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@doecharmed
#DOECHARMED. independent, extremely selective, & low activity lily evans from the harry potter series. book based, with heavy headcanon influences. previously doeconjured. established august 2019 by alice, 26, she / her. exclusive with @stagcharmed !
this blog is extremely anti-jkr and heavily condemns her words and actions against trans people. do not follow me if you support her or her vile beliefs, we will not get along.
other blogs: @sunwove, @ioracle, @lanternwaited.
lily baby sorry i missed your birthday work has been crazy but i love u x
happy two year anniversary @stagcharmed love u forever xx
🎉 im legally obligated to send this @stagcharmed
lily’s freezing . even under her woollen coat , scarf , gloves , and hat she can feel the chill seeping into her bones . breaths leave her lips in a frosty mist . green eyes glance at her watch . five minutes to midnight . she only has to get through five more minutes . exactly how james had talked her into this , she’s not entirely sure . he busies himself setting up their own firework display , though she’s not sure where , exactly , he got the fireworks from . it’s probably for the best she doesn’t ask .
she can hear the start of dumbledore’s speech . picture him in her minds eye . arms open , addressing the gathered students . those few who hadn’t been fortunate enough to go home for the festive season . no doubt he’s wishing them well for the year ahead , praising whichever professor had organised the display this year . it’s not too late for them to join the rest of the school down by the lake , instead of freezing their arses off in the transfiguration courtyard . but lily has a sneaky suspicion that the two of them turning up together late would be worse than never turning up at all . the rumour mill would go into overdrive .
they’re stood next to each other . a wand clasped in his hand , the other dangerously close to her own . the snow’s been successfully melted away from the firework wicks , though she can tell he’s still a little tense . worried they might not light . it won’t be long until they find out . from the lake lily can hear a chorus of voices . TEN , NINE , EIGHT . the countdown has started . her head turns , her gaze locking with his . lips turn up in a smile . THREE , TWO , ONE ! his features are illuminated by flashes of red and green . they’re not touching , not speaking , but the moment feels strangely intimate . he looks beautiful . she tears her gaze away from him , watching the mix of colours . over the castle walls she can see the tops of the school sanctioned fireworks , but their own private display is bright against the dark night sky . fireworks exploding in various neon colours , different shapes and sizes . it’s memorising .
the clock begins to chime , signalling the start of the new year . gaze is drawn to him again out of the corner of her eye . new friendships . she misses her family , her friends , but she’s glad she got to spend christmas with james . a fondness for him has taken root , one she can’t kill . she turns her body to him , both their figures glowing under the multi coloured lights . snow crunches underneath her feet as she takes the few small steps towards him . toes stretching as she reaches up towards him . she’s aiming for his cheek , lips puckering the slightest amount . unexpectedly he turns . the last thing she sees is shock in hazel eyes as their lips make contact . it was a short peck , the kind of kiss someone would give their grandma at christmas .
it sends her stumbling back . his expression is unreadable , her own features twisting in shock and horror . her heart feels like it may beat out of her chest . her chest heaving with the effort it takes to breathe . her lips tingle from where the contact was made . a warmth spreading through her body , turning pale skin red . ❝ i didn’t mean - that wasn’t supposed to be — ❞ the twelfth chime rings out . the fireworks stop . the world falls silent around them . panic is rising inside her . not only because she doesn’t want him to get the wrong idea , but because something’s happening within her that she can’t explain . feet carry her backwards , towards the entrance to the castle , away from him . she hesitates , only for a moment , to look at him one last time . when she speaks her words come out in a whisper .
❝ happy new year . ❞
@stagcharmed
𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓.
he'd never really heard lily talk about her sister like this . sure, lily had mentioned her before. and james had payed enough attention to piece things together. but he thinks this is the first time they've really talked about her. and he notices the change that comes over lily, the heaviness to her voice, the sadness with which she smiles. he wishes he understood this better, what it was like to have siblings. he knows he thinks of sirius like a brother, and he also knows it's not the same thing as lily and petunia's relationship. he squeezes lily's hand, still held in his - and hopes he can find the right things to say .
