As much as I love this lifestyle – and I do love this lifestyle – things are different for me than when I started down this path. The whole rush of “What, I’m really allowed to do this? Kowabunga!!” has receded to some extend and, while it’s not far to say it’s become quite routine, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that to some extent the wonder of the crazy sexual escapades has faded a bit. It has become part of the fabric of life to an extent.
Which is why I am particularly excited to meet people – and it can be men as well as women – who are just embarking on their journeys, and am privileged when I get to play a small role in them. It gives me the opportunity to experience the excitement again, through their eyes.
One of my latest, and most fun, examples is my friend Calliope. You will recall her from the Finally Cracked Chicago story, which told the lead-up of how we met and our first couple of dates there. We’ve seen each other several times since, and in fact as I was originally typing this I was en route to Chicago where I saw her again – hyper aware of the guy sitting next to me and wondering if he’s really asleep or he’s a great actor enjoying the voyeuristic read over my shoulder…
Calliope is intelligent, poised, and confident. All high on my list of an attractive partner. She was also a late bloomer sexually, and while she and former boyfriends had dabbled once or twice in group sex, she hadn’t done anything like that in a good six or seven years prior to meeting me.
But when we connected, the floodgates opened, and (as Calliope told me) she was reminded of how much she had enjoyed those group sex experiences. How hot she finds it. How much she started craving it now. And with her societal shackles of “shoulds” falling away, I enjoyed watching (and encouraging) her as she started to branch out again as a sexual being.
Luckily for me, she didn’t (yet) have a partner in crime. Someone she could bounce ideas and plans off of. And someone who could help her achieve her goals. (Lol, that certainly changed soon enough!)
After I returned to the Bay Area, we started texting at a prodigious clip. And while a face-saving amount of banter covered work, kids, and daily activities, the lion’s share of our energy was devoted to planning, speculating, and fantasizing over sexual adventures – jointly and separately.
She went on a mission to find sex clubs and parties in the Chicago area (and she found some!). She set up profiles on sex-oriented sites and has been killing it there. She models new sexy attire for me. We encourage each other, bounce dating strategies off each other, and share thoughts on new friends and conquests. And I was fortunate enough to be part of her first MMF threesome, along with our lovely friend Kay (who found me on Reddit by the way...).
Calliope is planning a trip to the Bay Area in February for work, and she’s tacking on a weekend to play. She has always wanted to host a dinner and sex party, so that’s what we’re going to do. She’s providing the Airbnb and arranging the menu. I’m providing four other guests. And our playlist is a true collaboration. (We have many options, ranging from sexy jazz to 60′s Mad Men dinner party, 80′s rock, Motown, and Bob Moses).
Most recently, Calliope has outdone herself, remotely (from Chicago, mind) introducing me to a lovely new couple here in the Bay Area, Tony and Michelle. Whether Tony found Calliope’s profile or the other way around neither party recalls, but I’m not complaining. I’ve already been on a date with Tony and Michelle (more details in a forthcoming entry), and they are proving to be a fabulous addition to the mix.
Calliope was born in Greece, and likes to tell me she’s guided by a Greek concept known as philoxenia, which translates to “love of the stranger.” It’s a desire to be a good host, to entertain others and make them feel at home. It is born of the great tradition in Greek culture to honor and bestow respect from host to guest.
Calliope has been an amazing host, but even more special is how much she’s been an inspiration. Every time I’m with her, or interact with her, I’m reminded all over again just how much fun this whole sexual journey is. That’s been such a magical gift, and one for which I’m incredibly grateful.
It’s so easy to become jaded. It’s much more difficult to find a muse who can keep you from becoming jaded.
And I’ve been lucky to find one. Calliope, my Greek muse.
