#spilled prayer

[shepraises]

My heart is fickle, mold it to seek  Your will above all else.

a.k. | 8.5.2017

[charmmstone]

One Word Prayers Are All I Have

When we can't understand the shooting and thrashing evil, the fires in this world, I suppose we all watch quiet or brash, in our own ways. What is to be done but take sides? And isn't that what started it? I look to the left and the right. There is no easy solution. There must be a new answer. Something of the fabric of sober kindness. But evil uses our own compassion against us. Let in the refugee, and with them, a killer. Forgive the shooter, in doing so, submit to his power.  How can there be a world where children have no place to rest their heads at night besides a cold street, and at the same time birds drift through the balmy grey fall sky, at the same time folks gallavant around in their best clothes and laugh with friends, at the same time my dog Maggie flops happily about my neighborhood sidewalks, at the same time my students struggle to stay out of the streets at night, at the same time my husband watches his patient die on the table, at the same time new shiny apples fall off a tree over looking the blue ridge, at the same time evil so dark lurks in basements behind computer screens, weapons strapped on as natural as we put on clothes?

I find my prayers are more simple and urgent these days. More monosyllabic. God, Help Us. Please. Why Do We Kill? Are You Here? Show Me How To Love.

[talithasfaith]

Vendredi Noir

We do pray, yes we do. For when tragedy strikes in our lives unhinged from God, we learn to close our eyes and pray. The only right thing to do. Suddenly, we become little, so tiny in front of a magnificent unknown.

[talithasfaith]

Moments in the Sanctuary

During my quiet moments, I understood we are all made for one another. We live our lives intertwined as we dwell in this world we knew deeply can never be home. And as we close our eyes, we see not only ourselves but also people who made us. They who become part of our becoming. Them whom we owe a lot.

When I stood at the gate of the Sanctuary, I knew I have come along way. I felt lit. My soul was rejoicing to this little adventure and I could hardly contain such joy. I navigated myself around its vast surroundings as if I knew my way with perfect timing. At the ground, I see people scattered everywhere yet there was a certain rhythm to where they were going. Some were seating at the front of the beautiful Cathedral marvelled by its sight while others were chanting their prayers. Then there were those who came as devotees, tourists and adventurers. At the middle of the Sanctuary ground, stood the statue of Our Lady of Immaculate Conception. Her sight is not new to me yet to see her standing there facing the Cathedral adorned with beautiful blooms of roses that people offered to her honour, was a real marvel and wonder. I was humbled. Then I took a moment to pray but was quickly distracted by the overflowing faith of people around me. I felt my faith is tiny compared to theirs.  And as I look up, I see her face glowed with the sun over her head. I was blinded. 

   Then I took the steep path to the top of the hill where, I saw a tall wooden cross tucked in behind the twigs and branches. I wonder how many people know it was there. Then I realise, this resembles my little faith. Deeply, I know it is my treasured gift but every now and then I tend to forget. 

   Inside the Cathedral, which consisted of different levels, I poured out all my thoughts and prayers. Every lit candle, every moment of prayer for every grace I was blessed upon for the past twenty nine years of my life. For all the failures, mistakes, achievements and successes. All of which that made me who and what I am now —  on my knees, praying. Grateful.

   And for all the people whom I encountered, be by the brush moment of acquaintance to lasting bonds and ties of families and friendships. To those who seek refuge and healing and those who seek prayers and intentions. To all of them. 

I prayed and pause.. and I prayed again and again.

[talithasfaith]

Lightly, my child

never think alone.  

for the pursuit you desire 

will fail you.

the search for truth 

never comes by thinking alone

it is always accompanied by kindness.

[talithasfaith]

my mind's clouded, i cant see. Oh God, please turn on the light.

please be with me.