No. 11 "All the lights going dark and my hope's destroyed."
@whumptober-archive
Animal Trap | Captivity | "No one will find you."
While the staff at ARC had been nothing but nice, Harrison felt stifled by it all. Steve had been there for him from the start, since the small cat he'd tucked under his arm after his parents had almost killed him. He'd even opened his house to him, let him stay in the spare room, even let him choose what he wanted to do with it. He didn't seem to care about his problems, or rather, the problems he created. Instead, he was a steady presence, there to pick the pieces up when things went wrong (which they so often did).
The only other wolf near his age that stayed over the summer was a slightly older boy named Fao. He had a younger brother too, Finn, who seemed to cause more mischief than the two combined, but never seemed to mean it.
Despite a rather rocky start between the two, which definitely didn't see Harrison’s wolf pinned and whining under Fao's, they'd become inseparable over the summer. When term time started again, it was only natural for them to share a dorm, and it shut their begging up.
Normally the school didn't have any problems from the surrounding town, but it seemed someone had it out for them. The farms nearby had livestock go missing, houses had their gardens trashed, the bins strewn across the streets. The Daniels were adamant that it wasn't the school's students causing problems, but the repeated meetings were met with deaf ears and angry people.
While the grounds had plenty of space for those students who had their wolf to shift and explore, their areas got smaller and smaller with the accusations. It wasn’t ideal, but they had to keep the kids safe, they had to come first. Fred, on one of his morning walks had come across a trap, and he saw red. It hadn't even been a humane trap, easily set off by a branch, and the branch snapped in two. While he put the notice to the school, warning against any shifting outside of the school buildings, he headed to the mayor's office, beyond furious.
His attempt was met with almost boredom, and they refused to do anything about it. The land was council owned, it wasn’t their problem. Fred was far from happy, but standing there wasn't doing anything. He needed to go higher, but his students were priority.
The assembly had everyone on edge, though it had been watered down for the younger years, an attempt to not worry them as much. The severity and seriousness of the situation had the older years worried, the reality of life outside the school not one they wanted to deal with.
Fao got on well with Harrison, they’d solidified a friendship quickly and were even quicker to start mischief in class, once the initial hostility had been dissipated. They often snuck out together at night, enjoying the land around the school, and even as the borders got tighter, they used it to let off some steam. Even after they’d been told basically not to go out at all, of course they’d not listened. They were going crazy cooped up inside, classes getting harder and stress building, and they needed to get out. Sometimes they stayed human, sometimes wolf, sometimes a mix. It didn’t matter really. They enjoyed themselves all the same.
They’d slipped out that night as wolves, Fao challenging Harrison to a race through the trees. They knew where they’d be safe, and they were careful, darting through the undergrowth, tails raised happily.
Harrison chased after Fao, his three legs not really slowing him down. He stretched out, gaining on the other wolf until he could leap at him, pulling him to the ground. It was all play, and he was sure Fao would return the favour.
They tumbled, Fao yelping as Harrison knocked him over. It turned quickly into a playful growl, wrapping his legs around him to keep him close as they scrapped.
Harrison growled in response, teeth nipping where he could. There was no heat, just play, just getting rid of all the pent up energy.
They were probably being too loud, but Fao didn’t care, too caught up enjoying the game. He countered Harrison’s nips with his own, all just play, no malice, and he was careful not to catch the skin underneath his thick fur.
With a happy yap, Harrison broke free, bounding ahead of Fao with his tail wagging. He paused a second for Fao to catch up, though sidestepped at the last minute, darting off. There was a sudden explosion of pain down his right front leg, cold metal biting into flesh. He could feel the snap, his leg forcing everything else to a sharp stop. He screamed in pain, writhing around and trying to get it off.
Fao chased after him, skidding to a stop as Harrison screamed, the snap of the trap echoing in Fao’s ears. His instinct was to panic, to run away, but he couldn’t. Harrison needed to stop moving, he was going to make it worse. Eyes flicking around, he didn’t see another, and he moved as close as he could, burying his nose in Harrison’s fur. The scent of blood and pain was overwhelming, but he had to try. Hars. Stop. Stop. Worse. He did his best to communicate, sending him an image of him still, the pain better. He had to try.
At Fao's nose in his side, he yelped again, scared and in pain. Panting heavily, he did his best to listen, looking to Fao with wide, terrified eyes.
It was working, thank god. Fao tried to reassure him, pressed up against him, despite the fact his heart was racing. How the hell was he going to get him out? He didn’t want to shift, but he wasn’t sure if he’d have a choice.
Harrison was getting dizzy, the overwhelming scent of blood making him feel sick. It took him back to places he didn't want to think about and he shook his head, trying to get away from it.
Fao did his best, moving to bite at the trap, desperately trying to get Harrison free, even when blood coated his tongue.
Harrison let out a low whine, his nose pressed to the dirt. His other paw batted at Fao, trying to get the pain to stop. Everything was foggy, everything felt so wrong, and he hated it. He wanted out, so he tried, pulling away as he snapped and snarled.
