It’s taken me 30 years and 2 months to get here.
Not to battle my dogs, grow a a demon or own a baby or whatever it is people do. To start a fucking blog.
Here’s some tips from a newly qualified blog expert on how I got to this point:
1) Procrastinated for approx. 30 years
2) Masturbated for about half of that
3) Chose Tumblr after years of flirting with Wordpress articles. I went for the one that gave less back but was an easier win alright.
4) Have no idea ‘what my interests are’ ‘what I know about’ ‘what content I can create that is useful, interesting or funny’
5) Got incredibly defensive at the blog set up page and thought…
5.1) How have I got to 30 and no-one has ever asked me these questions before (Spoiler: It’s because no-one gives an actual fuck)
5.2) I don’t know the answers to these questions anyway, am I some sort of empty vessel filled with nothing but Instagram captions and red wine?
6) Drink half a bottle of red wine
7) Start untangling necklaces
8) Drink half a bottle of red wine
9) Stop beating myself up about not having thought or written anything ever, who cares cos I’m pissed and I just posted a photo where my life and arse looked unbelievably perky
10) …And there’s my first blog post. About fucking time.
Maybe you’ll find my tips useful, interesting or funny. Maybe you’ve just had a good old sexy procrastinate.