Mortise
Pairing: stableboy!Joshua Hong x princess!female reader
This story takes place between parts 1 and 2 of my Vernon fic, Cinders.
WC: ~4.8k
Genres/Warnings: sfw, medieval au, fluff, angst, forbidden love, anxiety, dissociation, reader is a bit of a tomboy, other svt members are here, reader is young and dumb
Other: Reader's nickname is Keys, Vernon's reader's nickname is Scribs
Kingdom Universe taglist: @raineisms
"You called?"
Your gloved hands were on your hips as you stood a couple feet in front of the man in question.
"There you are, Y/N!" As always, Joshua shamelessly looked you up and down. "You look as fresh as a lime."
"Aren't limes, like, super sour??" You raised an eyebrow.
Joshua shrugged. "Yeah sure, that too. Anyways, come over here."
You scoffed and walked over to Joshua who was holding his hoof cleaning tool bag.
"So...something's up with Copper?"
"Right," Joshua nodded. "We know you weren't available to pick her hooves on the scheduled day this week. So as usual, I tried to do it myself. But she won't let me this time and I don't know why. I was wondering if you could help?"
You agreed without hesitation. Nothing else mattered to you at that point, including the fact that Joshua could totally have asked his father for help instead. You just wanted your girl to feel better.
In your eyes, no other horse in the world was more beautiful than your Copper. When you and your siblings got to pick your own ponies as kids, everyone had been worried because you picked the one with the most attitude. Many seasoned knights wouldn't dare.
But you knew from the moment you laid eyes on that dazzling coat the color of coins that you wanted her.
The marshal (Joshua's father) had laughed and reassured your parents, saying that you and Copper have the same fire in your eyes and would get along just fine.
As you reminisced while speaking softly to Copper, Joshua watched from behind and felt his heart swell.
His father had been right. You were the only person Copper was most well behaved with from the get go. Plus, Copper needed more breaking in than others, so growing up you had spent almost all of your free time in the stables.
"You ready?" Joshua asked with a soft smile. You turned around and returned it.
"Yeah."
Joshua worked in silence as you held up each of Copper's legs. With every twitch, head-shake, and snort, you comforted her so she wouldn't kick as Joshua expertly picked away dirt and debris out of her hooves.
It felt so natural, taking care of horses with no one but Joshua after a nice, long lunch.
"There ya go, girl," Joshua stood up after the last hoof and wiped his forehead. "All better."
"Good girl!" You cooed. "Say thank you to Joshua! Josh, do you have a sugar cube?"
His smile grew wider as he handed you one to feed Copper. He loved watching you with horses - your eyes become warm with adoration and you always knew the right things to say.
Copper gave you a nuzzle when she was done, making you laugh and flash a dazzling smile at Joshua. His heart involuntarily leap into his throat at the sight as he gave a side-smile back.
And then like routine, it felt like it sank back down and twisted in on itself.
For years this had been going on and it continued to eat up Joshua from the inside. Eventually he couldn't even recall when it started - the only thing that was certain was Joshua Hong loved you and he could never stop even if he wanted to.
Joshua wanted so badly to tell you how he'd always had eyes for you and how beautiful he thought you were in every way. How much he admired your personality and tough-as-nails resolve. How much he longed to feel the warmth of your hands in his aside from awkward hugs and accidental touches during practice.
If only he knew that in that moment, you were feeling the same thing.
Pain has been a terrible price to pay for your crush on the palace stableboy. Ever since childhood you fell for Joshua's gorgeous features, his silly streak, caring touch, those perfect eyes, making you sigh and pine at almost every waking moment...
While also causing you anguish at your fate, the tears of your dissolving self-esteem, and the searing jealousy when your own maids flirted with him so openly.
But if it wasn't for that twisting and turning feeling of pain, you could never love. You wouldn't be able to feel the immense happiness that bubbles up and blooms when you see each other, comfort each other, ride horses together.
So it was moments like these that you treasured most. You could both fall deeper and deeper for each other silently, gazing at each other while sharing mutual passions, sunrays flowing through the stalls illuminating your faces and making longing eyes sparkle.
Moments where you could forget, even if just for a little while, that one day you may never see Joshua again.
And with that, you forced yourself to look away from him and clear your throat.
"Well...I'd better get going."
Joshua nodded, trying to keep his feelings in check for the millionth time. "Okay. Sorry for having you come on such short notice."
"No need to apologize, thank you for having me help, Josh."
Joshua gave you a playful smile. "Of course Y/N, it's always worth seeing you."
You rolled your eyes, blushing, then took off with a huff. Joshua didn't realize he was still grinning like an idiot watching you nearly trip until he heard a snort from next to him.
