Aug 28, 2019
I don't know what it is, but working at a pub has made me hate men with more of a fiery passion than ever before
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I don't know what it is, but working at a pub has made me hate men with more of a fiery passion than ever before
Okay, first of all, happy Pride Month to each and every one of you! We're still fuckin' here, bitches. Sooo... In the spirit of Pride, I have a... Thing to say. I think I'm nonbinary. But not totally. Is genderfluid nonbinary a thing? I dunno. Okay so let me explain. I'm okay with people calling me She/Her, but I don't like it ALL of the time. Sometimes I'd rather be called They/Them. But sometimes I'm They/Them leaning towards feminine, and other times I'm leaning more towards masculine. I actually wouldn't mind it if someone called me He/Him, it's just not preferred. I haven't told this to anybody, because I'm kinda afraid they'll think I'm taking it, or that it's a phase. Or, worse, I go around telling people, and it IS some phase. Ugh. But... It feels very right to call myself They/Them. Like, sometimes I just feel so out of touch with my female body and want to be something more masculine, or just nothing at all. Well, anyway, I'm gonna try out these pronouns on the internet before I come out with them, just to see if I truly identify with it. Though, one person that I know in real life follows this blog so, uh... Surprise? Anyway. Y'all can keep calling me Spooks, since that's a pretty gender literal name to begin with. But, officially, I think I'm going to start going by Kai on days I start to feel disphoric or... Whatever I'm feeling. I'm sorry this is damn long, but that's why I got this Tumblr in the first place. So, have a wonderful week, and an absolutely amaze-balls Pride! -Spooks/Kai
Lol, idk if my body want to go into a depression hibernation or continue to self destruct and stay awake another night 😌😌
It truly is sad boy hours right now.
I'm just... Really sad. For the past month. For no reason. I really want to give up every day. I have absolutely no one to talk to. All my friends have left, or I did something stupid and they dropped me.
I'm utterly alone.
I went to the mall today and got some Starbucks, and I felt good for a bit. But then I sank right back into the sadness.
I had a total breakdown too. Completely tore up my room and all my paintings and art in a frenzy of rage and... Idk. I broke the Winnie the Pooh clock my dad gave me when I was a baby and ripped up the only picture I had of the only 'mother figure' I've ever known.
And I can't bring myself to care.
About anything.