Un-disappointed
Pairing: Steve Harrington x self conscious!reader
Summary: Steve wants reader to stay over but she is scared she won’t be able to fulfill his ‘first time staying over’ expectations.
Warnings: mentions of body image problems, stretch marks, general self consciousness. Fluffffff.
A/N: I wrote! I wrote I wrote I wrote I wrote I wrote!! I’ve written imagines before but not in a while so I’m a bit rusty and this is my first tumblr one :) the spacings a bit weird Cos I wrote it on my phone so I’m sorry if that’s annoying but I hope u enjoy and feel free to leave constructive criticism I definitely need it lol
——————
It was only meant to be a nap, not even that, just a chance to rest your eyes. But, of course, Steve Harrington always provided the most comfortable, sleep-inducing cuddles ever and you just couldn’t help yourself. Drifting off, with your leg draped across the scoops ahoy uniform he was yet to change out of and your head resting cosily just below the red necktie, you didn’t bear a second though to the time you would arise again.
So, awakening with a start at 11:48pm you felt utterly betrayed by your own eyelids. You scramble to move away from Steve and fall straight off his living room’s sofa and onto the carpet with a thud. Clasping a hand over your mouth in order to stifle your laughter at your own clumsyness, you rise from the floor and notice Steve beginning to stir.
“Hello?” He lets out, voice croaky with sleep and holding a tilt of confusion. His eyes are yet to open but he lifts his head away from the sofas armrest slightly.
“We fell asleep.” You explain, hoping Steve doesn’t pick up on the disappointment in your voice. He opens his eyes in response as though only just realising he has, in fact, been asleep.
“Why do you sound so sad, baby?”
You immediately feel guilty. You’re not disappointed in the fact you fell asleep, persay, it’s just what comes with falling asleep at your boyfriends house makes you a bit uncomfortable.
“It’s just getting a bit late, so I’ll have to drive home soon and we didn’t get to finish the film.”
You lie.
It’s not that, it’s that you know what he’s gonna ask next and you dread it, because what’s your excuse for turning it down?
He’s sat up fully now looking up at you from the sofa but you don’t make eye contact, focussing on the floor and the chipping paint on your toe nails.
“Stay over?” His voice is pure, light, innocent. Not a cruel intention behind it yet you find yourself becoming so uncomfortable.
Honestly, you’d love to spend the night with Steve. Spoon in his bed, whisper goodnights and awake in each other’s arms naturally the the morning light but you know it wouldn’t go like that, you feel you don’t fit in a scene as beautiful as that. You’ve always been a highly self conscious person from that start of yours and Steve’s relationship and he’s always been so accepting to what you’ve opened up about but he hasn’t heard the half of it and you fear you’re not going to provide to his expectations of ‘staying over at your boyfriends house’.
You sigh, finally raising your eyes to meet your perfect boyfriends hopeful face. “You don’t want that.” You let out in a low deflated tone. “I can’t disappoint you like that.”
You move to step away but Steve shifts forward, grabbing one of your hands and pulling you closer to him. The confusion on his face is so innocent and hurt. “What do you mean?” He grabs your other hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “You could never disappoint me.”
Your heart clenches and you know you can’t walk away from him now. “But Steve,” you begin, taking a deep breath, “I’m not going to be able to fulfill everything that you expect when your girlfriend stays over, okay?” Hes goes to interrupt but you stop him, holding your hand up, “no, stop. It’s not gonna be like what you imagine, I’m not going to be able to borrow one of your shirts and look all cute and effortless because my thighs are too big and they stick out weird and your not that fucking tall so it will bearly cover my ass which means all my stretch marks will be on show. Then we’ll go to sleep and I’ll sleep with my mouth open and I won’t wake up with my hair ‘cast beautifully accross my face’ because it will have grown twice the size and I’ll look like a fracking clown.” The last two words escape your lips much more sorrowfully than the others and you sink to the floor utterly deflated.
You don’t look back at Steve but he’s silent for a few minutes after your outburst before you hear shifting on the sofa where he’s sat. Sniffling slightly your feel a slight sense of pride that no tears broke loose as you emptied your insecurities out to your boyfriend but you’re certain they will make an appearance as soon as you reach your bedroom.
