If you’re wondering who this is, think back to a little hotel full of pagans and someone you stabbed. I happen to be that someone.
It wasn’t a clever trick that saved my life. I died, plain and simple. Dad couldn’t tell my grace from the pagans’ souls or essences or whatever, since I was so tainted from ‘slumming it’ as you put it. I went to Purgatory, then to Hell, then I dragged myself out by the tips of my fingers. And now I’m dying in a hospital—stabbed, ironically, near Muncie, Indiana, where you stabbed me.
My grace is gone. So I have to write. Weirdly enough, you’re the first one I thought of to write to. Everyone else I might have cared about is dead. I think you’re in the cage, but I sent it to your substitute vessel’s address anyways. In case the idiot Winsisters failed at doing what I told them to.
And I’m not apologizing for telling them about the rings.
Anyways. I’m trying to channel good thoughts right now. Heaven, when we were kids. You taught me how to fly, remember? The most anyone else would do was throw me in the air and see how far away I fell, then tell me I was too small to be a proper angel. You at least had patience with me, enough to teach me what I needed to know.
Our lot is a bad one, in general. We either kill each other or stay in banishment in our little alcoves. Michael trying to control everything like humans are little tin soldiers, you stuck in the Cage, me wandering around on Earth fucking with people. Our lives really suck.
I wish Father would come back. As I’m currently dying, I doubt it will happen in my lifetime. I don’t think you deserve the torture you were cursed to, since all you did was love Father too much. Of course, you raised an army in Heaven and tried to overthrow Heaven, from what I’ve heard, but I think you were right in standing up to Father. The exertion of free will wasn’t your problem. It was what you chose to do with it that made enemies.
I still love you, brother. No matter your faults. I do not forgive you for the hotel, because you killed what had become my family when I came to Earth. But I have never stopped loving you, because you are my family.
I hope you can forgive me.