For those unaware, I sometimes look at famous tickle scenes in movies/tv and wonder what they would be like with other characters and settings. The first time I did this, people really seemed to like it….much more than I thought they would!
So for my next attempt, I decided I’d take that weird-ass tickle monster scene from the Raggedy Ann movie…you know the one…
And do a variation on that with...
….some seafaring Shantae characters!
Ocean spray peppered Shantae’s face while entire islands sailed past her. Wrench was carrying her and her friends…Bolo, Sky, and of course Rottytops…out to sea, in a pulse-pounding chase after Risky Boots’ new and improved Tinkertug vessel. And though the four of them were almost too much for the bird to carry, it was still faster than sailing.
Static noise buzzed on and off from a pink crystal ball in Shantae’s hands. She’d been practicing with it but still had difficulty getting a signal. Inside the sphere swam the face of her Uncle Mimic.
“She can’t be too far out now. You’ve got to bring that treasure back!” he told her.
“I’m just glad the Ammo Baron doesn’t have the Shock Battery anymore. If there’s anyone who doesn’t need that kind of firepower, it’s him!” the half-genie hero replied. Wrench dove closer to the blue sea and shredded the surface with the tips of his wings.
“Ohhh, in Risky’s hands it may be just as dangerous!” Uncle Mimic, Shantae thought, always worried too much. “That Battery could power an entire fleet of Tinkertugs til the cows come home!”
“Oh, Uncle, we’ve got it under control! We deal with Risky all the time. Just you wait. Back before you know it!”
Excited for the mission ahead, Shantae waved her hand, dissipating the noisy image inside the crystal ball, and stuffed it in her pocket.
“There she is! Up ahead!” cried Sky, pointing forward. They were rapidly gaining on Risky’s ship, all alone on the horizon. Shantae eagerly gripped the feathers on Wrench’s neck and bent forward.
"WOOHOO!!!!"
A triumphant holler rang out over the open sea, and Risky Boots' eyes darted skyward. She had mere seconds to dive out of the way before Wrench's claws crashed down onto the deck of her ship and threw wobbly Tinkerbats all over the place. Her four heroic foils all leapt from their carrier bird's back in perfect formation, taking extra care to strike a dramatic pose, and Wrench immediately shrank down to size in a puff of purple-and-blue feathers. He perched on his master's outstretched arm and trilled at the simmering Pirate Queen.
"Ret-2-Go!" Shantae yelled.
"Heh-Heh...oh, you're still doing the battle cry thing? Cute. I was wondering when you losers would show up," Risky laughed. Her hat had gone askew as she dodged Wrench's assault, and she straightened it with a flirtatious lick of her lips.
Bolo readied his grappling hook.
"Alrighty now! Give back the Shock Battery, you confusingly gorgeous criminal woman!"
Rotty slapped him.
"Ha-Ha! Or what?" Risky drew her cutlass, and her Tinkerbats swarmed in formation around her. "I gotta admit...stealing this was way too easy. And I've been itching for a fight."
Her weak little minions retrieved whatever daggers and ropes they could lay their hands on. One tripped trying to lift a cannonball. It was an old-fashioned stare-down as combatants locked eyes, two armies opposed beneath the blazing sun.
But before anyone could launch a projectile, swing a sword, or whip their hair back and forth, all of them paused. A soft gurgling noise was coming up from below. Definitely not from Risky's ship. Making sure to keep their weapons pointed at each other, the two leaders glanced over the edge of the ship, and saw a mass of teeming bubbles and sea foam, growing bigger and bigger by the second. Something was coming up.
From beneath the sea there rose a crimson hill, like the top half of a massive dodgeball, equipped with a strange mechanical saddle. There were two round, yellow eyes, familiar ones, at the lip of the water, which stared intently at the pirate ship's passengers. It was the Squid Baron!
Astride this odd craft was the Ammo Baron, holding a pair of reins, and flanked by his two young recruits, Twitch and Vinegar. The water which sloughed from their clothing didn't seem to bother them in the slightest...they were downright determined and eager. The Ammo Baron practiced his evil laugh as the ocean around him came to rest.
"HA-HA HA-HA HA!! We've got you now, Risky Boots! Ooo, and it looks like her saucy little genie pal is here to join the fun too!" he chortled.
"Squid Baron?!" exclaimed Shantae. "What are you doing with this guy?"
A froth of bubbles blew up from the water with a gurgling, splashy sound. Apparently the Squid had tried to say something without lifting his mouth out of the ocean first.