Fao pulled back, snarling in response just out of instinct. He wasn’t trying to make it worse, he was trying to help.
Harrison jerked away from Fao's snarl, the metal only digging further into skin. He could feel himself slipping, losing the fight against the pain. His head hit the dirt as he passed out, the blackness a welcome relief from the pain.
Harrison’s unconsciousness was as much of a relief as it was worrying. Unconscious, he wasn’t thrashing, making his wound worse, but it also compounded how unwell he was, how bad this injury was. Fao bit at the trap again, growling to himself frustratedly. He needed help, but he couldn’t leave Harrison.
As he slowly came back round, the pain was immense. He jerked away, his body not under his control as he shivered and shifted. That only made things worse, and he screamed. He couldn't focus on Fao in front of him, just the pain. He was going to die. He could feel it.
Shit. The fact he’d shifted made it ten times worse, the metal of the trap biting into his arm, already a bloody mess. He had no idea if there were cameras around, checking traps, but he didn’t have a choice. He had to shift too. Even in his panic, he managed it, and with shaking hands he forced the jaws of the trap apart. It made the bleeding worse, but it stopped Harrison from doing any more damage as he thrashed about.
“Harrison. Hars.” Fao said, his tone insistent. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay. I need to go and get help, okay? I’ll come back.”
His screaming slowly died down, drifting somewhere between conscious and not. Maybe he was still screaming, he wasn't sure of anything any more. Fao's words were lost to him, but as he reached for his friend, he was gone. That was it, then. He was going to die, alone and in the dirt.
Fao hated leaving Harrison. He wanted to stay, he really did, but he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t fix this here. He shifted back, knowing he’d be faster on four paws than two feet, and pelted back to the school. He was going to be in so much trouble for this, but that didn’t matter. Harrison was more important. When he got back to the building, he shifted again, pulling on the pair of boxers he’d stashed outside, and then headed in. “Fred! Steve! Sheila!”
Fred appeared first, frowning at his semi-naked son. "What the fuck is going on?"
“Get Steve, now. Hars is hurt.”
"Where is he? What happened?"
Steve had already heard Fao's shouts, and stuck his head around the door. "What's going on?"
Chest heaving, Fao looked at him. “It’s Hars. He- he got caught in one of the stupid fucking traps in the woods. I know we weren’t supposed to be out, I know, but we were being careful, I know where most of them are now, please don’t be mad. But he got his leg caught and then he shifted and it’s so so bad, he’s bleeding a lot and I didn’t have anything to stop it with and I hated leaving him and I’m worried but I had to go, I had to get help. I got him out of it, so he can’t do any more damage, but he needs help, needs it now.”
Steve didn't move for a moment, his mind reeling. If Fao was that worried, it must be bad. "Right. Fred, call BWH, tell them we've got a major trauma, we need someone here yesterday. I'll head back with Fao, get Sheila to get the rest of the kit, I'll meet her here. Towels, blankets, whatever you've got, try and get them warmed."
Fred nodded. Their punishment could wait. "On it."
Steve turned back to Fao. "You know the way?"
He nodded. “Like the back of my hand. It’s quicker as wolf, but we can get there on foot. We’ll need torches, though.”
"We'll go as wolf. I can carry the kit." They didn't have time to waste. "Come on, let's go."
“I can carry kit too.” Fao said, still full of adrenaline that made his hands shake.
"If you can." He nodded, rushing to the front door. They kept emergency kit there, after a few too many incidents over the summer, and Steve was beyond glad they had. He shoved it over his shoulders, making sure it was loose enough, and then shifted, landing as a wolf.
Fao grabbed a bag too, chucking it over his shoulders and shifting again. It was a lot of energy to flit back and forth, but it was their only option. The bag was heavy on his back, but better that than have no kit when they got to Hars. He bounded into the woods, eyes keen in the dark, and followed the scents to Harrison, overwhelmed by the smell of blood and fear as they grew closer.
Harrison was all too still as they approached, covered in blood and barely breathing. His arm was held to his chest, but the blood continued to ooze.
Steve shifted as soon as he could, dropping to his knees and throwing the kit next to him. He reached for his pulse, relieved as he found one.
"Hars, just hold on. You're gonna be okay." He all but begged, trying to get a look at his arm. "I'm sorry, this is going to hurt."
Fao was quick, digging around in the kit for a torch, as well as a couple of the blankets they kept in there. They would be back at the house soon with more, but it was something. He covered Harrison the best he could, aware the cold wouldn’t help at all, and then dug through the kit to find supplies he thought Steve might need, anything that looked familiar.
The amount of blood turned Steve's stomach, and the mess of skin and tissue was just awful. He paused for a second before grabbing for the tourniquet. The amount he was losing wasn't okay, but he'd be better losing his hand than his life.
The pain seemed to get worse, and Harrison was screaming before he realised it was him. His body threatened to shift again, but he didn't have the energy to give into it. His eyes were far from human as he snarled, showing his teeth.
