#squeed speaks

[inkysqueed]

Sending a little love your way: 🩷💌🫂💕🩷

aww thank you! doing okay so far, just busy. that darned snow...!

[inkoherentwriting]

WIP WEDNESDAY 4/9/25

Tagged by: @dirty-bosmer <33 (No Pressure) Tagging: @priafey , @druidx , @azures-grace , @hannah-heartstrings , @sylvienerevarine

@babyblueetbaemonster , @thescrolls-haveforetold , and YOU! Who I am too tired to remember to tag ;w;

...Cracked open one of last year's TESFest fics I didn't get to finish; I'm tempted to work on it in a few days... here we go! It's from Dar-Ma's point of view :3

I told myself that sitting alone in complete darkness did not bother me because I am an Argonian. Argonians are of the Hist-- as my mother told me from a young age. The Hist is like one massive tree that connects to each and every Argonian; therefore, I was currently being a root of the Hist rather than one of its leaves or branches.  Every tree keeps its roots in total darkness for as long as it lives.  I told myself this situation would turn out fine and that my mother would inevitably notice I had yet to return home. Tree roots would not let such simple things as being held captive bother them anyway, right? But these indistinguishable noises-- some which almost seemed to be voices-- that were scattered throughout my hearing made the prospect of sitting still very unsettling for me. It was worse with this metal cage keeping me trapped in one little section of Hackdirt’s cavernous underbelly. Awful, awful Hackdirt. I did not think I was capable of truly hating something-- or someone-- until I stepped foot into Hackdirt and met its inhabitants.

[inkysqueed]

Get to know your mutuals!

tagged by: @dirty-bosmer :D

tagging: not tagging anyone specific because im being lazy but CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED!

Origins of your blog name: I'll do a lightning round! inkysqueed: inkay pokemon theknightstemplar: the knights templar from fft all of which i am so normal about inkoherentwriting: still somewhat derivative of inkay but also the fact that I feel like my writing process is at times incoherent- seed-neeus: seed-neeus from oblivion, she owns and runs northern goods and trade in chorrol. i love her and her daughter

My “I’ll always order this” food: this is easy! if there's a tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich combo or loaded baked potato soup i'm always ordering one or the other.

Overused emoji: 😔 and 🥺

Comfort movie, book and show: Bee and Puppycat, both the original Youtube run or Lazy in Space. They both have their charm points to me!

Song on repeat: currently, Ocean Night from Terraria :>

Current hyperfixation: You could say Terraria right now since the Bigger and Boulder 1.4.5 update finally came out but I'd put my vote on Elder Scrolls. I've been dying inside a little trying to make a Last Dragonborn I want to play for more than two months... or more specifically, that I want to write eventually in fic. I cannot tell you what sauce has made Miraina stick around as HoK, because if I could recreate that I would 😔

Oddly specific thing that brings me joy: When Rosa (our family cat for the uninitiated) winks at me. She doesn't wink very often so it's a rare treat hehe

What smell makes me happy: lavender/lilac, wisteria, ummm new shoe smell, not gonna lie a good campfire or fireplace smells good to me too

Something I loved as a kid and secretly still do: a little oddly specific itself but this song. it's a real song!

Phone wallpaper right now: Rosa! with a bottlecap on her head.

Early bird or night owl: Night owl who night owl's so long she becomes an early bird... woops.

[inkysqueed]

Heya Inkysquinks!

We're nearly halfway through Sept! I hope things are going as well for you as you hoped, and that your glasses are fabulous. I hope you were able to get a decent job, and are otherwise persisting despite the Horrors 🧡️

I know you're on hiatus, so please don't feel any pressure to respond to this. I just wanted to let you know that someone is thinking of you, and keeping their fingers crossed 🤞️ that things work out for you.

All the best, from your friend 🫖️

I appreciate you and all of you continuing to tag me in things. bless you lot, I'll check all of them when I can!

I got my glasses on september 22nd.... I've still been getting used to them! they're a considerable jump in prescription for me, hehe. every time i look down while im walking i get dizzy now... ooomhpf... @ w @

I haven't been able to find a job yet, but I'm still looking! I think at this point I need to go get a haircut, put on some nice clothes, and ask around locally. I don't think many of the clinics where I want to get hired put job listings on the site I check....

And I do apologize for disappearing. (Something that is insanely easy for me to do as of late, for one reason or another.) I know that's not what y'all likely wanted to hear-- you've all been very understanding-- but I still wanted to apologize because I miss the interactions. I hope soon I'll feel better and I can stop going "well I need to get off the internet for a LONG while" with such great frequency.

[inkysqueed]

hiatus 3/25/26

taking a break (I know, I'm barely here as it is but that's the nature of my life at this point) because im sick and having to deal with frustrating things again

love you all, be kind to each other

[inkysqueed]

good news first! im getting anxiety meds back very soon!!

bad news, hhhghhghhhh idk WHEN...

talk of anxiety and medical/dental stuff under cut

so my current dentist is very nice and my former doctor was very nice the last time i went YEARS AGO but, i was legit so upset at the idea of being confronted with disappointment from him that i told the appointment desk over the phone that i would try a new doctor. which comes with its own anxiety! but maybe she'll be able to help me and I can get a fresh start

im trying really hard to be positive about this if it wasn't obvious. im sure she'll get access to my medical history and she'll be so understanding!

my former dentist was my "waking up" moment re: professionals don't always want to put in the effort to care about you. he was nice when i was much younger but as i got older and i didn't get better at taking care of my teeth (turns out when you're homeless and almost always financially uncertain, you give less of a crap about brushing your teeth) he got more and more... not outright nasty, but very dismissive and curt with me. and it hurt. it hurt really bad, i used to like him! but i switched dentists and moved on.

unfortunately. this is why i switched doctors as said earlier. im not sure my former doctor, who has been my family's doctor for years, would have been so rude or dismissive but the mere thought of it made me sick to my stomach since now i know how overwhelming it feels to already be scared and have someone dismiss something you cannot help expressing.

and also, i kind of wanted to see if having a different doctor would make it less awkward to talk about. idk. if i have endometriosis or something related to my biologies

fingers crossed, i'll finally be able to post again because i can function. i don't think i'll ever recapture the amount of fervor for being online that i had in high school but i miss y'all so much!

and that's the daily inky. the dinky. love you all take care be nice to yourself bye byeee

[inkysqueed]

Things go from bad to worse nowadays

I may lose internet soon.

It's not my decision to make since I'm not paying for connection at all and I support it even if it sounds horribly lonesome for me.

Long story short our electric bill is high this time around and unfortunately coincides with another surgery that my dad is going to undertake to fix his eyesight. (2 out of 3 surgeries if I'm correct) My dad is still the only one working. My mom may as well be disabled. I went to graduate so I could look for a medical coding job only to find out that I was misinformed by three different advisors at the college. I still have at LEAST one more class in the fall to take. (Furious does not begin to describe how I feel.)

I don't have a monetary goal in mind because it doesn't feel right to ask for money right after the laptop fundraiser but.... if you want me to draw something for money I could? It probably won't be big. Just icons, doodles, or maybe Final Fantasy Tactics style sprites. (I used to do those a LOT back in my deviantart days.) DM me for art examples.

Or I could write you a thing. I'm a way better writer than I am an artist. I dunno. I feel awful even asking-- but if I have to choose between my pride and having my needs/wants met... I choose the latter.

[inkysqueed]

i'd be so prolific if i wasn't so so tired