#spaziedoesntknow

[spaziedoesntknow]

Me: * eating French toast sticks at 1 am*

James: I'll wait

Me * syrup on my boobs* what

[spaziedoesntknow]

Billy...

So a little less than a week ago I stumbled across a small whisper of a head cannon that someone wrote. It was barely two sentences, but it completely changed how I feel about Billy in Stranger Things. The head cannon was about Billy meeting Eleven.

Now just to get it out of the way my first opinions of Billy and feelings for him up until that point were pretty standard. He's an abusive, racist, dick. He didn't deserve to get beat by his father but he seems to enjoy tormenting Max way past the point of treating her badly because of the way his father treats him and Max's (possible) ignorance of the abuse he faces every day. In my head Billy was one of those guys who started fights for the thrill of it, for the power of destroying something because they could. And maybe he is, but the thing I thought the most was that his introduction and behavior would have been so much better story wise if Billy had been the baby in the flashbacks or one of Eleven's siblings. And that his anger was the same as Kali's just left unfocused and in his father's mind reigned in by the abuse and responsibilities of making sure that Max is home when she's supposed to be. For some reason it was always more interesting to have Billy as a supernatural bully who in contrast to Kali and Eleven wasn't focused on destroying Papa and the people that took them or even saving the world. But instead living as close to a normal life as he could.

" Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place..." - Dawson, dazed and confused (1993)

For the most part I haven't delved into Stranger Things fanfiction. None of the stories had caught my eye and with season One it was one of the few times that I thought something was perfect as is. Season two there are a few things that I would change but with a lot of the fics being written focusing on Billy and Steve, I stayed clear. Until last week. There are only a few stories that have Billy and Eleven's interactions as main plot and a lot of those are still Billy/Steve centric, which while I like them better as friends or casual enemies who will have to keep saving their kids , aren't too bad. The all give the couple a real relationship and none of them shy away from Billy as a bully or the abuse of his father or even Billy and Max's estranged relationship. Instead they dive in head first, and use it to bring Billy into the fold and show that he's something more than an angry sack of racism and hate. Some show him turning around in response to the bat, others have him and Eleven bonding over their bad fathers and the abuse they suffered as well as battling thoughts of being a monster.

All throughout the show we are shown two stories, those of the children and those of the parents. We go insane with Joyce as she searches for Will. We weep for Barb with her parents and their desire for closure, and we struggle with Hopper as he deals with a pre-teen girl, her superpowers and the loss of his own daughter.

With the children we see Steve stepping up where parents should be, how Mike and Nancy's parents are technically there but might as well not be and how each of them are determined to keep each other safe when the adults have failed them. By adding in Max and Billy the show forces us to look more directly at the relationships between the families. Because before Billy, and his dad, the only adults harming children were Papa and the scientists. They may be running and fighting for their lives but they can always go home. The parents may be oblivious or may fight for their child but no one in the party had a home that wasn't safe because of their parents. Even now Max isn't the one that gets hit, Billy does, she deals with the aftermath which isn't coming from a parent but from her brother.

Billy 's relationship with his dad is the only one that comes close to mirroring Eleven's experience with her Papa in the context of the party. Because while Kali also was abused she made a new life for herself and has focused her intentions. But Billy and Eleven are still around father figures, still under somebody else's control, and someone else's responsibility, So when they lash out it has direct consequences in the way they interact with their parents, those around them and themselves.

Its also interesting to note how Billy and Steve's lives are paralleled in each other. While Steve's parents are never around, most of season two we didn't even know that Max and Billy had parents, much less moved to Hawkins with them. Obviously their care for their hair, car, and popularity are simular as well. The only real difference is Steve as the golden boy was seen as a goal for Nancy, them dating being a miracle the size of John Hughes' sixteen candles. While Billy is more like the bullies from Footloose and the Karate Kid, actively trying to murder people for fun and drinking for status. Steve is rich and Billy is poor. Steve is all heart and Billy is all fist. They are set up as direct foils for each other and will definitely push both characters farther than their established molds as they interact more.

In the coming season it will be interesting to see if these parallels continue, and how Billy becomes more integrated into the story. Because Billy as he is now is a Bully who's out of control and being abused so the only way he can gain control is to hurt people. But he becomes so much more interesting when put near Eleven and Steve. As a foil to the established characters he helps show the holes in the established relationships, how perception determines affection, and if anyone is truly a monster or if circumstances and support structures have more to do with it

[spaziedoesntknow]

The new Percy Jackson feels like I imagine the new Harry Potter show will feel. Like I'm excited that it's happening and like the actors. They're making good choices but... I'm constantly waiting for something new. And I don't think it's going to happen for a few years.

At this point this is the 3rd adaptation and the HP show will also be except where with PJ I've only half read the books and watched the movies multiple times. Yet I Still am disassociating through the parts I know have to happen to move the plot along. I've had years of Harry Potter, like 20 years of fanfiction and books and movies and what if neither of them hit anymore.

[spaziedoesntknow]

the only reason I don't want to do it is because of fear. And fear should never stop you from doing anything

me.sdk

[spaziedoesntknow]

not super proud of it, but it’s a better representation of the mood board/story I’m working on with Maya & Thor

[spaziedoesntknow]

so one of my guy friends asked me to kiss him tonight. Later explaining that he doesn't think that kissing is a big deal and isn't super intimate. So I should be cool with kissing him. I explained that I wasn't going to kiss him because I wasn't attracted to him. and while I'm o ok with kissing strangers or in other settings kissing him wasn't something that I was interested in. This is all after I spent a few awkward attempts trying to complement him while also telling him that I personally wasn't attracted to him, it went something like "you weren't unattractive in high school and as someone who has known you since you were 15 (he's 26 now) I have to say that your looks have improved. I don't find you attractive but good job sir" or some variation of that. it didn't really bother me during the conversation but thinking about it now it creeps me out. just because he suggested it s few times after i said no the first time and tried to downplay it before commenting "I think you're thinking about it too much " and maybe I am blowing things out of proportion but sometimes dude is very Jekyll and Hyde about things and this was one of those more unsettling times.

[spaziedoesntknow]

thinking about getting a tattoo. Current idea is a full moon with either a wolf or werewolf silhouette infront of it. With a banner or letters with the front bottoms lyrics from "brw nice to me" either 'don't worry you don't have to stay the same' or 'i think you're changing'. in the style of either dot work or American traditional

[spaziedoesntknow]

Once in Spanish class during a presentation I started crying. So the rest of my class tried to get my professor fired. It was nice of them but seriously what the fuck