Fao held the torch, giving Steve light to work with as he tried his best to help. Harrison’s snarl set his own wolf on edge, but he pushed it aside. This was too important to lose his head over.
“We’re helping Hars, you’re okay. I know it hurts, I know.”
Harrison tried twisting away from Steve, desperate for the pain to stop. He whined, panting with the pain as he struggled to stay conscious.
"Fao. Fao?" Steve tried again. "Hey, I know he's a lot right now, I know, okay? But I need you to try and help him, try and calm him down a little. Whatever the two of you normally do, whatever usually helps, I need you to try."
Fao looked up, his mouth dry. “Yeah, I can… I can try.”
"You've got this."
He made a noise. He wasn’t so sure. He settled at Harrison’s head, and then reached out a shaking hand to stroke through his hair. “Hey, Tomcat. It’s me, it’s Fao. You got yourself in a whole load of bother. I know I was winning, but you didn’t need to do this. It’s okay, we’re gonna get you sorted. Just try and breathe, that’s all you’ve gotta do. Keep breathing. I know it hurts, I know, but you’ve got to stay with us. You can’t shift again. I’m right here. Just think about that. The two of us by the river this summer, when you pushed me in? I was so mad, it was freezing, and you just stood there, tail wagging.” He sent him that image, though it was much harder person to person, he could just about manage. “And after, when we sunbathed, and you laid your head on me and fell asleep, all warm and cosy. We nearly missed dinner, I thought Sheila was gonna kill us. But it was worth it, to snooze in the sun with you.” That was what he sent next, warm sun in their fur, the weight of Harrison’s head on him, how it felt to drift off together, tired and content.
It helped more than Fao realised, more than he'd ever know. He leaned into his touch, his screaming finally stopped. He looked up at Fao, grateful he'd had at least one summer he'd been glad to be alive for. His voice was rough from screaming, his throat raw.
"Wolfie. Thank you."
“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” He soothed. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”
He shook his head slightly. He knew it wasn't going to be, but he'd made his peace with that. The summer with Fao had been worth it. He let his eyes close, though it wasn't entirely by choice.
Fao leaned forwards to kiss his forehead. “We’re gonna help, you’re going to be okay. Promise.”
Steve leaned back. "I've done as much as I can here. We need to get him back."
“How are we going to do that?”
"I'll carry him." He passed Fao his phone. "I need you to go ahead, hopefully the BWH medics are there. Give them that, they can have a look at it before we get there. Okay?"
Fao nodded, grabbing the kit again and throwing it over his shoulders, shifting and taking Steve’s phone in his mouth. He’d be quicker that way, and he could be delicate with it. He pelted through the woods, the path even more familiar now, and he skidded to a stop at the doors, shifting again and struggling to find his boxers where he’d left them before. He’d managed to smear more blood on Steve’s phone, as well as some drool, but he quickly wiped it off.
Sheila met Fao at the doors, scanning over him. "Are you okay?"
“Fine.” He said breathlessly, still feeling more wolf than human, his brain struggling to keep up. “Steve… Steve’s coming. Are they here yet? The medics?”
"They're almost here." She nodded. "Can we get you cleaned up?"
He shrugged, before he looked down. There was mud spattered up his arms and legs, mixed with streaks of blood, and he was drenched in sweat. “‘M fine, I need to talk to the medics.”
"You're covered in blood, Fao. You won't be able to go anywhere. Please, two minutes."
“Steve told me to go ahead and meet them, so they know what to expect. I’ve… I’ve got the pictures on his phone.”
"And they're not here just yet. I'll call you as soon as they are, I promise. But, you'll want to go with him, won't you?"
“Don’t know if I can stay human.” He admitted.
"That's okay. You can stay with me, if you'd prefer. We've always got meds."
“I don’t know.”
"It's okay. You're doing so well." She pulled him in for a hug, ignoring the state of him. "I'm proud of you."
He pulled back, a wildness in his eyes. “No, you shouldn’t be.”
"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're alright."
He shook his head. “No.”
"Fao. Breathe, it's okay."
“No, no.”
"Fao, come on. You can do this." She leaned away, her voice light. "Fred? Can you grab my red bag?"
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He whined, stepping back. “I know I fucked up.”
"No, no, no. Fao, sweetheart. You're okay. I'm not mad, nobody's mad. You're safe."
His wolf prickled at his skin. Why weren’t the medics here yet? Steve said they’d be here. Harrison didn’t have time to wait. “I’m sorry.”
"I know, but it's okay. I promise, it's okay." She turned to see Fred. "Ah, brill. Do we have any Q's? Can you grab me one?"
He backed away from her, eyes wide. His chest still heaved, his hands were still covered in Harrison’s blood, drying on his skin. He was supposed to be helping. Why wasn’t he helping? Why wouldn’t she let him?
