#startingline.

[yeolkeot]

( @consilian )

elegance isn’t kihyun’s style. his mother could drill it in him as many times as she wanted, she was hitting brick, kneading stone. it wasn’t something that could sit on him. kihyun couldn’t wear it like a mask, couldn’t pretend and for as many times as he’s tried to fit his mother’s mold, he’s okay with slipping out this one. he’s not trying to be elegant, not trying to be subtle either. he sticks out, black hoodie and all. 

it’s early, and it’s one of the reasons the gesture is so bold. anyone who knew kihyun knew mornings didn’t agree with him. it’s for a number of reasons but he just thinks he’s not fit to see something as beautiful as the sun rise in the morning. doesn’t seem right. night owls never complain about missing the sunrise, so perhaps he was just born in the wrong form. maybe then everyone would leave him alone. maybe then they’d stop asking about the bags under his eyes, or the greasy hair, the frame that looks too tired to try. he’s none of that today though. he looks decent, fuller, maybe a little puffy around the eyes but it’s natural. he doesn’t look as suspicious, standing underneath her dorm, a cup-holder in one hand and his phone in the other. 

( sms: cupid’s minion ) come downstairs. ( sms: cupid’s minion ) dressed. ( sms: cupid’s minion ) I have cocoa.

he probably could have planned it better, worded it nicer but he’s not the type. she of all people should get that.

[tuansum-blog]

/ @daseotsal let’s fly!

( sms: kard j.seph ) calling in 3, 2, 1

“Koala where are you, koala, koala.” his voice is soft, a little scratchy from the fanmeet but softer because he likes the sounds in australia more. he doesn’t expect to actually find one. for one thing it’s late, it’s the only time he can actually venture out the hotel without worrying about being spotted. even now his cap is low and he’s got himself bundled in the most inconspicuous outfit he could manage. as inconspicuous as black and white combos could be. it’s peaceful though and there’s a slight bounce to his step despite his caution. “koala koala~” he’s humming an unknown tune, waiting for the face to pop up on the screen.

[tuansum-blog]

/ @femmetfille let’s fly! 

[IMGATTACHMENT] noona

[IMGATTACHMENT] hyuna noona.

( sms: hyunana ) do you ever eat something and all your problems are solved? 😩😩

( sms: hyunana ) I thought I was homesick now I feel at home.

mark’s full. the good kind of full, where it sits in his chest for a bit afterwards. the kind of satisfaction he gets after a concert. he’s that kind of full too, after meeting his fans and having a successful fanmeeting, if his instagram update was anything to go by. it’s not an easy feeling to get, some days are left with regrets, with little pockets missing like the one of a member waiting back at home. he fills it by sending out messages, by making use of the energy he’s missed by his side, and hyuna is the first on the list.

[tuansum-blog]

/ @sujjico let’s fly!

the good thing about the fanmeeting meant a lot of downtime. the bad thing meant that they still had to remain indoors, rehearsals didn’t take up as much time but scrutiny did. for the most part there were no incidents with fans but they were all encouraged to stay inside unless they were in route to another city. mark didn’t much but he got a little restless, the good thing was he could catch up on talks he hasn’t had in a while.

( sms: 수지 ) so, since I’m here. I request tips on posting aesthetics.

( sms: 수지 ) I’m trying to convince jyp to let us have a concert here.

( sms: 수지 ) jyp nation in australia? sound fun?

[diamina]

/ @roseune

Winter clings to Mina desperately. It bites at her skin and tries to penetrate her smile. It’s lazy but scrambling to fix itself on her body. Fix your lips; the words of her mother echo somewhere in her mind. Mina’s spent so many years being frozen and still that the winter is nothing but a reminder of her strength. It’s a reminder of her warmth. If anything she wears the cold as a protectorate, a charm. See how the cold slides off her and sits on shoulders like fresh snow and know that this woman is a conqueror in her own right.

It’s why she doesn’t flinch much when she first steps outside. Her attire consists of shorts, fuzzy boots and a sweatshirt. Her colleagues at first glance might not believe it was her but the woman beside her knows her too well. Mina trudges down the street with her hands on her lips and her cries out her throat. 

“Sunny-ah!” This is perhaps the only time desperation ever crawls out her body. She can’t say it’s the last but she aims to have control over it. She has control over her movements, though they appear scattered across the pavement. She has control over her voice as it echoes into the empty night. “Ahhhhhhh Rose what if she’s caught under something? You just had to go and scare her huh?” She means no harm by the words though, she laughs them out in fact and waits for the female to catch up.

If anything winter is an obstacle.

