Decided to upload the beginning of my Ladybug is Spider-man AU. a silly idea which turned way more elaborate than originally intended. Might do a whole series.
This is the end of Au Yea August, it’s been a blast. I’ve written a little over 80.000 words for this event which is SO wild, never written even close to that amount before. It’s been a little stressful but a lot of fun. I’m sad I missed about 10 days but still, awesome stuff.
”30 bucks” Gabriel Agreste stated coldly, reviewing the images on his desk.
“30!? But the ad said 100 for each!” Marinette protested, the photographs she’d taken were good, dynamic and perfectly framed, she couldn’t imagine what was wrong with them.
The serious looking man sighed deeply, lighting a cigarette slowly and looking up at Marinette from his chair.
“Maria was it?”
“Marinette sir”
He waved his hand in a ‘whatever’ motion. “Marinette, if I ask for pictures of Brad Pitt do you know what I want?” he asked coldly, pausing to inhale a breath of smoke, Marinette didn’t answer, figuring he was going to tell her regardless, which he did “I’m not looking for him smiling for a photographer with his wife, if I wanted that I would just take it from his Instagram. No, what I want Marinette…” the way he said her name was condescending and harsh. The blue-haired photographer wished she could look away from his stern, iron gaze, but he held her eyes with his. His cold stare threatening her to even dare look away from him. “- are pictures of him leaving the house of one of his seven mistresses at 4 in the morning; at a party with a nose full of cocaine; having sex with a sandwich.” Marinette almost smiled at the last line, but Agreste’s expression let her know he was dead serious.
He placed a hand on one of the pictures Marinette was proudest of, perfectly posed in mid yo-yo swing, he slid it forward towards her “I do not want pictures because I want to admire her costume choices. I need pictures because I need stories. Ladybug helping an old lady over the streets might make a nice fluff piece in the community papers, but here at the Daily Bugle, we expose the truth, our readers expect us to shine a light at the news and expose the naked, sinful facts.”
Marinette felt her blood freezing as Agreste took another drag of his cigarette without ever breaking eye contact. She felt exposed, fearing that his glaring eyes could somehow see through her clothes at the red, dotted costume hiding just under her wrinkled suit. She’d faced several villains since she first jumped in spandex, but she’d rather face an army of superhuman lizard people than have to even think about what would happen if this man was somehow able to figure out her identity.
“But… what if there are no… sinful facts sir? Maybe she really is just a hero?” she half smiled at the unamused man in front of her.
Gabriel sighed deeply, putting out his cigarette “heroes don’t wear masks. There’s only one reason to hide yourself from the world, because you have something to hide. Even if Ladybug actually believes she’s a hero, she’s still inspiring any unstable person in New York to jump in their mom’s stockings and hit the streets with their father’s gun. If she really wanted to help she would join the police or stay out of it and leave it to the professionals.”
Marinette could feel herself shaking, she wanted to tell him off, to convince him how wrong he was. But if she tried to he might suspect something, it was already risky to start taking pictures of herself, she had to keep her identity secret no matter what. Agreste took out a notebook and started writing in it, breaking eye contact with Marinette for the first time since he looked up from her photos. It gave Marinette a chance to finally breathe, to find her confidence a little bit again.
“Maybe she has a reason!”
Agreste ripped the piece of paper out of his notebook and collected all but three of the pictures, then gave that to Marinette.
“Show this to Alya outside, she’ll pay you.”
Marinette took the things handed to her instinctually, she needed more money than this measly hand-out, but at least it was a start. She boiled with the need to tell the smug bastard off but she decided to swallow her pride and walk away like an adult.
“Oh and one last thing. Don’t meet your heroes. They will always disappoint you.”
Marinette closed the door to the office behind her then sighed heavily, she felt like she’d aged 5 years in the short conversation with the ruthless editor in chief.
She unwrapped a hard candy and popped it in her mouth, the sweet treat filling her mouth with strawberry and mellowing out her body. She’d always had a sweet tooth, but after she became Ladybug sweets had become like an addiction, she could influence her mood with candy, she could even get drunk off of it. She told herself not to overdo it, but it was hard to actually live by.
“First time meeting Gabriel?” a friendly amused voice rang out from next to her, Marinette hadn’t even noticed someone sitting so close to the office. The voice belonged to a brown and red-haired woman, she wore large glasses which framed her face, a dark brown lipstick to match her beautiful dark skin. She wore a women’s business suit and her long hair was partially braided, running back into a bun.
She looked like the type of woman who spends 3 hours getting ready for her shift at 6 am, the kind of woman who had her things in order. Meanwhile, Marinette spend her nights patrolling the city, slept until noon, threw on a t-shirt and pants and maybe remembered to brush her hair before putting it in the pigtails she’d worn since grade 4.
“uh, yea… he’s a little intense” Marinette smiled back at her.
“Don’t let him get you down if he bought your pictures that means he loves them, though he’d never admit it. Here, let me take care of it” she reached a handout and received Agreste’s note, reading it over quickly.
“Sheesh, you’re gonna have to take a lot more photos if you wanna afford that Lamborghini.” She smiled up at Marinette, handing her three ten dollar bills.
Marinette half smiled as she received the money, thanking the woman and turned to walk away dejected, knowing she wouldn’t be able to pay rent this month either.
“Hold on there girl, let me see your pictures” the wonder woman of the business world called her back. Marinette tried putting on a brave face as she faced her. She handed her pictures down to the woman who began inspecting them professionally. Looking at the workplace beauty Marinette couldn’t help but compare their age, she definitely wasn’t older than Marinette, she might even be younger, and she looked like she had her entire life together. Maybe she’d spend less time eating radioactive ladybugs, but it wasn’t like Marinette’s life had been on the fast track before then.
“These are good! You’ve got a real way with framing. I’m Alya by the way” she extended her hand to Marinette who was all too happy to shake it and take the praise, it was nice hearing someone other than her parents complimenting her photography skills.
“How did you get these? Some of our reporters have been chasing that bug for weeks without getting a good shot like this!”
“oh uh… the trick is to let her come to you” Marinette chuckled awkwardly “I keep up with reports on where she currently is and try to guess which way she’ll leave, then sometimes I get lucky” Marinette knew someone would end up asking her about it, she was glad Agreste hadn’t been the one to do so, his intense stare would have made her forget the line she practiced at least twenty times in the mirror.
Alya whistled impressed “you’ve got a real sense for this!”
“according to Agreste a real sense for this would mean finding people f… having sex with… sandwiches” saying it out loud she felt so silly, how in the world could he have said something like that with a straight face, more importantly, how could she possibly have listened to it with a straight face!?
Alya burst out laughing “right that was a fun news week!”
“Wait! That actually happened!?” Marinette asked horrified.
“Oh Gods, no, but because of an editing mistake, two stories lay on top of one another in a way that made it read like that. Thankfully we caught it in time but we all use it sometimes, y’kno, workplace banter and such. Just glad no one was fired.” Alya smiled heartily at Marinette, giving her a sense that the wonder woman in front of her was actually really kind, she really was the whole package.
Alya tapped the pictures contemplatively “you need money right?”
“Of course but I’ll tell you now, butt-stuff is extra,” Marinette said jokingly making Alya laugh.
Alya got up and opened the door to Agreste’s office, Marinette swore she could feel a chill coming from inside the monsters den, she couldn’t believe Alya could just rip the door open without even knocking, wasn’t she afraid he’d eat her!?
“Hey Gabe, I’m taking pigtails to the gala, I need a good photographer k?” Gabe? The man sitting in that office could be called many things, but Gabe could not possibly be one of them.
To Marinette’s surprise, Gabriel walked over to stand in the door, taking in the two women.
She could feel his judging eyes sizing her up even more than before, an unhappy twinge at the corner of his lip. “It’s your call Alya. It might do you some good Marinette, to see what a real hero looks like. Though do wear something more appropriate, you’ll be there to record the news, not make them.”
Marinette wanted desperately to tell him off again, but she was painfully aware that she looked like a hobo that walked in off the streets; she didn’t have a leg to stand on.
“Yes, boss” Alya winked at him, making finger-guns playfully as he disappeared again into his office.
Alya smiled broadly at Marinette who could only chuckle back nervously.
Back at it after having missed two days, was really hoping to get the full month but still, very proud of what I’m making this month.
Day 18 .- Circus
This story features Myléne joining a circus run by the kind and generous Gabriel Agreste. What could go wrong?
”So Mylène, tell me about yourself” Gabriel Agreste’s friendly eyes met Mylène’s. He smiled at her in an inviting way, waiting patiently for the nervous girl to gather her thoughts.
Mylène’s hands kept fidgeting with her jacket’s buttons, the man had been so kind to her and now she suddenly felt really anxious about disappointing him.
She looked around at the strange and exotic plants standing in chemistry vials around on his desk and on shelves scattered around the large tent that he called his office. His black top hat sat resting as the only hat on a hat rag, a little worse for wear but only when you looked closely.
As Mylène’s eyes returned to the circus owner, she noticed that his patient friendly eyes were slowly growing impatient as she looked around scatterbrained. She gulped, trying to find the words to answer him.
“Well, I’m 15, no 16! Um… I was born November 1823, so I’m 16” she smiled sheepishly at the kind man who smiled back. She sighed “well as you can see I was born a midget and no matter what I’ve tried I haven’t been able to find anyone who would hire me or anyone who would marry me” Mylène sighed “my parents have always tried taking care of me and they were going to keep doing so, even as they could barely afford to take care of themselves.”
Mylène felt the tears starting to form in her eyes, remembering the pain in her mother’s eye which she’d tried to hide from her for her entire life. She tried hiding back her sobs as she spoke, “I’ve always been nothing but a burden to them and so I decided to run away and join a freak-show *sob* maybe I can survive without hurting anyone… is what I thought…”
Gabriel nodded sympathetically, handing her a handkerchief which she gladly took, blowing her nose. Gabriel waited for her sobbing to subside before warmly telling her “I don’t have a freak-show Mylène, I hire talented young folks from all walks of life. I’ve always felt immense love for people like you. You won’t be paraded around because of your short stature for people to laugh at, but I’m sure we can find a job for you, if you’re willing to work hard.” He placed a hand gently on her shoulder.
Mylène doubled over, her crying returning with double intensity at the kindest words she’d ever heard. She slid off from her seat to run around the table, jumping onto Gabriel and hugging him as tightly as she could. She felt his arms awkwardly closing around her, he was clearly not used to (nor entirely comfortable with) hugging, but Mylène didn’t care, she nuzzled herself against him, finding comfort in his warmth.
Gabriel allowed her to stay like that, softly patting her head as she cried. After a minute or so he began working by his desk while allowing Mylène to take the time she needed.
Mylène finished her bawling, feeling cleansed, feeling like she’d needed that for years and never realized. She looked up with glee at the man who gave her a nervous smile, clearly hoping she was done.
She jumped down from his lap, taking a cleansing breath, she felt like a new woman. “so what do I do now?”
Gabriel smiled “I’ll have someone show you to your new tent, a few other new faces have joined us and you’ll live with them until we figure out exactly what your job here will be. Until then simply make yourself useful, someone always needs an extra hand so just try to be available.”
Mylène nodded “I live to help! I’ll make you proud Mister Gabriel!”
“It’s Doctor actually. Doctor Agreste” he corrected her with a friendly tone. Mylène cocked her head surprised that he would name his show ‘Mr. Gabriel’s Ghoul’s and Ghosties’ if he preferred another name.
“If you don’t mind me asking, if you’re a real life doctor then why run a place like this?” she asked confounded.
He smiled, a hint of regret shining through his eyes “I was working on something really important. Something that would have changed the way we view sickness completely. My wife died from a mysterious illness and I wasn’t able to save her. Since then I’ve devoted my time and resources to figuring out how I could have saved her. However some fools decided that my research was dangerous!” flashes of anger struck like lightning through the kind man’s otherwise calm and friendly demeanor.
He sighed, tapping his finger against the table in frustration, “I was forced to leave my field and pursue different possibilities. Running this place helps give me the funds and freedom I need to continue my research.”
Agreste looked at a strange purple plant with an almost entirely black stem which sat on his desk. He seemed completely lost in thought, morose and a bit frustrated.
Mylène swallowed, sad that she’d put him in a bad mood after he’d helped her so much. She made a mental note of not talking about his past, but looking at him, he really was an amazing man.
She wanted to say something to cheer him up, maybe ask him what his favorite cake was and maybe bake it for him. She was interrupted by someone else entering the tent.
A woman who seemed a little older than Mylène, wearing a beautiful shining suit of metal armor which showed only her face, which was also painted in metallic colors. A strange symbol was painted in red on the front of her helmet. The most striking feature was the large sword she wielded, almost comically big and terrifyingly sharp.
The woman looked down at Mylène with a cold uncaring glare, Mylène swallowed, looking at the drawn weapon, wondering why she would carry such a thing around so openly, hoping she didn’t intend any ill will.
“Ah Riposte, good to see you” Agreste smiled from behind his desk. His friendly demeanor immediately melted away Mylène’s worries, the circus had all kinds of people after all.
Looking over the woman, Mylène couldn’t help but wonder what kind of performance the woman did, something to do with swords definitely. She was intrigued but knew she didn’t have the nerves to watch such death-defying performances, she couldn’t imagine the kind of steel it took to actually perform them.
Riposte walked up to Agreste, placing a small small jewelry box in his waiting hand. He nodded at it smiling. “Excellent work. Mylène here will be joining our family, please, show her around will you?” he said without looking up from the box.
Mylène watched as he opened up the stopper on one of his plant bottles, he smiled as he opened the small box. Mylène was ushered out of the tent by the woman before Mylène’s curious gaze could pick up what was hiding in the little container.
The woman practically dragged Mylène out of the tent with a stoic, unchanging expression. Mylène gave her an attempted smile but the woman just scowled down at her. Mylène didn’t let it bother her, whatever the others here could do to her, it couldn’t be worse than what she’d already been through. At least here she could find a way to belong.
“So, Riposte? How did you join the show?”
Riposte scowled down towards Mylène through the corner of her eye, walking at a brisk pace towards on end of the camp while Mylène half ran to follow.
The armored woman’s mouth twisted into a disgruntled line before she seemingly decided it was less trouble to simply answer. Her voice was hollow, metallic and cold “I was, and am, unmatched as a fencer. I have never lost a fight. All I ever wanted was to hone my skills and prove to the world that I am the best” Her eyes narrowed with determination and grit.
Mylène listened intently; amazed that such a woman could even exist.
“When my father told me to hang up my sword, get married, have children, I refused. He didn’t take it well.” She grit her teeth with anger “so I challenged him, bested him in his own art. It should have been enough, but they branded me a criminal!”
The silvered warrior looked at her sword with a sigh “the doctor promised me sanctuary, and a chance to dedicate myself fully to the blade.”
Mylène swallowed, she figured everyone here would be like her, but the woman’s story was so amazing. She must be one of the most talented people she’d ever met, and yet she wasn’t allowed to live her life the way she wanted. It was easy to forget that others had it hard too, even people who were born ‘normal’.
Mylène’s own fears welled up in her, “do you ever regret it? Coming here I mean”
Riposte shook her head “only in the beginning.”
Mylène smiled, assured that she too could get used to life here.
“Riposte… it’s a bit of a mouthful” Mylène chuckled “what’s your real na- AHH!” Mylène fell back in shock as the large silver blade struck down into the ground in front of her. She looked up with terror at the glaring eyes of the warrior.
“Never ask anyone here that!” she said with barely contained rage, slowly pulling the sword from the ground.
Mylène swallowed, seeing the deep crevice left after the sword. She tried finding words to say but it only turned into an incoherent stutter. She wanted to cry, to apologize for having offended her, but she couldn’t find the courage to speak.
Riposte looked down at her with a look of cold loathing that Mylène had never experienced before. The silver woman then turned and continued walking in the same direction as before. She took a few steps then looking over her shoulder towards Mylène, still on the ground, fighting back tears.
Mylène understood from the deadly look in Riposte’s eye that she meant for her to follow. The pint sized girl could barely muster the courage to get on her feet, but forced herself up. She followed Riposte through camp, sniffling and sobbing occasionally, trying to hold herself back from crying. Hoping to at least not make the silver swordswoman hate her more than she apparently already did.
They stopped in front of a fairly large matted yellow tent with red triangles adorning it. Riposte opened the entrance and stood, impatiently waiting for Mylène to enter. Mylène nodded nervously at the intimidating woman, entering into the tent.
The flap held open by the fencer fell behind Mylène and she heard the trudging of the metallic boots against the gravel, disappearing off somewhere else. Mylène sighed in relief but couldn’t help but feel a growing sadness that the woman seemed to dislike her, she’d never been good at people disliking her.
The small woman looked around the tent, old but comfortable looking pillows in various colors and sizes were spread out on the floor. Shelves held toys and various intriguing nick nacks, like colored balls, wooden horses and soldiers and a few pieces of jewelry.
Looking around she was shocked to find a young dark skinned man sitting patiently at the opposite end of the tent. Mylène stumbled over herself trying to make up for her rudeness of not checking if she was alone before looking around. “um I… HI! Mylène!” she blushed as the blurted out words sank into the room like the seeds of her awkwardness.
The man chuckled softly, giving her a warm and inviting smile “hi. Max” he mimicked with an amused look in his eyes. He looked to be around her age, maybe a bit older. He wore a nice green west which folded over itself with two buttons on the side, dark brown pants and a small glasses over his eyes. His hair was cut short, and his brown eyes seemed to shine with curious intelligence.