"We're teamed up now!" Ammo helpfully explained. "I got him some souped-up new tricks, and he's gonna help me get my stuff back!"
"Hand over the Battery, simpletons! There's nowhere for you to split!" Vinegar called out.
"We've got you completely surrounded!" complied Twitch.
The Baron and his accomplices seemed totally unfazed by the fact that they were relatively low in the water, with a cannon staring them directly in the face. Shantae wasn't sure whether or not she should say something. Sky just facepalmed and shook her head.
"Pfff! Who do you think you're kidding, honey?" Risky scoffed. "If you couldn't even be bothered to lock this booty up..." (...she put a very uncomfortable emphasis on that word...) "...there's no way in heck you're gettin' it back! Now hop it! I'm busy with this one!"
But the trio of cantankerous soldiers showed no indication of leaving. In fact, their wicked grins only grew in size. Bubbles rose from the Squid Baron's area, as if he was laughing beneath the waves.
"Heh-Heh-Heh...you asked for it!"
Suddenly, the whole sea around them rumbled. Squid Baron's head was all aglow with soft orange light, vibrating and bouncing faster and faster, until his riders could barley hold onto their saddle.
Out of nowhere the red, bulbous ball of rubber stretched high enough to blot out the sun, and his tentacles...once merely 8 in number...had multiplied, extended to a much greater length than his head, grown thick with muscle. Laid end-to-end, from the tips of his arms to the top of his head, this newly-formed Squid Baron would have even dwarfed the Empress Siren in size.
“Whoa! That’s no Squid Baron…that’s a Kraken Baron!” Rottytops yelped.
“HA HA HA HA!! Check me out now, ladies!” The Squid Baron’s greatly-deepened voice shook the ships and rattled the skyline. “Who’s a ‘filler boss’ now?! Not this guy! I’m the Final Boss I always wanted to be!”
“What happened to him?!” Sky was more grossed-out than afraid.
“Nice, right?” the Ammo Baron laughed in reply. “It’s amazing what some half-genies’ll do for a couple bucks!”
“Ok, Squiddy…” began Twitch, striking a pose.
“…pick ‘em up!” finished Vinegar.
A hail of blood-red arms rained down and battered the deck of the ship. The Squid’s increased number of limbs slithered down along the floorboards, reaching for any stray arm or leg they could find, and…aha! found another one…yanked their prey into the air. The pirates and heroes all dove for cover, but one by one they were all snatched. Just as Bolo flew into the rafters with a loud holler, another tentacle reached for Rottytops.
“Heeyah!” The zombie girl swung her leg around to kick the grabby Baron, but his hide was too tough…as soon as her foot struck, the force reverberated through her, and her whole limb popped off and flew across the deck.
Oops.
Rotty’s eyes bulged just in time for her to get a good view of her impending makeout session with the mottled floor. She squeaked at the impact. Before her leg could even attempt crawling back to her, both pieces of her body were hauled skyward by the cackling Squid.
“Put me down you, gross weirdo!” Rottytops wailed.
Soon, everyone was in the air, held over the ship, but Risky herself…and Shantae…were nowhere to be seen. They had ran.
"Got 'em!" Vinegar shouted in triumph.
"Woohoo!" Twitch thrilled at watching them struggle.
“Ok! Ok! Drumroll!” called out the Ammo Baron. “Ready…
....aim…
...TICKLE!”
One of the mutant Squid Baron’s tendrils reached down and began to wiggle near Bolo’s armpit. He didn’t resist for long.
“PppfffHa-Haaaa! Woo-Hoo! Haha!” Bolo cackled.
“AH!! Heheh-Heheh Heh! *gasp* Aheh-Heh! Ah-Heh! Ha-Ha Ha-Ha Ha!” Rottytops shrieked and burst into giggles. One slimy tentacle was poking around the zombie girl’s belly button...this is soooo gross!! she thought. And another one had pulled the boot from Rotty’s detached leg and was going after her foot.
“Wait…wait-Eh; Ha-Ha Ha!” yelped Bolo.
“Heh, Haha-Ha-Ha Ha! Wre…Wrench, Heh-Heh-Help!!” Sky cried out. She struggled to push the monster Baron’s arms away, but they all kept shoving until they forced their way into the bird-trainer’s shirt, squeezing mercilessly around her ribcage.
“Ha-Haaaaa, Ha!” bellowed the Ammo Baron from atop his unconventional steed. "Now the Battery is mine!"
