ohhhhh this is how it feels to be insane. make castiel fall. make him miss being a god. he misses being a deity. he misses the carnage and the blood and having a Father to believe in. make him crave the power of being invulnerable. make him eat the sky. make him impossibly hungry. he needs to be something else entirely. he'll always try to fit in a mould and leave the mould changed forever: it will no longer resemble itself. he will attempt communing with machines and wires. he wants to be a human and he wants to be an angel and he wants none of that. he wants connection and he'll die before he lays himself bare. he wants to be something untouched and he wants to be smaller than anything ever. he is light incarnate and he boils his wings and rips into them with teeth. he misses dreaming but he hates sleeping. he hates being vulnerable but he wants it more than anything. he wants to fuck the computer and he wants to reassemble a cat. he wants to die a hundred more times so he can remember that feeling forever: a dying star, a supernova made greater than itself. above all; he wants more than he can have. and he'll try to fill that gaping chasm within through any means possible.
