#spilled light

[effuderitlux]

[weektoweekpoetry]

Could it be?

All green lights on the way to meet you

Feels like a sign and of course

That is literally what this is

I never trusted well when things

Seem easy but oh how I wish I could

I wish I might on every street light

For a simple something

[plasticgardenicons]

No Light to Read By

Sometimes to have suddenly awoken from a deep sleep as if the earth itself woke us because we could feel the agonizingly repetitive speed of it, always spinning. Tell me you still believe in science, I feel myself in a disseminated white state there may be no coming back from. I saw the devil in you outside Florence where we planned to spend the remaining years of our history playing with magnetic motors that moved small steel balls around in perfect orbit, or drawing stick figures between the stone walls of what is and what will never be, both unmovable, for sentences of all real lungs reveal themselves at night like the slight rustle of leaves, or an infant’s sigh, from the other language, the one we speak when we’re in between awake and asleep, that place where it’s not yet dark but there’s really no light to read by.

[effuderitlux]

idk i wanna be wiped clean of existence. i don’t want a gravestone or a birth certificate. in photos i don’t want a gap of where i was. when the teachers call register my name shouldn’t come to mind and when my brother is asked how many siblings he’ll have, he says two.

i wanna be wiped clean of existence. i don’t wanna have existed at all.

[effuderitlux]

life is scam bc wdym i have a headache on possibly my last saturday

[effuderitlux]

welcome !!

★ hi, i’m lux :D

★ this is my jirai/vent account !!

★ previously effuderit-lux, i got nerfed cause big T was jealous of my awesomeness ★ heads up for $h, 3d, you get the idea

★ dni if not a jiraiblr/$h3d acc

★ block don’t report

★ pro-recovery, i don’t encourage any $h etc.

★ the infamous runner of $hblr saturday memes !!

★ always up for making new friends and moots <3

[effuderitlux]

idk im really scared to talk to my apa even tho in the holidays so far there’s been a few instances where i really considered talking to her, im scared she’ll be disappointed and grossed out and disgusted by me, im not someone to be proud of and ive fucked up a lot and all i do is cause pain

it feels better to let her keep the perfect image of me

[effuderitlux]

why is the back of my sister’s squishy kinda,,,, mmmmm GOALS