#steve!castiel

[worrynoodle]

Spn 9x06 the victims that have been vaporized were 1. a man who had been divorced, and 2. a girl who had been broken up with, and... Cas, who had just been broken up with kicked out of the bunker.

Who is acting like a "scorned lover" according to [a director or writer (I can't remember)]

[sweetonsugden]

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[urboymutual]

[milkxcookie]

Old 2016 art. This is basically the only supernatural fanart I've ever drawn. Also the first drawing I've ever done where I attempt a realistic approach. Look at those nostrils.

[agusvedder]

Something about “Heaven Can’t Wait”

When Cas says to Dean (while looking at him intently in the eyes): 

“It's different now, Dean. Everything feels different”

Then talking to baby Tanya he says to her: 

“Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just … shoved out kicking and screaming into this human life, without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels, or why this confusion, which feels like it's … a hair's breadth from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand, it'll turn out you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all. Guess that's just how it is when you're new at this. You know, it wasn't that long ago when all I'd need to do to ease your pain was touch you.” 

Cas was struggling with his new human feelings: Confusion, pain, terror, loneliness. He told baby tanya that with a touch of his fingers he could alleviate his pain. (A foreshadowing of what Ephraim would like to do with him later?)

Could that feeling be LOVE?

Especially since Cas's struggle started when Dean went to find him at Gasn'Sip.

I don’t know, it’s 3 am here and I can’t sleep, and can’t stop thinking about Cas’s face neither.  I mean, he was so much in pain, and not because of Nora, not because of his new Human life (later we found out that he consumed angel grace just in case they’re “going to war”) BUT HE LOOKED SO MISERABLE

 I don’t know. IMO he was strugglin’ with Dean’s presence and how that made him feel... I mean, look at that, His heart stopped right there: 

Poor Baby. 

[ldrmas]

Would have it been funny that Cas retained just enough of his grace or stole it from that angel girl he was going to go with to the grand canyon, and got a job as a bartender when Dean kicks him out. I mean its the perfect job. Everyone knows he recommendes either Deans favorite beer or the drink that Dean keeps ordering for Crowley. The one with the little umbrella. And then every single person can order him a shot and he is still sober by the end of his shift. And everyone always laughs at his statement that everything just tastes like molecules to him. Plus he would make enough tips to at least pay for the night at the motel across the street. Can you imagine Deans face if he saw his angel of the lord behind a bar sharing a drink with someone else? "Ill take a bowl of peanuts and a beer?" "What are you doing here?" "Well hello to you, Cas." "Its Steve now! And you surprised me, is all."

[instant-oatmeal]

[greenappleeyes]

Secret Lives (Part 3)

Words: 1.4k

Summary: You and Steve(Castiel) are enjoying your new relationship when an old friend shows up.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, language

A/N: This one actually made me sad to write. There is obviously some canon divergence here (no assumed date with Nora, no sad Steve!Castiel- but we can still assume he was attacked) Tags at the end, let me know if you want to be added.

—————

You and Steve acted like a couple, although you never formally defined your relationship. He went about his routine of shifts at the Gas-n-Sip while you fielded calls and helped with minor researching for active hunters. You were amazed at how you started to think you could live a life like this permanently. You never would have thought about staying in one place before; not until you met Steve.

He eventually asked you how you earned money. You hated lying to him, but you didn’t want to expose him to the dangers of hunter life. “I work on an off as a private investigator.” Not completely untrue. “I like to think that I help people, but it can be a stressful job. Always being on the road, staying in these motels, never feeling home anywhere; it gets old.”

He nodded, thinking of Sam and Dean. “Yes, I have friends that work in a similar profession. It keeps them very occupied.”

“What about you? What’d you do before the Gas-n-Sip? Let me guess! You’re highly educated, well-mannered, and a totally adorable dork. Professor, maybe?” you questioned with a grin.

This was the moment he had been dreading. How was he supposed to explain having no background prior to becoming human? “Um, no. I worked with my… family. I made mistakes and they felt it best that I leave. I have no way of fixing it now, so I’ve moved on.”

You wrapped your arms around him because you could tell it was a painful memory. “That’s awful, Steve. I’m sorry. Everyone makes mistakes, ya know. To just abandon you and leave you all alone? That’s just terrible.”

You knew he preferred to focus on the present; the past was seemingly full of painful memories. So you never asked him about it again. You both were completely happy with what you had right now.

—————

One day, you had finally made up your mind. You were tired of this motel. You had been staying there with Steve for almost 2 months now. You wanted to find a place of your own to share with him. You hadn’t said it out loud, but you loved him. It shocked you immensely how hard and how fast you fell for him, but you couldn’t deny it.

