#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc tvl#jacob anderson#sam reid
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in other i really wanna do that “mashup all your faves into a pastiche of your ultimate type” but i really don’t think anyone would ever want to lay their eyes upon that hoooooboy
just the notion of combining alucard and plasmoday alone is making my flesh run off my body
...track suit + jumpsuit + 3pc suit = ....................juicy couture
Hope you're ready, it's
TIME FOR SPAGHETTI
on
SHITTY PHONE CAMERA COOKING THEATRE
Today we're gonna make Spaghetti al Limone, e.g. Lemon Spaghetti, from this recipe. I think you'll like it because it's two cooking vessels and less than ten ingredients? And it's good. So good.
INGREDIENCE
You will need the above items:
One Spaghetti
Parmesan (pronounced in a way that annoys your partner)
Lemon
Butter: 3tbsp
Cream (Heavy): 1 Cup
White Wine: 1.5 Cups
Salt n' Pepa
You will need two pots: one for spaghetti boiling that can be any kind, and one for the sauce, which should be stainless steel or enamel- you're cooking with lemon and wine, so something that's reactive with acids etc. (like cast iron, copper, or most commonly, aluminum) is bad- it'll impart undesirable ionic funk.
THE PASTA STEP
Before you start doing anything else, get your water boiling and, when it is, cook your pasta for like, 7-8 minutes, saving some of the cooking water before you drain it. This will happen while you're doing everything else and doesn't require your attention much.
DOING A LOT OF THINGS TO A LEMON
In this step you're doing a lot of things to your lemon.
First, roll it under your hand on your cutting board- this makes it easier to get lots of delicious juice outta that bad little fruit. I learned this from the cocktail guy on Watcher, so I guess Youtube is okay.
Second, zest it. Usually, I would zest by using my microplane (bitsy grater) but in this case I took a recommendation from the comments and used a veggie peeler, which was pretty great- I got almost all yellow zest and almost no bitter white pith, which is what you want.
Most of the time the comments will be insane, e.g. they replaced all the ingredients and actually just made queso or something, but in this case, valid.
Third, chop that zest into matchsticks. Visualize yourself selling them tragically at Christmas as you freeze to death, and recall that, in truth, while you may be relatively fortunate we all suffer under capitalism's iron yoke.
Fourth, toss the zest-sticks into the non-reactive pot with the white wine and reduce, reduce, reduce until you get something thick and sweet and a little sticky. If you can swirl it around with your stirring spoon and it won't flow back immediately into the areas you removed it from you're probably good, I honestly may have reduced it too much.
Lastly you're gonna give it the cream. Start with a little bit (resippy suggests 1/4 cup), stir until the color is uniform, then pour in the rest and simmer it until it's thick and...creamy. Like a cream sauce is. Under no circumstances walk away from the stove, you have milk on the fire and it WILL know.
THE REST OF THE THINGS GO IN NOW
Here is a picture of the rest of the things: lemon (for juicing), parmesan, pasta cooking water, and butter. You're gonna toss the noodles with the cream sauce you just made, then add all of the above, processed as their respective tools suggest.
I went butter first, then lemon juice, but I'm not sure that matters.
What does matter is taking your time adding all the parmesan- if you add a whole mountain at once it'll form into an obdurate lump and you'll feel sad. Grate enough that it forms a sizable lump, then fold it in- meaning, pick up the pasta from the bottom and plop it over the top, so the cheese is in the middle, then stir it all around. This should make it actually integrate instead of being little parmesan treasures in an otherwise cheeseless sauce. Pouring a little pasta water over it also seems to help.
YOU HAVE MADE A LEMON SPAGHETTI
You have now made a lemon spaghetti.
It doesn't have much acid to it, contrary to expectation; the cream sauce is mild and warm and funky and the lemon and wine comes in, sweet and sharp, as you're finishing a bite, lingering on your lips. You are being kissed by a sexy lemon, and their friend parmesan is stroking you sensually and asking if you party.
Say yes.
