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i believe you when you say you're not gonna forget it but you're getting this ask anyway just so i can say thank you for indulging the uzusane and also sanemi with a mimosa is a physical need by now lol

Nya ha ha! I am here to deliver the ultimate Uzusane experience! (Well- at least within my abilities areljarjkekjrajke) I couldn't remember if you ship them or just wanted a Tengen-Sanemi centric fic so I left the relationship ambiguous. The important thing is- Sanemi's got a Mimosa! :D I hope you like it Rey! :3

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@thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @wolfyeatstacos @gladdygirl18 @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @backy-san @t-wordiiish @sarahmaystock5578 @rachi-roo

Sanemi Shinazugawa was a simple man.

He got up, made his ohagi and tea in the morning, and went about whatever set of missions he was assigned to that day. Sometimes he managed to sneak a few hours of training in between reports, sharpening his skills and perfecting his breathing styles.

It was bitter, exhausting work; but Sanemi wouldn’t ever say that. Not out loud anyway. Master Kagaya gave his worthless life a second chance in this business. Complaining just felt disrespectful.

His brain and heart may have felt that way, but his body?

“Gaaaaah…”

His body had other plans.

“That’s one hell of a groan, Shinazugawa. Are you feeling alright?” Tengen looked over at the shorter man, understanding in his gaze as he watched him try to stretch out the aches along his spine. “You overworked yourself again.” “Shut up- I’m fine. This is noooothing!” He couldn’t finish without a groan as he stretched, waking up another sore spot that sent pain pulsing down his legs. “...it’s nothing.”

“Uh huh. And I’m shorter than Shinobu.”

“Definitely dumber.”

“Everyone’s dumb compared to her- the point is, you’re clearly strained!” Tengen did a fancy gesture before pulling out a pamphlet- where he kept it, Sanemi had no idea. “Lucky for you- I’ve got just the place to go! Check it out; there’s this new spa that opened up-”

“No thanks.”

“It offers mud baths, massages, pedicures-”

“What the hell is a pedicure?”

“They even have drinks! We can get tipsy!”

“And just how are we supposed to do this? We have missions and…” At Tengen’s guilty look, Sanemi blinked.

“You didn’t.”

“He said it was fine!”

“What if I said no?”

“You haven’t really.”

“Kyojuro?”

“He went with me last time. I’m sharing the love!”

“What about your wives?”

“They’re having their own spa day with Mitsuri and Shinobu- look, Sanemi- you and I both know how badly you need this! Hell- I need this! Just looking at you makes my body ache.” Tengen rolled his shoulders in emphasis, letting out a low groan of his own. “It’ll be nice- just you and me; hitting up a spa and finally getting some good ol’ relaxation time.”

Sanemi considered. It did sound nice. The idea of someone riding his back of aches and pains nearly made his legs give out. And the idea of getting drunk was kinda fun…

“Okay- fine. Since you’ve already gone through the trouble of getting us both time off.” Sanemi rolled his eyes, trying not to blush at the whoop of joy Tengen let out.

~~~

“Welcome to the Wisteria Spa! We’re here to treat your chronic aches and pains.” The woman who greeted them was small but strong, her wrinkled face held a pair of eyes much like their own, and her smile was fond as it was warm. “You must be one of ‘Gaya’s children- it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“‘Gaya?” Sanemi raised a brow, even more confused when Tengen snorted.

“‘Gaya’ is Master. Madam Hira here knew all of the Master's family for generations.” The bigger hashira laughed harder at Sanemi’s shocked stare, turning back to the amused old woman with a bow. “Thank you for having us.”

“Of course. I take it you’ll be having the usual routine?”

“Yes! Oh and- can you bring out you know what? It’s Sanemi here’s first time afterall.” Tengen grinned at him, eyes twinkling. If there was ever a more humanized version of a red flag. Sanemi felt a shiver run down his spine.

“Oh, absolutely. Now- come in, come in.” ~~~

“Ahhh…isn’t this nice Shinazugawa?” Tengen was a picture of bliss, face painted with some sort of mint colored cream as the various girls worked on his arms and back, digging into the muscle with practiced movements. “All those demons we have to fight- we don’t get enough time to really relax.”

Sanemi would have responded had he not been fighting for his life. Hands clutching the sides of the table, he willed himself to stay still as the girl digging into his back dug out every knot within. It hurt- a lot more than he anticipated; but that wasn’t the issue. Pain he could handle any day of the week.

This however- it was torture.

“You know- I don’t ask you this alot, but how’s your personal life going? Did you finally get the guts to ask somebody out? I know it' a bit hard out there for someone like you, but I can help.” Tengen grinned at him around his mask, fighting down a laugh at Sanemi’s strained expression. “Too much for you, Shinazugawa?”

“If it’s too much pressure, I can lighten up.” The girl offered, voice kind and concerned.

“N-No. It’s fi-ine!” Sanemi grunted, wincing when a whimper escaped. Tengen’s eyes widened with glee at the sound, sharing a look with the girl working Sanemi’s back. “I can ha-handle it!”

“You sure?”

“Y-yes!” He could do this!

“He's a tough one- your friend Let's see what happens when you two get your feet done.” The woman working on Tengen grinned, earning a laugh from the others. Sanemi pushed his face against the cushion, scrunching his face against the worn leather. He could handle this- just focus on something else- something else-

“I know it's hard out there for someone like you, but I can help."

He didn't know why it cut so badly. It wasn't anything new coming out of Tengen's mouth.

At least now he had something to take his mind off the ache.

