic

Apollo: Will, you're not allowed to seduce patients it says in the oath you swore to the gods, what do you have to say for yourself

Will: He's pretty

Apollo:

Apollo:

Apollo:... nice!

[slumbering-lore]

When Nico and Will are making out, the shadows lengthen and the sun shines brighter. It's not because of their power, but because Hades and Apollo are spying on them™

[nicostolemybones]

Healthy Eating??

Camper: Hey doc, how do I eat healthy?

Will, sweating: Well there is the lettuce-

Nico: I added a trap to my cookie jar so you can't remove your hand and I've seen Will get his hand stuck in it ten times this week. He's never heard of healthy eating. You'd think as a doctor he'd lecture everyone on healthy eating but no. He once prescribed cookies as medicine. There's nothing wrong with junk food but Will has never heard of moderation or stopping when he's full and feels sick. We have this issue every time he raids the sweets cabinet in the infirmary. He never learns.

Will:

Will:...

Will: Salad sucks.

[nicostolemybones]

Apollo archer, teaching class: Fire at Will!

Nico: *shoots at Will Solace*

Will: u little bitch

Nico: *smug cat face :3*

[nicostolemybones]

Who Let This Child In The Infirmary

Will, explaining an asthma attack: You're in the infirmary. Your lungs made a serious fucky-wucky and stopped doing the drinking sky sauce thingy so your brain went nope for a few seconds but the feel better juice is thicc and juicy and moist and will reverse the fucky-wucky

Every camper, simultaneously scared and concerned: who let this child into the infirmary

Camper high on gas and air: hell yeah gimme the sky sauce

Nico: security? Yes I don't know this man I don't think he works here

Will: bitch

Nico: please escort him off the premises I've never seen him here before in my life

[nicostolemybones]

Friend!!!

Will, to a demigod: Friend!!

Will, to a mortal: Friend!!

Will, to a kitten: Friend!!

Will, to a puppy: Friend!!

Will, to a bug: Friend!!

Will, to a leaf: Friend!!

Nico: You can't just call anything that moves a friend, Will.

Will, making direct eye contact: Boyfriend.

Nico, about to have a heart attack and catching feelings: *verbal keysmash* fuck-

[nicostolemybones]

1000 miles

Will, marching through the city: AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES THEN I WOULD WALK 500 MORE JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKED A THOUSAND MILES TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR

Nico, in his cabin: YOU WERE IN THE INFIRMARY WHY DIDN'T YOU COME STRAIGHT HERE TO FALL DOWN AT MY DOOR YOU HEATHEN I'D HAVE TRIPPED YOU UP!

[nicostolemybones]

Can you cook??

Will: Well, actually-

Percy: I once caught him trying to make spaghetti for Nico and the pasta- I shit you not- was literally on fire, whilst in water, in a frying pan- a plastic toy frying pan- that was melting over the hob. And that's why the kitchens at camp were closed that once.

Will:

Will:...

Will: Bitch.

Nico: *concerned, emerging from the shadows* please never do anything again ever without adult supervision