“ so i’m at this party that my father threw for some charity about homeless puppies- or maybe it was starving orphans... anyway who cares! but so i’m at this party and i’m chatting up this guy who was literally my daddy. like, he could have choked me right then and there and i still would have nutted, that’s how hot he was. and so i feel like we’re flirting, i mean in the way that sexually repressed middle aged men do. he’s whispering in my ear, i’m giving him my best bedroom eyes, and i swear we were totally about to fuck. but, right when i’m about to drag him into some random study, you know what this fucker does? he starts crying !! blubbering and shit about how he can’t do this to his wife, about how he has a family, you know bullshit like that. i was so mad !! like this dude literally ruined my night because he’s to good to cheat on his wife. what a fucking lame ass, honestly !! ”
