May 2
a pattern of deep cleaning my room, taking the trash and impurity from under my bed, and promising myself i will never let it get this bad again.
but i get messy again i leave clothes on the ground, forget to feed my fish and let dust collect on his bowl.
i sit on clothes and practice things i might say to you at 2am a few months from now, and think about the memories we could've formed if it wasn't for me.
i recite old memories verbatim and write words on scraps of my old physics notebook that i later discard.