Starlight: Hey Trixie, it’s getting pretty late, shouldn’t we be putting the chicken in the oven? The kids are coming over soon-
Trixie: So I was in the kitchen, I was getting things ready for the Hearth’s Warming dinner, right?
Trixie: So I got the chicken, got the spices, got it all prepared, got it all stuffed up and put it in the oven.
Starlight: But wait, I just saw the chicken on the counter-
Trixie: And then I looked in the fridge… And I saw the chicken that we bought.
Starlight: But I thought you just said you put it in the ove-
Starlight: There’s no possible way you could’ve-
Starlight: Trixie did you fucking COOK Silverstream’s PET COCKATRICE, EDITH?!
Starlight: Trixie, Twilight left us enough to buy every chicken farm that has ever existed in all of time, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER ASKED YOU TO SLAUGHTER A LIVE ANIMAL?!
Trixie: I DON’T KNOW! I forgot that we already bought a chicken!
Starlight: Oh, so next time we have a burger night, I’m gonna have to worry about you breaking into Yona’s dorm and turning her into ground beef?!
Trixie: To be perfectly honest, after today, I wouldn’t rule that out as a possibility.
Starlight: Alright, alright, we’ll salvage this! We will salvage this!! GALLUS!! Get in here!!
Gallus: (enters the room) Yo, whassup? Hey, Ma, it’s getting kinda late. Don’t you think you should start preparing the chicken?
Gallus: What are you talking about? I just saw it on the coun-… Oh. Oh! OH! HA-!!
Starlight: Shut up! We don’t have time for you to laugh! Here, take my wallet, go put on a hoodie, go to the Everfree or some black market somewhere. By any means necessary, go get an identical looking cockatrice to the one Silverstream had!
Gallus: Wait, why do I have to go? I fucking hated that little lizard-chicken!
Starlight: Because, honestly, you are more likely to steal it and we really need the speed right now!
Gallus: … Okay, that’s a fair point. Little hurtful, but a fair point. I’m gonna go.
Ocellus: (entering the room) Hey, why’s everybody in this room right… now…
Ocellus: … You killed fake Edith, didn’t you?
Trixie: I’m so sorry! It was a complete accident!
Starlight: Ocellus, I’m so sorry, Trixie didn’t mean to do it, it was a total mistake and did you just say fake Edith?
Ocellus: Yeah, fake Edith.
Starlight: Yeah, no, explain. Now.
Ocellus: Well, it’s around Hearth’s Warming time, and your family is filled with both the smartest and the dumbest fucking people on the planet. No offense, Gallus.
Gallus: Yep, honestly, some taken.
Ocellus: So whenever there’s a holiday associated with the slaughter of an animal tangentially related to my girlfriend’s favorite pet, I always assume that one of you is going to be dumb enough to slip up and end up killing her. No offense, Gallus.
Gallus: Yep, still- still some taken.
Ocellus: So, around the holiday time, I take Edith, put her in an undisclosed location, and then I jaunt on over to the Everfree to grab a replacement and let it… scurry around the castle.
Ocellus: Yeah, hasn’t really been useful the last couple of years, a lot of people end up getting petrified. But I know what I’m gonna thank Santa Hooves for this year!
Trixie: Okay, so I didn’t kill Edith?
Ocellus: No, Counselor, Edith’s fine. This time. Let’s go eat!