"Hey, Fao. Why don't we clean those hands, mm? Just before the medics get here, so you can tell them all you need to, yeah? Can you let me come sit with you?"
Fred offered the kid a smile, discretely sneaking Sheila what she'd asked for while passing her the wipes. "I'm going to go get the gate, okay? They'll be here soon."
“I’m sorry.” He whimpered, more of a whine. “Please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry.”
She knelt, inviting him to do the same. "I'm not going to hurt you."
“We were being careful, needed to run off steam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please. I’ll be better.”
"I know you were being careful, you always are. I don't blame you for wanting to get out there. It's okay. Sit with me, sweetheart?"
Reaching a hand out behind him, Fao realised he’d hit the wall. He couldn’t go back any more. He could maybe run past Sheila, but Fred was around, he’d easily catch him. He was stuck. He had no choice but to kneel, eyes flicking around the room.
"Hey, there we go. Well done. That's really well done." She praised, offering the wipes. "Here, just to clean your hands."
He stretched out to take it suspiciously, roughly wiping the dirt and blood off of his hands. It didn’t do much, not really. It stuck to him, under his nails, the lines on his skin.
Sheila shuffled closer. "Can I help? "
He flinched. “No. Please don’t touch me.”
"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." She said softly. "I'm just gonna sit here."
“Don’t touch me.” He repeated.
"I'm just sitting here. Not doing anything. Want another wipe?" She held it out to him.
He took it like it was going to burn him, hands shaking, and scrubbed to try and get the rest of the blood and dirt off, still looking at Sheila.
"That's it, you're doing great. You're okay, I'm not mad."
There was still some blood caught around his nails, but he couldn’t get rid of it and he was struggling to keep it together enough to do it. “‘M sorry.”
"You're okay." She repeated softly. "Can I help yet?"
“I don’t need help.” Fao grumbled. “I need the medics to get here.”
"They're not here yet. I need to help you, you need to get him under control."
“I need to shift and stay that way.” Fao whined, but he knew he couldn’t. “Too much back and forth.”
"I know, I know. Can I help?"
He shook his head. “No.”
"Fao, I need you to reason with me, yeah? I'm trying to keep you in control, trying to let you make the decisions, but you're going to hurt yourself if you don't let me help." Her voice was soft but firm. "The best way you can help Harrison right now is to help yourself."
“I’m fine. Steve said I had to speak to the medics, I’ll speak to them and then shift and it’ll be fine.”
"You're not going to make it waiting for them." She said. "I can feel it from here. Hell, you're making me struggle with it, I can't imagine what it's doing to you. You've been through so much this evening, you're doing so well."
As much as she hated it, she knew Fao wasn't going to hold on much longer, let alone have a coherent conversation with the medics. She rocked backwards, taking a moment to breathe and prepare herself. She hated doing it, but the kids had to come first, even if they didn't realise.
"I'm really sorry you had to go through all this. You're okay, you're gonna be just fine." It was a well practised movement, a swift jab to his thigh with the injector with one hand, the other to make sure he didn't lash out and bite her again.
Fao’s eyes narrowed as she moved closer to him, his wolf bristling with suspicion and fear. It was warranted, too, because he felt the bite of the needle in his thigh, and yelped, quickly turning into a growl. The surprise sent him over the edge, shifting, his paws scrabbling on the floor.
"Easy, sweetheart." She soothed, sighing as he shifted. She'd obviously waited too long to get close to him, but the sedation would work either way. "You're okay."
The sedation worked quickly, and turned Fao’s thoughts to syrup. He whined, flopping onto the floor, his paws no longer working to hold him up.
She slowly reached for him, her hand in his fur. "There you go. You've done so well. You're just a snoozy pup now, eh?"
He whined again, feeling wrong and the fear building. Her hand in his fur made him flinch at first, but he soon relaxed under her touch.
"There, that's better, huh?" She kept her voice soft, her words as gentle as her touch. "You're doing so well.'
He shuffled closer, seeking the contact now. All the fight had drained out of him, he was exhausted, and every time he closed his eyes he could see Hars in the dark, smell the blood.
She stroked across his nose, working her way to his ears. It was obvious what he was thinking about and her heart broke with each small whine. She clicked at him.
"Hey, come here, yeah? Come on." She opened her arms.
He wriggled closer, laying his head in her lap. His tail wagged slowly, and he fought to keep his eyes open, overwhelmed.
She bundled him into her arms, holding him close. She pressed a kiss to his nose, murmuring softly to him. The sirens had only grown louder, and the tyres crunched on gravel as the medics pulled in. With a little struggle, she made it to her feet, Fao still in her arms.
He grumbled as she picked him up, but didn’t struggle, nestling into her. His ears flicked at the noise of the medics, but he couldn’t find the energy to care about it, the meds too strong.
Fao seemed content enough in her arms as she updated the medics, showing them the videos and photos from the phone. It was more than a little concerning, worse than they'd hoped, and the glances they shared worried Sheila. There was nothing they could do until Steve got there, and the silence they stood in was deafening.