Mylène gave him a sheepish look, approaching him and sitting down on a large pillow which seemed to have at one time been pink, now a matted rosey gray. “hi” she repeated, clamping her hands nervously “I’m new” she shrugged, unsure what else to say.
Max nodded “me too. We just arrived today”
Mylène smiled relieved that she wasn’t the only new face in camp. Max seemed like a nice guy, that would make fitting in a lot easier. His words dawned on her “wait, we?”
Max nodded again “Kim and I came here together. He popped out to explore a bit, he should be back-“
“-Hey Max! Look what I found!” A brightly smiling man around Max’ age but almost twice his size burst into the tent holding a transparent orb, it looked too clear to be a glass orb, Mylène couldn’t guess quite what it was.
The man rushed over to Max, presenting the orb to him with enthusiastic, childish glee. He had dark semilong hair running down the side of his head. He wore a really nice red jacket over a black shirt, dirt covered the knees of his black, fancy pants. Mylène wondered what someone with such fine clothing was doing in a place like this.
Max corrected his glasses, looking over the orb “is this… a soap bubble?” he asked with an inquizical look.
Kim nodded with childish glee “there’s a bubble-guy here who says he can make soap bubbles that will NEVER break!” The man was practically jumping with excitement.
Max poked at the bubble, it reshaped itself under his finger, but didn’t break “fascinating, while certainly impossible that it’s unbreakable, this is definitely more resilient than I would have imagined a bubble could be. I wonder if he’ll let me study his formula” he smiled, taking the orb from Kim, pushing and touching the orb curiously with his hands.
Kim beamed “I knew you’d think it was cool! I can’t wait to see what other amazing things are around here”
Max nodded “I concur; coming here may go down as your best idea to date. But I’m being rude, Kim, this is Mylène, she too is new here.” Max motioned towards Mylène without looking away from the orb, continuing to experiment with its strange properties.
Kim looked at Mylène with surprise, he’d clearly been so caught up that he hadn’t noticed at all that someone else was there.
Kim plopped down next to Mylène with enough force to send a few pillows (and almost Mylène) flying. He smiled down to her, reaching a hand out and taking hers “I’m Kim! It’s nice to meet you!”
Mylène smiled back, feeling his huge hand enveloping hers. “Mylène” she introduced herself.
“You’re the smallest person I’ve ever seen!” he said fascinated “can I pick you up!?” his eyes shone with the same childlike glee as before. Mylène usually didn’t like being picked up, but then, most people didn’t ask, and most people didn’t have the warm and comforting energy of this guy. She gave him a soft smile and nodded, hoping he was gentler than his radiating energy let on.
While still sitting, Kim picked her up, placing her on his lap and nuzzled her like a teddy bear. “I swear you’re the second most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!” he hugged her comfortingly, allowing Mylène to sink into his warm arms and feel safe. She let herself hug Kim back, feeling whatever worry and discomfort from talking to Riposte disappear.
She sighed contently, hoping these hugs could become a regular thing, a small hint of a thought snuck into her brain despite her self-doubt, if maybe the sweet muscle-bound man would be willing to marry her. She shook the thought and locked it in her fantasy box.
“So what’s the most adorable thing you’ve seen?” she asked curiously, wondering if he already had a girl, but also just curious.
Kim smiled his beautiful boyish smile down at her “Max of course!”
Max sighed with a smile, sitting down next to them, still holding the orb. “you big softy” he chuckled “you’re too much.”
Kim shook his head “the whole point of coming here was that we wouldn’t have to hide, so expect lots more of that!” he boasted proudly.
Max smiled softly, a blush running over his face. He leaned in and kissed Kim lovingly.
Mylène was frozen in surprise, feeling like she should hide her face, as though she was seeing something wonderful and lewd that she shouldn’t. In spite of herself she simply could not look away, especially as Kim’s hand touched against Max’s collarbone, moving down his chest and to his hip, pulling him in closer in an act of intimate passion, the likes of which Mylène had never seen.
She could feel the two boys’ bodies against her as they continued their deep kissing. It was somehow heavenly.
The kiss ended and the two men sat back, their hands finding one another and intertwining softly between them. They seemed unable to look away from one another for a moment, entranced by the others stare.
Kim’s attention returned to Mylène after what felt like too brief of a moment. “so why’d you join the circus?” he asked as though nothing had happened.
Mylène stumbled over her words but managed to tell her story to the men who listened patiently. Or at least Kim did, Max’s focus seemed to constantly fall on the orb, finding new ways to poke and play with it.
Kim nodded sympathetically, “that’s so unfair! Just cause you’re short? Who wouldn’t wanna marry you!?” he said with a righteous frown. Mylène could hardly believe him, he was so wonderfully kind, she couldn’t believe that she’d heard that men who loved other men were wicked, how could they be if these two were amongst them.
“What about you?” she asked, half knowing the answer.
Kim smiled over at Max “well, it’s pretty taboo to fall in love with the help.” He sighed happily, looking at his love “but Max is like an actual genius! I convinced my parents to have him help me with my school work, which, admittedly meant that he ended up making most of it” Kim scratched at the back of his head sheepishly.
Max chuckled “if it weren’t for you lending me your textbooks I wouldn’t have been able to learn half of what I know, I’m incredibly thankful”
Kim nodded “and so we spend a bunch of time together, then we spend even more! And well… look at him! How could I not fall for him” he laughed without a hint of irony.
Mylène smiled, her heart filling with warmth for the sweet forbidden love story. “so did your parents find out?”
Kim shook his head “wasn’t about to wait for them to figure it out. My brother married an English woman and my parents practically disowned him, wasn’t about to tell them I planned to marry a black man. They just wouldn’t understand” he sighed deeply, Max placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.
Kim shrugged “still, no regrets! Now I’m a circusman and I’m going to train until I can be one of those strongmen! Until then Gabriel says I can help by carrying stuff, and Max will help with bookkeeping and other brainy stuff!”
Max corrected his glasses, barely able to hide the blush and his growing smile.
Kim pet Mylène’s head softly “can’t wait to meet everyone here properly, they all seem a bit busy but there are some amazing people and they all seem so nice!”
Max cocked a knowing eyebrow “everyone?”
Kim cleared his throat “well yea, sword-lady and I just got off on the wrong foot is all”
“Sword-lady? You mean Riposte?” Mylène asked
Kim nodded nervously “we didn’t exactly hit it off right away I guess. But I’m sure it’s just a matter of time”
“Did you ask too many questions too?” Mylène asked.
Kim shook his head “nah, it’s just that when she said she was the strongest sword fighter I had to put it to the test!” he smiled “turns out she’s pretty good, but I held my own!” he said with false pride. Mylène caught Max looking at her, shaking his head knowingly.
Mylène held back a snicker, imagining the boastful boy challenging the terrifying woman and promptly having his ass handed to him.
The three of them talked through the evening, laughing and quickly becoming friends. As Mylène laid down her head on the pillow to sleep she could barely contain her joy. She was so lucky to finally have found a place where she could belong.
Mylène spend the next morning carrying around boxes and sacks. She could barely keep up with the Reflecta twins. Two pink clad clowns who looked exactly the same. In spite of their relatively small frames the two of them seemed to be surprisingly strong.
The two of them moved in perfect symmetry, walking past one another to pick up a box and place it on the cart, the other always at the exact opposite side of the task as her sister.
Mylène couldn’t help but marvel at the amazing dedication and skill on display in their every action, she had to believe that their act was something to behold, she hoped to see it someday.
Looking around she marveled at everyone around her, practicing their skills or working, all of them wearing their costumes, no matter how uncomfortable they looked. She hoped that if she was expected to do the same, that her costume would be a little less exposing than the skin tight suits that most around her seemed to have.
Mylène climbed up some larger heavier boxes to grab one of the ones at the top which seemed light enough for her to manage. She found a shoebox sized wooden box, checking it’s weight and finding it was manageable.
As she took the box and was about to maneuver her way down the stack of boxes, the whole tower suddenly started moving under her feet. She gasped, clutching the wooden crate to her chest, afraid of breaking something precious on her first day.
She felt herself rise quickly and saw to her surprise that the tower of wooden crates she’d been standing on had been lifted, all 30 or so of them at once, including her!
She looked over the stack to see the lifter, her eyes going wild as she saw a man the size of a bear, who seemed to be made entirely out of stone! She gasped in surprise, which made the stone-man aware of her presence.
He looked up at her, equally surprised to see a small woman on his stack of boxes, he gasped audibly, almost dropping her and the whole stack.
Mylène wobbled on the stack, trying desperately to keep her balance but it was a lost cause. She found herself tumbling onto the ground, landing on her shoulder and hearing the distinct sound of glass inside the crate clattering around and shattering.
She got up quickly, looking mortified at the grate, that had definitely sounded bad. She bit her lip, slowly opening the crate, looking away as though seeing it would make it worse somehow. The lid slowly came off of the box and three beautiful white butterflies began fluttering out into their freedom.
Mylène watched them curiously for a moment, enchanted by the insects appearing from such a strange place. She realized too late that she was letting go circus animals, cute and tiny as they may be. She tried grabbing for them but it was much too late, they had already flown towards the sky.
Mylène sighed “bye bye pretty butterflies…” she looked up, unable to be entirely sad that the beautiful little creatures had managed to escape.
She felt a bump through the earth as the heavy stack of crates were placed down relatively gently next to her, she looked back at the stone man who looked down at her with a worried expression.
“Goodness I’m so sorry for spooking you! I didn’t mean to be in the way!” she told him.
The man was truly huge and his skin really didn’t look like a costume, he really was just made of stone! He was like taken out of a fairy tale. His eyes were painted with worry as he looked her over, wordlessly checking if she was hurt. Carefully touching her like she was a porcelain doll with his rough clumsy hands.
Mylène chuckled “I’m fine! Just got surprised is all. Seems I spooked you too, we’ll call it even alright?” she looked up after the butterflies “a shame those cute butterflies escaped though… I sure hope they weren’t important…”
The stone man looked at her with complete surprise, he swayed back and forth slightly.
Mylène looked at him curiously, unsure what he was thinking. She was growing certain that he couldn’t speak, which was a shame, she would have liked to have a less one sided conversation with him.
“Is something the matter?” she asked him in a friendly tone.
He hesitated, then began slowly dragging his large finger into the gravel. When he moved his finger she saw that he’d written a short message for her. She swallowed embarrassed “I’m sorry mister, I can’t read” she admitted, feeling childish and stupid.
He nodded slowly, rubbing his chin for a moment before erasing the message and dragging his finger once more. When he finished this time, Mylène saw that he’d made a simple drawing of stick figures screaming in terror in front of a drawing of himself.
Mylène looked up at him sympathetically “people are usually afraid of you? I understand that.” Mylène sighed deeply “people often don’t react too well to me neither. I’ve never seen or even heard of a man made of stone other than in stories, I don’t think it’s scary, I think it’s pretty amazing”
Mylène smiled up at him shrugging “when you’re a midget there’s no benefit, you’re just ugly and tiny for life… You get to be strong as an ox, and you’re handsome in your own way”
The stone man shook his head with an almost panicked look in his eyes, unwilling to believe that anyone could call him handsome. Mylène could easily read his expression since she knew it well from herself.
He began drawing again, this time making a little drawing of her with a shimmering aura around her like an angel.
“You’re saying I’m pretty?” she asked perplexed.
He nodded sternly.
She shook her head “no I’m not, and that’s ok, I’m at peace with it. Don’t have to be kind.”
He placed his large hand softly and carefully on her head, pointing insistently on the drawing and nodding.
Mylène chuckled “alright tell you what. I’ll try and believe that I’m pretty, if you do the same ok?”
The stone looked at her surprised, looking down thoughtfully for a moment, then smiling to her, nodding.
She smiled up at him “good then! You know, they say that having a heart of stone is a bad thing, but I think your stoneheart is the biggest heart I’ve seen in a long while. I hope to get to know you more”
The giant man smiled softly, nodding. Then his expression changed to a solemn, melancholy one. He looked around to make sure that no one was looking, finding the Reflecta twins already long gone and no one looking at them. He drew a moon on the ground and looked at her with a serious expression.
“Night?” she guessed.
He nodded. Mylène took a moment to appreciate her amazing guessing skills, and people had claimed she had no real talents, if they could only see her now! She chuckled to herself.
The man looked at her sternly and she took a moment to figure out what he meant “you want me to meet you tonight?”
He nodded again, he seemed worried and a bit sad.
Mylène swallowed, putting a soft hand over his enormous stone fist “alright, but no funny business until I’m married alright?” she said sternly, half jokingly.
The stoneman’s eyes went wide with embarrassment as he shook his hands in front of himself in a ‘it’s not like that!’ motion. She chuckled at him “tonight then” she smiled, grabbing one of the smaller boxes and walking off with it.
Later, Mylène found Max, sighing with a notebook in his hands. She smiled as she saw that he’d put the soap bubble somehow on his wrist using a band.
“What’s wrong Max?” she asked, approaching her new friend.
He shook his head “This place is terrible at keeping their books up to date! Many of the boxes are unlabeled and Doctor Agreste told me they sometimes lose stock of what’s in what crate. It’s gonna take ages to catalogue it all”
“Oh… that’s a shame” she felt a small sigh of relief, figuring maybe they wouldn’t notice the butterflies she let loose.
Max shrugged “it’s a challenge certainly, but honestly it means that they are in desperate need of my skills. Makes me feel like I have a place here, not just living off of charity” he smiled down at her, his smile quickly broken by Mylène’s sad expression. “What’s wrong?”
Mylène shrugged “what you said… You’re all so talented. I’m not sure I can do anything to help out!”
Max kneeled down sympathetically putting a hand on her shoulder “we’ll figure something out you can do! With my brilliance and Kim’s creativity we’ll have you working on a job that’s perfect for you in no time at all” he gave her a cheery smile.
Mylène wiped a tear from the corner of her eye “you really think so?”
Max winked at her “I know so! Back before I started tutoring Kim I felt the same way. I was supposed to help my parents but I’m terrible at cooking and cleaning and everything like that. I felt like a burden, but then we found the perfect thing for me and well… you know that it worked out perfectly.” He sighed dreamily “if you’re lucky we might even find you your very own Kim”
Mylène blushed smiling, her thoughts falling on the strange stone man, of course his build was truly strange, but she wondered if maybe it was possible anyway?
“You look like you’ve already met someone” he chuckled with a teasing smile.
Mylène shifted embarrassed “no way!” she softly pushed at his shoulder making him laugh.
Mylène remembered something she’d wanted to ask him. She never liked asking others for help, especially when she had nothing to give in return. She fidgeted with her hands, looking up at Kim with a shy look “say Max… I was wondering. Think you could teach me to read?”
Max smiled “the pursuit of knowledge eh? A noble endeavor no matter the reason. I’m sure you’ll be a better student than my previous one” he snickered.
“Kim was a bad student?”
“Well… not a bad student per se, but he did keep distracting his teacher with his beautiful auburn eyes” he winked.
“Kim!” Max yelled out over Mylène’s shoulder, waving at the approaching hunk of a man.
Mylène and Max both stared stunned at Kim as he approached wearing a red costume. Large black angelic wings with red stripes running through them. He wore a quiver on his back and held a black bow in his hand. His skintight suit showed his bulging muscles through the red and black fabric and his hair went up in a spike in the front. His costume had a large white broken heart at the front.
Be still my heart, he’s taken, Mylène thought to herself as he approached the two of them, smiling confidently. Mylène looked over at Max who seemed as spellbound as she was.
“So Kim” Max corrected his glasses with a smile, hiding his blush. “Archery then? That’s a good idea, I hadn’t even thought about using some of your gentleman’s sports for a performance. That’s a great idea”
Kim gave an uncharacteristically cold smile, “Call me Dark Cupid.”
Mylène and Max looked at one another with a confused look “well… alright then Dark Cupid? I’m glad you found a persona that would work for you” Max smiled encouraging, “but why Dark Cupid, you’re a lovely angel of love, what’s dark about you?”
The skinny man walked up to plant a kiss on his boyfriend, but was pushed back. He landed on the ground with a pained grunt, looking up with hurt eyes at the person he was willing to sacrifice anything for.
Dark Cupid looked down with cold eyes “everyone leaves you, they won’t be there when you need them most. I can’t save you Max, and you can’t save me.”
“Kim…” Max whispered, tears forming in his eyes.
“I’m Dark Cupid!” he snapped, anger roaring in his eyes, his wings swinging out into a broad circle behind him wildly as though they were real.
Dark Cupid looked down at Max’s crying eyes, sadness washed over his face for a moment but was replaced with a terribly pained expression as though he’d been stabbed. He doubled over, groaning in pain.
He gasped for breath, rising again with bloodshot eyes. “Your love for me will only cause you more pain. It would be better if you hated me…” He brought an arrow out from his quiver in a silent, practiced motion. The arrowhead was a black heart, whose point was deadly sharp.
Max looked with pain and fear up at the drawn bow. He stuttered, trying to find the words to convince Kim of his mistake, trying to prove to him how wrong he was, but the words were all trying to come out at once.
“Love is nothing but pain” Dark Cupid let the arrow fly, striking the ground where Max had been just a moment ago. Mylène was running, having grabbed Max by his shirt and pulled him with her. He’d swiftly stumbled to his feet, running after her, tears flowing from his eyes.
“Get back here!” Dark Cupid’s angry voice echoed out with anger and disdain behind them. They heard another arrow being let loose from the bow, but managed to dodge out of the way in between the tents.
