#staticlog

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I made a flag, it’s a gay transmasc flag.

“Gay transmasc” in this case is defined as: any transmasculine individual who experiences same-gender or similar-gender attraction to masculine individuals in a way they feel is gay.

If you’re thinking “isn’t there already a gay transmasc flag?” the answer is probably yes. I don’t care how much use this one sees, if it’s only me who uses it that’s fine. But due to how I interact with color symbolism thanks to autism, I get very frustrated and upset with flags designed to be “masculine” or “male” focused that are overwhelmingly blue. Maybe I’m just a nonbinary guy and that’s why, but I get upset seeing things like the recent “gay” flag for gay men that’s just blue, blue, blue! No hate to blue - but why why why keep using a stereotypical color for men and masculine people? It’s upsetting to me for that reason.

But I don’t want to take away any joy anyone might feel from those flags - so I made my own. Here is the (Warmth) Gay Transmasc flag. Use it, or don’t! No pressure.

The colors represent:

-binary trans men (deep maroon)

-not-quite binary trans men/transmascs and intersex men as well as masc individuals who may or may not consider themselves/their identity as an intersex person to be trans (but who may identify with this concept, if desired) (red)

-nonbinary men and transmascs (orange), genderless transmascs (yellow), and finally, red once more for masc attraction and anyone trans who feels attached to masculinity or maleness but does not feel included in the above definitions. (This includes individuals who are only sometimes are men, or who are men as well as other genders simultaneously.)

Ultimately if you think it fits and you want to use it, go for it. And if not, don’t feel pressured. I made this for me. But you can use it too.

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=I’m minding my own fucking business can the vague shape threatening to form into yet another damn headmate either shut the fuck up or make up its mind and take a fucking SHAPE already !!!! “Ooh I’m Alucard no wait I’m Loki nooo I’m False ooh I’m not an introject I’m someone else noooo I’m a mindless shape that keeps appearing” god you’re annoying choose a bastard or go away until you’re fully formed bitch... don’t need that emotional and dissociative stress right now thanks

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[Lio]

Heads up, I am no longer tagging my posts with “staticlog” “statictxt” or “staticimg” - I’m keeping stuff with those tags as they are (I’m too lazy to change ALL of them and I will leave them for navigation). From here on they will be “liolog” “liotxt” and “lioimg”.

TLDR is: I called myself “static” for a while in reference to the fact that I’m a Noise, which when damaged/hurt ‘bleed’ visual static. But it was kind of melancholy, or self-deprecating; imagine naming yourself “pain” or “bleeding” because it’s what you experience when you’re harmed. It’s an implication of an open wound, of a consistent pain, of suffering.

And yeah. Sometimes I’m suffering and sometimes identifying with the experience of suffering is cathartic and helps me get through it. Sometimes recognizing my outworld pain and visualizing it as inworld pain helps deal with it. But I’ve come to the conclusion that calling myself what basically equates to “Suffering” is maybe not the right mental health move.

So, instead - let’s go with Lio! A name I first identified with a few years ago (well, similar, I was thinking of Leo then) but ended up not using because the week I was going to put the name forward to my then friend group, one of the group reconnected with her sibling and reintroduced him, and he came out as a trans man with that name. So I shoved it aside.

But I don’t really spend time with them now, and I’m still attached to the name, and I find myself wanting to use a “real” name among system spaces. Not to mention, I absorbed a LOT of Promare’s Lio into myself (the median subsystem did some shuffling) and really like the name with that spelling now.

So, Lio, not Static anymore, from here on out.

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[Lio] Hi I want to stop having the Disorder part of OSDD and just have the Plurality part please please pleaseeee brain I am begging you to just leave us alone and let us vibe. Just let our system vibe please. Stop being disordered on top of that I’m begging you

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[Static] As someone whose favorite Marvel film universe entity is Loki I want to watch the show but my fellow sysmate Loki, who is 5’0” exactly and very goth, is hissing at the thought of seeing “that stretched out ass weird creep version” of it in anything

[Loki] I might kinda be partially sorta him but I hate lookin at his fuckin face why is he so tall and stretchy. Why’s he talk like that. Ew man I can’t watch that shit it’s like lookin at a fun house mirror and pretending it’s high cinema. Also they keep givin him extra gender and I don’t GOT any of that shit

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[Static] Koha is annoyed at how hard it is to mod Stardew Valley, he just wants purple skin and cat ears dammit

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[Static] wow. So fuckin cool that tumblr adds colors to the pride tags and go with a fucking blue gay one! Wow!! Blue for men! Again! Incredible! Ughhh

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[Static] You know, it’s amazing. I see things like “OSDD can never be cured but you can live happily with it!” and it pisses me off.

Cured? Cured?? I don’t want to be cured. WE don’t want to be cured. Our system’s existence is what saved us. Our system is what helps us stay healthy. Yes we’re “disordered” in the eyes of the medical world, but this is the way our brain works best.

I suppose this is why I tend not to get along with other medical-focused or disorder-focused systems even if they’re also DID/OSDD/DDNOS. No hate to them, of course, but there’s so much focus in a lot of those circles on how broken and hurt we are. I know! I know we’ve been changed permanently by what’s hurt us. But we are happy to survive and happy that our new state of being is so good for us.

This isn’t meant as a discourse post, I’m just venting about how frustrating it is to see people focused on the aspects of being plural that are considered broken or bad in psychiatric terms when we are living our life. Do we struggle sometimes? Of course. But we need not be cured. We aren’t broken. We’re just different from the norm.