They might have been left out of the “action,” but Twitch and Vinegar were dying from laughter of their own - the mischievous mechanics found themselves reduced to hysterics, watching their boss’ foes tickle-tortured into submission. The pair nearly slipped and fell off the Squid Baron’s round dome, so overcome were they with sadistic glee.
Slowly, a creaky, upturned lifeboat lifted itself off the deck of the ship…barely a few inches. None of the villains could possibly have seen it. There, hiding from sight and forced to watch Shantae’s friends suffer, were the Pirate Queen and the half-genie hero herself.
“Gah…quit shoving! He’ll see us!” whispered Risky angrily, elbowing Shantae in the shoulder.
“Are you happy now, Risky?!” Shantae hissed back. “He was following you this whole time! This is why you don't steal from people! Just look what he’s doing to your crew!! Don't you care?!”
Risky looked out at the spectacle. Among his field of laughing victims, the Squid Baron was holding a few Tinkerbats aloft and relentlessly attempting to tickle them too, but the little minions just hung there and blinked stupidly. It wasn’t exactly a moving sight.
Still, Risky expressed a heavy sigh and squeezed her eyes tightly.
“Ugh…look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want all of you guys to get mixed up in this,” she grumbled. The attempt to be nice was killing her. But she knew Shantae was her only chance at stopping this guy. Outside their hermit hole, Risky could hear the Barons’ victims continue to cackle themselves silly.
“Heheh-Heheh Haha! *gasp* AAAHHH! *gasp* Aha-Ha Ha-Ha! Make it stop! Make it stop!” squealed Rottytops. The tips of the Squid’s tentacles dug into the arches of her green-skinned feet and were tickling her mercilessly.
“Pffff! Heh-HA-Ha-Haaaaa; Heehee-Hee!” Bolo had a loud, raspy belly laugh, despite not actually being all that ticklish.
“Nnnn…this is so wrong! I’m so ticklish I can’t even watch!” Shantae confessed, shivering. Risky tried not to look too sympathetic, even as a bead of sweat trickled out of her bandana.
But suddenly, the two heard another voice.
“Hey! Look who’s hiding down there!!” The Ammo Baron?
“Oh no,” Risky gulped.
Blazing light spilled down onto their backs as their protective shell of a dinghy was pried away. Risky leapt up and drew her cutlass, but was unable to stave off the monster’s limbs. Before she and Shantae could react, they were scooped up by the Squid and held aloft, high among the sails.
“Gahhh, let us go!”
“Now tickle ‘em!” the Ammo Baron called, and his new partner obeyed.
“AAAHHH; HA-HA HA-HA HA-HA!!! Oho Ho-Ho Ha-Ha Ha!! Stop! STOP IT!” Risky Boots immediately began to scream. A tentacle was writhing all over her pale lavender tummy, in every tender spot it could find, poking between each one of her ribs and making her flail like a crab stuck on its back. Under that haughty exterior, the Pirate Queen was deathly ticklish, and even the smallest touches brought tears to her eyes as she laughed uncontrollably.
Snaking red tubes encircled Shantae’s limbs too, pulling her in all directions, and wiggled behind her knees. They prodded her hips, dug into her armpits, and even tickled between her toes when her shoe fell off.
“Ha-Ha Ha, Ha-AAAAH, Hihih-Haha Ha-Ha! *gasp* Heehee! AH-Ha Ha-Ha Ha! Ok, I give up! Uncle! Uncle!” the poor half-genie cried out in laughter.
The crystal ball in her pocket crackled.
“Uhhh, yes? What is it?” Uncle Mimic responded.
The heroes and their villain were all driven to utterly helpless hysterics. There wasn't a ship around for miles, and Shantae's crew had failed to bring any pike balls or thunder clouds, or anything that might actually be useful in stopping a massive tickle-monster octopus at the behest of a crazy general with a grudge. Risky knew, as a feeling like hot sandpaper ground the inside of her heaving lungs, that she would have to surrender.
But unbeknownst to everyone else, Wrench had listened. And he had a plan.
The Squid Baron, while his arms held his tickle toys aloft, was slowly drifting in circumference around the modest Tinkertug. He'd started to port side of the deck, shimmied his way around the bow, and was now on the other side. All Wrench had to do was wait until they got into position.
The bird let out a determined cawww! and flew in a high arc. His aerial dance caught the eyes of the two Barons, but they merely snorted. After all, what could a pet bird possibly do without his size-changing caramel? Another one of the squid's mighty arms mockingly lashed out at the little blue creature, but he skillfully zipped between them and crashed through the window of Risky's cabin.