Mylène and Max ducked behind cover, looking at one another with a mix of panic and horrible betrayal.
“What’s going on!?” Max cried out “Kim wouldn’t do this!”
Mylène nodded “I know! Something terrible must have happened!”
Max looked around, trying to piece things together “It’s the Doctor! It has to be!”
Mylène shook her head “it can’t be! He’s the kindest person I’ve met!”
Max grit his teeth at her “wake up! Clearly he did something terrible to Kim! To everyone here!”
Mylène couldn’t believe it, she refused to. She felt the tears welling up and the fear beginning to creep through her, paralyzing her.
“You know” the uncaring voice of the man who had been so kind the day before whispered, “if you’re going to try to hide, I’d recommend not yelling quite so much.”
The tent they’d been hiding behind was ripped away with inhuman strength by the monstrous angel, exposing Mylène and Max. The two of them trembled in each others arms. “Kim… please… don’t do this…” Max begged.
Kim knocked another arrow “sorry ‘honey’, Kim’s not here” he smiled wickedly, taking aim.
“yea well, Kagami is!” a woman’s voice called out behind Dark Cupid, making him turn with surprise. A slender blue haired woman dashed in behind him, a slender sharp blade striking out mercilessly.
Dark Cupid barely managed to dodge to the side, avoiding being cut in half by the powerful swing. “Why you!” Dark Cupid jumped backwards, knocking another arrow. He looked with anger and panic as he found the string to his bow severed.
He looked towards the cold steely eyes of the woman, she wore a full red suit and her blue hair fell down over her eyes almost covering them. Looking at the spiteful glare Mylène’s eyes went wide “Riposte!?” she called out surprised.
Kagami nodded to her a soft smile breaking her expression with a look that was kinder than Mylène ever thought she’d see from the stern woman.
The fencer raised her blade towards Dark Cupid menacingly. The dark angel gritting his teeth in frustration. His large wings folded out and he dashed with impossible speed towards her, wielding an arrow as a weapon. Kagami smiled, easily sidestepping the blitz, her steel contacting his foolish attack.
Dark Cupid fell to the ground, his wing torn by the blade, he groaned in pained frustration.
“Kim!” Max called out worried.
Kagami approached Max and Mylène “he’s not Kim anymore, we have to get out of here before...”
“Before what?” an amused woman’s voice slithered in behind Kagami, making her spin on her heel, readying her weapon.
One of the Reflecta clones walked towards them with a smile, as she walked she seemed to fade out of view for a moment, suddenly becoming two, then four. “Stay a while boy” she looked down at the terrified Max with a sadistic grin, another Reflecta continuing “trust me, it’s better to stay by your lover” another Reflecta continued “than leave them to this fate.”
Kagami readied her blade, standing herself between the army of identical clowns and Mylène and Max “don’t worry, they don’t stand a chance.” She said with no hint of false confidence.
A puff of pink smoke appeared next to the Reflecta’s, another dark clown woman whom Mylène didn’t know appeared out of the cloud. She held a strange gun which smoked with pink and purple smoke. She giggled evilly “I hope you weren’t going to start without me my love” she smiled.
“Wouldn’t dream of it” Reflecta answered in unison.
Kagami’s stance shifted, her eyes turning into small slits “still don’t stand a chance”
A black panther jumped in to the side of them, roaring wildly before growing into a horrible titanic serpent, at least 7 meters long and with enormous claws and fangs.
Kagami turned towards Max and Mylène “actually maybe we should run” she wasted no time, dashing back towards them at lightning speed and grabbing both of them, jumping in between the tents, attempting to lose their pursuers.
Max was set down to attempt to run while being dragged by Kagami’s hand, his long slender legs swung widely to the sides as he tried keeping up with the impossible dashing speed of the fencer.
Mylène found herself cradled like a child against Kagami’s chest, she hung her arms around her neck, holding on for dear life. With her ear against the woman’s chest, Mylène could hear the panicked beating of the stoic warrior’s heart, showing the fear which refused to creep onto her face.
Mylène saw the scenery dashing past as she traveled at what felt like breakneck speeds through the canopy of cloth and crates that made up the circus camp.
Kagami lead them into a tent, hiding behind a large wardrobe. She went quiet, listening out for sounds of their pursuers, but they seemed to have managed to shake them.
“Shouldn’t we…” Max gasped for breath, trying to stay quiet “exit the camp…?” he wheezed.
Kagami shook her head whispering “not yet, Animan will be able to track us, we need to take him out of the picture before we can escape.”
“So” Mylène whispered thoughtfully “what happened? How did you return to normal? Can we do the same for Kim?”
Kagami’s teeth ground slightly as she thought “I don’t know what happened. Bubbler, Stoneheart and me just suddenly returned to normal. I got the boys to flee while I went after the Doctor, I found you on the way.”
Max’s shoulders fell “so you don’t know what caused it to end” he frowned.
Kagami shook her head “I’m sorry.”
“Wait!” Mylène exclaimed, being promptly shushed by the other two. “sorry…” she whispered, continuing in a quiet whisper directly into Kagami’s ear “Stoneheart, did he escape?”
Kagami looked down at her “I’m not sure, Bubbler ran towards town like I told him, but Stoneheart headed in towards camp, I don’t know why.”
Mylène gasped “he’s looking for me…” she concluded, her eyes growing wide with fear of the man looking for her while the monsters lurked around the camp.
Mylène looked down at her hand, clenching it into a fist, trying to keep it from shaking. “I have to go look for him!”
“What!?” Max was shushed by the other two, making him shrink back. He continued in a hushed shout “are you crazy!? Did you see what’s out there! Kagami, tell her she can’t go!”
Kagami looked at Max, then at Mylène. She reached in under her clothes and handed something to Mylène, looking down at it she was shocked to see that it was a wickedly sharp looking knife. She looked up at Kagami.
“I refuse to force anyone to do anything. If she wants to go try to save Stoneheart then all I can do is wish her luck.” The stoic warrior looked into Mylène’s eyes with a supportive and even proud look which made Mylène believe that she could actually do this.
Max looked at them, shaking his head “Mylène you must see that this is crazy! Please, stay here, we’ll get an army or something and return! There’s nothing we can do right now.”
Mylène shook her head “I… I have to try.”
Max and Kagami looked after her as she snuck out of the tent. Looking around to find it empty for now. Not knowing how long that would last, she rushed out, trying to get some distance between herself and the others.
Mylène found that many of the tents were spaced apart just enough that she could traverse it, but anyone larger would have trouble walking comfortably. If she snuck between these tents she might be able to go unnoticed.
She could feel her heart beating like a drum, the knife feeling heavy in her hand . She prayed she wouldn’t have to use it, she wondered if she even could.
She tried remembering the layout of the encampment, remembering where her and the rock-man had made their deal to meet. It was a little hidden away from the rest of camp, he might be waiting there for her.
She heard the sound of running footsteps close-by, she dodged behind a crate, feeling the cold wood against her fingers. She tried calming her breathing, holding a hand in front of her mouth while brandishing Kagami’s knife in the other.
Mylène resisted the urge to swallow as two of the Reflecta clones ran from both directions, meeting near Mylène.
“Where’d they disappear to!” One said frustrated.
“If you don’t know then how would I!?” the other snapped.
“Just keep looking! The doctor will have our heads if they escape!” The first said, clutching her head with worry.
The two gritted their teeth, dashing off in opposite directions. Mylène let herself sigh, waiting for her heart to stop trying to beat its way out of her chest before she poked her head out to look around.
The coast seemed clear for now, allowing her to sprint from tent to tent, praying with every step that she wouldn’t run into another monster. Another creature whose powers and malice was somehow worse than the last.
She could feel her legs growing heavier with every step, she felt the confidence melting away as sweat began running down her forehead. She felt cold and hot at the same time, the fear of being caught made her blood run cold, making her want to curl up and cry. But she forced herself to keep going, even as she felt the tears pressing against the corners of her eyes.
Mylène begged for everything to turn out alright. For everyone to be safe, and for the stone man to be there waiting for her with open arms.
When she found the familiar path around which was their decided meeting spot, she bit her lip, daring to hope what he looked like, that he was handsome and welcoming.
She darted across the path, seeing the turn before her, then felt a heavy impact against the back of her head. Vertigo took her for a moment, barely feeling herself hitting the ground, then the world turned black.
“Quite the adventure you’ve had Mylène.” The faint comforting voice of Gabriel sank into Mylène’s slowly waking consciousness. She looked up to see the man she admired, looking down on her with terrifyingly cold and angry eyes.
Cold numbness started spreading through Mylène as she remembered everything, she tried getting away but found herself tied down to a chair. She swallowed, looking up at the terrifying doctor Agreste, the last waning hope that he wasn’t behind everything slowly disappearing.
Mylène felt cold and afraid, tears starting to form in her eyes “why…?” she managed to sigh through gritted teeth, tears starting to flow down her cheeks.
The doctor didn’t look at her, he was moving glass and metal appliances onto a table. Amongst them the small box Riposte gave him earlier, and a large glass beaker with a plant in it.
“Why?” he muttered quietly, not looking at her. “I’m finding a way to make people better, immune to disease, strong as ten men and with powers to rival gods. The question isn’t why, it’s how could I not pursue this?”
The doctor opened the box, a small white butterfly climbing sleepily onto his finger. He uncorked the flask with the plant, carefully setting the butterfly onto a branch.
“You’ve temporarily cost me my best akuma, but I’ll get her back don’t worry. When you find clay that perfect, you do not allow it to slip through your fingers.” He looked at her with cold professionalism, but lurking, bubbling anger shone through his eyes.
Mylène swallowed, wondering how she’d been the one to set back his plans. Looking at the butterfly out of the corner of her eye, she saw the dark purple color of the plant slowly rising into it, coloring it in black and purple colors.
She looked up at him, a realization slowly dawning on her “the butterflies I let go… They freed the others…”
Doctor Agreste’s eyes narrowed with disgust, but he recomposed himself, pushing his glasses into place and smiling, talking in the same carefree tone he’d had when first they spoke, or at least a mockery of that tone. “yes well, in a way I have to thank you! I was keeping the butterflies around for research purposes, after I’d used them. Turns out they are much more important than I realized. In a way I have to thank your bumbling foolishness. Without you I may not have learned of this flaw in time to do something about it.”
The butterfly’s wings beat softly, as the last patches of whiteness disappeared from it. The doctor watched the process curiously but unsurprised.
“The others… they’ll stop you…” Mylène could feel herself shivering, she didn’t know what was going to happen but the terror of watching the man in front of her work slowly and meticulously without a hint of fear or worry chilled her to the core.
“I fully intended for them to try” he said coldly, putting together a metal tube, about the size of Mylène’s finger, with many copper colored pieces. “And when they do, I’ll get back my clay.”
The certainty in his voice send shivers down Mylène’s spine. Words failed her as she resigned herself to fall back, tears rolling down her cheeks.
The doctor slowly poked an incredibly thin needle into the butterfly, retrieving a tiny amount of small liquid into the metal tube. The butterfly froze, the purple markings on its body disappearing and it seemed to petrify into stone.
Gabriel admired the tube for a moment “for all the headache you’ve caused I do have to be thankful for one other thing. Your little meeting with Stoneheart allowed me to easily capture the two of you. Foolish young… well is it love? Or just two freaks finding comfort in their mutual horror?” he smiled sadistically.
Mylène sobbed, the thought of the stone-man waiting for her only to be captured like her breaking her heart. If it hadn’t been for her he could have just run away. “How… how did you know?”
“About your meeting? Oh let’s just say that sometimes the camp has eyes.” He smiled as the sadistic chuckling of a young woman echoed through the room, seemingly from nowhere.
Mylène closed her eyes, she couldn’t face this, she wanted to disappear. “you said… you said you loved people like me…” She sobbed, the fact that she’d trusted him hurting almost as much as the horror she was facing.
“Oh, but I do. I need clay for my work you see Mylène. And you freaks supply me with everything I need. That’s the lovely thing about outcasts you see, no one misses them.” Mylène could feel his breath on her face, she whimpered.
“So tell me. How do you feel?” he asked with an amused tone.
“Scared…” Mylène whispered, answering more on instinct than anything else, she opened one eye, looking at the strange man right in front of her face, wondering why he’d ask that.
“Scared? Hm…” Mylène opened an eye to see the doctor stroking his chin. “You know it’s funny, that’s what I expected everyone to feel in this situation, but surprisingly, you’re the first to be afraid. Everyone else have been so angry that it melted away the fear. I wonder how that will affect you”
He smiled a devilish smile he snapped his finger “open her eyes”
Mylène felt fingers touching at her head but there was no one there. Her eyes were forced open and her head was held in place by strong gripping hands.
The doctor kneeled down in front of her, readying the needle. “Are you afraid Mylène? Afraid of what will happen? Afraid because you know deep down that no one will save you? You should be afraid. Stay with the fear, focus on it. It’s going to be the catalyst for your beautiful metamorphosis.” He chuckled, the needle slowly approaching her skin.
Mylène shook wildly in her restraints, seeing the needle inching closer. She screamed out in horror, desperate for someone to save her.
She wanted to look away, to close her eyes and pretend to be somewhere else, but the fingers holding her eyes open dug into her flesh harder, mercilessly forcing her to see every moment of what was happening.
She felt the needle against her skin for a moment before the piercing pain of it sinking into her flesh. She saw the lever being pushed down on the metal canister, and even though she didn’t feel it, she could practically see the blackness seeping into her bloodstream.
She gasped for breath, looking up at the doctor with wild terror, he returned her gaze with amused curiosity.
Her arm began growing cold, like it was petrifying into ice. She felt the thoughts of terror rushing through her more with every second. She gasped for breath as the unnatural freezing coldness spread through her. Every thought and feeling began melting away only to be replaced with screaming, pain and terror.
Outside of the tent, outside the camp, where Max and Kagami hid, having escaped for now. The sound of terrified screaming carried on the wind towards them. The screaming of a small woman, not screaming for help, simply screaming because it’s all she had left to do.
Kagami’s legs gave out under her, she fell to the ground, holding over her ears and trying desperately to quell the echoing sounds of terror, which at the same time reminded her that she could have saved this woman, and on the other hand allowed her to relive the final moments of pain before Riposte’s birth.
The screaming persisted, the doctor prolonging it as long as he could, knowing the effect it would have on the would be escapees.
The piercing wailing seemed unending, the shrill voice of a small woman slowly drowning away, growing deeper, hoarser and finally, bestial. The screaming transformed slowly but surely into the hour long howls of a wounded, terrified animal, alone and lost in the world, unsure for now what to do but cry out into darkness.
Sabrina left Chloé's side awhile ago, but the wounds both on herself and others still linger. One night when Sabrina's writing some poetry at a laundromat she runs into Juleka. The shame of having locked the poor girl in a bathroom so many years ago wells up in her, but how do you apologize for something that happened so long ago?
The familiar rumbling of the washer kicking into gear filled the small Laundromat. Sabrina smiled as her boots pounded together on top of the powerful machine, sending echoes of leather thumbs out into the empty room.
She loved coming to clean her clothes in the middle of the night, there was something calming about having a large wide space all to herself. It was vastly better than sitting at home feeling like a loser.
She twirled her pen between her fingers, contemplating how if she spend as much time learning how to spin her pen like a baton, as she did on actually writing, she’d have finished a novel and a half by now.
She reread the paragraph she was stuck on for the hundredth time, she knew where she was going but every time she tried getting to it she ended up regretting ever thinking that she could become an author.
She sighed, realizing she wasn’t going to make any headway on her main work, opting instead to get at least some writing done. Her pen bled out onto the page with useless prose.
Washing Machine washing
Mechanical servant
My slave without judging
No life, no dreams
A life full of service
The life of worker-bees
Slave to your mercy
No life, no dreams
Sabrina groaned, mentally filing the poem under useless Chloé angst. At least it felt nice to see words flow onto the page, even if it was existential, repetitive angst.
She smiled to herself, wondering how she managed to follow around someone like Chloé so blindly for so long. Breaking away had been hard, but ultimately she’d learned that it was better to be alone than to be with someone toxic.
Toxic
Addictive to me
Impossible
To ever break free
Toxic
Your words to me
Hatred
Will you set me free
Toxic
You leave only me
Lonely
But finally free
She wondered if there was an audience for “a thousand salty poems about how Chloé f*ing sucks”. Possibly, especially with how Chloé managed to be the sole reason for at least half of Paris’ akumatizations.
Still, she didn’t want to be known for hatred and regret, she wanted to move on and make something that felt bright and hopeful. Not petty and repetitive.
Sabrina almost fell down from her vantage point on the machines as the door opened to her oasis. What kind of loser needed to wash their clothes at 2 am aside from her!?
Sabrina gasped as she locked eyes with the new patron, clad in black and much shorter haired than when last Sabrina saw her, Juleka looked amazing as she entered the Laundromat with a trash bag full of clothes.
Juleka was sporting a buzzed haircut with a fairly small purple patch of long flowing hair rolling down to frame her face similarly to before. She wore a semi large black dress with purple details, see-through leggings and army boots.
The look was super gothy but as always Juleka looked killer in it. Sabrina became intimately aware of her once white t-shirt over her braless top, her loose pajama pants with red patches still dotting the crotch, her messy red hair barely tamed in a bun, her large and ugly brown boots.
She didn’t want anyone to see her looking like this, but especially not Juleka, the only girl whose akumatization was wholly Sabrina’s fault. The way she locked Juleka in the bathroom so she’d miss getting her picture taken was so awful that she still got a knot in her stomach just remembering it.