~~~

Turns out, Sanemi could not handle it.

“Oh man- you’re so ticklish!” Tengen laughed at the sight, grinning at the other as Sanemi sank in his chair, one leg pulled up to his chest while the other was in a vice grip. They had made it through the massages- barely in Sanemi’s case- and were now getting these “pedicures’ Tengen raved about.

It was nice at first- the water was warm and they were offered drinks once they were comfortable. Whatever they gave him was sweet and citrusy, fizzing against his lips as he sipped. He never really liked oranges, but he wasn’t going to turn down a free glass of alcohol.

Then the actual pedicure started and every nerve in his body lit up like a clap of lighting.

“Shuhuhuhuht ihihiihiiht! Gheahhahahahah, whihiihihihy dohehehehes it tihihihihickle?” Sanemi was doing everything in his power to not rip his leg free. Not that he could- the earlier massage plus the few sips of the fancy orange juice made his body feel like air, too floaty to really form any strength. “Gahhahahad, I’m so shahahhhaharry!”

Hm. Maybe that’s why they do this after? To make sure you can’t get away?

Sanemi had to give these ladies more credit.

“No worries, dear- you’re not the first to react this way.” The older woman working his foot laughed with him, hands unyielding as she scraped at his calluses with a small box. “Uzui’s friend- the blonde one who eats a lot- he could barely keep it together himself when we did this. Though I will say you’re much more ticklish than him.”

Tengen busted out laughing, delighted. Sanemi would have chewed him out had he not been fighting down an embarrassing squeal. Sinking in his seat, he covered his face with his hands, unable to muffle the sound of his giggle fits. “Ahehahahhahhaaha! Whehehehhen dohohohoes it ehehehehend?”

“Well, given they’re only on the first foot- not for a while.” Tengen tucked his arms behind his head, smiling in ease. “Try to enjoy it, Mr. Tickles. You’ll get used to it eventually. Have some more Mimosa.” The glass was pushed into his hand once more, fizzing and delightful.

