And so I'm back! With too many memes! You just walked in to find me here eating barbecue chicken wings!
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And so I'm back! With too many memes! You just walked in to find me here eating barbecue chicken wings!
Jaune: What's the worst thing you've ever fought?
Velvet: A Daggerhearth.
Jaune: What's that?
Velvet: Do you know what a Tarantula Hawk Wasp is?
Jaune: ... I haven't. I Don't know that I want to.
Velvet: Too Bad! This is what it looks like:
Velvet: It's wasp the about size of your palm, and it has a half-inch long stinger, with venom that is blinding and debilitating.
Velvet: It's prey? Tarantulas. It stings them, and if the tarantula's lucky, it'll just be eaten. If it's unlucky, it will paralyzed, dragged to the den of the Wasp, and have an egg laid on it. It is still awake and aware.
Velvet: After the egg hatches, the larva is hungry. And it burrows into the Tarantula to eat.
Velvet: Again; Awake and Aware of all this, unable to move.
Velvet: The Larva eats all that it can, avoiding vital organs to leave the poor thing alive-
Velvet: Again, I cannot stress this enough, THE TARANTULA IS AWAKE AND AWARE OF ALL OF THIS
Velvet: Then the baby burst outs the abdomen like a Chestburster from Alien and leaves the Tarantula to finally kick the bucket.
Jaune: *HOrrified*
Velvet: Now imagine A tarantula HAwk Wasp the size of You.
Velvet: That's what a Daggerhearth is. Nasty Buggers.
Jaune: *Reconsidering his life choices*
no tumblr I refresh my page to get rid of the wasp video not to fucking see it THREE MORE TIMES T_T
I'm scared off wasps and hornets, so I've head cannon these two to also be scared to feel better about it.
me: [has massive debilitating spheksophobia (fear of wasps/hornets)]
youtube: hey wanna watch this video of a guy removing a massive hornet's nest from a home?
me: ...ugh fine.
Rest in peace Waspzilla. You were a worthy foe. The beat and buzz of your wings filled my heart with terror. The tippety tap of your feet and abdomen on surfaces filled my soul with dead.
You were the largest wasp that I have ever encountered within my residence. Unfortunately, my bathroom is off limits to such as you and I entered battle against you.
You set my heart racing. I trembled as I dual-wielded a flip flop in one hand and a spray bottle of vinegar solution in the other. The thought of encountering you in the shower while getting ready for work spurred me into action.
I parted the shower curtain with my armament. You were crawling on the ledge at the top of the molding. Your shadow crept across the ledge as you investigated the surface.
I swapped my flip flop for a bottle of all purpose cleaner. Apprehensive, I waited for you to come into range. Once you had revealed yourself once more, I fired.
I lifted my weapons with shaking arms and sprayed at the maximum range the nozzles were capable of.
I managed to coat you in a fine mist of vinegar-water. It slowed you, but not enough to safely engage in close combat. I backed away as you flew through the air to the walk above the sink.
I could tell that I scored a hit but you were out of my reach. I retrieved a long implement in case you retreated further and continued to spray at my maximum reach.
Finally, I was gaining the upper hand. You lost your grip on the wall and fell to the vanity top, no longer able to fly.
I furiously pumped the nozzle to drench you in solution before swiping you to the floor with my trusty flip flop once more in hand. I made your end as quick as I could, there was no reason to make you suffer further.
It is only fitting that it took just as long to clean up the vinegar droplets from my walls and fixtures as it did to do battle with you.
The terror you inspired within me was so great that I placed a box over the receptacle that holds your remains in case your deity would grant you the ability to seek vengeance.
When I brushed my teeth the next morning, the taste of vinegar had me observe a moment of silence for my fallen adversary.
You were a most worthy and fearsome foe.
Spheksophobia
Every itch is another insect inching closer, deeper inward
Every whisper is the whoosh of wings beside my ear
Every scream is another soul stolen by the storm
Every cry the final sound of corpse and cold and fear
I love looking at cottagecore blogs...except a lot of them will slip in exactly 1 (one) GIANT picture of some sort of wasp, and then I have to leave.