She swallowed hard as Juleka and her locked eyes for a moment, Juleka looking through her, clearly recognizing her, but choosing to ignore her existence. The beautiful Goth walked past her and started working the machines.
It was evident from the two machines she chose to use, that her and Rose were still going strong. One machine was filled with colorful frilly clothes with mostly pinks, while the other was filled with only black.
Sabrina Couldn’t help but smile to herself, Chloé never believed in their relationship, saying they were only together for attention. Sabrina was glad that she’d been wrong, the two were so amazing together, and the way they supported one another in spite of, or perhaps because of their differences was so inspiring. If Sabrina could find love even half as sweet as theirs she’d be happy.
Still, the awkwardness of seeing Juleka after all these years was slowly creeping into every corner of Sabrina’s being. She slid her feet back, her knees meeting her chest, curling up into a tiny ball, hoping she could just disappear from the little Laundromat.
She shivered, remembering the time she actually did disappear, the pain of being akumatized still stung into her soul whenever she wanted to be invisible. That was what she’d done to Juleka. She bit her lip, she wanted to cry.
Sabrina looked at the door, maybe she could leave until her clothes were done; wander the streets like a hobo in the hopes of meeting no one. Looking outside into the cold dark November night she realized she’d freeze to death if she ran around out there for longer than a few minutes. She cursed herself for deciding to wash her jacket as well.
When Sabrina’s gaze returned to Juleka, she found herself locking eyes with the purple haired woman. Juleka looked away, pretending not to have been staring at her. She didn’t look happy, she must be as unhappy to see Sabrina as she’d expected her to be. It cut a dagger into her stomach to know how hated she was by a person who was so kind and understanding.
Sabrina felt her thoughts twist, wondering if she could be forgiven if it was possible to even begin to redeem herself. She felt the pen burning in her grasp.
There are a thousand ways to say it
But is there a way to be heard?
I can only hope you’ll forgive me
I know I’ve caused you such hurt
I know I can never make up for it
The things that I’ve done
But I’d like to try if you’ll let me
I understand if you just want me gone
I have to try and say it
The thing that can be said a thousand ways
I know you don’t need to forgive me
But I’ll be sorry for all my days
Sabrina looked down at the page in frustration, there was no way she’d ever be able to make it up to Juleka, but this kind of vapid self indulgent semi artistic circlejerk was beyond the worst way to do it.
She hated herself for even trying to do it this way, but more so for failing so badly at making something that meaningfully at least conveyed how she felt. It was stupid, even given a hundredth pages she’d never be able to express a sentiment that made her worthy of forgiveness.
Sabrina felt like she was going to start crying if she didn’t collect herself. Looking down at the page one last time she couldn’t remember the last time she’d made something she hated more. She felt the paper under her palm, ripping it out of the book.
She took a deep breath, it felt nice destroying it, it helped her stop the feeling of self loathing a little bit. She threw the barely crumbled paper towards the trash can, freezing in place as her poor throw caught wind and landed against Juleka’s boot.
Sabrina’s ears rang with silent alarm, her senses overwhelmed with panic. Juleka reached down curiously and picked up the paper, beginning to unwrap it.
“It’s uh… Trash, don’t… Read…” Sabrina tried sheepishly, but it was too late. Juleka’s eyes quickly scanned the short page.
Sabrina swallowed as Juleka’s eyes found hers, and Sabrina felt like she truly understood what they meant when they described feeling like a deer in headlights.
Sabrina didn’t remember exiting the Laundromat, but she remembered feeling extremely cold as she walked through the streets. She remembered having needed to escape from the Laundromat and then nothing, then cold.
She remembered swallowing her pride and walking into a snoozing dive bar where she was happy to find almost no people, and certainly no one who knew her. She remembered drinking a little bit, then a little bit more.
She remembered looking at the time and knowing Juleka had to have left by now, returning to her once peaceful oasis, knowing she’d likely have to find another place where her mind could be still, since this place was now tainted by awfulness.
She remembered a note on her machine.
There’s no perfect apology
But it seems to me
that it’s less than a great move
To try one, then flee
It’s been a long time since everything happened
I can see you’re different now
I’d like to know the new you
Maybe Sunday for some chow?
- Juleka
PS. I’m not a poet
PPS. Sunday, dinner at 18, bring flowers for Rose (not roses).
writing one fic per day? haha I’m sure I can do that, haha... well, still going strong anyway. Still having a lot of fun with the challenge anyway.
Alix and Sabrina are camp counselors. Alix finds herself annoyed that Sabrina's spending a lot of time pampering to the needs of some snot nosed bratty princess wannabe just because she yells loudly.
Link to Ao3
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631410
“BRINA! I WANT A JUICEBOX!” the squealing high pitched voice of a pampered 7 year old rang out into the cafeteria. Alix had gotten sick of hearing the little demon princess’ voice within the first half hour of her arrival, here on day 2 she felt like every utterance from the snot-nosed whelp was another nail into her skull.
Some children were rotten, spoiled little brats, Alix
had known that when she signed up to be counselor, and honestly the black
haired little runt wouldn’t bother her much if it wasn’t for Sabrina.
The red headed girl’s attitude towards Chloé back home
had always struck a nerve with Alix, always low-key annoyed her to see someone
so utterly spineless following someone so blatantly heartless. However she’d
always felt like it wasn’t her place to say anything, let the two idiots live
in their strange little bubble for all she cared.
She’d been a little disappointed to meet the glasses
wearing mouse as part of introductions to the camp. She’d hoped to get away
from Chloé and the drama back home, not get closer to one of the common causes
of said drama.
Her first conversation with Sabrina at camp had
brought a glimmer of hope, “I think Chloé and I could use a few weeks apart.”
She’d said smiling “It’s going to be really fun to be a counselor right? I’m
glad there’s someone I know here, makes it a little less scary right?” It had
given Alix hope that there was more to Sabrina than a lapdog, and for a few
hours there had been.
The first few hours of the campers arriving had
featured a smiling, welcoming and pedagogical Sabrina, the kind that would
really help Alix take care of the rowdy runts and even seemed like she could
possibly be fun to hang with.
That was until she arrived, Carmilla, a 7 year old who
seemed to believe the world revolved around her to such an extend that her ego
might actually have enough weight to create its own orbit. Her annoying high
pitched voice had demanded immediate respect or retribution, and before Alix
had gotten a chance to bury the girl’s face in the dirt, Sabrina had already
started following the girls’ orders.
Alix felt her nails digging into her arms, watching
Sabrina happily smiling as she offered another juicebox to the pouting
princess. “I WANT APPLE!” she yapped, ignoring Sabrina’s assurance that they
didn’t have more apple juice “I DON’T LIKE ORANGE!” she scowled, ignoring
Sabrina’s attempts to bring to attention the empty orange juice box that she’d
already drunk.
Sabrina stood up, looking around the cafeteria, she
locked onto Alix, smiling and waving her over for some reason. It dawned on
Alix that she herself was holding an unopened apple juice, having not had a
chance to drink it since she had to pull double duty with the kids, since
Sabrina had made caring for Carmilla a fulltime job.
Alix felt her blood fuming, that was the last straw.
She stomped towards Sabrina, she stood in front of her with her arms crossed,
in her head telling Sabrina not to dare say what she knew she was going to say.
“Carmilla wants apple juice but there isn’t any more,
could she have yours?” Sabrina smiled at her innocently; the idiot really
didn’t see her own idiocy, which just made her more idiotic.
Alix raised an eyebrow looking down at Carmilla, who
was scowling at her, as though her only thought regarding Alix could be ‘why
hasn’t the juice been transferred from you to me already!?’
Alix looked at Sabrina with as much of a resting bitch
face as she could muster “no, we’re out, she’s gonna have to deal.”
Sabrina’s smile wavered “but I mean, you have one and…”
Alix poked the straw through the box, looking down
into Carmilla’s confused eyes as she drank the juice, emptying the small carton
quickly, then crushing it and letting it fall on the table in front of the
devastated child.
Sabrina closed the door behind her, Carmilla’s loud wailing could be heard clearly through the door. Alix could clearly see that Sabrina wanted to get done with this quickly so she could go pamper and help the impossible little brat.
“I can’t believe you Alix! That was really immature!” Sabrina puffed herself up, her face red with anger and disappointment. It was strange seeing the mousey girl with something resembling righteous anger, refreshing even, but of course, incredibly misplaced.
“I’m immature? Right. What about you!? You pamper that little princess wannabe every hour of the day. You’re supposed to be a counselor, not a personal maid!”
Sabrina pouted “she needs a lot of help, you’re a bad counselor if you don’t wanna help the children.” She stated factually, childishly.
Alix snorted “she doesn’t need to be treated like that. You’re going to end up creating a little Chloé-clone. Is that what you want?”
Sabrina paused for a moment, her eyes showing a hint of weakness. “There’s… there’s nothing wrong with Chloé.”
Alix cocked an eyebrow at Sabrina who shrank a little, “you can’t honestly believe that right?”
Sabrina bit her lip “it’s complicated. Chloé’s actually really nice, she just has a hard time being open with people after her mom left. She’s better when it’s just the two of us, it’s taken a long time to build up that trust.”
Alix rolled her eyes “but why do you bother? You spend all your time trying to help someone who barely ever treats you nicely.”
Sabrina sighed, she looked down into the floor “it’s because… I guess I acted really shitty too for awhile after my mom…” she looked like she was going to start crying.
Shit Alix didn’t know what to do, she hadn’t expected things to go in this direction and crying people made her really uncomfortable. “um… there there?” she half heartedly patted Sabrina’s shoulder.
Sabrina snorted, smiling sadly at Alix “that’s the best you got? How did they make you a camp counselor? What are you going to do when a child’s upset, poke her with a stick?” Sabrina wiped a forming tear from her eye, smiling despite herself.
Alix thanked the heavens “hey fuck you I’m great with kids. They never cry long after I start beating them!” she smiled jokingly at Sabrina, more than happy to hear the orangehaired girl laugh at her crass joke.
“You’re terrible” she chuckled, pushing at Alix’ shoulder.
Alix chuckled back “now for that Carmilla girl” Alix found a large soup ladle, picking it up and testing it’s weight against her hand “I say we show her some tough love”
Sabrina shook her head smiling at the absurdity “you’d kill her for sure.”
Alix smiled cockily “even better! That way everyone’s happy!”
“Except for us, we’ll be caught for sure.” Sabrina crossed her arms, bringing her hand up to her chin, contemplating “although, maybe we can pin it on André, that snot-nosed punk tried to put gum in my hair. Two flies, one child murder.”
Alix’ eyes went wide, she smiled broadly “My God, the girl can be morbid, hallelujah.” She chuckled.
Sabrina looked suddenly embarrassed “no I mean… you started it…”
Alix cocked her head to the side and smiled “I don’t get you ‘Brina. You seem like you could be cool but you hold yourself back.”
Sabrina brushed her hair behind her ear, looking away. “No I couldn’t, shut up! You think cause you’re awesome it’s easy for others, but it’s just not. Some of us are just weird.”
Alix rolled her eyes “It’s gotta take real effort to say something so wrong in so little time.” She thought for a moment “except for me being awesome, you’re right about that, go ahead and say more of that.” She smirked.
Sabrina scoffed “yea right. Your ego’s already so large that if I started feeding it you might explode and take out the entire camp.”
Alix chuckled “please, if your words could overfill an ego then you’d be serving for Chloé’s murder.”
Sabrina laughed “I guess that’s true. But it really does help her. She needs love and support.”
Alix rolled her eyes “she needs a smack on the head! I get that she needs therapy but you’ve gotta be able to see that she needs some tough love, not constant pampering. Same with that brat in there! If you do everything for them they won’t be grateful, they’ll just take you for granted and demand more!”
Sabrina sighed deeply “so what do you want me to do? Ignore their cries for help?”
Alix shook her head “maybe split your focus a little. Carmilla doesn’t need all of your time, you could help the other kids more, and you could maybe help her by showing her that everyone can’t always drop everything because she wants a lollipop.”
Sabrina nodded thoughtfully “I… guess maybe that’s true… I can try.” She smiled “thanks Alix.”
Alix rubbed the back of her head “don’t go all mushy on me, I just hate when people don’t know they are being dumb. Let’s get back to the others aight?”
Sabrina nodded. As Alix turned towards the door she felt a hand on her shoulder “Alix wait um… there’s one thing…”
Alix turned around impatiently, imagining the third counselor who’d been tasked with keeping an eye on the dining children all alone for much too long. “what?”
Sabrina bit her lip, clearly struggling to get herself to say something which hung at the tip of her tongue. Alix sighed, putting a hand on Sabrina’s shoulder “hey, you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone, cause I’m 100 percent sure I won’t care.”
Sabrina scoffed, smiling at Alix’ comment, though her serious face didn’t fade, “I just… I wanted to know if you were gay.” Sabrina was looking away, a heavy blush on her face. It didn’t take a genius to read her intentions, and Alix was no genius!
Alix shook her head “I’m not.” But someone in here probably is.
“Oh…” Sabrina looked into the floor with clear disappointment. “I was just… curious like… with the hair and…”
Alix scoffed “right… anyway I’m not straight either. I’m like, nothing, I’m aroace. I’m not into that stuff at all.”
Sabrina took a moment to process, disappointment clearly plastered across her face.
Alix sighed “if it helps, if I was forced at gunpoint to choose I guess I’d rather date a girl than a boy.”
Sabrina looked up at her “really?”
She shrugged “they don’t smell as bad and they’re prettier to look at.”
Sabrina half-smiled at her, but Alix quickly shot her down with a scowl “don’t get any ideas though, as I said, I don’t do that mushy stuff, not any part of it, got it?”
Sabrina scoffed defensively “what? I mean… I was just curious you know? I wasn’t trying to hit on you or anything…!”
Alix looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a harsh expression, it didn’t take more than a second for Sabrina to crumble “don’t… don’t tell anyone…!”
Alix shrugged “I can’t imagine a world in which I would feel the need to tell anyone that you like girls. I’m not a gossip and I honestly, HONESTLY don’t care.”
Sabrina looked at Alix like she couldn’t believe that someone was just apathetic to her queerness. Alix could kind of understand, before she started being more open about it, she’d struggled a lot with her asexuality and aromanticism and what people might think.
Like Sabrina, she’d had to learn that it was a part of her, but it wasn’t actually a big deal to anyone else. That fact was both comforting and a little annoying, she’d been very ready to fight anyone who didn’t take her orientations seriously, but she’d yet to actually meet anyone who strictly opposed her, she had high hopes for a chance at kicking Chloé’s ass once she found out though.
“You can talk to me about it, being queer. I have some experience and I think I know more than you” Alix felt herself practically choking on her words, why couldn’t everyone just be stoic and cool like her, why was she inviting someone else to share their mushy feelings with her? Alix resisted the urge to audibly groan.
Sabrina’s eyes lit up, it was clear that she’d needed someone to talk to, someone to just not judge her. The girls smiled at one another, Sabrina’s blush giving Alix pause “ok but as long as we’re clear that we’re not going to date. This?” she pointed between the two of them “not happening. This” she pointed to herself “doesn’t date, ever.”
Sabrina chuckled “are you going to talk down to me and treat me like garbage?”
Alix’ head tilted to the side confused “what?! Of course not!”
Sabrina smiled sadly “then I don’t think you’re my type anyway.”
Alix’ shoulders dropped, “oh hell no” she found the words shot out of her mouth involuntarily. Still, the idea of Sabrina pining for Chloé who abused her so terribly immediately broke any of Alix’ apathy. She looked at Sabrina with a determined scowl “I’m getting you a girlfriend.”
Sabrina did a doubletake “wh… what?”
“I don’t care who, literally anyone would be better for you than Chloé and I’m going to find someone and you’ll date and you’ll be happy!” she growled.
“You uh… don’t have to do that…” Sabrina said defensively.
“Oh but I do, like it or not, you’re my friend now. And I take care of my friends. And you need a supportive girlfriend, someone who cares about you and who is NOT a blonde asshat. So I’ll find you one, if you like it or not!” Alix grit her teeth, her demanding tone easily breaking down Sabrina’s barricade.
Sabrina smiled at her nervously “… ok… ok yea!” her nervous smile slowly turned more confident. She leaned down and hugged Alix tightly “thank you. Friend.” She smiled happily.
Alix groaned, how did this keep happening to her!?
Sabrina's trying to be an adult, move away from her childish teenage tendencies and get into the swing of proper life. That means leaving behind the shackles of candy for dinner, videogames and hooking up with Alya at every party she's been to. One of these things is proving more difficult than she'd like however.
He’d been talking for at least 20 minutes since Sabrina had tuned him out. Something about the difference between airplanes. She did her best impression of an interested listener, nodding and smiling when she thought it was appropriate. She’d wasted effort in the beginning of the chat, trying to actually listen and ask follow up questions, but she’d quickly learned that it was unnecessary. This man could talk without input whatsoever. She’d be fascinated to know when he’d actually stop, if she wasn’t so impossibly bored.
Looking out at the rest of the party, people were dancing, mingling and
smiling, while she was stuck with Nikolas on a second date, which Sabrina had
continued to tell herself couldn’t be worse than the first. “At least we’ll be
at a party,” she’d told herself. How naive yesterday’s Sabrina had been.
