#st. bernards

[nekomura-chanzu]

When I saw the prompt barrel the first thing that came to my mind are those giant doggos with their tiny barrels on their necks.

[wickedwitchofthewilds]

@bearly-tolerable My babies

Top L to R: Arizona and Edie (sisters), Kali (Baby), Marie (I thought he was a girl when I named him)

Bottom L to R: MaeMae and her sons, Lil Mae and Shadow

[shakeymcshakespeare]

r/todayilearned - TIL: There were 4 dogs used in the film “Cujo” and they all had to have their tails tied down by fishing wire to make them appear menacing because they were all wagging their tails the entire time.

54,702 votes and 608 comments so far on Reddit

I grew up with a St. Bernard. They’re giant love muffins who are bred to be empathetic.  Terrible watchdogs because if somebody breaks into your house the St. Bernard will probably lead the burglar to the silver because he wants the burglar to be happy.   

[racingtoaredlight]

closing bell: on this day: march 16th, 2018: friday drugs: march madness

Thank you all and have a grand weekend.

Good riddance to you all, you piles of trash and feces.

[buffylandlove]

[grismercat]

BREAKING NEWS - HERO DACHSHUND

A little dog is being hailed a hero for saving his much larger buddy. One Dachshund’s persistence led to a dramatic water rescue of a St. Bernard.

Belen firefighters and police officers raced to the rescue to save Tim Chavez’s St. Bernard named Jazzy. Chavez believes the 180-pound dog was stuck in a cold, muddy ditch for about 18 hours.

Chavez’s tiny Dachshund named Razor is credited with making the rescue happen.

[trustmynavigaytion]

My baby girls are cuddling up with me for the night~

[daysofthrobbinggristle]

39

The rest of the night’s a jigsaw puzzle.

Joe drove us away from Dodd Mansion—away from the entire foul area. To this day, I don’t understand how anyone on LSD can drive, but that was Joe, worth a hundred St. Bernards to me.

Still in a ball, I finally opened fuzzy eyes at some point. VW engine, which ordinarily jarred, now purred, and I felt strangely safe. For I was.

“I feel...” Jill was sitting shotgun. “Weird,” she decided. She was peaceful too.

Joe would have none of it. “Don’t,” he commanded.

“Like—”

“It’s an illusion.”

I stayed silent. After all, how did I know they knew I was in the back? And I didn’t want to frighten them. I closed my eyes again. May as well. Thoughts took turns flying in waves through sky within skull, flocks of birds, followed by clouds of bats. No longer in fear, my heart slowed down.

Joe drove us to his suburb—Kaiser Lake Forest, located across Kaiser Lake from the general area where I lived. KLF was an older neighbourhood, whose plunger cutter architecture and enslaved vegetation all looked exhausted compared to Stony Forest. There was also, this New Year’s night, empty streets and fog, which LSD transformed into leaves marching up and down streets. Spanish moss creeping from oak and cypress. Houses with thatch roofs. Soon, frogs wearing glasses, moles in waistcoasts, and rabbits speaking simple accents.

Joe parked near a small park next to the lake. It was unspectacular but placid. Jill and I followed him to the shore. The holiday night was quiet. I was tempted to imagine ghosts. Would it ever end? And is this how religions begin? I started to shiver.

We sat at a bench. Listened to water lap at our feet. Breathed in starlight from dots of ice high up.

“How much longer is this gonna last?” asked Jill, receiving my thoughts, making a different face every five seconds.

“Not long,” lied Joe. We were grateful.

“I feel so good right now.” Jill closed her eyes. Crystals rested on freckles. “I kinda … almost don’t want it to end.”

“Don’t worry,” said Joe, wisely ignoring her.

“Who were those people?” I asked. I couldn’t stop shivering. And I don’t think it was the acid. “What’s Trent doing with them? Why—”

“Shhh!” Joe would ignore me too? I never felt so betrayed.

Jill disappeared. I looked for her; looked behind. She was running. She’d become an explosion of energy. She headed for the playground, past the seesaws, monkey bars, spring riders. No, Jill wanted only the swingset.

Kicking the ground with each swing, she ascended higher and higher, holding on for dear life as she leant back as far as she could in order to climb higher still. I was confident she’d fail to right herself up in time and hit the ground and snap her bloody neck. Not to sound insensitive, but who wants to get it on with a doormat?

“Should we stop her?” I looked at Jim.

“No. She’s cool.” He turned to sit backwards on the bench. I followed suit. Joe watched the giggling maniac. So did I.

Eventually, Jill stopped trying to fly. She kept herself steady, letting gravity do its slow job, her hair whipping back and forth—a tapered ghost, I thought, briefly poetic. Chains creaked. Skin turned dark with hot blood. Would she detonate?

Once more, I closed my eyes. Acid tracers were winding down, but revolting imagery was non-stop. I heard Joe’s breathing, and felt my chest as I wrapped my arms round myself for warmth.

True to Joe’s sentiment, Jill stopped swinging, resting her intact self in the swing seat, feet off ground, hovering. Joe stared. “She’s pretty.”

His whisper overwhelmed. “Who were those people?” I gulped, throat raw, unable to stop shakes and now sweat.

“From Downtown. Trent met Scott at The Bunker—I don know, six months ago? Guy makes good acid, but he and that woman of his are trouble, like I told you. I told Trent too but he doesn’t care about anyone but Trent. I got a bad feeling, y’know?”

“What?”

“I got a bad feelin he’s gonna start dealin for Scott.”

“Trent? Crime takes confidence. He doesn’t strike me—”

“Yeah, but you don know him like I do. You don know what we know. Every moron we know does acid. Scott makes good hit. He and Trent could make a pretty penny off us so-called rich kids. That’s what Scott always calls us. I don know—I hope I’m wrong. And after tonight, if he goes through with it, I’ll kill him. I mean, look at us. CO2! Spooked out of our goddam minds!” Even Joe was about to lose it now. He forced himself back together. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Look!” Jill sprung from her seat, pointing to the horizon. The sun was starting to rise. How long had we been here? Did it matter? Jill ran towards the sun, screaming. “It’s so beautiful!”

As yellow Apollo swelled, light advanced on a primitive land, revealing beasts thought to be extinct. I coughed. I had to stand up. I sat down. I clutched icy grass. Turned into an insect. Joe couldn’t save me anymore. He was too busy watching Jill, dancing for her God in ecstatic circles.

You can have me, a thought possessed. Just stop this. Stop the shakes and the cold and the debased mind. I closed my eyes. For the final time? Certainly, the shivering stopped and the body turned numb, and I couldn’t help feeling content, as though I’d obeyed some natural law.

Jill started taking off her clothes. Jim raced into action. Jill made formidable noises; fought to be free of Joe’s hold, even scratching his forearms. Red shrieks shot through the dawn.

Acid is impenetrable. You question everything, including why you’re questioning everything. You confuse ecstasy for insight; terror for reality. Joe was right. It was all an illusion. Acid made me see that. No, reality, warts and all, was preferable to seeing God in a drop of water. And if God exists, won’t I see Him in time, anyway, when time ends quite on its own? Now I didn’t want to die whilst still alive. I just wanted the bloody light show to end.

At some point, Joe took me home.

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