#misquotes

[muchcelebrated]

Dodgerfox all of season 2:

Jack: ‘lol why are we even staying apart?’

Belle: ‘um maybe so you don’t literally DIE?!’

[tomicscomics]

09/19/2025

I haven't watched the Ice Age movies, so for all I know, this is true.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus tells a crowd a parable about a shrewd servant caught between greed and prudence. Jesus explains that no one can serve two masters; when it comes down to it, one master will be more important to you than the other. Jesus ends by saying, "You cannot serve both God and mammon (old Bible slang for 'earthly wealth')." 2. In this cartoon, Fr. Mark is having his class take turns reading this story. When it gets to Agnes's turn, she reads Jesus's mammon quote aloud, but she misreads "mammon" as "mammoths." Agnes is a recurring character who frequently misreads and mishears Bible quotes, giving me a perfect excuse to draw godless creatures at the height of their folly. 3. When Agnes misreads the quote, she comes to believe mammoths once stood in opposition to God, and concludes this is why mammoths went extinct (i.e. they were all killed by God for their transgressions). I haven't watched the Ice Age movies, so for all I know, this is true.

[captainsamuelmorrigan]

Eddie Munson talks in his sleep. Tonight, after a few finished joints, he seems to be extra chatty.

Steve lays there, enjoying the quiet buzz of the movie that they had put on for background noise.

Eds had fallen asleep after the weed had soothed his aching scars. The taught skin finally seemed to relax. After a while, however, Eddie's eyebrows bunched together, his face tensing in thought.

Steve looks down at his dark curls flowing down from his head on Steve's shoulder. Eddie's face has a slight sheen of moisture. "You okay? You look a little sweaty."

Eddie's eyes stay closed. "Yeah, I just have to get the presentations ready..."

"What?"

Eddie adjusts himself. "Grrr...." He mumbles something Steve doesn't quite catch. "-'m sweaty."

Chuckling, Steve asked, "You have to make presentations about that?"

"Just small ones. You know, like earlier."

"What?" Steve sits up a little straighter, starting to question if Eddie was really asleep at all. Maybe he was fucking with him?

Eddie huffs. "Like with you and Rob's characters. Your characters both have penises, and I came in, and I was like, 'I want a penis. I want to be in with the penises. I want to be part of the cool kids that have penises!!'"

Steve wheezes, laughing so hard he's having trouble looking for something to write this down on.

Eddie stirs a little bit. Steve waits with baited breath to see what gold will fall from Eddie's pretty lips next.

"And that's something I would say SOBER!!" He shouts, before turning onto his side and letting out a loud snore.

Steve throws his fist into his own mouth, tears of laughter streaming down his face, trying to muffle his cackles so as not to wake his sleeping prince. "I have to tell Rob about this, oh my god."

[myndelling]

[xwxtchbxtchx]

Rosalie barging into Alice and Jasper's room: I'm having a day and could really use a girls' night, are you doing anything later?

Alice: Uhm, I was gonna go to the library, but I could stop and rent a movie on the way back!

Rosalie: Oh, sorry Al, I was actually talking to Jasper

Jasper, already pulling his hair back with a kitty ear headband: Red clay or volcanic ash face masks?

[bitterseaproduction]

Lucifer: *making the stupidest faces trying not to sneeze whilst tied up in the box* Vox: *motions at the sight while facing Alastor* Seriously, what do you see in this guy?! Alastor: He makes me laugh. Vox: Alastor: Vox: 😦😡🤬🗯️👹🧨🤯💀 Alastor: 🙂

[misquoted-ranma]

[starshipmcgee]

After months of Steve flirting like he breathes and Eddie restraining himself he finally slips up while they’re all out at a club ‘supporting robin’ together when a guy tries to get handsy with him on the dance floor and Steve slips in between them and whispers into his ear

Steve: sorry babe, figured you’d be slightly less uncomfortable with me. Let me know when he fucks off an ill back off.

Eddie: if it keeps you close I hope my asshole ex will never get the hint lol

Steve: s…sorry what?

Eddie: 😳🫠🤗 uh. Surprise?

Steve: 🤯 fuck you man I’ve been flirting for months!! 😤 -kisses-