She caught a glimpse of Chloé, standing with a group of people probably talking about fashion or anything more interesting than airplanes. Chloé managed to get a laugh from the five people around her. She’d become truly excellent at rubbing shoulders at parties. She’d have to be to be going into politics. Chloé and Sabrina’s eyes met, Chloé shot her an encouraging smile. Seriously, where did Chloé find these guys to set her up with? Did she actually think her type was moderately handsome and boring as dirt?
Sabrina finished another drink, smiling at Nikolas. “I’ll just go grab another, probably hit the washroom, be right back, I can’t wait to hear what actually made the Hudson thingy happen.” She chuckled, dashing off from the table to get just a moment's rest from his droning, monotone voice. She got another mojito, sitting at the bar overlooking the party. She ran a finger against her temple, hoping the headache would subside.
“Strawberry daiquiri, please,” an all too familiar voice rang out next to her, the voice of the last woman she wanted to see right now. She turned her head away, hoping to go unnoticed.
“Hey, Red, come here often?” The seductive, teasing tone was unmistakable.
“Hey, Alya…” She smiled at the gorgeous journalist sitting down next to her, “here to report on the party?”
Alya groaned. “Pretty much. These events are so stuffy, I wish I could get something more interesting to write about. Got any good dirt for a story?” Her sultry smile made Sabrina turn away from her.
She didn’t need this right now.
“Not for you. Besides, I’m here on a date!” She sounded more defensive than she’d like. Alya brought out the worst in her.
“Ooh, a date. How fun! Finally find Mister Right?” She asked teasingly.
“Maybe I did! He makes me laugh and he’s gorgeous!”
“Sounds dreamy.” Alya said sarcastically, running a finger along the rim of her glass disinterested.
Sabrina snapped. “What about you? Tricked any girls to kiss you in a broom closet lately?”
“Hey, I don’t appreciate your tone, besides, it takes two to kiss in a broom closet, and in a garden, and in a bathroom.” She teasingly and slowly listed their escapades. “And I don’t recall ever tricking you into doing anything, heck, I seem to recall you-“
“-Yea, well, I’m straight!” Sabrina interrupted.
“So you say.”
Sabrina looked at Alya, fire bursting from her eyes. She wanted to punch her stupid perfect face, pull her close and tear her clothes off. Sabrina bit her lip, grabbed her drink and stormed off in a huff, back to her table. Nikolas smiled up at her. She barely got to the table before he continued his story about the Hudson or whatever, but Sabrina held a hand up to stop him.
“I don’t wanna talk,” she said sternly, looking at his confused expression. She looked back to the bar where the reporter waved at her, smiling. Sabrina practically snarled. She downed her drink in two quick swigs and grabbed her man, pulling him away from the tables.
“I’m, uh… not much of a dancer…” he said nervously, to no one’s surprise.
Sabrina dragged him over to a corner, just enough away to be secluded, but still within view of the bar. Nikolas looked at her confused, slightly concerned. Sabrina reached up to grab at his neck and pulled him down into an aggressive kiss. His stubble felt like tiny needless against her lips and he barely even seemed to be trying to kiss her back, but she couldn’t stop now, especially when she knew Alya was definitely watching. What was he, a statue? His hands were out to the side, palms out like he had seen a spider. She grabbed his hands and brought them down to her side, guiding them to her lower back, letting him know he could let them travel. She reached back up to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away from her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, catching her breath.
“You’re drunk!” He looked offended, like making out with her was the worst thing. Had Chloé set her up with a gay guy? Again!?
“I’m not! I just… I really wanted to kiss you!” she lied. The kiss had been awful. Worst of her life, actually, or at least top three. Top five definitely.
He wiped his hand over his mouth disgusted. “We should go home, get you some water, we can talk about this tomorrow!”
Sabrina grit her teeth. She was being treated like a child by the guy who collected model trains and planes?!
“I don’t wanna go home! I wanna dance! Do something fun!”
“This isn’t my idea of fun.”
“Yea, well, I guess we can’t all be sophisticated enough to understand the appeal of watching a toy go in circles for an hour!”
His nostrils flared, his body was tense and his hands were shaking slightly.
“I think I should go,” he said through gritted teeth.
“That sounds great,” she answered, fighting the urge to stick her tongue out at him like a child.
She watched him stomp off into the night, hopefully never to be seen again.
Sabrina groaned, looking around to see a few people staring at her, including Alya from the bar, whose cold look could only have been made more insulting if she’d actually slow clapped. Sabrina swallowed, slipping away from the crowd and hiding in the bathroom.
She allowed her head to slowly meet the sink, the cold relief of the stone clearing her warm thoughts for just a moment. Now, if only the world would stop spinning.
When the door opened and she heard short stilettos walk up next to her, she knew who it was without opening her eyes.
“Came here to mock me?”
The metallic sound of a lighter rang out next to her. “Came to see if you were alright. Mocking you is just a bonus.”Cigarette smoke teased at Sabrina’s nostrils.
“I thought you quit.”
“Tried to, always end up coming back for more. So, Mister Right?” Alya paused to take a drag from her cigarette. “I’m thinking spring wedding?”
“Shut up…” Sabrina stood up and leaned against the sink next to Alya. To her surprise she felt herself smiling. “I think I saw him kissing one of his model trains with more passion than he kissed me,” she chuckled.
“Sounds like a real dreamboat.”
“Shut up.” Sabrina grabbed the lit cigarette away from Alya. The imprint of the sexy reporters dark lipstick was smeared on the bud of the white deathstick. Sabrina let the smoke fill her lungs, allowing herself to feel for a moment that she was tasting her real addiction. Whoever said cigarettes were the hardest habit to quit had never met Alya.
Alya smiled, watching the smoke slowly rise from the red headed girl’s mouth. “Thought you quit too.”
“Shut up.” Sabrina leaned up next to Alya, staring deeply into the beautiful orange eyes which haunted her dreams. Just looking at the gorgeous woman in front of her, looking back at her with inviting, teasing warmth. She felt a hundred times more of a spark just staring at her than she did making out with her robot man.
“What? Did I trick you into this again?”
“Shut up…” Sabrina leaned forward and caught the beauty’s lips, feeling Alya’s arms snaking around her, pulling her deeply into her, like falling into an ocean of fire and passion. No one had ever measured up. After 6 years of desperately searching for a man that could make her feel this way she’d never even gotten remotely close. She pressed herself against Alya like she was trying to melt into her, find a way to make this moment, this feeling, last forever. Her hands found Alya’s hair, grabbing at tufts and feeling the thick locks between her fingers, pulling Alya’s head back from hers for a moment. Alya looked so vulnerable, she was leaned back on the sink, looking up at Sabrina with desperate eyes, her glasses slightly crooked. Sabrina’s breath was caught in her throat. She wanted more than another drunken make out session. She wanted to be with her, in every possible way.
Sabrina’s head felt like it had been struck by a jackhammer. She groaned and tried stretching, finding her entire body sore. She fumbled on her nightstand to find her glasses and found that she was fumbling on someone else’s nightstand. She became instantly aware that she wasn’t in her own home, and that she was nude. She quickly covered herself with the blanket. Had she actually slept with Nikolas?!
No... wait… She remembered the fight and began slowly piecing together the night before. She couldn’t have…
She found her glasses and looked around at a fairly messy room. Clothes and papers were strewn around somewhat haphazardly. A fresh set of comfortable clothes were folded next to her, including panties that weren’t hers. Looking around the room at the clothes on the floor, the place undeniably belonged to a woman. Sabrina ran a hand across her sore head, groaning loudly.
“Oh hey, you’re up.” The familiar voice that Sabrina had expected, yet somehow hoped wouldn’t belong to the apartment’s owner rang out from the next room. Alya appeared, wearing a morning robe, holding a half eaten piece of buttered toast. “Slept ok?” she asked, her kind face devoid of the teasing judgment Sabrina was expecting.
She was going to ask if they slept together, but flashes of last night began flooding her senses, the sensation of Alya’s touches, of her lips. Her scent heavy against her, her nude form exposed for her to explore. She pulled the blanket further up over herself, hiding her blushing face.
“I can’t believe I did this…” Sabrina’s voice was raspy and she realized her throat was sore and dry. Looking next to her Alya had already put a glass of water out for her.
“Yeah… you were pretty wild.” Alya sat down softly next to her, taking care to not shake the bed and worsen Sabrina’s headache. “Didn’t expect you to be a biter.”
She smiled, moving the robe slightly to the side, revealing a red circle around her neck. Seeing it, Sabrina remembered the sensation of Alya’s beautiful brown skin under her teeth, the sound she had made.
“That’s not funny… I can’t believe you’d do this…” Sabrina bit her lip, hoping no one had seen them leave together.
“Excuse me?” Alya’s tone was suddenly harsher, accusing.
“You took advantage of me! I can’t believe you’d do something like this while I was drunk!” Oh god, yelling hurt her poor head.
Alya looked at her with sharp eyes, the friendly teasing was washed away, replaced with a truly piercing gaze which Sabrina had only seen from Alya when she and Chloé had crossed the line back in school. The look made her shrink under the blanket.
“I can’t believe you! You jump my bones whenever we’re alone together and then blame alcohol or shitty breakup or, hmm, what was it? The weather?!” Alya’s thunder came down on Sabrina, making her want to just shrink away. There was maybe some truth to it.
“It’s not easy you know? Being your bootycall. Ending up with you whenever it’s convenient for you! I wasted a really promising first date because you felt lonely!”
Sabrina remembered that. Alya had been on a date with some girl and Sabrina had practically jumped her even though Alya had said no. She didn’t remember the evening clearly. She’d been very drunk, but the other girl must have been upset.
“I… I’m sorry…” She pulled her legs up to her chest. She wished she was wearing clothes for this talk. She felt exposed enough as things were. “But you could have ended it… you never told me to stop.”
Alya paused, then she sighed heavily. “I guess I always figured ‘this will be the time when she gets the point and actually commits.’”
“Commits to what?”
Alya paused, her fist clenched on the bed. “Forget it!”
She shot up from the bed, walking towards the door, but Sabrina managed to grab
her wrist, keeping her in place.
“Please… oh god… vertigo... “ Sabrina regretted all her life decisions for a moment as she waited for the nausea to pass and the Alyas in the room to become singular. “Please… tell me?”
Alya tasted her tongue angrily. “To being with me, Iguess. To stop being so childish and just admit that you like me so we could
actually be together!”
Sabrina let go of Alya’s hand and looked up at her, but Alya pointedly turned away. Her breathing was fast and she looked as though she was fighting tears.
“I guess I… never thought of it that way…” Sabrina admitted, feeling her head spin. Alya looked down at her expectantly. “I mean… I guess I never thought about it, about us, as a potential relationship. I thought you were just teasing me…”
Alya scoffed. She took a deep breath. “You’re so dense.” She chuckled, exasperated. “I swear, what have you even been thinking?”
“I guess I’ve just been thinking a ton about my future. I’ve always thought I’d have a husband and maybe a child on the way. I just… thought of everything else as a distraction.” She laid her head back against the frame of the bed. “What am I even doing with my life… I’m not even sure I want children. I’ve just been trying to find a guy dumb enough to fall in love with me, and for what?”
“Two kids, a dog and a minivan?”
“Ugh… right. I’ve never wanted any of that, I just went for it because I thought I was supposed to... God, I’m such a damn idiot…”
Alya sighed and sat back down next to her. “If It helps I’m a moron too…”
“You’re not… you’re like the smartest, kindest person I know.”
“Yea, well… if I’m so smart, then why did I fall in love with a doofus like you?”
The two of them shared a look. Alya was scanning Sabrina’s eyes, worried that she’d said too much. Sabrina could feel her heart beating faster. She’d been running away from everything she wanted for much too long.
“My dad’s gonna kill me if I take you home…”
“Roger? I didn’t think he was much of a homophobe…”
“No, you don’t understand. He’d be fine with me bringing home literally anyone, but he absolutely loathes smokers!”
Alya paused for a second, scoffed, then dashed forward to rip the blanket off of Sabrina and begin tickling at her sides mercilessly.
“No, Alya, please! I’m so hung over!” Sabrina pleaded as her exhausted body convulsed under Alya’s grip. She let up quickly, smiling down at Sabrina, whose head was killing her again.
“I’d say I’m sorry, but honestly you deserved that, and then some.”
“I know, just… please let me repay my debt to society another way! Please!”
“I’ll have to think about it. Until then, expect to be tickled.”
“Noooo!”
Sabrina tried to protect herself as Alya moved down on top of her, but thankfully it seemed the beautiful woman was only interested in lying down against her, laying her head softly against her shoulder.
“There’s, um… one last thing.” Sabrina said, looking up at the ceiling, trying to make it stop spinning again.
AU Yea August day 20 - Coffee Shop AU
Funnily enough this is actually the first of the AU prompts I wrote
Marinette scratched her nail against the rim of the tea mug. The empty tea- and coffee-shop was usually all she needed to focus her thoughts, but the familiar magic of the spices filling the small space, the sounds of the quiet store, and importantly, the sage advice of the only person whom she could talk to about her entire life, bug and girl, he was the only one who knew both.
“I just… we’ve been at this for over a year now and we’re no closer to stopping Hawkmoth” she sighed over the counter. Master Fu hummed, looking away from her, instead focusing on the slow rising on a thermometer in a teakettle.
“I understand your frustration Marinette. But you are doing everything you can, no one can expect more from you.”
She shook her head “of course they can! They expect me to keep them safe!”
“And isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“It just all feels so temporary! I stopped three akuma attacks yesterday, before lunch! It’s not getting better, in fact it might be getting worse!”
Fu chuckled “Hawkmoth is creating more akuma, but I think this is a good sign. He is getting desperate, he too feels like his fighting is bearing no fruit for his efforts.”
“So we’re in a stalemate? We’ll end up doing this forever?” Marinette sighed.
Fu shook his head smiling “it is a war of attrition my dear, one of you will inevitable make a mistake that will turn the tides. And in that you have a big advantage.”
“and what’s that?”
“why a handsome and amazing teacher” he said with a wink, causing Marinette to smile exasperated at him.
“I’m not sure that’ll help much against Hawkmoth in the long run.”
“oh on the contrary my dear.” He took the kettle off the heat and poured it, the sweet scent of oolong filling Marinette’s nostrils pleasantly. “I’m a small piece of the puzzle. Chat Noir is there for you to lean on, as is your friends. The truth is that every man, woman and child in Paris is rooting for you, they support you and they look up to you. In your time of need you’ll find that you can never fall far without a pair of hands catching you. A man like Hawkmoth…” Fu sipped his tea, shaking his head “a man like that has no one, when he’s knocked down he’ll fall apart for good.”
Marinette ruminated for a moment, taking in his words. She once again felt the familiar healing warmth of the little shop, or rather of the little man who ran it.
“Thank you Master Fu, that does help. I just wish there was more I could do you know?”
He smiled at her sympathetically “do you know why I started this store?”
“to make ends meet?” Tikki interjected between mouthfuls of honeycomb pie.
Fu chukled “if it was about money I would have gone back to my job for the bank. No, I’m running this place because it gives a few Parisians a place to rest their minds after a long day of work and akuma attacks. An oasis for the mother who worries about her children being transformed into monsters, the daughter unable to forget the face of her fathers transformation. A recluse of well…” he motioned towards the sign behind him, bearing the name of the shop; Stabilitea. “It’s my way to help others, and you Marinette, you inspire us all to help our neighbor. If you want to honor what we do for you, you have to accept that you do enough, and accept the help that we then offer you.”
Marinette smiled at him “thank you. If ever I face an enemy that can be defeated with wonderful tea, I’ll be sure to give you a call”
He smiled “I’m working on a new blend, I’ll call it Vitalitea for the hero who needs an extra kick.”
“Then I hope I’ll soon have the opportunitea” she chuckled. Marinette caught the time from the clock on the wall behind the counter. She sighed, gathering her things and waving goodbye to her mentor, thanking him for the tea and the advice. She flipped the sign on the door from closed to open, then began making her way home.
She knew her troubles were still far from over, but somehow it felt like she was ready to face tomorrow, and the day after. On her way down the street she froze, Adrien’s father was walking down the street right towards her! She managed to hide her face poorly with her bag, walking awkwardly past him.
He’d be a scary man even without being the father of her massive crush, she didn’t know how to deal with him seeing her in a weird part of town while she should technically still be in school.
Thankfully he didn’t seem to catch her, or at least not recognize her. Marinette sighed in relief as he disappeared into Stabilitea, allowing her to walk home, planning how she could make a good impression on her future father-in-law the next time they met, that way she wouldn’t end up in the same situation again.
Gabriel Angraste stood inside the quant store, taking in the sights and the smells. Aside from the quirky looking owner, not a soul grazed the place with life.
“are you open?” he asked skeptically, reviewing the empty rows.
“yes of course, we just opened a minute ago” the owner smiled.
“on 1:47?”
“yes. A friend required my advice so I closed the place down for a few minutes.”
“that’s not a good strategy for growing your business.”
“perhaps, but sometimes it is more important to focus on growing your soul. Or your friend’s in this case.” He smiled widely at the tall, scoffing fashion designer. “so what can I get you?”
Gabriel sighed “I like having an afternoon cup of coffee at Café De Leon every Tuesday and Thursday at 1:30. I’ve unfortunately had to find today that it has closed down. Surveying the area it seems I’m stuck with this place or Starbucks.” His lips curled in discontent, as though just naming the store chain brought him disgust.
His eagle gaze scanned the store, the shelves behind Fu and finally the man himself, an arid superiority and a look that conveyed an expectation of disappointment was plastered on his face.
