Real talk time, y’all.
Since I’ve joined the spicy writing community on Tumblr, I’ve felt all the posts set an unrealistic expectation for what sex is. Which is okay! I’m guilty of it too! This community is kinda about fantasizing, and no one wants to fantasize about mediocre sex! Especially if that’s all you’re getting in real life.
But it’s not just the actual physical sex that is polished to look perfect. It’s the character’s too. If you scroll through certain tags, 9 times out of 10, the reader is a healthy, bikini model. Which is not realistic.
I have POTS, EDS, ME/CFS, CRPS, endometriosis, etc, and use a wheelchair full time. I have searched everywhere for content that includes people like me. Not even just smut, but fluff too! And… nothing. There is no representation for chronically ill and disabled people in our community, which is sad!
I mean, I get it. I really do. No one wants to fantasize about being sick. But nearly 60% of Americans live with at least one chronic condition, so I can’t be the only one looking for this stuff! I want posts where the reader is having a flare up and their partner takes care of them! I want posts where the reader and their partner have figured out how to make sex feel good for both of them! I want posts with fainting spells, and low blood sugars, and migraines! I want to feel included in this community. If you dig far enough, there are some posts about diabetic readers, which is amazing, but not nearly enough!
So what can we do about it, as chronically ill writers and readers? We start writing. We start requesting the representation we crave. We start expecting more representation instead of just sighing and scrolling to the next post about healthy Barbie screwing Ken (no shade towards Barbie, but…)
Now, I’m by no means saying we should start sexualizing being chronically ill, or having a disability, but there’s a difference between sexualizing something and validating/representing it with our writing.
For all of these reasons, I’m going to start writing smut and fluff with chronically ill characters. I want to make others feel good and valid with what I write.
I’m having a really bad flare up right now, so it may be a while before I post the content I’m talking about, but it’s coming luvs. Y’all keep being amazing and remember you are enough exactly the way you are 😘❤️
Disclaimer: the brain fog was real when I wrote this, so I apologize for any grammatical errors or whatnot