#some musing

[songofheart]

[zeus-favorite-child]

i just realized an irony of situation for Azula. Day of Black Sun was supposed to be her weakest time (since she don't have her bending) yet she slay so hard that episode. Then comes Sozin Comet, a time where she's supposed to be in her peak (as a firebender) but she's in her lowest that time because of betrayals and harsh truth that her father was just using her as a war machine.

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Knowing

I debated posting this, I wrote it at the arsecrack of dawn but it seems to have broken my block, for now anyway and I started a new WIP 🤣 yeah I know I see all my other ones crowding behind me, glaring.

Anyway this is just a quick Poe Dameron x Reader one shot.

Warnings: mention of war, death, loss and grief.

‘That is the most outrageous, nerfherder brained idea I’ve ever heard!’ You threw your hands up as you glared at the smug faced pilot across the table from you. The holomap distorted his features but he was definitely being a smug arsehole. Karabast you hated him! Strutting around here, the Poster Boy of the Resistance. This man got away with everything, he eased himself out of every scrape like it was nothing.

‘Captain….’

‘Utterly ridiculous thinking you can just fly out there undetected….’ You stupid son of a…...

‘Captain….’

‘You may think you're the best pilot in the fleet but one day your recklessness is going to get you killed!’

‘CAPTAIN!’ Leia Organa’s commanding voice finally cut through your yelling and you lowered your gaze. Everyone in the command centre was staring at you after your sudden outburst, no one expected it from you, you never went against your Squadron Leader. You never raised your voice to anyone, not even people you hated, like Poe Dameron. But today was different, you weren’t sure why, maybe you’d had enough of worrying about him getting killed. Maybe the war had finally taken so many people from you that you couldn’t bear the thought of losing anymore. Even though you hated him.

‘I suggest you take a walk.’

‘Yes ma’am.’ You shot one last look at Poe before skulking away and finding somewhere to stew in private. With a sigh you threw yourself onto your bunk and not for the first time you caught yourself wishing you’d never been caught up in this stupid war. It was wearing you down, ripping your soul with every loss. Soon, there would be nothing left of you or any of the fleet for that matter the First Order was tearing you apart time and time again. The ships needed repairs, the fleet needed fuel, food supplies were low and Resistance members were flagging, your outburst wouldn't have helped. People looked up to you, you were their Captain, they needed your courage and strength…..but you were so tired. So tired of carrying all that weight around with you. You wiped your face and realised it was wet, you hiccuped a soft sob at the sight. You never cried, this was new. The door to your room slid open but you ignored it as you faced the wall hoping Jess would eventually leave you alone.

‘You know, as your Squadron Leader I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that.’

‘Piss off Dameron.’

‘Seriously, Leia sent me here to give you a talking to because that was very out of character for you….’

‘I said. Piss. Off. Dameron.’ You couldn’t control the waver in your voice as you grit your teeth hoping he would get the message. The mattress dipped by your feet and you rolled your eyes wishing he would just fuck off.

‘I heard that eye roll from here Captain.’

‘Well Commander you know where you can shove it.’

‘Whoa whoa, I don’t understand what’s happening here? Why has my best and most trustworthy Captain suddenly become possessed?’ You closed your eyes, the tide of emotion threatening to overwhelm you and you wished again that he would go away. Of all the people on the base you did not want to fall apart in front of pretty boy Poe Dameron. You flinched slightly as he placed a hand on your side. ‘It’s taking it out of all of us.’ The weariness in his tone took you by surprise and you risked turning over to look at him. The hollow expression on his face shocked you the most, all his barriers were down and for the first time ever you saw the toll this war was taking on him too. ‘I don’t know how much more we can take, but we have to keep fighting. We have to keep going. We are down to the bare bones of the Resistance, now more than ever we should not give up.’

‘How do you do it?’ His brown eyes locked with yours his hand tensing on your side.

‘Keep going?’

‘Because you never seem like you're suffering.’ He laughed loudly, shaking his head.

