PULLED A FIC OUT OF MY ASS!!!
I was inspired by a prompt by @silly-feeling about ticklish monsters (Hope you don't mind). I wrote a little something about the vampire one, that tries to bite its victims but gets tickled instead. 🧛🧛🦇🦇
Btw I headcanon that the vampire's laugh is similar to Astarion's when he finds the amulet.
Like this 👆
This is a gn!reader fic, with ler!reader and lee!vampire.
Words: 1.399
You were running. You've been running for what felt like hours, not daring to look back.
Somehow you managed not to trip over any log or fall into any holes while you were desperately escaping from that place.
The only light guiding your way came from the moon and the occasional thunder splitting the night sky while the rain was dampening your clothes and making your hair attach to your forehead.
You stopped for a second to catch your breath, laying against a tree and daring to look back: the building was far but its lights were still visible, flickering and pumping, like a beating heart.
You started walking, not really sure what to do: the nearest village was hours away and you didn't want to reach the main road, in fear you could be spotted…from him.
It was becoming increasingly harder to see where you were going, the water pouring against your figure, making you shiver, the harsh cold seeping into your bones.
It seemed though that your lucky star shined over you this one time, revealing an ancient gazebo hidden in all the vegetation.
You made your way there, shaking at every step, before sitting down on the frozen, stone floor.
That night was not supposed to end up like this.
You just wanted to do something fun: exploring an abandoned building which legends said was haunted by ghosts. That was the plan.
No one, ever, told you that it was the house of an ancient, hungry vampire.
You found him, or rather he found you, wandering the halls of the second floor. Luckily some survivor's instinct kicked in as you fled the house as fast as you could.
So there you were: a cold, shivering, terrified mess, laying on the floor of an old gazebo waiting, praying that the rain was about to stop.
After probably an hour you must have dozed off because when you woke up the rain had stopped and your clothes from being completely drenched were just wet. The cold was still the same.
You stayed in that position for a little longer, observing the path you walked before: it seemed that nothing arrived, nothing was chasing you. You let out a long, exhausted breath as you stood up.
“Were you going somewhere?” A voice asked…right behind you.
You could have sworn that your heart stopped beating for at least a second, as your eyes went wide with fear. You turned around… And there it was: the vampire, staring right at you.
He was terrifying: his eyes looked white and milky, as if those were the only thing that could age. The rest looked impeccable, almost like a wax statue; it was impossible to see any pore, any imperfection on his face for how smooth his skin looked. His salt and pepper hair falling to the side of his face.
It was impossible to tell how old he was: 30? 50? 700??? Who could tell? All you were thinking about were the extremely sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth, that looked particularly uncomfortable.
You backed against the low wall of the gazebo, and there you slowly sunk to the floor: anything to evade those dead, empty eyes.
He didn't approach you immediately. He knew you weren't going anywhere. He took his sweet time.
He grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and yanked you towards him.
“Stay still.” was all he said, as he slowly opened his mouth and started to lower his head towards your neck.
And then, you panicked: you started screaming at the top of your lungs, so loudly that even he seemed surprised, before starting to trash wildly in his grip trying to push and slap him off.
“Woah, hey! Calm down, I told you to stay-” he had the audacity to tell you to calm down. That phrase only caused the opposite reaction: you went even more apeshit, kicking your legs in the air, pushing and grabbing even more, even you weren't sure what you were doing.
“Why do you all exaggerate so much!” He complained -complained- while trying to get to your neck. And then one of your attacks finally landed, although not in the way you expected: when noticing that by pushing his shoulders nothing happened, you started to push under his arms where his ribs would be, and grabbing there.
To your surprise, all he did was to instantly drop you and glue his arms to his middle, drawing out a sharp breath.
After a moment of confused silence you blurted:
“...Are you ticklish?!?” out of impulse, for how flabbergasted you were! It sounded insane to even think that! And yet…an idea came to your mind: a dumb, ridiculous, completely crazy idea.
The creature in front of you seemed to recover from the shock, as it went back at you again.
“WAIT!” You shouted, raising your hands in front of you, this time not to protect, but to threaten.
“If you touch me again, I swear…I'll start tickling you!” That came out even dumber than it seemed.
But the vampire stopped in his steps.
“Are you threatening an immortal, powerful, dangerous soul, who is about to kill you and drink your blood…with tickles?” He sounded so confused, and for some reason you felt even more stupid.
“I- ye-yes, I am!” You tried to sound convincing, even wriggling your fingers a bit.
“I don't have time for this.” The creature said as it launched at you, grabbing you once again. But this time oh, this time you were prepared.
You didn't hesitate to start squeezing up and down the vampire's sides as fast as you could, praying that he was ticklish enough to not have the strength to bite you in this state.
“Wha-whahat hare you dohoin?!” He was actually laughing, and every time he opened his jaws to try and take a bite of you, he fell all over again into bits of giggles.
“I’m… I'm tickling you…” You sounded incredulous even at your own words.
If you weren't on the brink of death and literally tickling someone for your life, you could see the hilarity of the situation.
As you witnessed the being in front of you being reduced to a giggly mess, your hands mindlessly traveled from his sides to his hips, and you wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for his reaction: he positively howled, throwing his head back, his fangs completely visible now, but you had to admit, when he was laughing himself silly…they weren't as scary.
“I thought werewolves howled…” you instinctively said.
“SHUHUT HUHUHYHP!! SEIZE-SEHEIZE THIS AT ONES!!!” He was still grabbing at you, but it seemed that now he just needed support to lean on because of how violently his fits of laughter were becoming.
“Do you promise to let me go if I stop?” You hopefully asked, relenting a bit to give him the chance to answer.
“Absolutely not!”
“Suit yourself.” And you went at it back again, clawing at his belly, until an idea, a wicked idea came to your mind.
“Then maybe I should take a bite out of you instead.”
“W-WHAT??” He could barely understand what was going on as you grabbed his hair and pulled them back to reveal the pale flesh more, before you leaned over his neck and blew the longest, loudest raspberry you've ever done.
There is some form of satisfaction in seeing such a blood-thirsty creature scream from how much he was laughing.
“FINE FINE FIHIHINE!!! YOU WIHIN LET ME GOHO!”
Once you let him go he immediately put some distance between the two of you, his chest rising and falling as he gracefully draped across the floor, before looking at you with his milky eyes.
“That was…the most idiotic, foolish, stupidest thing that someone has ever tried when I was about to bite them…”
He studied you before nodding.
“....but also…impressive. You must have some guts to even try and touch a vampire. Let alone tickle him.”
Then he extended his right hand for a shake. And, for some reason, you grabbed it.
“Such a peculiar human. Not many of your kind these days. Maybe we'll meet again sometime.” He sounded hopeful.
“No offense, but I'd rather get run over by a car.” You politely replied.
“Understandable. See you around, human.” And, before swiftly disappearing into the night, he gave you one last fanged, amused smile.
---------------------------------------------------
The end
Silly little fic. It was fun to write it!
