This is Stacy Singh, a 26 year-old mother of 2 young children. Originally from #Guyana, she was murdered by her husband on the first day of this year in Queens. After he murdered her, he committed suicide.
As a survivor, Stacy’s murder, and the violence other #IndoCaribbean womxn face hits too close to home. We all failed Stacy, and other victims of #genderbasedviolence , but I especially blame myself. When I was younger, I avoided the men in commumity bc of their #toxicmasculinity . I thought distancing myself and staying silent was the best option. However, I realized that this doesn’t stop the #cycleofviolence , and that other communities and environments faced this epidemic.
As I got older and understood what I went thru. I blamed myself, a child, for not doing anything when womxn in my life faced violence, be it physical or emotional. However, thru support in different forms (friends/therapy/peer-counseling) Im learning to heal. I’ve realized the violence is not going stop unless we all work together to end it. @jahajee_sisters is doing great work to empower womxn in the community to fight back against the violence. However men need to do their part. Understand how our everyday actions and words lends itself to the violence. How #patriarchy is ingrained in our community, and why it’s a destructive system.
Men also need to discuss the violence they’ve faced. I come from a family where men have been abused for generations, which is not atypical. We need to acknowledge we’ve faced trauma, understand how our patterns of behavior are related this trauma, and learn to heal from the trauma. Because we don’t have the space, or don’t develop the space, to discuss our pain, we continue the cycle of violence.
If we want to stop the violence, we all have to work together. We have to be proactive in engaging the community regularly. We couldn’t prevent Stacy’s murder, but we can prevent others.
