i do believe with my whole heart that the two biggest points of miscommunication in episode six (Ilya asking Shane whether he was out to his parents and the I could marry Svetlana scene) were actually them being so brave and convincing themselves that if they couldn't have each other for real, that they would make sure the other had a soft place to land instead
Like okay. the conversation about Shane coming out to his parents. Ilya is like
"I know this version of you that is so beautiful and free and no one else has ever known him. You are so terrified of giving yourself away that you hide these wonderful parts of your soul and you deserve for someone else to know you like that. You deserve the freedom of your parents knowing who you are. If I can't have you (and how can I have you when it's so impossible) then I at least want you to be Known by someone else so they can love you like I do"
And when Ilya talks about marrying Svetlana, Shane is like
"You are a man made to love and be loved, if you must have someone that isn't me it should be someone you really truly love. Don't marry Svetlana if you don't love her so much your soul is crushed by the weight of it. If it can't be me (if I am a problem) then I can go away. I can make that problem go away. So you can be loved like you deserve. Everything we do is so impossible but I need you to be so happy so I will go away and you can marry a woman you love so, so much"
They're so in love that all they can think about is how to make each other feel loved and known, even when they think there's no way they can be together for real. All they want is that the other is happy.
