Guys I had a thought.
"If a person wearing a blindfold picked the answers on a true or false quiz at random, do you know what score they would get?"
"50%."
"That's right!"
"The only way to get all the answers wrong is to know which answers are right."
???
Hello?? Is this thing on??
If you picked answers at random on a true or false quiz, you'd get 50% (at minimum).
If you had 3 years and $500 million to make 1 season of a show (a show which you have previously worked on and created from your bare hands and made 4 phenomenal seasons before this) you should (at minimum) make a mediocre show which has some bits of good writing, the same overarching themes and core messages, even if the entire thing is overall considered mid.
ARE WE SERIOUS GUYS 😭 C'MON
If season 5 was truly just 'mid', it would at least make sense and answer some questions.
Will is connected to the hivemind -> Will can tap into the hivemind -> Will can see through the demogorgons -> Will can control the demogorgons -> Will can control Vecna -> Will can control the Mindflayer -> Will dies when the hivemind is killed (the brain dies, the body dies)
Would have been the natural progression of this plotline, but instead, we got:
Will is connected to the hivemind -> Will can tap into the hivemind -> Will can see through the demogorgons -> Will can control the demogorgons -> Will can control Vecna -> Will is not connected to the hivemind anymore and is completely fine when Vecna and the Mindflayer are killed
???
Huh? But I thought Will was always connected to the hivemind? ("I don't think the connection was ever truly severed")
Okay another one but this time including a plot that has spanned across the whole show.
Just so we know: S1, S2, S3, S4, S5
Mike meets Eleven -> Mike helps Eleven -> Mike looks after and cares for El -> Mike kisses El -> Mike loses El -> Mike and Jane meet again after a long time -> Mike and Jane start dating -> Mike lies to Jane -> Mike and Jane have a fight and break up -> Mike doesn't understand what he has done wrong and doesn't apologise -> Jane kisses Mike -> Jane leaves town -> Mike and Jane are dating again -> Jane is lying to Mike -> Jane has a fight with Mike -> Jane asks Mike to tell her he loves her -> Mike refuses -> Jane leaves -> Mike regrets not telling Jane he loves her -> Mike receives external support to encourage him to tell Jane he loves her -> Jane almost dies/ is on her deathbed -> Mike tells Jane he loves her -> Jane does not find comfort in Mike's words -> Jane loses her fight (Max dies, Hawkins is split open) -> Mike and Jane do not talk for a while/ break up -> Jane is training to defeat Vecna -> Mike is living his normal life -> Mike and Jane talk about their future -> Jane says Mike cannot write the ending (does not support his interests) -> Mike is thinking idealistically about his future with Jane and the rest of the party -> Jane commits suicide -> Jane tells Mike she loves him -> Mike does not say it back -> Mike writes Jane's ending for her
???
This was the plot we got. The girl who was abused her whole life in a lab does not find true love and dies to have her story retold by her (ex?) boyfriend.
Seriously?? We couldn't do any better? Even as a Byler shipper, you could've put some effort into your "main" couple.
The natural progression of their plot could've been:
Mike meets Eleven -> Mike helps Eleven -> Mike looks after and cares for El -> Mike kisses El -> Mike loses El -> Mike and Jane meet again after a long time -> Mike and Jane start dating -> Mike lies to Jane -> Mike and Jane have a fight and break up -> Mike doesn't understand what he has done wrong and doesn't apologise -> Jane kisses Mike -> Jane leaves town -> Mike and Jane are dating again -> Jane is lying to Mike -> Jane has a fight with Mike -> Jane asks Mike to tell her he loves her -> Mike refuses -> Jane leaves -> Mike regrets not telling Jane he loves her -> Mike receives external support to encourage him to tell Jane he loves her -> Jane almost dies/ is on her deathbed -> Mike tells Jane he loves her -> Jane does not find comfort in Mike's words -> Jane loses her fight (Max dies, Hawkins is split open) -> Mike and Jane do not talk for a while/ break up -> Jane is training to defeat Vecna -> Mike is living his normal life -> Mike and Jane talk about their future -> Mike apologises for how he's treated Jane -> Jane apologises for lying to Mike -> Mike tries to understand her and make the relationship work -> Jane tells Mike he is her good friend but she needs to focus on training and stopping Vecna -> Mike understand Jane -> They break up but agree to be friends because they understand each other better as friends
Or it could even be: Mike and Jane talk about their future -> Mike apologises for how he's treated Jane -> Jane apologises for lying to Mike -> They agree to stop lying to each other and be honest -> Mike tells Jane he loves her -> Jane is about to commit suicide -> Mike convinces Jane not to -> Mike tells Jane he loves her -> It works -> They live happily ever after
See how easy that was? In less than 10 minutes I came up with 2 ways Mileven could've had a satisfactory conclusion.
It is not that hard to make a satisfying conclusion to a plot. Sure, there will always be some plot holes but your main plot shouldn't have any plot holes.
"50%."
Let's talk about Byler. Specifically the romance tropes used with Byler. A post by @miwiheroes here talks about the romance tropes used with Byler in detail, feel free to check it out, it's really good <3 I'll be referring to it here, as well as this which is a link to the Stranger Things shipping wiki (which I don't think is canon and is made by fans so please take this with a grain of salt).
