Say What?
I have a bit of a reputation for having unusually weird things. It’s a mixture of my literal line of thinking and how I fight off social anxiety, being over the top dramatic. I have recently had a string of them that left my friend speechless. Here are some of the more amusing ones:
Conversation One:
Me: Potato chips are evil.
Friend: Why’s that?
Me: My IBS has decided that Potato Chips are actually the devil. A tasty, delicious snack that has replaced the forbidden fruit. When I gave into the whispered voices of temptation, I realized too late that the salty goodness, modern day mana, had secretly been a succubus in disguise. I was lead down the easy road of sin into the Hell of cramps, bloating, and diarrhea.
Friend. ...
Conversation Two:
Friend: Sharing is caring!
Me: That explains why the seven deadly sins involving others are the most enjoyable! Fun stuff like murder and theft.
Me: Oh, and I guess adulatory too! Good thing I’m not a Christian :3c
Friend: ...
Conversation Three:
Classmate: ... And that’s my issue.
Professor: That certainly sounds difficult, like trying to pull toenails off a dead man.
Me: Why would that be hard? They’re dead! They can’t fight back.
Classmate and Professor: ....