Joshua gave Copper a look. "Well excuse you miss, I have no idea what you're talking about."
---
At dinner, you sat next to one of your older sister's ladies-in-waiting, the same one who had relayed Joshua's request for help earlier that day.
"So, how did it go?" She asked, swirling her wine goblet.
You raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Same as always. Copper would have broken his nose if I wasn't there. I'm not sure why you're asking."
"Very funny," Scribs smirked sarcastically. But she knew better than to press the topic further.
As you ate in silence with your back up straight, you made your daily wish that your older sister was there.
She had always been the life of a group, making even the most mundane topics sound interesting over dinner. You didn't have to do anything except smile and nod and she knew it, happy to relieve that pressure from you. Now that she was away on her honeymoon with Seungcheol, all eyes were on you and Scribs, who had her own way with words and did her best to cover for you.
But you couldn't avoid your duties forever.
"So Y/N," your mother spoke suddenly, wearing a smile that said get it together. You must have been frowning. "Today's game pies are quite tasty, don't you think?"
You wanted to be honest and say you couldn't tell the difference from last week's, but that wouldn't make time pass any easier.
"Why yes mother, compliments to the cook. I am so glad today's hunting party was a success."
They always are, the forest is going to have trouble keeping up soon is what you didn't say.
"Well of course I must thank you, for taking such good care of my horse!" Scribs' father beamed, clearly having already downed too much wine. "I always say it's a shame you can't come hunting with us, we'd probably double in gains!"
"Nonsense," your mother cried. "It's enough that I even let Y/N have a pair of riding trousers. Especially now that my eldest is married, we need her for tea time!"
The worst part of it all was you weren't allowed to look away from everyone watching the interaction, even though all you wanted to do was spit out your food and run.
You felt Scribs' hand sympathetically squeeze yours under the table, reminding you to breathe slowly.
The moment you were allowed to excuse yourself from the table, you rushed to your room and practically chucked your skirts off onto your bed and grabbed your riding pants. Your younger sister, who was curling her hair, didn't bat an eye.
Everyone knew where you ran off to after dinner.
---
"Josh, are you there?"
"You come here every night, your Highness. Of course I am."
You stood still, sensing his presence behind you, then turned around with your best fake-annoyance face. He was leaning against a post with a fond look to contrast.
"Let me guess, you miss your sister?"
You walked to the side and plopped yourself onto a haystack. "Always, but at least she's kept her promise to write often. I'm more upset with my mom."
"Ah, so that's what the topic is for today," Joshua half-joked, rubbing his palms together. "You want me to get a saddle or...?"
You shook your head, patting the hay next to you. Joshua nodded and sat down.
"Mom found out that we're only going to get to see my sis one more time before she officially moves away to live in Seungcheol's kingdom. So she's been smothering me even more with talks of marriage and being more 'princess-like' than before."
He knows that the best thing he can do is listen but he wishes he could do more. You look up at him and a pang goes through his heart seeing that all too familiar look in your eyes - the one that shows how desperate your free spirit has grown.
You sigh and sit up. "I don't know how to get through to Mom that I just...don't want to get married. To anyone. If I love somebody, why do I need to prove it to anyone? Scribs is optimistic, though, since she saw my sister end up loving Cheol but I never felt like I had to find another half like she did."
As you rambled, Joshua slowly scooted closer and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, trying to get his heartrate to slow down so he could focus on yours.
"Have you heard from your sister recently?"
"I got a letter from her the other day but I haven't gotten around to sending one back yet."
"Well, how about we do that right now, then? You can send it by bird in the morning."
You gave Joshua a little smile that would have made anyone melt. "Good idea, I'll go grab some paper and ink."
Joshua sprang up eagerly. "No please, let me. I'll be quick!"
That made you laugh, genuinely. "Let's go together."
Once the two of you had returned to the stables with what you needed, albeit panting since you'd narrowly dodged the cook in a hallway, you sat down with a book in your lap so you would have a hard surface to write your letter on.
Joshua began tending to the last routine he had to do for the day before he could prepare for bed.
"'My dear sister...'" You hummed and whispered as you wrote the letter carefully.
You didn't notice Joshua glancing at you every so often - he thought it was cute the way your face scrunched up when you were trying your hardest to think of what to say.
"Careful," Joshua said, suddenly rushing over with his hand flapping. "You wouldn't want any bugs to smudge the ink."
You laughed, trying to wave away a fly that'd been circling you. "Thanks, Josh. I'll just finish the letter in my room."
"You don't want to take a walk with me tonight?"