Playing Cyrano
First Girl Wins
Interruptions (x4)
A Couple With Emotional Wounds
A Shared Suffering
Childhood Friends
Childhood Friend Romance
Devoted to You
Fan-Preferred Couple
First Friend
Friends to Lovers
Held Gaze
Homoerotic Subtext
Hurt Comfort
I Want My Beloved to Be Happy
I Will Find You
Incompatible Orientation
Longing Look
No Romantic Resolution
Oblivious to Love
One Head Taller
Ship Tease
Sibling Triangle
True Companions
Unbroken Vigil
Undying Loyalty
Unrequited Love
You Are Better Than You Think You Are
You Are Not Alone
29 tropes. 29 romantic tropes used in the context of Byler. Not 1, not 5, not even 10, 29 TROPES, THAT'S ALMOST 30 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
"The only way to get all the answers wrong is to know which answers are right."
The only way to create a real-life honest to God trash excuse of a season is to know how to make the best season of television ever and choose to pick all the bad (wrong) options (answers).
Okay, let's do this one more time.
Just so we know: S1, S2, S3, S4, S5
Will and Mike are childhood best friends -> Will cannot lie to Mike about his dice roll -> Will goes missing -> Mike is distraught -> Mike is paralleled to Will's mother -> Mike is able to recognise Will's breathing -> Mike insists Will is alive -> Will comes back -> Mike treats Will like an equal -> Mike makes Will feel safe -> Will tells Mike about his 'now-memories' -> Mike is able to pull Will out of his episodes with his voice (the arcade) & touch (Halloween) -> Will gets possessed -> Mike refuses to leave Will's side for days -> Mike stays With Will in the hospital -> Will only remembers his mother and Mike -> Mike is able to pull Will out of his possession with his voice -> Will is able to communicate with the party using Morse code -> Will is able to make a plan to save the party from the Mindflayer -> Mike makes a plan to save Will from the Mindflayer -> Mike saves Will from the Mindflayer -> Mike is sidelining Will for his relationship -> Will and Mike's relationship is strained -> Mike and Will have a fight -> Will gets upset and leaves -> Mike begs him not to leave -> Will goes to his safe space -> Will destroys his safe space -> Mike bikes over in the rain to apologise to Will -> He finds Will with his safe space destroyed -> Mike focuses less on his relationship and focuses more on his friendships -> Will leaves town -> Mike and Will don't talk consistently for 185 days -> Mike doesn't greet Will properly when he comes to visit -> Mike goes on a date with his girlfriend -> Will doesn't talk much -> Mike tells Will he 'sabotaged the whole day' -> Mike is upset because Will is upset -> Will calls Mike out on his behaviour -> Mike is defensive -> Mike pauses the conversation for later -> Mike has a fight with his girlfriend -> Mike approaches Will -> Mike apologises for his behaviour -> Mike has a heartfelt conversation with Will -> Mike and Will's friendship is stronger -> Mike and Will are interrupted -> Mike and Will have another heartfelt conversation -> They are interrupted again -> Mike confides his insecurities about his relationship to Will -> Will encourages Mike to tell her he loves her -> Will uses his own feelings to encourage Mike -> Mike is able to say 'I love you' to his girlfriend -> Mike's relationship worsens -> Mike and his girlfriend are not on speaking terms -> Mike and Will have a heartfelt conversation -> They are interrupted again -> They stand out on the field together (with the other couples) -> Mike and Will live together -> Mike pulls Will out of one of his early episodes -> Mike is concerned about Will -> Will asks what the signals for flirting are -> Will tries to flirt with Mike -> Mike doesn't reciprocate -> Will is disheartened -> Will is shown traumatic flashbacks -> Mike is in danger -> Will remembers memories of Mike and his family -> Will gains powers to save Mike's life -> Mike is ecstatic -> Mike yaps to everyone about Will's powers -> Will uses his powers again -> Will goes into a coma -> Will is tormented by visions -> Will wakes up -> Will comes out to everyone -> Mike is hopeful -> Will says he has gotten over Mike -> Mike is sad -> Mike apologises to Will for not being their for him -> Will says it isn't his fault -> Will fights Vecna -> Mike leaves Will to fight the Mindflayer -> They win -> Mike mourns his dead girlfriend for 5 minutes -> Mike imagines a future for Will where he meets a guy -> the end
Guys please tell me you see what I'm trying to say 😭 because I don't want to try and come up with 1726373637299272829 ways they could've closed the Byler storyline satisfactorily.
The Duffers knew the only way to make sure nobody ever half-asses queer representation in mainstream media ever again is to pick all the wrong answers and then reveal they had the mark scheme the whole time.
"The only way to get all the answers wrong is to know which answers are right."
All the answers wrong = Mileven
Know which answers are right = Byler
The only way to make Stranger Things end so badly is by picking all the wrong answers (choosing to ignore Byler and romanticise Mileven) and the only way they were able to do that was because they knew all the right answers (Byler).
I wanna call this Spidermangate because why not <33
Spidermangate <33
Anyways this took too long to type and I had a jumpscare where I thought I didn't save this whole thing and almost had a heart attack <33
A special shout out to my boy Mike Wheeler 💛💙 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY POOKIE ILYSM AND I'M SO HAPPY YOU'VE BEEN WITH WILL FOR SO LONG AND I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY AND OUT OF THE CLOSET AND LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE WITH WILL 🎉🎉🎉 💛💙
Just a reminder that this is all for fun, so please don't take this too seriously 💛💙
Peace out 🫰