[yeolkeot]

( @hyraeths )

“y’know I hate beer.” no one really knows. kihyun hates the taste, hates how it tastes like everything he’s ever left behind. like a kick to his chest, like a burn inside that he only ever needs outside. he parts his lips over the can, ready to speak again and his voice comes out more accustomed to the cold air. “beer an’ banana milk taste like a bad joke.” like them? like him. that’s probably why he keeps drinking it. burning slick alcohol bubbles around thick milk and it’s fucking disgusting.

they are. sick and sickening. they are. restless and reckless. wanted and shrouded in want. to feel to think to be anything but what they are. she who drowned herself in her own body hoping she wouldn’t shrink and instead bloat into an image. he who huffed and huffed and forgot to puff, he who inhaled so much he forgot what it meant to release because he too tried to fill and not shrink.

this is his apology. this is his exhale. the mess of colors scratched over a wall across from them. the mural? it’s a thought. it’s a million thoughts. it’s substance, it’s more than he could ever be but it comes from him and he decides that’s just as good. that works. he can create substance so it comes from somewhere right? it should! it has to! he drowns the desperation with another sip and lets his feet kick against the ledge, paint drying everything. on his fingers that wrap around the can, on his pants ripped and dusted with that same recklessness that’d make his mama cry. 

“it’s missin’ somethin’ ain’t it?” the spray cans still pool at the bottom of the wall in question. his legs kick out. the beer kicks back. his brain cries out and he sighs into the air once more. 

“hey wall? th’fuck you wanna be?! you look like shit!” actually, kihyun looks like shit. he sounds like it too.

[yeolkeot]

@carnalities

it begins a little muffled. in the beginning it was a concept.it sounds like if he, if he if he ifheifheifhe-------- dared. then it was cool and collected, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t hewont. he. they. it? kihyun hasn’t really identified them as a person yet. he’s living his life like a dream, light like an oracle and hard like a bull. yet here he is walking into the first storm he’s had in a while and trying to find the eye, trying to close his hand around itself and not fish for the lighter he knows is in his pocket. he’s trying to prove he can sit in the eye and let the wind rip him apart while he smiles. 

see the error is blaring now, it’s not muffled, it’s not suggestive, it’s not a nagging possibility that he can quiet and swallow. the error is red across his eyes and silver. it’s fucking silver. ITS HIM IT’S HIM IT’S HIM ITS H I M ITSITSITS WHAT----- IS-------- IT? ( it’s me it’s not me it’s them it’s someone ) the realization comes slow, like he can’t put it together. the first time kihyun saw them he touched himself and reached out hoping to touch glass. when he didn’t touch anything he wanted to throw up. he had to excuse himself from the gallery much to his mother’s chagrin. once is okay. once is gripping the sink and nodding. twice is gripping the wall and laughing.

three is a bit much.

now he’s walking. he’s moving around the gallery and observing and smiling as he should. an error should be a test, an error should be outwardly uncompromising. as silver blares across his vision demanding attention kihyun lets his duties guide his feet. he’s trying to prove he won’t crack but his finger touches something smooth in his pants pocket and warmth rises in his belly. mom said not to wear the dress pants with the pockets. his hands still. he remembers. he’s walking again.

“hey you,” his hands slip out his pocket, lighter left grazing fabric and red grazing across his vision. his words come out slow and unpracticed, low and unassuming. “get out.”  go say hi to everyone his mother had said. this counts right? 

[yeolkeot]

            ( @warmia )

“owwwwww ow ow ow owwwww what the hell!”

          so kihyun usually over-reacted. this was normal it was expected in fact. no day on campus was normal without him overreacting to any situation that crossed his path. no one really knows why he does this, no one really cares. they either pay attention and hope for a spectacle or they go about their day and wait for him to top. if he did it solely for the attention he would’ve stopped by now but most people have realized kihyun does this as an extension of his personality. it’s really an extension of his past but no one is bold enough to say that. they can put it in minor insult and watch him brush it off with a shrug, a smile or an even worse comeback. usually students decide to brush it off. usually he’s over-reacting. she’s not really hurting him, the female with her fingers wound tight around his ear pulling him mercilessly off campus and away from his dorm. well she is but not so much where he needs to belt out for mercy. he’d tried to get away when he saw her but she was quick. she was also upset about, something. “let go let go let go what are you even doing here?!” never had someone seen kihyun submit himself so willingly to another but never have they met a girl like ahyeon. “yah yah let go and I swear I won’t run off. If you’re here about my roommate’s friend saying you were his girlfriend I had nothing to do with that!” well he might. she could be here for a million reasons but the fact that she is here is a surprise in itself.