Jun 18, 2023
Natasha Romanoff: “I guess you could say I used to be psycho.”
Bruce Banner: “USED to be?”
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Natasha Romanoff: “I guess you could say I used to be psycho.”
Bruce Banner: “USED to be?”
Natasha Romanoff: “You're going to bed? It's only 7:30.”
Bruce Banner: “Your family drains me incomparably.”
Natasha: *holding her dog’s face* “You might as well have been a child. We adopted you because we thought dogs were simple. You are not. Maybe you’re less expensive.”
Bruce Banner: *from the other room* “That’s a maybe.”
Bruce Banner: *working* *ready to blow up* “…I don’t like swearing so I need you to swear for me.”
Natasha Romanoff: “SHIT!”
Bruce *finds Natasha in the closet*: “Are you good? Why are you eating ice cream in the closet?”
Natasha: “Because it’s dark and quiet and nobody bothers me here.”
Bruce: *confused* “O-Okay.”
Natasha: “Close the door.”
Bruce: “I got you. I’m leaving, I saw nothing-.”
Natasha: “-No. Come in here first, and then close the door.”
Bruce Banner: “Have you met yourself?!”
Natasha Romanoff: “Luckily I haven’t. We would not get along.”
Natasha: “What the hell are you bringing into the house?!”
Bruce *lifting a huge 5lb bag*: “Cilantro.”
Natasha: “Why?!”
Bruce: “I don’t know. Some lady was flagging me down and said ‘hey, do you cook with cilantro’ so I said ‘yes’, obviously-.”
Natasha: “-obviously.”
Bruce: “And so she called me over-.”
Natasha: “So you walked up to a stranger’s car.”
Bruce: “She had a truck full of cilantro, so she gave me a bag.”
Natasha: “Lucky you. Was she flirty?”
Bruce: “No! No. She called over the other neighbor as I was walking away.”
Natasha: “…are you sure that’s cilantro?”
Bruce: “Positive. She was so nice.”
Natasha: “…Was she? How high are the chances you just brought a bag full of pot into the house?”
Bruce: “Um. Now that you mention it…they’re very high…Pun intended.”
Natasha: “I thought you said the ghost pepper sauce would have a kick? I haven’t been kicked.”
Bruce: “I give up. Either you burned your tastebuds off, or you’re a zombie.”