#squirrel stories

[patricksgibson]

it's not just 2 squirrels in the tree, I just saw 4 of them! idk if it's the same family from the spring but I'm kinda hoping it is 🥺

[patricksgibson]

we have squirrels in our backyard tree again!!

[dramatic-squirrel]

Despite my URL, I am not a huge fan of squirrels. Let me tell you, I go to school on a campus that is overrun by squirrels. I was walking to class one morning and I saw a pack of like 15 squirrels, all together, taking over the sidewalk.

I have on two separate occasions almost punted a squirrel because they jumped out in front of me as I was walking. 

I once had a standoff with a squirrel because she/he would not move away. I did that awkward shuffle dance you do with people, where you are going in opposite directions but your in each other's way so, you move to the side but, they move at the same time, only to accidentally block your path forward again. I did that, but with a squirrel.

Then there was the time where I was in Lecture and a squirrel started running through the auditorium. Why was the squirrel inside? Weren’t the doors closed? Is no one going to stop it? None of those questions got answered but the squirrel did pass right in front of me before leaving. The rest of the week you could hear the squirrel in the air vents or somewhere else in the building.

[squirrelscroll-blog]

My mom and I were out on the patio where I’m house sitting, when suddenly there was a little crash in the window from the inside. I thought one of the dogs had gone nuts, and when I went inside I did indeed find one of them racing around the living room. CHASING A SQUIRREL. I got her out of there, but the poor squirrel was still so terrified. It was trying to jump through a closed window. Then it tried to climb a wall. We opened the doors and it eventually got outside but. POOR DARLING.

[windandwater]

southerngaelic replied to your post:

I must reiterate that your dad is awesome.

he's such a dick. three true stories:

1. The squirrels at home are literally lying splayed on the ground because it's so hot and he's like "lol SUFFER YOU BASTARDS" and joking about poisoning them.

2. When I was really little he tried to teach me that another name for squirrels was "kill its" so that whenever one ran across the yard I would yell "KILL IT KILL IT."

3. He also used to call them "bushy-tailed rats" interchangeably with "squirrels" and I never thought it was funny or very strange and it wasn't until I was in my twenties that I realized fully how weird that is.

[jessannecollins]

a squirrel story

Apparently, today is Squirrel Appreciation Day (#squirrelday). A way it is suggested one observes #squirrelday is to share one's "squirrel story." So, ok.

I went to college in an arboretum, more or less. Which is a terribly obnoxious thing to say, but, it's true. There were a lot of trees on campus, fancy ones, etc. And also there were a LOT of squirrels. They were famous for doing really bold things. I guess it was their safe space too.

One morning I was walking to work really early. It was a bright spring day. I was not a morning person, but I was kind of almost enjoying the morning. Then, suddenly, this thing hit the ground about one foot in front of me. WHAM! Really hard. I jumped and stopped dead in my tracks. WTF! A meteorite! No, it was a squirrel.

I stood there staring at him. My heart was racing. He was curled up in an awful little ball. I looked around, wondering what to do, and there was another girl about 10 paces behind me, and she was standing there staring at him. We looked at each other.

"What should we do?!" one of us said. "Do we call Public Safety??"

Poor guy. Such a little body, and he hit the ground with so much force, I would have thought he weighed 10 pounds. The branch he'd fallen from was super high. Important trees, like I said.

I looked back at him. I almost wanted to laugh, because I was thinking about what would have happened if he'd fallen 12 inches closer/1 second later. If he had hit me in the head, I'm pretty sure he would have knocked me out at least. Now THAT would be a squirrel story for a future #squirrelday. But I didn't laugh because it was horrible, poor little guy. He was obviously a goner.

Then, he opened his eyes. The girl and I looked at each other. He looked at us. He uncurled, and got up, and slowly walked off into the bushes. A little unsteadily, but fairly casual. The girl shrugged and continued on her way, and I watched him for a minute more and then I went on mine.

Later I went back by and looked in the bushes for him. I thought I would probably find him curled up dead, but I didn't. I guess he made it, after all.