Steve arrived with Harrison thankfully not long after, his son in an absolute state and not getting any better. Fao, even through his haze, could tell things were bad, and stretched out to try and see him, be able to say bye before they got him in the ambulance.
Sheila kept Fao from the fuss until they were sorted enough. They were going to knock him out, but Sheila knew he'd want to say bye to his friend. She headed over with Fao in her arms, talking softly to the wolf as she tried to explain what they were doing. She held him out enough for him to stretch his nose and touch Hars.
Harrison flinched at the wet nose against his cheek, making a small noise in surprise. He managed to crack his eyes open, though they quickly rolled again. His last thought, the furthest thing from private, had been Fao.
Fao worried for Hars, through the haze of drugs in his own head, Sheila’s words meant something, but not as much as he’d wanted. He could tell Hars was thinking of him, his thoughts loud and obvious, and his tail wagged softly.
With the drain in, Finn’s obs came up to a more acceptable level, the sedation they’d given him helping to keep him settled whilst they did it. With that sorted, they’d let Fao clean and even close the cuts to his head, talking softly to his brother as he did it all. He knew they’d bent the rules for him to let him do that, but he appreciated it. It certainly helped Finn out, and the nurse commented that he’d not been that settled or content.
They’d got him a place on ICU, and soon enough he was taken up there. Fao followed wearily, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Finn was still very sick, that much was obvious. He knew ICU was the best place for him, but it was still worrying. Nobody wanted their brother in intensive care. Fao was worried about his seizures, too, but they said Steve would see him whilst he was admitted to try and control them.
His fever was the most worrying, seeming to not get any better even with all of their treatments. It would take time, but for the moment, it was less than ideal.
Steve appeared after a while, Finn’s case perplexing him. The discussion he'd had with the ED hadn't shed any more light on it, but the scans hadn't shown anything he was too concerned with. Of course there was the matter of his infection, the antibiotics he'd already been on apparently having done nothing. The chest drain was a necessary evil, but Steve couldn't help the worry about it and his seizures. Finn wouldn't be conscious, of course, but it wouldn't be pleasant for him to pull it out.
Fao had settled at Finn’s bedside, exhausted from a long night and not a lot of sleep. He’d ended up resting his head on the bedrails, just to close his eyes for five minutes. At least he’d still be close to Finn, able to settle him if needed, or speak to the staff if they needed anything.
Steve sighed as he saw the brothers, reminded of their first meeting so many years ago. He cleared his throat gently. "Knock knock."
Fao lifted his head, hair falling in his eyes. “Oh, Steve. Sorry, wasn’t asleep, I swear.”
"You don't need to apologise." He said with a smile. "You deserve the rest. How are you getting on?"
"Bless him. I'd got a bed organised for him for the morning, your mum had said he was starting to struggle with absences and the paracetamol wasn't helping with his fever."
“When she called me tonight I assumed it was the big seizure we’ve all seen coming, but of course he had to be different.”
"Of course, it is finn, after all."
“Never a dull moment.” Fao said drily.
"That's very true."
“I suppose he couldn’t let me have all the fun.”
"You and Harrison caused enough stress, I don’t need him joining in, and I bet She and Fred don't either." Steve managed to joke.
“How is Harrison?” He asked. “Haven’t spoken to him in a little while.”
Steve's smile grew forced. "He's getting there. He's struggling a little with everything, but you know what that’s like."
“All too well. I’ll text him.” Fao said. “I’m guessing you’ve come to see Finn, I’ll stop distracting you.”
"Came to see both of you." He said softly. "There's not much neuro-wise I can do at the moment."
“Both of us? I hope I don’t need a neurosurgeon.” Fao joked weakly.
"I'm not on the market for more patients." Steve joked back.
“Good.” He murmured. “I’m good with my head intact, thanks.”
"Though I'm sure Sheila would be surprised to find you did have a brain." He teased, moving to Finn’s side. "Finn? Just Steve, you're okay."
Finn gave a groan, taking a moment to manage to open his eyes. He finally focused on Steve, gave a grunt in acknowledgement, and then rested his head back down.
Fao reached across to squeeze Finn’s hand. “Steve’s checking up on you, eh?”
"It's a stupid question, I know, but how are you feeling?"
Finn made a noise, his voice muffled by the mask. "Tired."
Fao huffed a laugh. “You and me both, kid.”
"I don't blame either of you."Steve said. "Aside from tired? Any pain?"
"No." Finn shook his head. "Fuzzy."
"Like before seizure fuzzy, or after fuzzy?"
That was too much effort. "Both."
Fao couldn’t help but smile. “Always helpful, Finn.”
"How many have you had now?" Steve murmured, looking through the notes. "Right, I'll ask them to keep an eye on it, I'll change the lorazepam to immediately if he does. What's the valproate doing? Hmm, I'll add that too, his other levels are good, that's fine."