“I do make excellent coffee, but I would not be a true artisan if I did not recommend you try our specialitea’s, you may find that their soothing properties might do you some good.” The short man’s smile was unwavering in the face of Gabriel’s stern, unamused gaze. Their eyes battled for a moment before Gabriel sighed, sitting down before the counter.
“What could it hurt”
“That’s the spirit” Fu began spooning green powdered tea into a cup, his trained eye carefully measuring the amount. He ignored Gabriel’s pouting expression, he was clearly not a fan of Fu starting before anything had been clearly ordered.
“and tell you what, if you don’t like it, you’ve no reason to pay” Fu said, placing a simple brown cup in front of the skeptical man.
“that’s not...” Gabriel started, silenced by Fu’s interjection “a good way to run a business, yes I’m aware.” He chuckled. Gabriel simply shook his head at the old man’s musings.
“You seem stressed. What bothers you so?” Master Fu asked.
“I’m getting the sense that this is not going to be my new place to have a quiet cup of coffee”
“perhaps not, but you may find that you quite like a talkative cup of tea.
Gabriel smiled despite himself “perhaps. Though I doubt it.” He sighed “I’m working on an important project. A project which I hoped would be my legacy, would put everything right. The more I work on it though, the more I find obstacle upon obstacle. I feel as though I’ve made it to the finish line, and yet one last challenge stands before me, and it’s turning out to be an impossible problem to fix!”
He drummed his fingers on the table in frustration “I feel like I’ve tried everything, tackled it from every angle. I’ve gotten close so many times, but everyday it’s back to square one. I’ve been making no headway in over a year now, and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever really make it. If in the end, this was all just for naught.”
Master Fu listened patiently, nodding his head sympathetically “you know, this is not the first time I’ve heard something like that today. And I’ll tell you roughly the same thing I told her. You cannot solve your problems with willpower and effort alone, it takes support and teamwork to solve life’s greatest challenges. Who will you turn to, when you finally admit you cannot do this alone?”
Gabriel scoffed “there’s no one who can help me. I simply have to work this out myself.”
“I’ve heard that many times. More times than I can count really. However, I’ve never known it to be true in the end. The man who tries to break a door down with his forehead will always end up with nothing more than a concussion, and a wall still standing.”
Gabriel smiled despite himself, the mental image seemed more apt than he’d like to admit. “perhaps I could stand to use an outsiders perspective. I’ll at least give it some thought.”
The fashion designer’s slender hands picked up the cup and blew on the warm tea, savoring the aroma for a moment. He could scarcely remember what newly brewed tea smelled like, but the pleasant earthly scent brought images of long forgotten memories into his mind. He
looked at the tea curiously, then around at the store.
“hold on… how long has this store been here?” he asked.
“not long under this name. however before I took it over it had been here under the name La Créativithé. Used to cater pretty exclusively to young writers and poets. Still does come to think of it, but that’s less intentional now” he chuckled.
“La Créativithé… yes… I used to come here. It looked a bit different, but it’s mostly the same.” A rare smile cracked his lips as he looked around the store with newfound interest, recalling the days and evenings he’d spend, sketching his early designs and sharing ideas with other young artists over smoke and coffee. “I can’t believe this place still exists.” He muttered, “this is where…” his smile fell as a small sting of pain pierced his heart, he remembered why he rarely reminisced, “nevermind” he said, placing the cup down on the table, getting ready to leave the haunted place.
“where you met the person who caused you heartbreak.” The small man said calmly, not meeting Gabriel’s eyes. Gabriel paused, looking confused at the proprietor.
“how did you know?” he asked sharply.
“the look on your face tells the whole story. You needn’t leave, this place will not hurt you.”
Gabriel shook his head “then you do not know the whole story. Those memories hold nothing but pain.”
“maybe so, but running away from them will only allow them to haunt you further. Tell me about your lost love. You may find it more fruitful.”
Gabriel sighed before taking a sip of the tea in front of him, it was earthy but sweet and as the man had promised, strangely calming.
“I suppose. Since I’m apparently trying new things today.” He looked at the palm of his hand, more specifically the ring still on his finger, running his thumb thoughtfully over it, thinking back on the days where he still knew what being happy felt like. “I was 19 when I moved to Paris. I didn’t have anyone or anything, just a sketchbook and ambition. I spend most of my time waiting tables, pouring drinks and on the rare occasion that I could find a moment to myself, I’d sit here, right in that booth over there, sketch and exchange ideas with likeminded dreamers. It was here that I met Emilie, a passionate soul.” He paused for a moment, conjuring up an image in his head of his lost love.
“I was determined but shy back then, I knew my ideas were good but I naïvely thought that if I simply designed something good enough, people would take notice.” He shook his head “Emilie loved my designs and she convinced me I needed to stop trying to perfect them and instead just get them out there! She was a real firecracker, she helped me establish connections within the world of fashion. At one point she literally kicked in the door to Marcus Frovilier, the fashion king of the time’s office because he’d rejected my designs, and demanded he take a second look.” He chuckled “the amazing thing is that it worked. She was that kind of woman.”
Gabriel sighed deeply, proudly but sadly. Knowing that the wonderful memories would be forever soured by what happened next. “after we both found success, me as a designer, her as an actress and my muse, we soon got married. We were on the fast track to the good life, especially after the birth of our son.”
The image of a young Adrien’s joyful expression fired through Gabriel’s mind, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen his son really smile.
“My obsession with gathering influences from all over the world grew as fast as my bank account. My wife and I would go on lengthy trips to India, Nigeria and especially China, to explore long forgotten styles and expressions which fueled my creativity. Emilie often brought aide to the poorer parts of the countries we visited, while I rubbed shoulders with the historians, the archeologists and the rich. It wasn’t surprising then that after many trips to unknown countries, to unknown slums and alleys, that she managed to get hurt. A young man had threatened her with a knife and stolen her jewelry, he’d managed to cut her on her arm, nothing too serious, or so we thought. The unsanitary conditions of the area and the lack of proper medicine and care caused her condition to rapidly falter. When we finally got to a proper hospital she was already in a terrible state. In the end she did not recover…” Gabriel closed his eyes, remembering the image of his wife, sickly and dying on a bed in a strange country, remembered her telling him “I’ll pull through this Gabriel… Adrien is waiting for me at home… I need to get back to him…”
Silence lingered in the empty shop for a small eternity. The only movement the slow heaving of Gabriel’s shoulders, the trailing of tears softly running down the side of his face.
“I should have been there for her… I could have saved her if I’d been a good husband, helped her fight for the downtrodden instead of sitting in my palaces, laughing with my kings and looking down. I should have been by her side every step of the way…”
“it’s hard to say. I don’t trust a person who has no regrets, but you must also learn to separate the past from the present.”
Gabriel scoffed “there’s nothing for me in the present… my life… everything I ever lived for is in the past…”
“and your son?”
He paused “Adrien… I’ve robbed him of his mother. How can he ever be truly happy without her? Whenever I look into his eyes I see only the longing for the mother I took from him.”
Master Fu shook his head “the boy lost his mother, it’s truly a shame. But that he should lose his father as well would be a tragedy. The longing you see in his eyes is not for her, but for you. He needs you, and you need him.”
“I don’t deserve his forgiveness.”
“It’s not about forgiveness. It’s about a boy who needs your attention. You can blame yourself all you want, but you cannot allow it to keep you from being with him. Remember what we talked about earlier? You need help with your project and you need to take care of your bright and talented son. Clearly there’s a simple solution to both of your problems.”
“include Adrien in my work? No that’s impossible, he’d never understand!”
“You should have more faith in him. From what I hear, he’s the type to kick in the door to fashion kings, perhaps he’s exactly what you need.” The old man smiled at Gabriel, who was struck with silence. Bringing Adrien into his… work, it was impossible! And yet…
“I’ll… you’ve given me a lot to think about.” He admitted impressed.
“I look forward to seeing you Thursday” Fu smiled with a glint in his eye.
Gabriel chuckled “maybe you just might.” He placed 20 Euro on the counter and stood, moving to the door. He paused while standing with one hand on the door handle, turning to the short old man “perhaps you should rename this store to Theratea… uh… Tearapy…” his face was frozen in a strained smile for a second before he cleared his throat and left the store in a hurry.
Ao3
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15696606
Day 15 - Life Swap (went with more of a bodyswap)
Alix finds a broken miraculous with half a kwami inside.
”Oh no… no this is all wrong” the small white cat floated gently towards the computer screen, looking over the images of the new heroes of Paris. She had a somber expression on her face, looking at Volpina and Le Paon fighting.
Alix let her watch take in the image while she herself took in the creature in front of her. It was a small white catlike creature, a kwami appearently it was called. She might be the strangest thing Alix had seen, especially because of her lack of a full body.
Alix touched the little metal charm between her fingers, it looked like half of a stick with a leaf growing on it. It was clearly only half of the charm however, it was broken in half, and the creature before her reflected this.
She looked like a 3D model which hadn’t been finished, she was hollow, with the top half of her head completely missing. Her head stopped smoothly just above her mouth, tracing a smooth line around her head as though she was supposed to wear an eye mask like many of the Parisian heroes, instead there was nothing there, and Alix could look down directly into her hollow white body from the top.
Alix decided to try and push down the questions of how she could see with no eyes to speak of, after all, it was beyond evident that she could see just fine, and it seemed pointless to ask.
Her confoundment was slowly overpowered by questions burning through to the front of her mind. “Why is it wrong? Looks alright to me, they’ll get Volpina soon I’m sure.”
The cat shook her head “there should be nothing to ‘get’. There should never be this many Miraculouses active at any one time, especially not so close together.” The kwami frowned thoughtfully.
“So what happened? Why are they all over the place? Why are you broken?”
She shook her head “it’s limited what I can sense when not in contact with a human. All I remember is falling, then… I guess my miraculous hit something with enough force to break it apart.” She sighed sadly.
“Are you… alright? I mean, you’re kind of…” Alix gestured towards her own head in the area where the cat was missing hers.
The cat shrugged “kind of. This body of mine is not in an ideal condition, but I’m not this body. We kwami are representations of something greater. If my miraculous was destroyed, my anchor to this plane would be destroyed, but I would be unharmed. And if someone was able to uncover the method for forging the Miraculouses, then I could once again return to this world.”
Alix nodded slowly, taking it all in. “So… does it hurt? Being like this?”
The creature nodded “tremendously. But it’s only this version of me feeling pain, so it doesn’t matter.”
Alix cocked an eyebrow “that sounds a lot like me saying I shouldn’t worry because my body’s only where my brain lives, it doesn’t matter if it’s hurt!”
She nodded “exactly. The temporary nature of the physical doesn’t matter when compared to the spiritual, to our real selves.”
Alix’ shoulders dropped, “you’ve gotta be kidding right!? Ugh… Is there something I can do? Help with the pain?”
She thought “I suppose eating could be good, but nothing’s going to really help aside from being made whole.”
Alix scratched her hair “Alright, guess I’ll try to find the other piece of your charm after dinner. What do you eat?”
“Bamboo” she said, still looking at the images on the computer.
“You’re kidding right!? Where am I supposed to get bamboo at this hour? Can’t you eat catfood?”
She sighed deeply “I guess any type of leaves will do, just not oak.” She pouted with passionate hatred for oak.
Alix rubbed her neck “I’ll see what I can do I guess.”
Alix had to resist the urge to look down into the top of the creature as she began eating the basil leaves that she’d brought. One after another the kwami downed the large leaves. She’d already eaten enough to fill the tiny body of hers and the fact that Alix could probably look down into her stomach if she wanted to was strangely tempting. Whenever she tried though, the kwami flew off somewhere else, seemingly shy about her ‘injury’.
“So… My name’s Alix, what’s yours?” she said, trying nonchalantly to croon her neck enough to see the kwami’s mouth from the other angle.
The kwami didn’t stop eating, but slid slowly away from view, leaning backwards and making it impossible to see. “I’m Ween.”
“Alright Ween. So what are we going to do? Get the rest of your charm and then you’ll turn me into a hero?” Alix looked at her without much excitement.
Ween shook her head “there are too many Miraculouses already active. I implore you, if you find a way to make me whole, don’t use me for your own purposes.” She begged.
Alix held her palms up in front of her defensively “woah hold up, I’m not exactly lining up to be a superhero. Sure it’d be kind of cool but hey, look at me, I’m cool enough already.” She smiled boastfully.
The kwami tilted her head confused, hurting Alix’ pride more than she’d like to admit.
“What I mean is-” she said, clearing her throat “that if you don’t need me to go out fighting crime or chasing butterflies or whatever, then I’m alright with that. I’ve got enough going on without that biz. But I want to help you become whole again.”
Ween nodded slowly “that’s kind of you. But why would you want to help me if you have nothing to gain?”
Alix sat back, looking up into the ceiling. She remembered when she first befriended Nathaniel he’d asked her something similar. But when someone was hurt and alone right in front of her then she couldn’t just do nothing. That was the reason she had 6 cats (well, 7 now), and it was the reason she kept trying to help Marinette. She kept being in situations where people needed help, and she couldn’t just not help them.
“Guess I just don’t like seeing people suffering.” She responded. “So what will you do after you become whole?”
“I need to find Fu and return to his care for when a keeper decides that I’m needed, only then will I grant my powers. These others, I imagine they’ve let themselves get carried away, in the hands of a human and suddenly they forget that we don’t grant these powers for fun, we do it when the world really needs us, and it’s not for us to decide.” It looked like she clenched her flippers into fists, though with her anatomy it was hard to tell.
Light suddenly enveloped the kwami and the charm in Alix’ hand. For a moment Alix could see the clear outline of the rest of her head, her large glowing eyes. She stood like a shining beacon for a few seconds then returned to normal. She gasped for breath, seemingly the ordeal had taken a lot out of her, whatever it was.
“What happened? Are you alright?” Alix asked conserned, walking up to hold the creature in her hands. Knowing that even if she was hurt there was nothing she could do, she simply didn’t know how she worked.
“I think someone used my powers. Someone used the other part of the charm to transform.” She gasped, she seemed horrified.
Alix looked down at the helpless creature, scared and alone, being used against her wishes. She could feel a fury burning up inside her “Ween, transform me. I promise, the only thing I’ll do is track down whoever’s using you and grab your other half out of their selfish hands!”
Ween looked surprised for a moment, she looked up into Alix’ eyes, weighing her options for a moment. Then she nodded, transforming into a beam of light, enveloping Alix.
The kwami lit up, transforming into a streak of light and entering into the charm. Alix felt herself enveloped in white light which touched against her body, running over her like a rush of warm water, then an unnatural rattling sound, followed by Ween being violently ejected away from her, landing on the ground and skipping across twice, landing against the wall.
Alix quickly dashed to her, picking up the small creature, praying that she wasn’t dead. “Are you alright!?” she saw the small thing moving its mouth, groaning in pain.
“I’m fine it’s just-“
“-just your body!? Yea I know, is your BODY alright!?” She grit her teeth at the little thing.
Ween groaned in pain trying to move “I don’t feel great.” She admitted.
“What happened?” Alix asked, taking her over to the table, lightly folding a napkin into a little bed before softly putting the creature into it.
“I’m not sure. Either I can only transform one person at a time regardless of how many pieces I’m in, or this version of me simply doesn’t have the power to transform anyone. She let her head fall back against the cloth, “I’m… useless. Broken.” her voice broke and she began lightly sobbing.
Alix’ breathing increased, she could feel the desire she had to help the creature turning into a burning need. She felt her blood boiling and her teeth grinding as she thought on what to do.
She ripped her skates off the shelf, placing them by the door and began collecting her protective gear, putting it on as violently as she could.
“What are you doing?” The kwami asked from the table, her breath still ragged and uneven.
Alix slammed the mechanism shut on her knee brace “I’m gonna go kick some ass. Gonna start with whoever’s holding your other half, then take it from there.”
Ween grunted in pain, sitting up and looking towards Alix. “You can’t. Whoever wields me is going to be superhumanly powerful. You can’t just go throw yourself at a supervillain.” Her worried tone did little to dissuade Alix.
“Whoever it is only has half of you right? So probably a subparvillain at best.” She huffed, more ready for a fight than she’d ever been.
“You could get hurt. Please, I can’t let you get hurt because of me, this isn’t your problem.”
Alix scoffed, standing up confidently and looking at her “it’s just my body that’ll get hurt right? It’s no big deal. Besides, I’m tougher than I look.”
The kwami went silent for a moment, Alix could practically see her eyes growing wider in spite of the creatures strange anatomy. She nodded to Alix. “You should wear a mask. If you fail you don’t want your enemy to identify you.”
“What? Like the other heroes? They barely cover their cheekbones and no one knows who they are! If I wear my helmet I’ll be fine.”
Ween shook her head “the masks we supply as part of our powers are more than just a piece of cloth. The mask changes the appearance of the wearer in the eyes of whoever watches them. The masks are enough because we use our magic to make it difficult, even when it’s staring right at you, to tell who someone truly is. Without that, you’ll be spotted fairly easily.”
Alix groaned, opening her closet and looking through for something she could wear. She quickly discarded most of her clothes, throwing them from the closet onto the center of the floor. Then she spotted the white outfit in the plastic bag, doomed to never be worn again, or so she’d thought.
Alix donned her Halloween costume from last year, the White Ranger, it seemed fitting. She’d even build it so the mask was part of a helmet so she could rollerblade around. It wasn’t a true copy, more of a reimagining really. After she’d started painting details on the helmet she’d had a really hard time staying on model, opting instead to freestyle.
