Unwrapping Supervillain (The story is literally the title)
Warning : mildly suggestive! But in a funny way
Hero opened the bedroom door with her hair damp, lotion on her hands, and the soft serenity of a woman who thought she was about to climb into bed and cuddle her world-dominating-tree-loving-corporate building-destroyer husband. Or what people commonly call as, Supervillain.
She took one step in. Stopped. Froze. Her soul left her body in real time.
Because on the bed was Supervillain...Naked.
Not shirtless.
Not towel around the waist.
Not oops I forgot to button my pants.
No.
FULL GREEK-GOD N U D I T Y.
Except-
EXCEPT-
He had wrapped himself in an enormous, festive, aggressively sparkly white red green Christmas ribbon, tied low across his hips like the world’s most erotic tree skirt. A big bow sat right over his groin. Like he was an expensive gift. A dangerous one. A rated-R nightmare for Santa.
Hero made a noise that was NOT human, “WHAT IS THIS- WHAT ARE YOU- HUH???”
He spread his hands slowly, presenting himself like a masterpiece in a museum, “Merry Christmas, love.”
Hero's brain actually rebooted, “this is a CRIME- THAT’S A CRIME! YOU CAN'T- YOU CAN’T BE A PRESENT!”
Supervillain smirked, leaning back on his elbows, ribbon shimmering across his hips. “You said you wanted something romantic but not too romantic.”
“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT" she squeaked, voice several octaves higher. “WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE RIBBON-"
“Henchmen helped me tie it.”
Hero slapped a hand over her mouth. She was going to pass out. Actually pass out. “You let HENCHMEN HELP WITH THAT!?”
Supervillain tilted his head, amused, “He said the symmetry was important.”
“HE SAW- HE SAW YOUR-” she waved vaguely at the entire lower half of his body, “YOU KNOW THE-"
“He said,” Supervillain continued calmly, “and I quote, your wife will like this very much.”
Hero wanted to die. Or ascend. Or combust. Preferably all three. She backed into the wall like he was a predator (which was accurate). “Supervillain," she whispered, mortified. “you are literally- I can’t- this is illegal! YOU LOOK LIKE A PORN VERSION OF A GIFT BASKET.”
He stood. The ribbon slid slightly.
Hero choked, “Don't move- DON’T YOU DARE MOVE-”
Supervillain stepped closer. Ribbon glinting. Abs on full display. His voice dropped to a low, molten purr, “You’re supposed to unwrap me.”
Hero's brain short-circuited so violently she actually slid down the wall. “I don’t- my hands- my brain- shut up- stop talking- stop- STOP-”
He crouched in front of her, one hand braced beside her head, the other taking her trembling fingers and placing them on the bow, “Hero.”
She swallowed, “Mm?”
“Open your present.”
She stared at him. At the ribbon. At the bow. At the man giving her THIS LEVEL of holiday chaos. “…I hate you,” she whispered.
“No you don’t.”
“Okay no I don’t but WHAT IS THIS-”
“Your gift.”
“What kind of gift-”
Supervillain smiled with the slow burn of a man who knew exactly what he was doing. “The kind you can’t return.”
Hero inhaled sharply. And...she pulled the bow. The ribbon loosened. Slid. Dropped.
Hero screamed internally.
Supervillain smirked darkly.
“…Surprise.”