❝ you tried . she should of tried too ❞ he doesn't understand the strange mix of emotions, heartbreak, on lily's behalf, and than a kind of dull anger, toward the sister he'd never met. for how she'd treated lily. lily shouldn't have to miss her sister forever, shouldn't talk about her with such sadness it made james want to pull her toward him and never let go. but he tries to keep calm, he's always tried to be a steady presence for people around him. a pillar to lean on. he wants lily to keep telling him things about her he didn't know. wanted to listen to all of them. he watches her tilt her head toward the sky, knows she's trying not to cry . ❝ hey, c'mere ❞ he wraps his arm around her, places a kiss on her temple. ❝ maybe one day she'll come around ❞ he tries to make his sound sincere, but even he's not convinced with his show of optimism. ❝ look. I wish there was a way to fix it. or maybe not, dunno if you should have to fix anything. but I wish there was a way to help you feel better. cos' I really hate to see you upset ❞ this he says earnestly, though he wishes he had something better to say. something that would help more now - too bad he'd always been better at taking action than talking.
she appreciates jame’s optimism. it’s a nice thought, to think that petunia might one day come around and things will one day be the same as they were. but it’s unrealistic -- and that’s fine. lily had long come to terms with that fact. was even bitter about it, for a while. let the hurt and anger take over where she should have been understanding. maybe if lily hadn’t been so quick to give up things might have been different, but there’s no use dwelling on what ifs now. no, she’d rather enjoy her first christmas with james. after all, she doubts petunia is giving her much of a second thought while meeting her new in-laws.
lily tilts her head up, reciprocating his kiss with one on the cheek. ❝ i’ve learned to live with it. ❞ lips turn up in a sincere smile. it sounds sad, but lily’s used to heartache now. in watching people she loved slip through her hands. she’s determined, now, to focus on the people she still has. head rests against james’s shoulder, green eyes turned to the sky. she can barely make out the stars amongst all the bright lights coming from the market. in the distance she can see the tops of fairground rides, their metal frames glowing in all different colours. suddenly she sits up, almost spilling the last of her mulled wine on her lap. gaze turns to james, a mischievous glint in her eye and smile on her lips. ❝ don’t suppose you’ve ever been to a muggle fairground? ❞ now that would definitely cheer her up.
@stagcharmed
𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓.
he’d been painfully aware of how badly he’d wanted to go with lily. in a way that he thinks shouldn’t have been so great. he’d rationalised it by assuring himself, and his friends, it was because they were such good friends - because it was simple, and easy, and he knew if they went together, he’d have a good time. he never got tired of being around her, even if they didn’t talk, or didn’t do anything. just being in her company felt nice, made him feel good, even if he’d never really told her how much. he’s also painfully aware, of how it’s not like him. how he usually always wanted a challenge, and never something easy. he’s aware that if anyone else just sat with him in the library, or studied with him, he’d have been bored, ready to do anything else. and yet, sitting with her was enough.
but all this means too much. more than he’s willing to consider, especially since they’re just friends. will only ever be friends. so he meets her words with a steady gaze, as if nothing like what he’s been thinking has been on his mind at all. ❝ yeah. of course. You know I always have fun with you ❞ actually, he doesn’t know if he’s ever told her that in such explicit terms. but she must know. he hardly spent so much of his time around people he didn’t care for. he smiles at her words , and he’s aware again of how they shouldn’t mean so much to him. they should just be the joking words of a friend. instead, he feels a heat flush through him, almost ducks his head out of some weird sense of sudden pleasure that she didn’t want to go with the beauxbatons champion. the boy everyone had been talking about. instead she wanted to go with him.
eyes find the boy across the room as she spins him, agrees with lily’s assessment it looks fake. he should know, he’s had to experience both. ❝ he’s boring. all he talks about is himself, and his families estate in nice. trust me, I promise you’ll have more fun with me ❞ not even a hard to make promise, but he feels a sense of sudden responsibility for it. like now he had to make sure the two of them had the best night they could.