"Sorry maybe tomorrow, I want to take my time in the bath today." You stood up to brush the hay off your clothes, which kept you from seeing the blush on his face when you said that. "Have a good rest!"
"You too," Joshua said as you left, trying not to feel disappointed.
"Yikes," a voice said from behind, making Joshua jump and whip around. "You sure got it bad."
Joshua huffed. "Hansol, right? Do you usually make a point to startle people?"
The apprentice blacksmith grinned with amusement. "Just call me Vernon. And I'm glad to see I'm not alone in...having forbidden feelings."
Joshua exhaled again, this time with the sound of defeat. "Would you like to take a walk with me instead?"
Vernon laughed and patted Joshua on the back. "Sure, just don't blow your nose on me."
---
"When are you gonna tell him, Keys?"
Your younger sister asked you that question often so at first, you didn't respond.
"Hello?? I didn't stay up waiting for you to finish bathing only to talk about nothing?"
You kept brushing your hair and sighed. "For the last time, I don't know. Probably never."
"Right, as if you're the type to keep your eyes off the prize."
"You don't have any more of a choice in this life than I do," You replied indignantly, setting your hairbrush down.
"You're not the oldest. If you don't try to break the rules in this family, what hope is there for the rest of us?"
"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?"
She suddenly looked embarrassed and cleared her throat.
"All I'm saying is...it's not like you to give up on something without a fight. And now that our big sister is married you have a chance to get Mom's full attention to what you want."
"We all know she's gonna say no," you groaned, sitting down on your bed.
"We also all know that you've been in love with the stableboy forever. And between us two is a prince, not another princess. This is your chance."
"I appreciate the encouragement but Josh isn't even close to nobility. It'd be different if he was a duke or even a viscount."
"Y/N, you literally wear pants every night. I didn't know you cared so much about what others think of you."
You were silent at that. Your sister was right, and you loved your baby sister. You were also tired.
"You got anything else to throw at me before I go to sleep?"
She pondered for a moment before answering. "I'm worried about Scribs. I overheard a maid say she's getting betrothed soon."
"I hope he isn't ugly."
"Hey, play nice. She, like you, only has eyes for someone out of reach. But you outrank her."
You abruptly sat up in your bed. "...wait really?"
Your sister, who was laying in her bed on her side facing you, raised her eyebrows. "Wh-you didn't know?"
"... I guess I'll have to go riding with her soon."
---
"So...you and the blacksmith's apprentice?"
Scribs nearly choked.
It had been a few days since you and your younger sister spoke. You hadn't received another letter from your older sister and your mother was out in the kingdom today with your father. You suggested to your friend a stroll with your horses through the palace gardens and she'd agreed.
"I know he and Joshua have been acquainted but it was little sis who mentioned it."
"How are you and Joshua?"
Changing the subject, huh? You steadied Copper so you could look Scribs in the eye as she steadied her own horse.
"Listen, I don't want to disappoint anyone but I also don't want to watch Joshua marry some maid one day in silence. I need some ideas and you're the most creative person I know."
Scribs gulped. "You're not just asking for a way to rewrite your story, Keys. You could end up burning it entirely, for the both of you. Have you thought about telling him how you feel first?"
"..."
Your friend reached out for your hand, seeing your torn expression. "Maybe you should start there. Before it's too late."
Your inability to muster up the courage was unbearable.
You knew it'd be suspicious if you suddenly stopped spending time with Josh in the evenings but at the same time, every minute more spent with him the pain only grew.
A few nights after your outing with your sister's lady-in-waiting, you and Joshua were tending to the horses before bed as usual.
"Y/N," Joshua suddenly said, breaking what had been minutes productive silence.
"Hm?" You replied, not meeting his eyes.
"When your sister comes back for her belongings and the rest of the dowry, will you be allowed to help me with her husband's entourage? They're bringing quite a few carriages and I heard each will have four horses."
You paused. It hadn't occurred to you that no one had yet mentioned what your schedule would be when your sister comes back.
"I don't know yet. I'd like to, but I should probably spend more of my time with her."
"I figured as much," Joshua shrugged. "I know I've said this before but I'm glad you have such a big family that you're close with."
On the outside you smiled and nodded but on the inside you wanted to cry. "Josh...I..."
"Yeah?"
"..."
Joshua set aside the rake he'd been holding and stepped in front of you.
"Is everything okay, Y/N?"
When you looked up into his eyes, seeing the warm color and caring expression, you felt like the whole world had come to a standstill. That it was just you, and him, and you could be safe.
You opened your mouth, then closed it. You looked away and pulled a bit of hay out of your sleeve.
"I'm okay. I was just gonna say that..." Come on Y/N, tell him.
