#spok3

[sonarsystem]

I will not make this into a comic. I don’t think I can draw how it feels.

im like a dog.

I’ve been trained in a way I cannot forget.

I’ve been trained to bark at what is better than me, what I envy

I’ve learned to bite when I’m scared, when I want to run

I’ve been taught to keep fighting until I have the last word

because if I dont

if I don’t…

i..don’t know what would happen..

but

my gut says it’s not good

I am a dog

so I bark and bite and gnash my teeth

I claw and fight and lick my teeth clean

i am a dog

im too loyal

I was too loyal

now I’m scared to get attached

and when I do

im too much

I am a dog

I whine and whimper at the first sign of someone fighting back

I ignore my mistakes

I am a bad dog

[sonarsystem]

it’s odd how we want to be a smaller system for several reasons, but when we look at all of us, if even one of us was gone, we wouldn’t function.

[sonarsystem]

new side blog @spok3ishere

it’s mine

most of my vents will prolly go there from now on

[sonarsystem]

wow I forgot I can spiral

[sonarsystem]

hmm 🤔🤔 i could make a comic on being a persecutor or ☝️ doomscroll

[sonarsystem]

i want my own blog hmm

[sonarsystem]

tw: vague mention of SH

Random wise words from a fragment while we cut our hair??

Parts pictured from left to right, top to bottom: a small spoke, purple, blue (first frame) small purple, small blue, spoke (second frame)

transcript under cut

Blue: y’know, last time we cut our hair we were going through shit too

Purple: ok and?

B: maybe it’s a coping mechanism

P: but why?

B: idk :p

second frame

Spoke: maybe it’s a way of “harming” (bad haircut) the body without the fear that Mother will freak out and push us into more therapy. Plus in the past we’ve found other impulsive actions involving scissors a way of “fixing” something. Such as when we cut that dress in pre-k or those pants in 7th. Our hair is also one of the few things we have control over.

[sonarsystem]

i love spam posting our blog

anyways

this combo is so weird

outside is like the energy and expression of light blue but inside is the energy of spoke

it lowk makes me feel like im larping as spoke bro 😭🙏🥀