It was a bit of a pigsty, strewn with god-knows-how-many neglected maps, charts, books, and cracked treasure chests. Far too much space was devoted to a fancy bathtub. But there was also a crude little device...something like a TV remote, sitting beside Risky's desk.
It was a booby-trap the pirate had pulled on Wrench's pursuits many times before. With a push of the button, three panels opened up in the floor of the cabin. Gears below deck clunked and whirred as they slowly hoisted hidden platforms into the room.
And when he saw what had happened, as he rounded the windows, the Squid Baron’s maniacal laugh disappeared. Three massive cannons were pointed directly at his face. And there was Wrench, holding the detonator in his beak.
“Oh, poop-nuggets.”
KA-BLAM!!!
The fiery belch of the ship’s guns threw Ammo Baron and his minions onto the deck. Recoiling in a white flash of damage, Squid Baron dropped his victims on top of his employers and zipped backwards in the water.
“NOOOO!” the great boss monster bellowed. “But I already sent 8x10 glossies of my gorgeous new body out to the merchandise people!!! T-shirts…drink coasters…decorative toaster cozies!!!!”
Flashing white and spilling sparks everywhere, the Squid Baron's massive form didn't explode, but popped like a balloon, revealing his original body underneath, hanging in the air behind Risky's ship.
"Uh-oh."
With those undignified final words, the octopus plummeted down like a rock and disappeared beneath the waves.
Back on the deck, the Ammo Baron groaned. He rubbed his large, singular eyelid in pain, followed by Twitch and Vinegar. They could still feel the heat of the explosion on their backs. Their world was dizzy and silent. Until a sharp glint of light, hanging onto a curved blade, pounded into wood and sliced off the end of the Baron's goatee. The three gradually stirred and looked up to find themselves surrounded...Shantae, her friends, Risky, and the Tinkerbats were all furious, and waiting.
"So..." Risky began, smirking. "...what should we do with you?"
-------
“GAHHH! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!” roared the Ammo Baron.
“Sorry, Baron! No more room up top!” Sky replied in a mocking, sing-songy tone.
Wrench had, with the help of some extra salted caramel, returned to massive size once more, and was eagerly carrying his owner and her friends over the sea. Sun was setting, and the salty ocean air had withered down to a breeze. The Ammo Baron, however, was uncomfortably tied to Wrench’s breast like the figurehead of a ship, his legs dangling awkwardly into the clouds. Every couple of seconds, the extra weight caused Wrench to dip slightly, and the cycloptic warlord screamed like a girl.
“I still think we should’ve stuck a fishtail and a clamshell bra on him,” Rottytops mused.
“Hey, Baron! You better hold still down there…” Shantae warned him. “After all…”
Against his better judgment, the Ammo Baron looked down at the solid mile between him and the sharp rocks.
“…Wrench is ticklish too!”
Twitch and Vinegar, on the other hand, found themselves tied to the mast of Risky’s ship. Shantae had promised her eternal rival to look the other way and let her exact all the revenge she wanted…in exchange for the Shock Battery. To her great surprise, it was a price that Risky had been willing to pay.
Night had fully fallen as the ship drifted back toward Scuttle Town. Tinkerbats swung like monkeys from the lanterns.
“Grrr…you better let us go or our boss is gonna come after you!” Vinegar snapped. Twitch spit aggressively on the floor.
But Risky merely smirked.
“Oh, old Ammo is gonna be busy for a while. You’re stuck with me til I get back to town, sweeties.”
Twitch & Vinegar could feel all the Tinkerbats lazily eyeing them up.
“…so what are you gonna do with us?” Twitch demanded. Both girls were simultaneously angry and nervous, and it showed. Knowing Risky, they expected something humiliating…probably a grandiose bad-guy speech to go along with it…but the Pirate Queen didn’t say anything. She stepped forward, leaned down, playfully cradled Vinegar’s chin in her hand, and smiled that damn arrogant smile.
From under her tricorn, she pulled out a long, soft-looking red feather, and just waved it back and forth in the dancing firelight.
The blondes looked horrified.
“…no…y-you wouldn’t…” stammered Vinegar.
--------
None of the mermaids in their nearby coves got any sleep that night. All throughout the evening, they swore they could hear what sounded like loud shrieks of laughter coming from above the water.
All of my recent fics/posts end up being longer than I planned them to, and longer than my initial writings on this blog. Is this a decent length for a tickle post? I really gotta rein it in or this'll eat up all of my time. lol