Steve trailed off, making a few notes before returning his attention back to the brothers. "Right, a bit of a plan for you two. They're gonna keep the sedation going anyway, make that a bit more comfortable for you, Finn. I'll increase your normal meds, the new one we're trying, and that should help keep them away. If you do have a seizure, we've got that management plan in place and ready. I've written you up for more pain relief too, so just ask. You don't have to wait until if you have a seizure."
It was too much for Finn to pay attention, but he nodded all the same. "'Kay."
“Thank you, Steve.” Fao said, taking it all in.
"Is there anything else you need from me? Or want me to do?" He asked gently.
“No, no.” Fao murmured. “Other than tell the staff I’m a doctor that works here, none of them recognise me.” He couldn’t help the little laugh. “And obviously just keep looking after Finn.”
"I saw you'd managed to sort his lacs out, you did a good job." Steve said. "I'll make sure to let them know."
“They were great in ED.”
"I'm glad." He gave him a genuine smile. "I'll pop back later, see how the two of you are getting on."
“Thanks, means a lot.”
He hesitated before he left. "Hars wouldn't mind a text, and you're always welcome at ours."
“I’ll text him. Gotta keep myself entertained whilst sleeping beauty gets his rest.”
"Of course." He laughed. "Take care."
“And you.” Fao murmured, turning his attention back to Finn.
Finn gave a grunt in acknowledgement that Steve had left, already mainly asleep. He struggled to get comfortable, tossing his head in frustration.
“Here, let me help.” Fao said, standing up to fuss with Finn’s pillows.
He caught Fao's eye as he helped, frustrated and tired and feeling rubbish. Fao fixed the problem though, and that earned a sigh in content, one thing less to complain about.
With the pillows fixed, Fao moved to stroke through Finn’s hair, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to his forehead. He was still absolutely burning up, despite everything they’d done, and his hair was damp with sweat. He wasn’t quite as aggressive and delirious as he had been, but he certainly wasn’t well, and it seemed like everything they were doing wasn’t doing enough.
Biting his lip, he sat back down, worry churning in his stomach. He kept his hand in Finn’s once he was settled, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles.
“Love you, Finn. Don’t do anything stupid, please. Let’s get rid of this fever, it’s not doing you any good at all.”
3 - Hars and Finn babysitting the other in the basement
4 - Send in a request!
Voting ended onApr 7, 2024
1 - Fred and She pre-partners (in crime), Sheila has a shit upbringing and Fred is a lot more privileged.
Both She and Fred get hurt, they fwll in love, and their family and future collapse around them.
2 - Steve has a tragic history, we've seen that before, but it's never explained how he actually ended up with Fred.
3- The only way to keep Finn and Hars outta trouble? Have them babysit the other in the basement.
The back-to-school illness season had been through the entire family, and had returned to kick Finn's arse. Much to Steve’s frustration, Hars is working with a broken wrist, too. He's also the reason Steve’s turning grey.
Fao hadn’t felt right in a while. He’d been tired for ages, and whilst his depression often made him fatigued, this was worse. He’d been trying to head off a spiral for a while, and his recovery from the shooting that had nearly killed him had been understandably slow. He’d hated it, hated being laid up and it taking so long. He’d gotten better, a few months in, feeling better and starting to pick up work and other things. Work was great, working in the basement with Steve was great too, and getting back involved with his family business again felt right.
When Harrison had arrived, that month had been incredible (after a rocky start). It had been a glorious summer, warm and sunny, and they’d spent time getting lost in each other. It had been freeing, and exciting, and Fao had to admit he really liked spending time with Harrison. And then he’d left. Jetting off back to god know where, and it left Fao alone. Of course, he wasn’t actually alone, but it felt like it without Harrison. They’d had so much chemistry, formed such a connection so quickly, and when he left so suddenly it was just gone. But he’d been trying to keep himself on the straight and narrow, working hard. But this fatigue kept hanging over him, he was constantly just exhausted, far outside of his normal.
He’d been struggling to work out for ages, too. Every time he pushed himself, he’d get palpitations. Only for a split second, but it was enough to make him feel shit. Standing up too quickly made him dizzy, though that wasn’t that unusual for him when his blood pressure sat on the low side. It was getting more common, though, and often the dizziness came as the same time as the palpitations, only a split second.
He’d had them when he smoked, too. The rush of nicotine making his head spin and the flutter in his chest come back. He knew it wasn’t right, but he’d convinced himself it would go away in time, that his body just needed to self-regulate. He’d been through a lot, after all. The sore, tightness across his chest every so often ought to have scared him, but he’d grown used to aching. After all, it still wasn’t that long since he’d been literally shot in the chest, had his ribs broken by Finn’s CPR that saved his life. He was going to hurt.
Things had eased a little, and he’d started to think he’d been making it up. Maybe it was anxiety, or his shitty sleep, or his chest healing up slowly. He could’ve pulled something, surely that was it.