Your just about to get up to leave when you feel knees meet your own on the floor and one of Steve warm hands resting upon your own on the carpet. You look up to meet his gaze and there’s nothing but sincerity behind his brown eyes, so welcoming and soft.
He reaches his other hand up to cup your cheek gently forcing you to hold eye contact as he speaks, “please stay.”
You begin to shake your head but his voice it so soft and kind when he talks again, “I promise,” he says, “I promise to show you how un-disappointing you are.”
You chuckle at his word choice and feel your heart swell with how genuine he is and your stomach light up with butterflies despite yourself at the thought of spending the night at your boyfriends. You take a second to mull over your answer but its impossible to say no to his clear wholeheartedness.
You give him a simple nod and he rises to his feet, offering a hand to help you up. You keep ahold of his hand as he leads you up the stairs and into his room. The carpet is soft and soothing against your feet and the soft colour of his walls is welcoming and warm. You feel a strange sense of serenity overcome you, despite the underlying discomfort you hold towards the whole situation. He leads you onto his bed and you sit gently on the end.
You watch him as he silently moves away from you and towards one of his draws in the corner of the room. He rifles through the top draw for a moment and turns back to you, holding one of his black t-shirts out. Nervousness settles in your stomach and he notices the increase in your discomfort and explains: “it’s baggier than my other ones and honestly, you could wear my scoops ahoy costume and I’d still think you were beautiful.”
You blush deeply and don’t attempt to fight the bashful smile crawling onto your lips. He points you towards his bathroom and you let out a quiet Thank you before heading to get changed.
Once the top is on you look yourself over in the mirror and he’s right, it’s baggier so it hangs just a couple inches below your bum but you can’t help but notice how much your thighs protrude and how obvious the little purple lines running across them appear. Your about to chicken out and get changed when there’s a knock at the door. “You comin’ to bed Y/N?”
The butterflies return to your stomach upon hearing that phrase but you can’t fight the uncertain “I don’t know” that escapes your lips at the question.
“I won’t even look.” Steve announces. “My eyes are shut.”
Deciding that it’s now or never, you inhale deeply and push open the door. Instinctively, your hands drop to the bottom of the shirt, pulling it just a bit longer that it’s original length. You look up at Steve and see him just in his tartan pajama bottoms making you more self conscious at how attractive he is. But, when your eyes rise to meet his you find they’re not on your face.
His eyes are sweeping, shamelessly, up and down your figure, mouth parted slightly and a not-so-subtle blush coating his cheeks. He blinks once, twice and locks eyes with you, smiling sheepishly.
“I might have peaked.”
You giggle at his admission but begin to shrink back slightly when you notice he’s still immersed in scanning your whole body up and down. He panics and reaches out for your hips, pulling you towards him.
“Oh no, no, no, baby.” He exclaims, “don’t be uncomfortable, I’m just awestruck. I mean- holy shit. You are...wow. You are wow.” He chuckles at his own choice in words but doesn’t shake the amazed look across his face. It’s extremely flattering.
You feel your breathing hitch at how honest he was being, you don’t understand how you’ve brought this reaction out of him. “Good wow or bad wow?” You ask, nervously.
He looks almost taken aback that your think for a second it would be bad.
“Good, so fucking good.” He admits, breathless and leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Now let’s go to bed.”
He leads you, once again, to his bed and you climb in a side each. On instinct, you scoot closer to him, pulling yourself into his chest and swooping your leg over him. You still feel a slight hint of discomfort in the pit of your stomach but the closer you get to Steve the more it shrinks and as he wraps his arms around you it’s impossible to hide the hum of content.
“Goodnight, baby.” He says pressing and kiss to your nose, “I love you.”
“I love you too stevie, goodnight.”
Steve doesn’t get what you were so worried about. Waking up with you beside him, in his clothes, he thought the stretch marks were sexy, he doesn’t care about how puffy your hair is or how open your mouth is. He wouldn’t care if you fucking breathed fire in your sleep. He’s never found anything more attractive.
“The most un-disappointing.”
