@stagcharmed said ; you aren’t acting like yourself.
remus’ hands are moving before he can stop them, setting the book he was reading down on the table more forcefully than necessary and looking at james with HOT, still eyes. “if there’s something you want to SAY, then say it.” the words are bitten out, each syllable sharp and staccato. still in the way something DEAD is, or something STALKING something else. “i get enough of this from sirius.” AND OTHERS, though he manages to stop himself to say it despite the way hackles are raised. remus isn’t as OBLIVIOUS to the fact sirius is not alone in mistrusting remus ; in thinking his LOYALTIES might be split.
how could they even BLAME HIM if they were? it’s a dangerous thought, one remus doesn’t voice - it would make it all worse. BUT TRULY - there is a REASON werewolves are so willing to fall in line with greyback. promises, even false ones, seem better than the future the order promises when viewed through the eyes of one deemed MONSTER by the powers the order is trying to uphold.
kitchen chair scrapes against tile as remus pushes back from the table and stands, though he doesn’t know where to go from there and that fact makes him feel more out of place than he already had. the moon is coming, is waxing in the sky, and remus can’t be bothered to try and remind himself that the acrimony is heightened because of it. “if i’m not ACTING LIKE MYSELF, what am i acting like?”