❝ I’m glad you came with me ❞ he’s said this already, and yet with his eyes on the other champion, it’s more clear his words mean instead of with him. and it’s only now looking at the other champion, imagining lily in the place of the girl he’d brought along, did he realise how much that image bothered him. sirius would have laughed, sirius would have smacked him in the arm and told him he was jealous. except he had no reason to be, both because lily had not gone with the other boy, and because even if she had, they were just friends. no matter how much this night, and having to rest his hand on her hips, and having her stand so close while they were danced they were practically chest to chest was making his heart race. to
lily ignores the curious gazes as they move around the dance floor. pays no attention to the whispers that are just loud enough for her to catch. oh, rumours will have certainly spread through the grapevine by morning. and she’ll no doubt spend all of breakfast insisting to her friends that james and her are just friends. that them going to the ball together had been mere convenience. that they both agreed they would rather enjoy the evening with a friend then be awkwardly suffering through with a date they barely knew. after all, isn’t that why she turned down the beauxbatons boy?
at least that’s what she tells herself.
❝ you know -- he found me in the library once. ❞ an amused smile dances across tinted lips. it had been annoying, actually, since he had been the one she was hiding from. ❝ got us both kicked out. don’t think pince cared much for his family history either. ❞ it was perhaps the only time she’d been relieved to have been kicked out. he had been hard to tune out, his voice getting louder ( and more distracting ) the more he spoke. he’d asked her to the yule ball after that. seemed to think the bragging would have been enough to charm her. it only made her more determined to say no.
lips part to speak, to echo the sentiment back at him, but the music stops and the polite clap that breaks across the room interrupts her. it almost seems to break a trance. it’s only then that she realises how close they’ve become. how clearly she can see the detailing of his eyes, the light golden flecks that highlight hazel. her heart skips. a sensation she’s not used to, not around james. her throat drying. and for a moment she feels unlike herself. like a girl caught in one of her sister’s favourite romance movies, a soft tune playing in the background as she discovers the true feelings lingering deep down.
lily puts it down to the fruit punch and romantic atmosphere.
she steps back, but a hand remains in his as she drags james away from the dance floor. soon enough the band changes from the three piece that had accompanied the champions first dance to a more popular wizard rock group, causing a swarm of students to ascend to the dance floor. ❝ want to get some fresh air? ❞
<anon> ur stinky </anon>
@stagcharmed i found ur anon
i’ve seen so many cursed jil.y tikt.oks today somebody save me
The last enemy.
𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓.
❝ I'm serious lily. promise you will - ❞ his grip tightens on her hand . just in case . he isn't sure if this muggle hospital is the best idea, even a good idea . he trusted lily more than anyone else he knew. that didn't change that he was scared. that he was trying not to show it, because lily was crying, and he never wanted to be a reason she cried like that. but he couldn't stop thinking about all the people who had died. so many even he was starting to lose track of their names. ❝ I trust you. it's going to be fine. but if it's not . . . just make sure people don't forget about me ❞ he'd hate that, can think of few worse fates after death than to be forgotten to time, disappearing into smoke and dust like he'd never existed .
she wants to keep fighting him. to insist that he’s being silly -- overreacting, but lily also knows it won’t help. not when they could just as easily die walking down the street as they could in hospital; 𝒎𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒆. so she brings his knuckles up to her lips, placing a soft kiss. ❝ you’re hardly the forgettable sort. ❞ there’s a gentle smile on her lips, but it’s broken by a sniffle as another silent tear falls down her cheek. maybe she’s being silly too. after all, she knows he’s going to be fine. in the short term, anyway. in the long term -- well, she can’t be so sure. this is just a painful reminder that their futures are not guaranteed. ❝ 𝒊 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆. ❞
happy jily day ❤️❤️❤️
ind. 𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙫𝙖𝙣𝙨 & 𝙟𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 . . . resurrected by alice and rooney
𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒆.
