#spidey lad

[flowersofparkner]

*pre-reveal*

Peter: my spidey senses are tingling

Harley: or maybe it’s the coke you did in the Bank of America bathroom

Harley: jk but you were in there for a sus amount of time

Peter: *thinking about the mugger that stabbed him 20 mins ago* haha yeah it was coke

[forgetful-nerd]

Operator: 911, what’s your emergency?

Peter: hi yes. There’s some guy impersonating a police officer outside my house. He’s threatening to put me in hand cuffs.

Operator: sir-

Peter: Oh great he’s getting desperate. He’s taking his gun out.....

Operator: Sir-

Peter: he’s licking it..... oh god now he’s hip thrusting on my door!!!

Operator: SIR!!!! For the last time you cannot call 911 EVERYTIME your husband embarrass you!

Peter: please.....please just come pick him up....I don’t want people to know I know him.

[flowersofparkner]

parkner headcannon #5

+ so basically harley is kicked out of his house once he comes out as gay

+ but he doesn’t tell peter right

+ doesn’t want his spider-boy to have anymore worries than he already does

+ because harley is like that

+ but he realizes his mom is for some reason still paying his phone bill

+ so he always finds a white wall to sit in front of with his headphones, makes sure peter can’t tell he’s not at home

+ he slowly, very slowly makes his way north because it’s nearing the school year and he knows he can’t stay in rose hill, he’s sure his mother spread the word

+ so he panics

+ and his first thought is peter, and tony

+ so peter facetimes him after school one day, as per usual

+ but harley is in his fucking apartment with may

+ so peter is calling him as he opens the door and he hears some weird ringtone coming from inside

+ and then he hears may quietly comforting someone, and a familiar southern drawl answers

+ and that’s how harley keener ends up in nyc

[flowersofparkner]

parkner headcannon #4

+ Harley is tall, right

+ and Peter is only like, 4 or 5 inches shorter (idk)

+ and idk maybe Peter is like,, absolutely in l o v e with like, kinder beunos (I sure am)

+ and maybe Harley keeps putting them on the top shelf and eating them in front of Peter

+ maybe Peter climbs Harley like a jungle gym and just sits on his shoulders looking smug as hell