You looked back at him. "...we're all happy and grateful you're here."
You couldn't do it.
Joshua was dense enough to not know why you were acting so nervous, but he wasn't so dense that he couldn't tell you weren't feeling like yourself.
"That's touching of you to say, Y/N. I'm glad, too. Just remember...you can tell me anything."
He especially knew something wasn't right when you only nodded in response and didn't speak again for the rest of the night.
---
The night before your sister returned, your parents asked if they could speak with you after dinner.
It's not like you could have said no so you waited in your room for them as they said. Your younger sister wasn't there so it was just you sitting on your bed, everything quiet.
When your parents walked in, the king stood by the door and your mother sat facing you on a nearby chair. She spoke first.
"Y/N, we have some news for you. The king and queen of the neighboring kingdom are inviting us to visit their castle in a month's time. They want us to bring you so you can meet their three sons."
You knew this day would come. But the night before your sister came back?
Your father looked cheerful. "We thought you might be more comfortable with the idea if you could have options and meet them first. And they have plenty of horses ..."
Everything became blurry as you sat there as still as a statue.
You had to hand it to your parents, it was clever of them to spring this on you now. If you were to act out now or anytime during the next week, you wouldn't disappoint your parents nearly as much as you would break the hearts of all of your siblings.
"...of course we won't be announcing anything until after your sister has safely moved to her new home. We just wanted to tell you now so..."
Everything stayed a blur until your parents finally finished, hugged you, and left.
The lonely silence of your room was deafening.
You had to think fast.
So...only your parents knew about this so far. Your younger sister wasn't coming on the trip so this occasion had been tailored for you. Your sister and Seungcheol were arriving tomorrow before dinner.
...This was going to be agony.
"Where is your sister?" Scribs was panicking. "I can't find Y/N anywhere and no one has seen her since breakfast."
The youngest princess looked confused. "What do you mean, no one's seen her? Have you asked the cook? She can't be out riding, Joshua's busy in the stables from Seungcheol's carriages."
"Even the cook has no idea."
"...Okay, that's bad."
The two girls tried their best to keep an eye out but the king and queen had sent out too many orders to get done.
An hour later, the younger princess had a moment to go back to her shared bedroom to see if she could find any clues.
She frantically spun around until she saw that Y/N's perfectly made bed had a divet in the blanket. Anyone else would have missed it but the younger princess had lived out of the room long enough to know the maids never leave until everything is spotless.
She knelt down into her petticoats to observe and saw the tiniest corner of paper sticking out from under Y/N's pillow.
At her wit's end, the younger princess shoved the pillow away and unfolded the paper. It was a letter addressed to whoever found it first.
---
"JOSHUA!"
It was Vernon. He was running towards the stables holding a piece of paper.
Joshua stumbled out, still holding the reins of one of the last horses he needed to find room for.
"What's going on, are you okay?"
Vernon gave Joshua the paper. It had the youngest princess' handwriting. It read:
Joshua, Y/N is missing. You need to find her as soon as possible.
Joshua looked at Vernon, whose face was just as pale.
"Her Highness passed it to me while rounding a corner so no one would see."
Joshua immediately turned and ran, with Vernon on his heels.
In the stall where Copper was supposed to be stood a different horse that only looked similar from an angle. It was one of Prince Seungcheol's.
She must have made the switch when the servants were eating.
Vernon put his hand on Joshua's shoulder to get his attention.
"I have to get back inside but good luck. You only have so many hours left before dinner."
Joshua nodded, then tucked the note into his pocket.
You thought you were fine.
At first, the escape had been exhilrating.
The moment you'd made it out of the kingdom, you had put your hood down, got Copper running, and let your hair and the cape of your cloak fly behind you.
You had felt free, one with the wind, like you could conquer the whole world. No courtiers, suffocating dresses, or bitter tea.
Just you, laughing into the open air.
The truth was you had no idea where you were going.
Maybe you could make it to a kingdom far enough away and become a nun. You could disguise yourself as a boy and tend to horses on a farm.
The sound of thunder in the distance made you realize how stupid your plan was to run away.
You slowed Copper down, taking in the solitude one more time, before you got Copper to turn around and start riding back towards your kingdom.
You weren't backtracking on your intentions you just...needed a change in plan. Maybe you could hide yourself in one of your sister's trunks when she left. Something, anything.
As the sky grew grayer overhead, you urged Copper to go faster. You'd passed a barn on the way where maybe you could wait out the storm.
Miles away, Joshua was on horseback trying to outrun the approaching storm. To avoid suspicion, he'd taken his father's hat and coat.