‘ I can’t believe you’re still bringing that up, ’ he huffed, hands going up in an exasperated gesture. ‘ MacDonald’s fine. And he didn’t go after her because she was a muggleborn, I told you, he just thought it was funny — I’m not saying it was funny! I’m just saying he has a shitty sense of humor. ’ He paused, and shifted. ‘ It was just a hex, Lily. The Gryffindors go around hexing people all the time and it’s only a big deal when he does it — come on. MacDonald’s fine. ’ Privately, he thought she wouldn’t have been hexed in the first place if she didn’t poke her nose in other people’s business and kept her head down like other people did to avoid Mulciber’s attention — but he’d said that to Lily before, and he was trying to avoid another fight, not jump straight into one.
He looked at her quietly. Waited for her to gather the courage of her House and say the words she wanted to, the ones they danced around for so long now, that hovered at the edge of every argument they had like a knife. Like an axe waiting to fall and cut them clean down the middle. ‘ Unless what? ’ He asked, voice low and even but not calm. Frightened, a shake beneath his words that he clamped down on with both hands. Frustrated, too. ‘ You think I hate you? ’ You think I could?
lips press in a firm line. it’s an argument they’ve had before. some might call it differing points of view, but she’s not sure it’s so simple. not sure if severus is not allowing himself to see the truth or if he’s purposely ignorant. after all, those friends of his had never been shy about their hatred for muggleborns, nor their future plans. and she worries for him. hates seeing the change happen right before her eyes. 𝒍𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅. that her best friend, who she would sit on the swings with for hours and fantasise about hogwarts, was still in there somewhere. ❝ she’s not fine, sev. ❞ there’s an abrupt change in tone. lower, more serious. sure, physically mary macdonald might be virtually unscathed – 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏. ❝ and there’s a big difference between the hexes they use and the one he used, you know that. ❞
head shakes. denial on the tip of her tongue. because it’s easier to try and keep the peace by denying the truth – but what good is it doing them? a somewhat frustrated sigh falls from her lips. ❝ i don’t know. maybe – ❞ and now she feels foolish. after all, 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. by her side through so much. of course he doesn’t hate her, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate what she is. her heritage. the thought dances in the back of her mind during the darkest hours. ❝ sometimes i think . . . maybe you forget what i am. that 𝒊’𝒎 𝒎𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏, too. like mary macdonald. ❞ she looks him in the eye, then. but there’s a blurriness, tears that spread across her waterline. ❝ what if mulciber went after me next? ❞
@stagcharmed, 𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓.
the day had start like all the rest. up before the sun, red hair tied up in a messy ponytail, a strong cup of coffee in hand as she loaded into the ambulance. ready for another gruelling twelve hour shift. at the end of which she would, deservingly, collapse into bed.
lily didn’t expect to be 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒋𝒐𝒃 by the end of it.
they were on their fifth job of the day when things started to take a turn. an elderly man who had fallen, insistent that he recognised lily. a football fan. claimed he had seen her picture in the paper. she shook it off, laughed about how she had one of those faces. helped him, and moved onto the next job. a teenager who had twisted their ankle at school. who sported a football scarf. who had recognised her instantly, and suddenly lily’s face was all over twitter. paramedic’s uniform in full show. she was called back to base after that job, told to take the rest of the day off as they dealt with hoax calls. fans, admirers, and journalists -- 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒎 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓. by the end of the day it was suggested she take some extended leave.
lily couldn’t go home. marlene had texted her not to, that photographers were camped outside. her parents house was the same. so she checked into a hotel. not a nice one, just a random premier inn that still had rooms available. it was pricey, she’s sure she’s been ripped off, but 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆. just sitting in the dark, tears streaming down her cheeks, waiting for james. and when the lights finally flicker on, the question that’s been on her mind all day finally leaves her lips.
❝ 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕? ❞
LUDOVICA MARTINO per Timeless Production (ph. Francesco Guarnieri)
sometimes lily calling james by his first name is something can feel so personal -