But then he woke up feeling absolutely fucking dreadful. His chest was tight, and the pain was certainly something. He was exhausted, and dizzy, and when he stood up he damn near passed out. He felt awful, but forced himself to get up and brush his teeth. It made him feel better, and he swallowed his meds with a grimace and headed downstairs to get himself a coffee and try and wake up a bit. Maybe that would stop him feeling so crap.
It didn’t. It made him feel worse, and he dragged himself down to the basement to do some work. He needed to keep his brain busy, and going through the supplies would do that. He’d been spending a lot of time with Finn, trying to work out how best to organise the basement to take more and more complex cases, avoiding hospital for their men where they could. It helped that Fao had his qualifications too, was gaining more experience. Some things would still need hospital, but after Fao’s dramatic reappearance, he wanted to get them better stocked. Finn had struggled, and he didn’t want him to be in that position again.
By lunchtime, he was really struggling. His chest pain had really kicked up a notch, and he couldn’t catch his breath. It was like he’d just run miles, and yet he was just sat at his desk. He pressed a hand to his chest, and figured he should at least get up to rest on the sofa, hoping that might help. Maybe he just needed a nap.
But standing up made him so, so dizzy, and he groaned, gripping the desk. Fuck. He couldn’t pass out, he just couldn’t.
"Fao?" Finn glanced up from his desk. "You look like shit. Why don’t you sit down?"
“I was… was gonna go lay down.” Fao said slowly.
"Let me do a few checks?" Something wasn't sitting right with Finn, and he wasn't going to let Fao leave.
“Dizzy.” Fao mumbled, and managed to sit back in his chair before his legs gave out.
"What else?" He asked, grabbing the monitors.
He was still struggling to breathe, his chest tight and painful, his heart pounding. “Hurts.”
"Your chest?"
“Mm. Can’t breathe…”
"Right, okay. You’re gonna be okay, yeah? I'll get these checks done and we'll see where we're at."
He nodded. “Too… too fast.”
"I know. We'll get it sorted, yeah?"
“Really dizzy.”
"Lean back as much as you can."
Fao did as he was told, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. It sort of helped to stop the room from spinning, but he desperately wanted to lay down.
"Was Steve around?"
“Don’t know.” Fao managed.
"Okay. Okay, sure."
“Finn.” He whined, feeling worse.
"What?" He was completely out of his depth, and Fao was only making it worse.
“Really don’t feel well.”
"Yeah, I know. I'm trying, Fao." He whined, reaching for his phone to call Steve. "How long has this been going on? Can you get on the bed? You're gonna hate me."
Finn’s questions were too much and Fao whined. He could probably get on the bed, though. “Yeah, bed.” He mumbled. He just about managed to get there, with Finn’s help, and it felt much better than his chair. Didn’t feel like he was about to hit the floor.
Finn moved to hold Fao's hand. "We've got two choices. Your heart isn't working like it should. We can either give you drugs that'll stop your heart and hopefully put it back to normal, or I can sedate and shock you. Neither is nice and I don't want to do it."
Fao frowned. “What’s wrong wit’ it?”
Finn sighed, his voice wavering slightly. "I probably fucked it up when I fixed you up and now you've got fast AF and you're gonna hate me."
Well, that wasn’t good. “Not your fault.” He mumbled.
"It was."
Fao didn’t have the energy to argue with Finn. He felt hazy, the dizziness wasn’t stopping, and he was struggling to catch his breath. Everything was too much, too fast, and Finn didn’t seem to be helping.
"Fao?"
FInn’s voice dragged him back to the present. “Mm?”
"You can hate me and all that later, when you're better. But you're gonna feel like shit in a second, and I'm sorry." He rushed, pushing his drugs. "I love you, I'm sorry."
The drugs really did make him feel like shit, and Fao groaned. He hated it, Finn was supposed to be helping, not making him feel worse.
"I'm sorry, you're gonna be okay, I promise. Just relax, you're gonna be okay." He murmured, silently placing the pads on. "You're gonna be okay."
Steve finally appeared in the basement, frowning at the sight. “Finn? What’s going on?”
The drugs had given Fao a split second of relief before the pounding of his heart was back. He whimpered, feeling again on the verge passing out, darkness tinging his vision.
"I can't do this. He needs cardioverting. You're gonna have to do it."
The best part about the Daniels family life was the family dinners. Of course, Fao was lucky to have such a welcoming family who were able to overlook the differences of the past, but it was made so much better by the support he got from them. He was able to pursue his career, alongside the other, less illegal parts of the business.
But the dinners, especially the big sunday roasts, really were the best part of it. Often Fao mucked in with Fred to get it done, laughing and joking and listening to the radio as they cooked.
More often than not Steve joined them too, the spare room full of his clothes and things. He was a part of the family, and Fao was grateful for every opportunity he'd given him. He was like another father to both of the boys.
This Sunday, the rain was lashing against the windows and the whole family piled around the table, Jess and Ely too, with Arrow at Fao's side, his head in his lap. There was wine, and Sheila scolding Finn for stealing off of Fao's plate.
