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throws a condom at him

“Absolutely not. When I say I come prepared.. this is not what I have in my pocket. You know better.”

Rattling coins only.

And maybe a collar.

#.finished documents #spec-b #.mobile.#raw dawg

✹♙ @spec-b continued from here:

Cloud was often on the road though it never felt like he could get far enough. Demons didn't stay behind in the ever growing Edge or in the ruins of Midgar. Sometimes he'd venture to Kalm without aim or purpose. He'd taken to sometimes just simply.. watching people. Living their lives, figuring it out without Mako, often just trying to survive. Sometimes though he'd see other things.. people going on as if nothing ever happened. Some adapt to change better than others. For him, he was still trying to figure out his place in this world without a sword in hand. He didn't .. and that's why he opted to keep fighting. One sword to two. An idea to mold them together. Would three be possible? That's where it was .. his 'comfort' zone .. even in times of peace and rebuilding, he can't take himself out of it. No one would understand either. Well. Almost no one. An exhale comes from Cloud's nostrils as he settled into an inn room, sitting down upon the edge of the bed. That's when Zack's voice rings through. Ever the voice of reason - even when he wasn't interested. He just wanted his own time. "It isn't like I'm far away. I always come back." He says with a shrug, knowing full well he's dodging what Zack is implying. He isn't wrong though, right? He does always come back. His eyes flicker over to the window where he knows the ruins of Midgar are just out of sight beyond what he can see from his perch. It wasn't fair to Tifa, was it? She stayed behind with Marlene and Denzel while Cloud went out and did .. whatever it was he did. A bit of weight is added to that guilt. "Do you think I'm an asshole?"

it's as if he's really there. yet he only shows up within cloud's psyche in times of need, moments of peril when the blond's tenacious heart threatens to fail him and lose hope — in that case, why now? there is no immediate danger here, no explosive battle raging on with the din of swords ( except for in cloud's mind, perhaps; what is it that stirs behind furrowed brow and hard-set eyes? will he ever find relief from war? ). and as the essence of his former superior, mentor, friend reclines on the twin bed opposite like he did many years ago, before the fall of nibelheim, voice appears as casually as ever. rarely had zack ever been afflicted with formalities. death hasn't changed that.

" yeah, kinda. " but there's a smile behind it, contagious as flu, and it warms the words. " look, i'm not gonna tell you how to live your life. i mean, shit, if i'd stayed travelling and away from home, maybe i'd be in a different place. " ( his nostos had been his harmartia ).

he sits up, swivels on the bed, lets both heavy feel thump onto the floorboards though in reality they make no sound at all — carrying no weight with which to alert those downstairs to movement, only a non-existent noise created by cloud's mind to fill the gap. suspension of disbelief. it's a theatrical production where the audience is expected to embellish the scene themselves. " but midgar isn't where you'd be heading, and you're not in that situation anymore. don't you think tifa has spent enough time wondering where you are? "

the older feels for him, he really does; surely never have two people understood each other so deeply. but there's a time for rejecting the world and running, and one for taking c o m f o r t in loved ones. if zack were waiting for cloud in edge, taking root within the walls of the re-established 7th heaven, would he be more desperate to return? would he at least call, just to check in?

" you're not an asshole, cloud. you're hurting. but that can make us act like assholes, sometimes — and being alone isn't going to make you feel better; it hasn't done yet. "

#spec-b #/ :')