When you told him your plan, he was equally excited. “I haven’t had a place to call home in a long time. I would love to share a home with you. I’ve, very much, enjoyed our time together.” He smiled and winked at you. “In bed and otherwise.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him for a moment. “I’ve also enjoyed our time together.” You mimicked his wink. “In bed and otherwise.” You giggled as he tossed you to the motel bed and stretched out over you. His sexual appetite was practically insatiable.

“Steve!” you giggled. “You have to be to work in less than 20 minutes.”

“Mmhm,” he mumbled against your neck. “We have time.”

“Steve…oh fuck… baby we do–on't… have time.” You barely got the words out due to his knowledge of exactly which spots drove you wild. You pushed him up to look in his lust-blown eyes. “You’ve got to get ready or you’re going to be late.”

He grunted, knowing you were right. He didn’t have the time to fuck you like you deserved right now. “Mmm fine. We will continue this tonight after I help out Nora.”

“Oh, right. You’re babysitting tonight. Such a good employee.” you joked, pulling him down to kiss you. You had intended on it being brief, but he drew it out until you forced him away from you with a laugh. “Go! Get ready.”

You drove him to work as usual, receiving your usual peck on the lips. Before you let him go you felt, for some reason, now was the right time to tell him. “Hey, um, you don’t have to say anything, but I wanted to tell you something.” He cocked his head the way he always did when he was slightly confused. “You mean a lot to me Steve. I, um, I love you. Like I said, you don’t have to say…”

He cut you off with a kiss. “I believe that I love you too, Y/N. You have made me happier than I ever imagined I could be.” He sighed and looked towards the store. “But, I have to go, or else I will be late. We can finish this conversation, tonight.” He held your chin with his thumb and forefinger and kissed you again before making his way inside the store. ————

Returning to the motel, you say an all-too-familiar black Impala sitting in the parking lot with an equally familiar man leaning against it. “Shit.” You muttered to yourself. “Fucking Winchesters.”

Stepping out of your car, before he even had a chance to say hello, you asked, “What do you want, Dean?”

“Well, hello to you too, sweetheart.” he was mildly annoyed, but used to your short tone with him. “It’s been too long, how have you been.” You knew that tone. That was the ‘we used to hook up occasionally after a hunt, but we don’t anymore’ tone.

You let out an exasperated sigh, “I hate to be the girl that responds to a guy with the boyfriend line, but I have a boyfriend Dean. He’s a good man and…” you tried, but failed to hide your blushing smile. “And he loves me. I have a life, a normal life. So please…”

“So please just leave before he gets back, yeah yeah, I get it.” He actually sounded a little disappointed.

“I’m assuming you didn’t stop by for a hook-up. What did you actually need? I can help question some folks or do a little research, but I don’t hunt anymore.” You softened your tone because you technically owed him your life, more than once over.

He leaned back on the Impala and crossed his arms. “Rogue angel’s been killin’ humans.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Oh, is that all?! Why don’t you get your own little angel buddy, what’s his name? Castiel? Why don’t you have him help you?”

He let out a sad sigh, “He’s not exactly available at the moment. But, don’t worry about it. I’ve got another guy close that can help.” He reached over and put his hands on your shoulders.“Live your life kid, you deserve to be happy.”

You pulled him into a hug, “Thanks Dean. Don’t be a stranger though. I may not be a hunter anymore, but I’d like to think I’m still your friend.”

He pulled away, “Alright alright, no need to get all gooey. I’d better head out and get this angel business dealt with.” You said your goodbyes and he was off with a rumble with an engine.

————

You had waited for Steve to call you until you fell asleep. When you woke up and saw daylight without hearing from him you got worried. You called Nora and she informed you that he had left her house the evening before without incident.

You tried the police, but he had used a fake name and Nora wasn’t exactly thorough with a background check. You tried to track his phone, but the SIM card must have been ditched and destroyed. You used every single hunter trick in your book and searched for weeks, but he was gone.

Sitting in your motel room, with a mostly empty bottle of whiskey, mourning the loss of the man you fell hard and fast in love with and the life you could have had with him. Tonight was your last night in this room full of once wonderful, but now painful memories. Tomorrow you would be on the road to investigate a series of suspicious deaths in California. Raising your glass, as the tears streamed your face, you said to no one, “Once a hunter, always a hunter.”

————— Tag list: @splendidcas @Seasalticecream0131 @grunge-crybabies @love-charmer-sketch @hamartiamacguffin @heavenlyrainyparis @crowleysminion @mysteriouslyme81 @bitchasaurus @smoothdogsgirl @aly-birleanu @djs-lacrimose