Solavellan Week 2025 - 8 Years
A letter, discovered in the pocket of Dorian Pavus after he learned of the departure of his dear friend, Inquisitor Lavellan, from Thedas. He has no memory of how the letter found its way there.
Dorian,
I know this would have been better served over a glass of your best brandy, talking into the night as we so often did. But as I watch the others speak in hushed tones, I feel I must leave you with something now rather than later. Forgive my cowardice in not saying this to your face - you’d only argue me down. And the truth is, I am so very tired, and I need every measure of strength for what’s to come.
When I listened as they spoke of binding Solas to the Veil, my heart ached. I know too well the torment that binding to the Veil brings, and I would not wish that fate on him. Yet, regrettably, I also know there can be no other way - lest the world collapse into chaos.
And though in my deepest heart I long to see my people restored, and the spirits I’ve come to love free, when I think of you, of Cassandra, of all those who became my family, fear seizes me. I lost my clan once through my own decisions - I can't bear to repeat that history. All I want now is to see you alive, safe.
I hope you understand why I can't force this fate on Solas, and why I fought for another way. If binding him is the only path to a world where those I love survive - including him - then all that remains to me is to fight for one thing: his choice. Eight years ago, in the Crossroads I made a vow - I keep to that vow still.
So I place my trust in our plan. I trust Morrigan. And if Varric could trust Rook, then I must as well. Varric never stopped believing, and he wouldn't want this to end in blood. He held onto hope - however fragile - that he might save a friend at least once. In holding to that same hope, I honour him too.
But the reason I write to you now is because I believe I know how this ends. He once told me, in another world, and I didn't realize then how true his words were. So this is what you must know: the choice I make to go with him is one I make with a sound mind, a clear heart, and open eyes.
I know his heart, Dorian - I believe in him. Call me foolish, as you’ve so often done; I’ve cursed my own heart enough times myself. But the truth I can't deny is that I still love him. And if there is a path where he lives, where Thedas might heal from the pain and grief it was born into, and where my own heart might find healing too - well, can you truly blame a foolish woman for taking that chance?
I walk the din’anshiral, and while you may not fully understand what that means, I have felt my story here drawing to its end for some time - though never certain in what form it would come. So while Cassandra and Josephine do not know what I’ve chosen, they each carry letters I’ve written, and my affairs are in capable hands. I have also kept a journal these past years, so that when the time comes, you will all know my heart. Josephine will see that each of you - every one who stood beside me and became my clan - has a chance to read it.
The din’anshiral has taken much from me, but it has also given me clarity. For all the pain Solas has caused, for every betrayal, I understand why. He has carried grief for longer than any soul should, and I can't leave him to endure that solitude again. And if you look for something to hold onto in all this, remember that he is the reason we met, the reason our bonds were forged. Without him, there would have been no us. For that, I will always be grateful.
In time, when you have forgiven me my choice, Morrigan will share with you what she knows of Solas. But only at your request, and only when you are ready. And do not be surprised if you see Cole from time to time - I have asked him to watch over you.
Please do not mistake this for surrender, my dear friend. We both still have work ahead of us - just in different worlds. Live long enough to reform Minrathous. Live well enough to survive insufferable people and complain about them endlessly.
So keep the sending crystal where you keep the good brandy. If it hums, pour two glasses and speak as you always did with me. I might just be listening.
Always yours, in this world and the next,
Saethre