She looked over herself in the mirror, it had been a shame that she’d only worn it once. It made her feel like a total badass, though of course she’d never admit that. She returned her safety gear on the outside of her costume and looked herself over. She was going to destroy whoever was using Ween’s other half, they didn’t stand a chance.
Alix thought for a moment, the initial righteous fury taking a backseat to a few logical questions “So, do you know where this person is?” she asked Ween.
Ween nodded “yes, I can sense them.”
“That’s great! Where are they?” she smiled, this was going to be easy.
“Based on the resonance I feel and the closeness I would say somewhere within 500 kilometers” she smiled enthusiastically.
Alix’ smile froze “but that’s… all of Paris! And then some!” she groaned, wanting to run a hand through her pink hair but touching against her smooth helmet instead. She tapped at it, thinking quickly, trying to figure out how she could track a supervillain whom she knew literally nothing about.
It dawned on her, she sat down in front of her computer which was already on the Ladyblog because she had to show Ween the other heroes. She refreshed the page and sure enough *New Hero Spotted*. She clicked the article, getting the location and a picture.
Alix smirked, looking at the picture. It was a big muscular guy, his costume was black, similar to Chat Noir but it was evident that it was piecemeal at best. Looking at the bare chest and back of the costume, Alix suddenly felt a little thankful that the transformation hadn’t worked for her, the guy looked half naked.
The black helmet strapped around his chin, the large fists and the small rounded ears made her look down at Ween “you’re a panda?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.
The kwami looked up at her confused “what else would I be?”
Alix shrugged, she was a simple woman, she saw a little slender creature with fangs and a soft voice and she assumed it was a kitten. To be fair, she hadn’t seen many panda’s in her time.
Alix looked over the image of her rival, he was posed in an open pose, raising his fists in the air and roaring like some kind of American wrestler, he looked ridiculous.
His outfit reminded her of her favorite anime character, Red Riot from Hero Academia. His bare-chested helmeted look was similar. His hands were covered in almost comically large gloves that looked cutely like bear paws.
His cute little rounded ears were so in contrast to his roaring pose that it made her smile, it was hard to imagine that he was going to be a real challenge, he looked like a complete idiot.
“Alright. Ween, lets go.” Alix grabbed the charm, putting it into her pocket and went for the door.
Alix didn’t really dream much of superpowers, flying would be neat at times, and being strong enough to fold Kim into a pretzel when he got uppity would be nice. However it’s not something she’d dreamed much about.
However if she had to choose a power she’d always liked to have, it would have to be super-speed, and it quickly became apparent that she’d actually gotten that power without ever having to ask for it.
Alix zipped through the streets like a miniature rocket, easily dashing between bikers and pedestrians without having to slow down. It had taken her a moment to realize how fast she was going, she hadn’t really seen it until she passed the school, realizing she’d bladed there in a fourth of the normal time.
She smiled to herself, suppressing the desire to ‘woo!’ as she felt every action was easier, more graceful and vastly more powerful.
She slid into the square where her rival had been seen last, seeing him in passing. He was still there, standing there looking at her. She was about to give him a piece of her mind but she realized he was disappearing from view.
Alix realized that supernatural speed didn’t necessarily come with supernatural stopping power, and the skates breaks were proving painfully slow (and possibly broken after being used at such speeds). She blushed as she saw the black clad villain looking after her with a confused expression, seeing her slipping off into an alley, hearing the screeching echo of the brakes slowly and painfully bringing her to a stop.
Alix was still going pretty fast as she entered the alley. Her eyes widened as she saw the wall approaching quickly. She was no noob at skates, and no noob at crashing either, she balled up, bracing herself for impact and felt the stone against her arms and palms. She made sure to shield her head from the worst of it.
The mild groaning of her body was manageable, she was barely scraped, but she’d wiped out pretty hard and was on the ground. The biggest bruise was definitely her ego, especially seeing her rival enter the alley with a worried expression coating his face.
“Are you alright miss!?” He asked.
“I’m fine asshole.” She answered, slowly getting up and brushing herself off. She tried to focus on the task, not on the embarrassment.
“Asshole? Miss, I’m the great Bear Daddy!” He struck a ferocious pose, almost cartoony pose.
Alix looked at him stunned for a moment, unable to phantom why he’d make a joke like that in a situation like this. She looked into his bold eyes which practically shone with determination and pride and it dawned on her, he was completely serious. She burst out in laughter.
“Hey! What’s funny? Did you hurt your head? Do you need me to get you to a hospital?” he asked innocently, which just made Alix laugh harder.
Ween flew out of Alix’ pocket, pointing a fingerless arm at the guy, “You! You should be ashamed of yourself!” she began furiously, “taking advantage of a kwami without permission, without training, without even a thought I bet!”
“Woah woah!” Bear Daddy held his hands up in front of himself defensively “I don’t know who you are but my kwami said I should go be a hero.”
The white kwami pouted angrily, Alix was sure she’d be scowling if she had eyes. She looked towards Alix for support in her fury, but looking up at the big loaf, it just seemed unlikely that he was the type to abuse a kwami. He seemed genuine, if a bit (or a lot) naïve.
Alix approached him “I don’t know Ween, maybe your other half didn’t think it was as bad an idea to be a hero?” she suggested, looking at the pouting kwami.
“Oh! You have the other half of the necklace! That’s awesome!” he smiled, holding out his necklace with the other half of the bamboo staff on it, pointing to it with a huge grin, like a child who found out someone other than him liked pudding.
Alix chuckled, whatever this guy’s reasons, he didn’t seem like a bad person, she just couldn’t get herself to believe that. She got the other half of the charm out of her pocket to show him.
As she did, the two pieces suddenly began glowing brightly. Ween yelped with surprise before she was sucked into Alix’ charm. She only got a moment to think about that, before she was rushed forward by a massive yank. She practically flew towards the guy, who seemed to be in a similar situation, looking just as worried as she probably did.
The two charms clashed in the air, melting together as though completely fixed. Alix felt herself enveloped in light, moving unwillingly and suddenly finding herself transformed into a superhero.
She looked down at her large bearhands, now connected to the rest of the suit with white latex. Thankfully the suit covered everything, sparing her of running around shirtless. She felt weird, like she was panicking but she wasn’t really thinking anything that should cause her to panic.
She took a moment to try and explore those feelings, finding that little voice in the back of her mind which was screaming “the girl! Where did the girl go! Is she alright!?” Alix pondered this for a moment, then suddenly understood.
She gave herself a patdown, quickly confirming her suspicion. She had grown about half a meter, her body had changed dramatically. “Bear… I can’t even say it with a straight face.” She heard the echoing voice inside her head “what!? Who’s there!? Is that me speaking!?”
She sighed “yea, it’s you speaking. Kind of. I think we fused into one body.” She concluded coldly, ignoring how impossible it sounded.
“WHAT!?” her mouth opened involuntarily, speaking with the same voice as she’d just spoken with, opening the same mouth. She felt her body moving, but under someone else’s control.
“Ok calm down. I’m sure it’s temporary.” She surprisingly felt the voice in the back of her mind slowly calming. He listened to her as she talked him through a quick breathing exercise. Which was strange because she was already doing it for him, so there wasn’t much need to have him know about it, still, maybe the act of being told to breathe was calming on its own, not just the breathing itself.
She closed her eyes, trying to hear him again. Instead what she heard where her own thoughts moving at double speed. “Are you there?” she nodded, “what happened, I can’t hear you anymore?” She wasn’t sure if it was her thought, or his. “I think we’re thinking as one person. We’re both thinking the same thing, kind of? Maybe. It’s weird.” They nodded again to themselves.
“So what were you even doing here?” Alix felt like she’d asked the question, but she also felt compelled to answer it with her side of the story, maybe he’d asked it just as much. Her mind was flooded with images of standing in front of a shadowey human, then lots of pain, then being pushed back into the street before seeing herself zipping past, entering the alley.
“Wait, were we fighting an akuma?” They opened their eyes wide, remembering the villain who had beaten Bear Daddy mercilessly, then seemingly left them alone. That akuma was probably still at large, probably hurting people!
Before they could start to think, they were already racing towards the akuma “wait! What about a plan!?” That thought was definitely her own. “Bear Daddy needs no plan! He just needs a target for his paw!” Alix felt a surge of incredible confidence rush through her, making her believe for a moment that this was a satisfactory answer, only for a moment though.
“We are NOT calling ourselves Bear Daddy! And we need a plan!” She grit their teeth. “Why not!? Its awe oooh!” Alix could feel her counterpart being fed with all of her reasons why it was a bad name all at once. It was like her thoughts were feeding directly into his, making him immediately understand the terrible nature of the name.
She tried to ignore how uncomfortably intimate the thought of sharing her thoughts directly with someone was, which came surprisingly easily, which was probably because of her partner’s confidence and apparent shamelessness influencing her.
“So what DO we name ourselves?” a fair thought, but one which Alix had hoped they’d had before they’d rushed further ahead. Now she found herself facing an army of inky men. They seemed to be silhouettes, some crawling along the floor, others standing two-dimensionally in the middle of the street.
Le Paon was fighting them alone, his hail of feathers were destroying the inkmen as fast as they could form, but he didn’t seem to be making any headway either.
“You! It’s dangerous for people without powers! This isn’t the time for dressup!” Le Paon yelled, in his eyes were clear worry, it was clear that he couldn’t protect a newbie in a costume while also fighting this menace alone.
“Don’t worry! The old Bear Daddy might not have had any powers aside from sweet abs and a cool costume, but now you’re dealing with Bear Daddy 2.0, Panda Storm!” Alix tried to fight against striking a power-pose, but it was too late. The incredible surge of confidence almost washed away her incredible need to die right this moment, almost.
Panda Storm, it was better than the old name and Alix didn’t have a better one off the top of her head so this was their name now appearently. They saw three ink-men approaching them menacingly.
They scoffed “three against one? That’s hardly fair for you.” They had to pause for a moment, both wanting to change it to ‘three against two’ but both deciding to drop it. They weren’t sure what kind of powers they had, but you never know until you try.
Panda Storm took a powerful step forward, Alix recognized that her counterpart knew boxing as he stepped with practiced form. They surged forward, delivering a jackhammer with their large bearpaw against the closest ink-blob, which splattered into thin strains of thick, black liquid, spraying out like a PG version of a horror-scene.
They grinned, quickly sidestepping a lazy swipe from the akuma, then delivering two quick jabs, one for each of them, splattering them across the pavement.
They raised their fists victoriously, roaring with a surge of beastial victory. Alix wanted to protest but she could feel the adrenaline pumping, the confidence surging. With every movement she found it harder to resist going along with the sheer awesomeness of the situation.
Le Paon stared at them impressed. “Don’t just stand there!” Panda Storm smiled “we’ll keep these things busy, you find a way to defeat it!” The peacock hero stood for a moment, taking in the situation, then his brain caught up and he nodded with a smile.
He unfolded his cape, taking a surge of air under himself and flew to the top of the nearest building, probably hoping to get a sense of the situation.
Meanwhile, Panda Storm looked out over the 30 or so ink monsters quickly clawing their way out of the shadows, up from the cracks in the pavement and out from behind them.
They took a defensive pose “Ready to kick some ass?” they both asked and both nodded in response. “Awesome.” They smiled as the first wave of ink rushed towards them, sidestepping with their supernatural speed and laid waste to one after another with powerful punches.
They quickly found that it didn’t take much force to break the creatures. It took all of their (mostly Alix’) willpower to stop using powerful hooks and jackhammers, opting instead for safer jabs which allowed them to keep a defensive stance and keep a level head.
The ink creatures were easy to fight back but they just kept coming. They started getting worried that there was no end to them at the fourth wave, then at the seventh they began starting to feel their movements growing sluggish.
Beads of sweat kept rolling off of them as the twelfth wave died out, replaced with another, and then another. Their mind was racing with thoughts on how to actually defeat the enemy, but they just didn’t know. As their legs began giving out and they started worrying they wouldn’t be able to run for much longer, they began feeling the split in personality for the first time since they started the fight.
“We have to get some distance. Tackle this another way!” Alix insisted. “No!” her partner yelled through their body “I can keep taking whatever this guy throws at us! I can do this all day!”
They grit their teeth “No you can’t! I know this cause I’m you! And at this rate we might have to actually DO this all day, which again, WE CANNOT!” Alix tried to yell at her partner in her own head. “I don’t back down from a challenge! I’ll take on anyone! I don’t care if you’re a bunch of blobmen or a panther! I will give my all!”
Alix felt herself freeze for a moment, which felt incredibly alien as her body kept moving under the other’s control “KIM!?” She yelled inside their head. “Hah yea! How’d you know?” he asked amused. “You have to be the only guy in Paris dumb enough to race a panther!” they laughed.
“Who are you then?” Kim asked. Alix hesitated “come on, it’s only fair right?” Kim insisted. Alix scoffed, he was such a simple guy, but that was a big part of his charm. His straight forward thinking was what made him such a good friend. “It’s Alix you moron. The skates should have tipped you off.”
This time Kim was the one to freeze while Alix took over their body, she felt herself moving into the boxing steps with practiced ease, apparently they shared abilities, even when the other was blue screening.
The blob people suddenly froze in place, then began melting into the floor. They watched carefully, getting ready in their defensive stand. “I think we beat it!” Kim thought, “no way, this is classic second stage bossfight territory. Watch, they’ll melt into a big tentacle monster or something.” Alix thought.
Le Paon walked out towards them, coming from the building that the ink seemed to have emerged from. He was covered in black ink from head to toe, and was holding a ball of feathers, weaved together like a beautiful basket.
He tried wiping the ink from his face but it was no use, he groaned, giving up on ever being fully clean again. Then looked at them with an impressed smile “Good job Panda Storm. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
They felt their hearts well up with pride at the kind words. “Of course! Happy to help!” was the compromise between Alix’ inability to take a compliment and Kim’s wanting to boast.
Le Paon looked at the weaved feathers and sighed “any of you know Ladybug? She’s the only one who can actually de-evilize these things.” He looked at their apologetic face then sighed harder “that’s alright, I’ll probably be able to find her before I detransform… somehow. Anyway, good job, happy to have another good guy in town.” He winked at them charmingly before taking to the skies, leaving a trail of black ink around him as he flew.
They watched him fly off, still feeling the afterglow of their triumph. They’d helped take down a real akuma, and they’d gotten welcomed by one of the new heroes. Alix was happy but she could feel that Kim was beyond thrilled, like his childhood dream had been realized. She smiled, allowing him to bask in the moment, trying to (and easily succeeding from their shared mind) to share his enthusiasm.
Seeing Alya and a group of other reporters approaching them, they opted to listen to Alix and leave before accidentally saying something stupid. They jumped, feeling the acid in their legs complaining, but finding themselves gaining incredible height. They were able to actually get onto a rooftop with relative ease.
“So what now?” they asked themselves. “My house is closest” they concluded, “my, Kim’s” they elaborated. They nodded, jumping quickly from roof to roof before realizing they were leaving a trail of inky footprints.
“We can’t go to your house like this!” Alix hissed, “yea! My mom would kill me if I got this on the carpet.” Alix sighed “Also every reporter would be able to find out who you are!” Alix could feel their gears slowly turning.
“Oh yea that’s true! Nice catch! Man… I wish I’d had you with me before I entered that hotdogeating contest” He concluded, their stomach growling with pain as they remembered the terrible mistake. “I WAS with you! I told you to stop! You didn’t listen!”
Kim nodded, smiling “Right! Haha I’d forgotten. Still, if you’d been in my head I think I would have listened.” Alix scoffed jokingly “yea right, when had common sense ever stopped you from doing anything.” Kim Shrugged “common sense are for normal people. When you’re as awesome as me, you have to live by different rules.” Alix was glad to be in his head, otherwise she might have seriously wondered if he was kidding or not, thankfully he was.
They found an empty alley near Kim’s house. “We should detransform here. If we’re lucky, we won’t have any of this stuff on us when we return to normal” They nodded “smart thinking!”
They smiled to themselves “thanks, and hey, worst case scenario, I’ll probably be clean and you’ll be the one who has to deal with the fallout of your rashness, ykno, for once in your life.” Alix chuckled.
They stood in the alley, focusing on their breathing, wondering how detransforming worked, if there was a password they didn’t know. Then, as they were just starting to worry, they were enveloped by light and split apart.
Alix sighed in relief, happy to be ‘single’ again. She looked down at her hand, frowning at she realized that she actually WAS covered in black ink. She groaned, looking towards Kim so they could formulate a plan. Her eyes went wide as she saw her body staring back at her with a panicked expression.
She gave herself a quick look over, quickly establishing that she was in Kim’s body.
Her mind raced with everything wrong with this situation, with every fear about not ever being able to go back. As her thoughts darkened she suddenly heard her own voice, laughing loudly besides her.
She turned to see Kim chuckling in her body while looking at her. She clenched her fist “what’s so funny!?”
Kim dried a tear from his eye, “it’s just that last thing you said. Look! I’m completely clean and you’re covered in ink. Another Swish for Kim!” He lifted her body’s arms over his head in triumph “My actions have no consequences!” he yelled boasting with obvious joking intent.
Alix found herself laughing at his idiocy, that this was the first thing he thought of when placed in her body. “Not for long you piece of…!” Alix lunged forward with her ink covered body, narrowly missing Kim who dodged out of the way.
“Hey! No fair!” He said with a mix of joy and fear.