He knew there was only way out of the kingdom without passing through the village and upon making it out, he figured you would head in the direction opposite of Prince Seungcheol's kingdom.
That was about the smartest thing he could see that you'd done so far. What had you been thinking, running off into the countryside on a royal horse?
As he felt the rain start soaking through his hat, Joshua knew he'd have to find shelter before his supplies got soaked or his lantern went out.
He had no idea the empty barn he would find was the same barn that you were aiming for as well.
As you approached from the distance, you noticed the glow of firelight coming from the barn. You figured if it was a property owner, you could pay for permission to rest there if needed.
Inside the barn, Joshua heard the sound of a horse approaching. The moment he reached the door was when you'd slowed Copper down enough to walk through.
The two of you met eyes and stood still for what felt like too long. You felt the iron grip of fear strangle your heart as you forced yourself to process that what was happening was actually happening.
Then a clap of thunder startled Copper, making you almost fall off.
"Woah!" Joshua rushed forward to steady you, taking Copper's reins.
You brushed him off and threw your hooded cloak on the ground as he looped the reins around a post.
You all but shouted as you wiped rainwater off of your face. "What are you doing here??"
Joshua felt a strange surge of anger rise in him. "What am I doing here?! You're supposed to be in the palace! In what world did you think SWAPPING YOUR HORSE OUT to run away was a good idea??"
Your ears popped as you yelled back, "You don't live in my world, Josh! You could never understand-"
"You're right, I don't understand. You choose the night your sister and her new husband get BACK FROM THEIR HONEYMOON to disappear and risk your father sending out troops to find you?!"
"What if I wanted to be found by the troops??"
"THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE!"
The two of you stood there breathing heavily at each other for a few moments before Joshua yelled "Did you even think about how worried I'd be??" at the same time as you yelling "I was running away from you!"
Silence.
"...What?" Joshua's eyes were wide, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I..." You crumpled to the ground, tears bursting out of your eyes. Joshua immediately rushed over to sit down next to you and bring you into an embrace. He felt a pang in his heart when you flinched.
"...I'm such an idiot," you sobbed.
"It's okay," Joshua whispered. "I'm here for you. It's going to be okay."
And for a little while you stayed that way. Just crying it out in the arms of your best friend with the roar of heavy rain outside.
"Y/N..." Joshua tried to get you to look at him, but you couldn't move. "Please tell me...what happened? Are you in danger? I promise I won't judge or anything I just...I need to know why."
You had to take a few deep breaths. Joshua took out a flask of water he'd brought for you to drink from.
"Yesterday...my parents...they told me that the neighboring kingdom wants me to visit and meet their heirs...in a month..."
Joshua felt like someone had just clawed a hole through his chest and into his throat. He knew this day would come but the timing...
"Josh...I haven't been completely honest with you...and I'm sorry," you whispered. He gently took your hand, making you flinch again.
"I..." The words caught in your throat. But you realized you had to say them. It was time.
All of the years of pain, the moments that continued to overflow your brain's padlocked chest surrounded in sharp edges - it all led to this moment.
"...I love you, Joshua. I have since the day we met."
You felt Joshua freeze against you. You weren't sure what to do so you continued to speak.
"I wasn't being completely honest when...I said I don't want to marry. The only person that I could ever-"
Joshua took your face in his hands and cut you off with a kiss.
If it wasn't for the fact you were shivering from getting rained on before, you would have passed out right then and there. But you didn't and could feel everything.
Joshua's warm and broad body, his soft lips, his strong heartbeat-you melted into him, completely helpless. The two of you would have stayed like that forever if you didn't need to resurface for air.
"That was...my first..." you felt your eyes grow watery again, this time from relief.
"Mine too," Joshua whispered. "I love you too, Y/N. I always have."
The world stayed still as you held each other, gazing into each other's eyes. He studied your face with so much adoration, brushing away your tears as gingerly as he would pet a kitten.
When he noticed you were still shivering, he wrapped his coat around you and brought you further into the barn to cuddle next to his lantern.
"So..." You eventually said. "You didn't read my letter?"
Joshua blinked at you. "What letter?"
You looked down and Joshua watched as your face turned from confused to completely stony.
"Ah. So it was my sister who set this up."
Joshua couldn't stop himself from laughing. At first you looked mortified, but with one well-timed snort from Joshua, you started laughing too.
After things grew quiet again, you tried to clear your mind a bit.
"What do we do now?"
Joshua thought about it for a moment, then pressed a kiss into your hair.
"I know we will figure it out. Together."
a/n: 🎶the fic i couldn't write, this is what it sounds liiikkkeeeeeeeeee🎵