#st:w

[leifor]

@jittery-glittery this is for you! Winona taking a selfie with her new bff Sarek (could be a spoiler from The Door aklfhlkfhlfk)

Once again, thank you for your super nice message! Enjoy this silly doodle

[leifor]

I’d like to thank all the ST:W readers for being... ST:W readers. I love you, and I still love this fic. Thank you for sticking around

This is for you - how a certain chapter could have ended... This was kind of hard to draw ;;

(if you’d like to read The Mirror and The Wall, click here)

[leifor]

moderndaymarauder replied to your post “I saw your post about no one caring about The Wall, I wanted you to...”

Your version of Marlena Moreau is the version who entered my headcanon and the reason she's so prominent in so many of my AU concepts

thank you for saying this! i wrote her as the kind of character i would like to see and relate to in cinema

this wasn't a request but i pretended it was and drew her anyway ahkflskfj

[leifor]

I know no one cares about The Wall anymore and it’s okay, it was written a year ago - but I was suddenly in the mood to share one of my favourite bits.

Spock told himself self-pity was a wasteful indulgence he didn’t earn, and yet… and yet.

Once, they were transporting a Betazoid ambassador on the Enterprise. As people interested in science, Loreen and Spock found a lot of common points of interest and spent much off-duty time together. One of their more intellectually stimulating discussions was about the evolution of empathy and telepathy and advantages of one compared to the other, which smoothly transformed into a more personal conversation where Loreen shared the troubles her mind was plagued with after the death of her father and brother.

“How do you do that? How do you bear so much pain?” She asked quietly, her black eyes warm with bittersweet reminiscence.

Spock would have evaded the answer in other circumstances, but the constant yearning to help whoever was in need that formed the entirety of his conscious life prevailed.

“You accept pain as a part of who you are,” he told Loreen, “integrate it within yourself until it does not intrude your mind anymore. This is the Vulcan way.”

[...]

As a child, he used to suffer because he couldn’t find anyone who would accept him, but it became easier the moment he understood the root of suffering. Vulcan discipline helped him.

Accept it and move on.

So why is it my favourite?

You might call me repetitive, but there is a very specific feeling I usually try to convey in my stories (if the plot/characters are suitable): that moment when you’re burdened by thoughts of self-worthlessness, and you’re sad, maybe even crying (I mean I usually do lol) - and then it reaches that freeing moment of pure acceptance. I look in the mirror and see my face, and I accept that I’m a piece of shit as a fact, and it becomes so much easier to bear. Because why would you cry about a fact, right? Integrate it -> accept it -> move on.

I don’t want to sound like I’m encouraging people to give up on everything, but there’s certain beauty in realizing your actual worth, you know.

Breaking news: a writer channels her emotions through fictional characters aklhakjflkfsjlk;

[leifor]

i was writing that post and was like

Wait

Is The Wall really a year old??

Turns out it is, the first chapter was published on Feb 24

I missed its birthday T______T

[leifor]

ST:M verse Janice Rand appreciation post, with a baby Saavik cameo

The dandelion dress is from chapter 7 of ST:W

[leifor]

Jim span around, nearly tripping on his own feet.

“Saavik? Our Saavik?!”

“The fact we knew about her existence before she was born does not make her ours,” Spock said, but there was a barely noticeable humourous tilt in his voice. “However, you are correct; I have reasons to believe it is Saavik Ambassador Spock spoke of.”

I loved writing this looking-at-holo scene because I could finally introduce another character, our favourite child, Saavik

From chapter 6 of The Wall

[leifor]

I don’t give up on the idea of drawing an illustation/poster for every chapter of The Wall.

This one is for chapter 9, The Lifetime (of regret)