Through his giggles, he managed to get it down in one gulp, earning a whooping cheer from the other.

~~~ “What did I tell you? This is the best part of the whole day.”

“Hm…this isn’t bad at all.” Sanemi tipped his head back, the hot water steaming his skin and making him flushed. The final trip of their little spa day was a dip in the baths- the one thing Sanemi rather enjoyed.

Granted, he enjoyed all of it- but he wasn’t getting tickled here, so that was an added bonus.

“Aren’t you glad you came? I’m glad you came. You’re always so…tense. It’s bad for the skin.” Tengen leaned back against the edge, towel over his freshly washed hair and positively glowing. “You’d end up looking like one of those wicked witches from the fairy tales if you kept going.”

“Gee- thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Rolling his eyes, Sanemi couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the other. “Can I ask you something? Why did you actually invite me out? It’s not as if we hang out often outside meetings and whatever.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve known you forever, Sanemi! Why would I not invite you?” Tengen’s voice was matter of fact- as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Sure- you and I might not be as tight as we could be but…I want to change that.”

Sanemi blinked, wondering if he should have drunk that second and third mimosa before coming here. It sounded like things were getting heavy. He didn’t know if he was in the right state of mind for this conversation. “Tengen-”

“I’m not…I’m not the nicest to you. I like to think my goofing on you is fairly harmless, but your face earlier when I asked about your personal life. You looked…hurt.”

“Well yeah- I was getting my body cracked in half.”

“You know what I mean- emotionally hurt; like my comment gutted you. I didn’t think about it before but…I go too far. I’m so adamant about getting a rise out of you so you can just-shit; relax- I forget you’re just as prone to bruise like the rest of us- if not more.”

The happy buzz of his drinks soured some in his stomach as Sanemi let the words fall into him. Was he that obvious? “It’s not like you're wrong though. I'm not exactly some sweetheart like Mitsuri or a lovable guy like Kyojuro. I’m loud, angry, rash- and a colossal jerk on a good day.” The water blurred some- must have been the steam. “I doubt anyone wants to deal with someone like me. This is who I am- a walking talking scumbag with an ugly mug to match.”

Tengen was quiet, the only sound between them was the shifts in the water.

“I really made you feel like that.” When he spoke again, Tengen sounded so, so sad. “I’m sorry, Sanemi. Really, I am.”

“D-Don’t be. It’s fine.” God- why did his eyes get so blurry? The steam was making them burn too. He turned away, hoping Tengen wouldn’t hear the break in his voice through the water. “I-I’m fine. I’m…”

A hand found his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“You might be, but I’m not. I can’t be- knowing how much of an asshole I’ve been to you. Sure- you’re bold, brash- and some days I wanna throw you in the trash.” That got a wet laugh out of Sanemi. “But you’re also brave and resilient and willing to do whatever it takes to save people. You love others so much it visibly hurts- you just-care. And you know, I think that’s what the Master sees and admires most about you- what we all admire about you.”

Sanemi couldn’t make his voice work- too choked with tears. He didn’t turn around, but he did reach out to pat Tengen’s hand, hoping that would tell him everything he was feeling.

“You still need to work on your skin routine though. Scars aside, you’re dryer than Rengoku’s hair. What’s gonna happen if someone goes to stroke your cheek and they end up scraping off their fingerprints? They'd get away with so many crimes!”

Sanemi threw his head back with a cackle, the sound all the way from his belly as it echoed around the room. A snort escaped soon after, and then Tengen was laughing just as hard, hanging onto his shoulder as they laughed and laughed.

It was the first real laugh Sanemi let out in a long, long time.

~~~

“Wow…that was rather nice.” Sanemi felt good. Real good. His aches were gone- it felt like he was doing total constant breathing without having to try. If desired, he bet he could run all the way back home without breaking- that’s how good he felt.

“I told you! And you were gonna turn me down!” Tengen shoved him lightly, nearly sending them both off their feet. It was like they were two drunken idiots, even though the alcohol in their system was barely there anymore. “We should do this more often.”

“Head to spas? We’d lose our edge.”

“Nah- that’s a once and a while treat. I mean- hang out more. You and I.” Tengen was watching him, eyes kind. “I rather liked today. I feel like I got to know you more than before.”

“You sound like a guy in a romance novel. Is that how you got your wives? Practiced a few of those cheesy one liners everyday until they gave in?” Sanemi grinned, laughing when Tengen jabbed his ribs a few times. “Ahah! Ohohohokay okay!”

“You’re cheeky when you're relaxed. I like it. So…?” He waited, returning to the original question with a raised brow.

This would likely mean more teasing; Tengen would have a lot more to work with in driving him mad. His daily training sessions would be weekly, and he’d probably have less time to himself with how Tengen loved just popping in whenever he felt like it.

“Yeah…you know, I’d like that.” Sanemi smiled, nodding. “Let’s do that.”

Tengen whooped, throwing his fists into the air in victory. Sanemi ducked his head to hide his grin, barely suppressing a chuckle.

Yeah. He’d like that very much.

Thanks for reading!

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