#source: helluva boss

[alien-slushie]

Sam: Danny! That clingy rich asshole is on the phone! Wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y.

Danny: Oh my Ancients, it was one time! If I hadn't seduced that privileged asshole we never would have gotten access to the private servers!

Tucker: ...you what?

[ktkat99]

Batman, dividing everyone up for patrol- Jason, you're with Steph, Damian, you're coming with me, Dick, you're with Cass. Tim, are you fine going solo?

Tim- Yup

Jason- Oh, come on! Why does he get to go solo?

Batman- Your brother gets to go solo because he doesn't have a kill count.

Jason- Oh, he SO does

Tim, whispering- It doesn't count if he doesn't find the bodies

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Karai: I think my dad is a giant piece of shit. Shinigami: We’ve always known he was a giant piece of shit.

[i-miss-clouds-i-miss-byler]

Them talking about Armand:

[mcchill-16]

*doing taxes*

Mira: “You uh… forgot to carry the two there.”

The pilot: “…” *douses himself with gasoline, and sets himself on fire*

Mira: *quickly extinguishes him before wrapping him in a blanket like a burrito, and carrying him to the couch*

[lovelyroseghost]

Everyone is talking about BunnyDoll while I worry about Ragatha and Gangle’s relationship after the events of the episode 4😥

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Y/N: I can't believe I'm stuck here with psycho and a piece of shit!

Wade: Okay... am I the psycho or the piece of shit?

Y/N: Both!

Wade: Yeah, that checks.

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Xie Lian, in the Spiritual Communication Array: So I appear to have been kidnapped by a calamity…

Mu Qing: Which one?

Feng Xin: How many calamities do you know??

Feng Xin: What does he look like, your highness.

Xie Lian: *Staring at Hua Cheng’s abs*

Xie Lian: Mmmm...sexy?

Mu Qing and Feng Xin: THATS CRIMSON RAIN!!!