“The only thing that wouldn’t be fair is if I have to go home covered in ink and you don’t. Come here!” She lunged for him again, trying to draw him into a massive bearhug. The fears of the consequences of being in his body was going to have to wait until after she’d shown him the error of his ways.
Chloé’s a famous and sucesful actress/musician/idol. She’s going for the Oscar Bait of playing a gay woman. She wants to nail it so she’s shadowing and interviewing actual lesbianTM Sabrina.
Sabrina’s a huge fan of Chloé’s for years and years, she was stoked to meet her idol, to get to talk to her, but meeting your heroes is always risky.
I very rarely like Chlobrina but this is a rare instance of me shipping it, just a little.
”You don’t look like a dyke Sabrina” Chloé’s accusing tone made me shrink. The academy award winning Chloé Bourgeois was talking to me. She was going to follow me around for days, I knew that actors were rarely as nice in person as they were in the roles they played, but it was dawning on me that the typically typecast ‘princess’ and romantic lead might not fit her persona at all.
I shook the thought away from me, she was just guarded around lesbians, most people are, I was just seeing the worst side of the gorgeous blonde. Besides, it seems like the thing all straight girls feared was that their gay friends were having ‘unsavory’ thoughts about them. Which I’d never done with any of my (very limited) straight friends, but maybe the gorgeous Bourgeois was able to sense my flaring childhood crush on her trying to pound against the corner of my mind with every second I looked at her.
I chuckled a response “well, lesbians look all sorts of ways, not all bald and tattooed”. Stereotypes were strange, I felt strange othering myself from the more stereotypical look, it felt like I was calling out a group of people, many of whom I knew, just by repeating what Chloé might have expected me to look like.
Chloé ran a hand through her hair, looking away from me with a sigh. I wish I knew what was going through her mind, but the scowling look in her eyes whenever we exchanged glances made me think that maybe I was better off not knowing.
“Well… if you all looked like well, dykes, then they wouldn’t have cast me to play one” she mused, inspecting my small apartment with a critical eye.
“I guess that’s true” I forced a smile, the word ‘dyke’ sending a small spike through my heart with every utterance. I wish I could find the words to tell her that.
I picked up my cup and calmed myself with the warming Saffron tea. Hoping desperately that this rocky start was not an indication of a mountain climb of a week.
“So…” Chloé drummed her fingers impatiently against the table, her perfect pink painted nails echoing through the small apartment. “How does being gay feel?”
I could only chuckle, tilting my head to the side, I’d known a version of that question would come up, but the phrasing made me reconsider my answer. “I guess… it feels a lot like being straight I’d assume? The only thing all gay people share is that we are attracted to people of our own gender. I’m guessing I feel the same way a straight girl feels when being attracted to a man, just towards women”
Chloé’s mouth became a thin line “I need to act gay in a believable way. If I just play ‘myself’ then there’s no way I’ll win another Oscar. There has to be more.” She stared holes through me, the silent intensity made my heart sink, I wasn’t sure what I could possibly tell her that would feel good enough for her.
I bit my lip “I guess most or almost all queer people have experienced some kind of fear with coming out. Feeling afraid that the people we love would find out or would turn against us if they knew. I think that fear and discomfort shapes us, that might be one of the reasons we band together. Of course lesbians seek out other lesbians for obvious reasons, but being friends with gay men for example still feels nice, comforting just to know that you’re not alone with your experience.” I sighed, looking down into my tea “might be some kind of coping mechanism, trying to make sense of some of the more problematic parts of our past.”
I wasn’t sure what expression I’d expected from Chloé after that explanation, but her statuesque glare didn’t change at all, was she hoping for something else? It’s not like I could speak for everyone, ugh… why had I decided to try speaking on the gay experience, who did I think I was!?
Chloé interrupted my stream of thoughts with another question. “When did you know?”
At least this question was specifically about me, hard to throw anyone but myself under the bus on this one. Until I realized that Chloé was going to go back to her studio and maybe make changes to the script of the first big lesbian feature film based on MY experience, what if she did and no one could relate!?
I cleared my throat; I couldn’t do anything but tell the truth “well, I guess I started figuring it out when I was 15 or 16. I’d never had much interest in boys but I thought whatever interest I had must just be what love was you know? But then I started feeling for this girl and it was so overpowering compared to anything else I’d ever experienced. The more I saw her and the more I found myself unable to deny what those feelings where.”
Chloé’s cold steely gaze was finally broken as she began looking enigmatically out of the window, looking like a masterful painting as the afternoon rays bathed her in the last of the yellow light, red lines playing across her making her look positively angelic. I could only gulp, trying not to stare and distracting myself with my tea. I was starting to understand what Alya meant when she jokingly said she felt ‘too gay to function’.
Chloé sipped her tea regally, not looking over at me “and what happened? Did you get together with her?”
I snorted “not at all, my first real crush was on a celebrity” I chuckled “never met her, not until…” I swallowed, ‘until now’ had almost slipped past my lips. Chloé seemed to have lowered her guard a bit with her, she didn’t have to know that my first practice kiss was with one of her posters.
I felt my cheeks brighten as every moment I looked at the perfect woman in front of me felt like reliving a distant memory of awakening. Why had I jumped on this chance? It was torture!
I could see Chloé pondering something; she was tasting her own mouth, grinding her teeth slightly and moving her crossed legs. I allowed the room to be silent as she thought, her looking away from me allowing me to admire her form, I knew I shouldn’t, but I’m only human.
Her expression rarely changed when she wasn’t on camera, I’d noticed this from backstage cameras and pictures. Her smile was so bright and honest on screen that one could be forgiven to think she was legitimately happy, but of course it was only proof of how great of an actress she was. In interviews she always had one of three smiles that I’d noticed through vigorous stalking when I was a diehard teenage fan.
I’d thought one of them was her fake smile back then, thinking I was a genius for being able to tell when the actress was truly happy and when she was just playing for the cameras. I was naïve though; looking at her thoughtful morose expression I came to realize that all three were almost certainly fake.
Chloé was a child star, but she’d done remarkably well compared to someone like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber or Britney Spears, the biggest controversy was the reveal that she had a temper, and would occasionally make impossible demands of interns.
Compared to the drugs, self destruction and crime that followed the other child stars, it was easy to put Chloé on a pedestal as one of the most well adjusted ones. It was possible that she was just better at hiding it though.
I remembered the first intern controversy, where Chloé had demanded one girl to get coffee from one end of New York, pick up her Dry Cleaning from another and find a specific handbag using only vague descriptions, all within an hour. The intern had been unable to properly do any of the tasks and Chloé had a serious meltdown, but her career survived that and a few other similar incidents.
I smiled, remembering writing a story in which my self insert was that intern, but I managed to actually pull off the impossible task. Then Chloé revealed that it had all been a test and as a reward I was made her personal assistant/girlfriend.
I poked fun at myself for having written such blatant self indulgent wish fulfillment as a teenager. Then, as I started comparing it to my newest work in progress, I could only sip my tea embarrassed. I’d gotten better at hiding it, but my writing was still the same self indulgent wish fulfillment, I vowed to change my ways. Filing the vow in with my vow for daily gym visits and less sugar. I added an extra spoonful of sinful sweetness to my tea.
I’d almost forgotten I wasn’t alone with my thoughts as Chloé finally spoke again. “Have you ever dated a man?”
I shook my head, sipping my tea and preparing my answer to the always fun ‘how can you know you don’t like men if you haven’t tried’.
“Do you think you could?” she looked at me, scanning me for something more than a simple answer, she really seemed like she was staring into my soul.
I shrugged nervously “I mean, I’m physically capable, but I definitely wouldn’t be happy with it. But women have married for convenience or being traded for land or cows for hundreds of years. I guess I could live miserably, tending to a man’s needs and fighting the urge to kill myself” I smiled at her.
Chloé blinked at me surprised “you’d really want to… you’d really rather-“ she whispered the last word “die…?” she looked at me concerned, worried for me.
I swallowed, remembering that ‘normal’ people probably didn’t joke about suicide the same way my friends and I did. It struck me like a bolt of lightning as I remembered that Chloé’s mother had taken her own life when the actress was still very young.
“No I… I’m sure I’d be fine…” I stuttered, feeling like I’d lit the fuse on a bomb that I had no chance of stopping, how could I be so insensitive!? I tried giving her my most sincere look “I really am fine! I’m actually in a really good place, and thankfully I don’t have to live a lie. Not that I would actually do something like that if I was forced to live in the closet, I’d be sad, but I’d live on strong” I struck my best Rosie the Riveter pose, feeling awkward as Chloé just looked at me judgingly, making me shrink.
She sighed softly and sipped her tea, thankfully seeming to have returned to her cold enigmatic demeanor. We sat in silence for a moment, allowing me to actually vow to take suicide more seriously. Gallows humor was easy to get swept up in, it was something you kind of had to develop when you spend your time with the people who were statistically the likeliest to have tried killing themselves. That didn’t mean it was a joking matter though, quite the opposite.
Chloé seemed to be thinking to herself again, something was definitely bothering her. She uncrossed then crossed her legs, her finger was scratching softly but noticeably at her cup, and her foot kept tapping at the air.
I could only imagine she was judging me, my lame kitty cups, my sparsely decorated apartment. Where was my queer eye for the gay gal? I was hopeless when it came to that kind of stuff. I was hoping she wouldn’t find someone else to shadow, someone who was a better fit for a lesbian character that looked like Chloé. Someone who had better taste, was better at doing her nails, more hard femme and importantly, someone who didn’t make triggering comments.
My shoulders sank while I emptied my cup, filling it for the third time and adding enough sugar that it should legally be sugar with tea rather than the other way around. I could feel myself growing smaller as Chloé seemed to grow more frustrated.
Chloé bit her lip softly “is it different?”
I tilted my head confused.
“Being with a woman, is it much different?”
I wasn’t sure how to begin answering that at all “um… I don’t know, I’ve never tried being with a man, don’t know how different it is exactly.”
Chloé hummed with frustration, a small streak of red color was creeping along her face, was she growing angry?
“What does it feel like? Kissing a woman?” she looked at me as though knowing was the most important thing in her life. I wasn’t sure what answer I could give that would be satisfactory, I grew increasingly certain that I didn’t know what she wanted from me.
“it’s… nice? Um… well, my first kiss felt like I was going to explode. I was so nervous and I was sure it was too good to be true, that someone actually liked me like that, that a beautiful girl could actually be interested in being with me.” I ran a hand through my hair blushing at my soppy story “She took my hand and it took my breath away, it was like everything went sort of quiet, and I could hear and feel my heart beating, not like it does when I’m tired but… I don’t know, just different.”
I closed my eyes thinking back to the moment “I remember my entire body growing tense as she stepped close to me, like I think my toes literally curled up with anticipation. Then when I finally felt her lips against mine, it felt like I could finally breathe again, like all of the tension was released by her kiss. I’d never felt so accepted, warm and in love before.” I let my finger gently touch my bottom lip, curling my toes and remembering the sensation.
I shook my head “I’m sorry I can’t describe it better… it’s kind of hard to put into words” I admitted. I always felt like such a hack when writing kissing scenes, what could be said to describe such an indescribable feeling, when it was derived from the simple act of pressing your lips against someone else’s. The act itself didn’t do itself justice, and no amount of writing could perfectly capture it, at least I couldn’t.
As I opened my eyes I was shocked to find Chloé looking dejectedly down into her teacup. She looked like a single tear would fall from her eye in a perfect cinematic scene, but of course people very rarely actually cried like that.
I hesitated to ask what was wrong, waiting for her to compose herself. Nothing about my story could have saddened her, maybe she got a message while I was zoned out, maybe her boyfriend broke up with her? I shook my head, that was impossible, they’d been together for over 5 years, possibly the only teen drama power-couple to stand the test of time, he wouldn’t break up over text.
I bit my lip as I realized Chloé wasn’t going to snap out of it anytime soon, but if I was gonna ask her if she was alright it would have been better a couple of minutes ago when I first noticed she looked like that. Was it too late for such a simple question? If I kept waiting it would be too late for any questions, we’d just sit here in the red evening sun growing increasingly miserable, Chloé for some unknown reason and me because I stressed the heck out about not knowing.
I took a deep breath “something wrong?” I attempted to give her my best sympathetic smile.
Chloé sighed deeply “even if there was I couldn’t tell you” she scratched at the image of a dopey looking tubby kitty on my mug as though petting it, her morose expression betraying her commonly stoic front. In spite of all the actresses expressions and ‘faces’ I’d experienced through my time as her fan I couldn’t think of a time I’d seen her look more genuine. It seemed that under the masks and makeup was a woman filled with sadness and regret. “Whenever I say something it always ends up online somewhere. You’d just post my feelings for a moment of fame” she sounded so factual, no hint of accusation or anger in her voice, this was simply the fact of her life.
The red light outside began slowly disappearing, the shadows of night slowly sinking over Chloé, covering her sadness the way the mask of her everyday persona soon would again. Somehow I wanted to capture this Chloé, freeze her in this moment of truth and preserve her forever just for me. I shook my head, I wanted to scold myself for being perverse but the infatuation was less perverse and more… something else, definitely creepy though.
I bit my lip, an idea of how to get Chloé to open up to me started to form, but it wasn’t a good plan. In fact it was probably a really, really bad plan. Yet every ounce of my being screamed out that I had to know what was making Chloé feel this way. Every moment they’d spend together had awoken more and more feelings from her teenage years, and as I watched Chloé’s barrier slowly come back up, her sadness being overtaken by her usual fake expression, my heart broke. If there was even a tiny chance of breaking through and helping her, I had to take it.
“Wait here!” I told her, dashing to my bedroom and picking up my secret box, then swiftly returning to the coffee table. I sat down in front of her, feeling the hot sensation of how terrible of an idea this was. Still, I was already taking the lid off my box, hiding from view my unmentionables, the idea of Chloé seeing the volume of my collection was truly horrifying to me. I quickly found what I was seeking, placing it hesitantly on the table.
Chloé looked at it with a bewildered expression. The toy on the table was a vibrating egg in the shape of a bee, Chloé looked up at me, understandably surprised. I started to wonder if she even remembered, if I’d even been right all these years.
“um… why are you showing me this?” she asked hesitantly, understandably a bit creeped out.
“I’m… returning it. It’s yours…” I swallowed, trying to ignore the hundreds of alarm bells screaming inside my head.
“It’s…” Chloé looked at the toy with sudden clarity. “You stole this?” she looked at me surprised.
I bit my lip nodding “I may have been… one of your more problematic fans a couple of years ago. In fact, I might have been the one who broke into your trailer when you shot in Kansas, stole some things…” I closed my eyes, waiting for the outrage, the accusation, the storm of vengeance upon me.
I waited for a small eternity in darkness, opening my eyes only after I started to wonder if she’d stormed out without me noticing. She surprisingly looked at me with an amused, quizzical look.
“Well… I’m glad to know my lost bee was at the least in the hands of one of my cuter fans but… why are you telling me this?” she snickered.
I wasn’t sure if she was making fun of me, but I could hardly get myself to care after she’d called me cute. I had to focus my mind to stop the flood of images of what I wanted to do with the toy and the woman in front of me.
I smiled at her sheepishly “two reasons, firstly to prove that I can keep a secret, I never even tried telling anyone about any of the things I found. The alchohol or the drugs or the toy…”
Chloé crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat, she seemed increasingly amused by the confession. “and secondly?” she asked, her eyes drilling into me like fire pokers.
“well… secondly…” I scratched at the back of my head “it wouldn’t be too hard to prove that it was me who did this, not when you knew what to look for. If you wanted you could use this to get me in serious trouble”
Chloé looked surprised and confused “so… you showed me this so I’d… get you thrown in jail?” she raised an eyebrow at me.
I snickered “course not, though Netflix tells me prison’s a great place to pick up chicks” I smiled, then returned to a more serious expression “no… what I mean to say is that I won’t spread around anything you say, I’d never share your secrets, and even if I wanted to, you have dirt on me so I can’t well just share your secrets out of fear that you’ll spread mine.”
Chloé blinked at me, giving me a confounded look. Then she snickered, her snicker turning into laughter. I marveled as she snorted from laughter, it was conventionally unattractive and uncute, but it was a part of her actual laughter. I felt as though the snorting fired an arrow through my heart as I realized that I was probably one of the only people in the world who had heard genuine ‘ugly’, beautiful laughter from the world famous starlet. I could go to jail happy now, though honestly I’d probably get a fine instead of actual jail-time, I’d been underage at the time.
Chloé laughter died down quickly, I cursed myself for not having found a way to record the perfect imperfection. She smiled at me with the most beautiful smile I’d seen from her, a real smile. She got up and crossed around the small table, sitting next to me in my sofa. I gulped, her arm was touching mine. I almost chuckled, thinking about the effect the woman had on me that her arm against mine felt like foreplay.
Chloé sighed as she looked at me “I’ve never liked Trevor”. I puzzled, her boyfriend?
“Then um… why stay with him?”
“I didn’t like any guy more, I thought that was what loving someone was, until recently” she smiled at me, melting my thoughts.
“oh…?” I wasn’t sure how to react, I was going to combust if she didn’t let me get some distance from her already.
Chloé chuckled softly “you’re kind of dense” she teased.
I smiled nervously “so I’m told” I joked.
Chloé shook her head resignedly. She placed her soft silky smooth fingers over my sweaty, clammy hand. I swallowed, drowning in her deep blue eyes. I lost the ability to breathe, to think, I noticed she was blushing.
I can’t describe the first kiss she gave me, I can’t even begin to try. But her second was the second most wonderful experience of my life.