‘Is that really how it comes across? Like I’m not suffering?’ You nod, your eyes wide as you sit up slowly. ‘Ok. Shall I tell you a secret?’ The tone in his voice made you think he was going to tell you anyway. ‘I do suffer, every single minute of every single day I suffer. I have lost family, friends, I have the deaths of so many people on my hands. They may be on the ‘other side’ but they are still people! Every mistake, every press of that button I make costs a life.’ He paused and you knew he was referring to the battle above D’Qar. His recklessness had cost the fleet dearly but had also won them a great victory. You and everyone in your Squadron had been behind him that day. You stared at the man sitting on your bunk, his tense shoulders and sad eyes, this was not the Poe Dameron that strutted round the base chatting up people and spreading general cheer everywhere he went. This man was broken, just like you. ‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered. ‘I had no idea…’. ‘No one does. It’s like my super power, aside from flying of course.’ The ghost of a grin pulled at the corner of his mouth and you nudged him gently with a boot. ‘I give you a run for your credits.’ He snorted softly as he pulled his fingers through his dark curls. ‘Don’t tell anyone else.’ He mumbled. You went to nudge him again but he batted your foot away before getting up out of your reach. You stood up and wiped your face rubbing the tears off until he grabbed your hand, his finger lacing with yours.

‘Don’t ever be ashamed of feeling. It’s what makes us who we are.’ Your gaze rose to meet his and your breath hitched slightly as you realised there was a fine line between love and hate. His brown eyes gazed at you as his knuckles gently rubbed your cheek before he stepped away and opened your door with a mock bow. ‘After you my Captain.’ You did a silly curtsy in return and took his outstretched hand, he grabbed you and spun you out the door. A laugh erupted from you as Poe grinned that mischievous smile whenever he was lifting someone else’s spirits. A little breathless and a little giddy from your sudden change in emotion you looked at him wishing with all your heart things were different. He placed an arm around your shoulders and you easily fell into step with him. Your eyes met again as you reached the hangar and you felt like you wanted to tell him, you needed to explain why you had got so emotional earlier. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. He pulled you to him in a rough one armed embrace and planted a swift kiss on your forehead. ‘I know.’ He said gruffly before releasing you and heading to his X-wing.

He knew.

You knew.

And that had to be enough.

[cloud-kitties]

Oh to have a little fluffy ears and tail

Maybe some little beans, paw beans I means

[cloud-kitties]

Been needing money a bit and ngl id normally be scared of doing commissions but at this point I’m more than a little open to it.

It’s hard though, like I want to make a commission ref sheet but no matter how I look at my stuff I can’t really properly categorize or price it

Even had a friend help but once I get to making the sheet for commission ref I just hit a mental barrier

[catdogmagazine]

I have a friend who really loves Yuta but she's mostly into him with like Komaru and stuff. I think this is the cuter ship.

Komaru and Yuta is like cute but very... plain to me, possibly because both characters just seem like they wouldn't bring much to the table as a pairing? They'd probably be a pretty standard couple and it might be fine for them but where is the flavor!!!!!

The only thing I can think of as fun with those two is if it became kind of a freaky cuck thing like idk for instance if Komaru started dating Yuta because she thought she should get a boyfriend but she just isn't really feeling it and isn't sure why but then she catches her brother Makoto coming onto him and watches them and finds out that she gets something from that- which for me would also tie in some form of the naegis being a suspicious thing too which I like lol. Also a big fan of tboy Yuta which can potentially make that spicy in other ways but we don't need to go into that right now lmao

BUT YEAH with Aoi and Yuta I'd love to see like her doting on him and trying to teach him as if she's more knowledgeable about that kind of thing (which maybe she is!) but like under the thought that it's to help him do better in the future tho maybe that sparks feelings and she doesn't wanna give him up so easily either .........

[trufflesmushroom]

Oh my god, digging through my mom’s garage for supplies had me stumbling across some ANCIENT baby!Truffs era toys... The nostalgia had me nearly in pieces.

Old costume jewelry, little Pokemon figures, some Polly Pockets, a rubber robot wolf half the size of my pinkie, stupid little trinkets I adored to hell and back. Most of them have been played with to death and worn down by age and haphazard storage, but I still recognize all of them and it’s weird, but they seem too precious to throw away or even just disturb too much. I moved around a lot as a kid because of financial and family matters, and with each move I had to whittle down my load of belongings and keep only what I truly couldn’t part with. My Barbies had to go, and my mother threw away my Legos and Playmobil. I gave away my Sailor Moon dolls. What’s left is about three cardboard boxes of my most beloved toys. Everything else of mine in storage is old art, art supplies or a small mountain of books. I never had new clothes or nice pretty things growing up, but I always had books.

Felt weird being faced with my very old history like that. Tiny little green plastic aliens from capsule machines, a disposable miniature skateboard from a Korean Cheetos bag, a necklace a friend gave me the day I came back to California and lost touch with her forever. My beloved tiger pencil case from middle school, with the earrings I pierced into her ears still dangling there. My favorite Kelly doll, the one with the twist braid and pink kitty dress. A little glass game piece my cousin gave me when I was a toddler. A beaded poodle my grandmother ripped apart in a fit of rage, still in pieces inside a tiny box. Every toy has a story.

