Hey squeaks, so this is a bit of a personal question but how do you shake that jarring feeling that anything good you have or may get will be taken away? I'm 19, about to graduate, considering going to art school and generally just a late bloomer but I can't shake this feeling that some random circumstance is going to come out of nowhere and either interrupt me forming a proper social life or take away what I already have. Do you have any advice on coping with those thoughts?
hmm, let me see what the squeaks can do!
Now as of late ive had a v e r y unhealthy thinking pattern of “Even if something bad happens, it wont matter, since good things dont matter that much anyway. good or bad events have very little effect regardless, nothing matters we’re all going to die.” NOW THAT….is like setting the foundation for some ripe prime depression. but there are some kernels of good advice within it?
When worrying about the state of the future and preserving good tides:
-Take stock of what you can, and cannot control. Realize that there are mechanisms beyond your grasp, but theres also a lot of things you can control. Focusing your energy on the things you can effect, like relationships, disposition, world view, and perseverance, saves you stress and anxiety. Instead of worrying about things that you could fret about for years with no effect, people’s thoughts about you, acceptance rates, ect, you can fill your thought space and expend energy on things that will make a difference.
-Realize the world is fickle and cyclical. good things happen. bad things happen. then good things happen again. Life has seasons of prosperity, then dull down periods. it does for everyone regardless if they show it. Acknowledging that good things dont last forever…but nether do bad things, helps you rationalize that even if something bad does occur, if something good is taken away, it can come back just as easily. The world isn’t inherently good or bad, for every negative thing, something positive will come about eventually. setting it back to equilibrium.
-Make the right assumptions based on emotion, or logic. Sometimes setting crazy high expectations warps our view of what a “good thing” can be. Adjusting your expectations first starts with balancing out your assumptions. Do you assume people are kind, and good things happen, or that people are cruel and uncaring? My General rule of thumb is “Make logic based assessments on necessities, like housing, finances and healthy social life, and emotion based assessments on supplementary features.” Logic bases assessments are cut and dry, but stable. Emotion based assessments are lively and passionate, but prone to change. Making the right judgment calls, tells me what kind of expectations i can make, and helps me secure a stable emotional track down the road regardless of what happens!