I even found my first My Little Pony. I was musing about her the other day, and I’m shocked that she was still in my possession, but I found her, and guess what??

She wasn’t even a real, full-size Pony. She was a McDonalds Happy Meal toy. And I still loved her with my whole entire heart just the same.

I guess kids really don’t care about that sort of thing. Looking back, there’s no way my mother (w/c)ould have bought me a real My Little Pony at that age. The Kelly doll took weeks of begging. But I still had my stupid little half-sized G2 Light Heart with a molded, painted mane and I still loved her to bits. I still love her now, even if her tail’s tangled beyond repair and she’s badly stained all over. Me and Light Heart go way back.

I wasn’t able to go through the other boxes, so I have yet to discover my stuffed animals. I’m actually a little afraid to open that box. What if they’re in terrible condition and my heart gets broke?? I may not be ready for that. I mean, it’ll have to happen eventually. I’ll have to sort out my boxes of junk instead of leaving them in my mother’s garage forever. But I’m definitely not ready. Those stuffed animals are almost sacred. If I find them moth-eaten or something, I’ll definitely cry.

Next time I’m here, I’m going to work up the courage to find my BJD and my animu toys. I was really into figures and dolls when I was a teenager, and I saved up for months to buy my BJD, but... well, bad history. Ancient history by now, but still. Ouch. In any case, I was forced to hide him in storage or risk him being destroyed or thrown away, so he’s still in there along with my high school Figmas and Nendoroids. He’s absolutely going be in bad shape, since he’s eight years old and he’s been hiding in a box between cushions for most of that time, but that’s okay. I’m an adult now and I can protect my belongings better. He’ll probably be happier to be outside and fixed up a little.

I was a latchkey kid growing up, and since I was allowed very few personal possessions besides books and supplies, I really treasured my toys. I guess that’s where the whole #galatea thing comes from, if we’re being Freudian about it. Those toys were my first ever vehicles for storytelling, and they probably inform a lot of my preferences even now. That Kelly doll was my intrepid protagonist, that blue glass game piece was the all-powerful crystal Macguffin. Broken hair clips were the alien wildlife. A seashell that @karmindy gave me when we were in kindergarten was some sort of witch’s scrying tool. Bed was a rolled-up sock and a glasses cleaning cloth. A disposable swizzle stick was a magical sword.

I’m gonna take Light Heart back with me and I’m gonna try and fix her up. I hear acne cream or butter can take stains out of plastic and vinyl, so I’ll try that. Even if it doesn’t work, she deserves to hang out with me like two decades after we met. She’s just a Happy Meal toy but she’s worth so much more than that to me. She’s beat up to all hell, a little melty, a little tangled and covered in gunk and honestly not very pretty anymore, but she’s mine.

Toys, man. They’re important and powerful.

[divineprotector]

[Some FE14 spoilers under the cut. Mostly Revelation.]

I said some of this over on @prelasserdanslabeaute but there’s a multitude of First Dragons. I think the Rainbow Sage said there were twelve of them (one of which he himself is).

Anankos the Silent Dragon, the Dawn and Dusk Dragons are a few more native to that universe. I believe Naga, the Divine Dragon, and Grima, the Fell Dragon are as well, which brings our total up to six.

Recall that Naga was one of the first advocates for dragons sealing their dragon selves into stones to preserve their sanity. While some dragons did, many refused, and those that did became mad, and in their madness waged battle against humans (like Medeus and Grima’s first assault).

Grima and Anankos are both described as having a ‘heart’ that split away from them in their madness. In Grima’s case, this heart was likely one of Robin’s ancestors, and the Grimleal bred a bloodline to restore that heart, culminating in Robin’s birth. Robin would be used in the Awakening ritual to restore Grima.

As for Anankos’, his heart bore Corrin with Mikoto. The heart seems to be a sort of living keystone to the dragon’s power. They bear the power and are involved in both restoring it (through an Awakening) and defeating them (only Robin can truly kill Grima). Now, I haven’t finished Revelation, but if Corrin is the child of Anankos’ heart, then the same may be true for them.

As for the dragons who embraced their sanity (Naga and presumably the Dawn and Dusk Dragons, for example), they function as deities somewhat. And all First Dragons seem to have given their chosen blood to a certain group of humans. Naga’s resides in the Exalted family of Ylisse, for example.