Steve always enjoyed the family get togethers, feeling like he had a family once more. He'd woken up with a migraine that morning, his old injury playing havoc.
Despite Fred and Fao's cooking, he picked at his food. Every sip he took set him off coughing, and every bite was even worse. He didn't miss the concerned glances, waving off their comments. He didn't need their help.
Fao really was worried about Steve. Something wasn’t right, but it was of course unlike Steve to actually say if anything was wrong. He shared a look with Finn, who seemed equally concerned.
He managed to wait until they'd finished eating before he got up, and moved to pull Steve aside.
“Look, I know you said everything is fine, but something is clearly wrong. What's going on? You barely managed to eat anything tonight.” Fao said, voice low.
He shot Fao a look. "I'm fine."
“Have you actually even managed anything to drink all day?”
"I said I'm fine, Fao."
“I’m worried about you.” Fao said softly.
"Go worry about Finn. I saw him stick a knife in the toaster this morning."
“I'm always worried about Finn, don't change the subject. Look, if you can't manage to drink, I'll grab you some fluids and you can take them with you to bed, no fuss.”
"I don't need fluids." He grumbled, pushing past Fao. "I'm fine."
“Steve!”
"Piss off!"
Fao rolled his eyes, and followed him. “Please don't just ignore whatever is going on. Let me help.”
"I'm not ignoring it, I'm ignoring you."
“By ignoring me you're ignoring it!”
"No, I'm not ignoring it." He turned to face Fao. "Please, just leave it."
“If the roles were reversed, you wouldn't leave me alone.” Fao pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm sorting it myself."
“Let me help.”
He gritted his teeth. "If I need help, I'll ask."
“Sure, this family is really great at asking for help when we need it.”
"Your family is."
“As if you're not just as much a part of this family as I am.”
"Sure. I'm going to bed."
Fao sighed, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Fine. You know where I am if you need me.”
"Thank you. Goodnight." He turned away, steadying himself briefly on the wall before walking off.
Fao made a noise as Steve seemed to wobble, but didn't say anything. He wasn't going to get into a real argument.
Free from the stares from the Daniels, he retired to his room. He knew he should ask for help, knew it wouldn't really get better, but he was stubborn. He just needed a few days to rest.
Fao made a mental note to check on Steve when he went to bed, but once he'd walked away, he headed back to the rest of the family. They'd settled in the living room, Arrow stretched out at Finn's feet.
Steve couldn't sleep. He was just uncomfortable, his head pounding.
When Fao went to bed, a lot later than Steve had done, he softly knocked on the door to his room.
“Steve? I know you told me to fuck off, but I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
He groaned. "Go away."
“Can I get you anything?”
"No."
“Can I come in?”
He softened. "If you must."
Fao pushed the door open, shutting it quietly behind him, and crossed to perch on the edge of the bed. “What's going on, Steve?”
"Nothing new."
“New to me, hmm?” Fao said quietly. “What's wrong? I've never seen you like this.”
"I got discharged from the army, Fao. A long time ago now. Head injury, left me with some shit." He admitted quietly.
“Oh.” Fao mumbled. “But now you're struggling, and you won't let me help?”
"I don't need help."
“Could've fooled me.” Fao paused, and then sighed. “Look, you don't have to go into detail. I know you only keep a basic medical file downstairs for a reason, unlike the rest of us. Just tell me what you need and I'll do it, you don't have to explain yourself.”
"I don't need anything."
“Not even something to help you sleep? You've been up here hours, it's nearly 1.”
"I couldn't swallow it."
“We’ve got benzos…” Fao shook his head. “Not a good idea. Do you want the dog?”
"Is that your solution to everything?" He managed a smile. "Benzos and dogs?"
“It usually fixes Finn?” He supplied awkwardly. “I'm serious, though.”
"I'm fine."
“You've just told me you wouldn't be able to swallow meds, Steve.”
"I just need some sleep."
“Well, you know where I am, yeah?”
"Yeah. Thanks."
Fao sighed and left the room, careful to close the door quietly. What Steve said was playing on his mind, but he knew he couldn’t change his stubbornness. He’d reach out for help when he had no other options, Fao knew that. But obviously this was fairly serious, which didn’t reassure him that walking away was the best choice. But he settled in bed with Ely, and tried to get some rest.
Steve tossed and turned, unable to settle. He felt shit; he hadn't eaten in a few days, and his headache wasn't being helped by his inability to drink. With a heavy sigh, he sat, rubbing his face. He didn't fancy the treatment, but he knew he had to do something. Fao didn't need to be involved though, he could do it himself and get out before anyone saw him.
He groaned as he stood, steadying himself against his bed as he shoved his feet in his slippers. Quietly, he headed down to the basement, closing the doors as gently as he could. He grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen on his way, rummaging in the drawers to find a straw.
Of course, it didn't take much to wake Fao up. Steve's door shutting, and the sound of him going down the stairs was enough. He could tell from the way he walked it was none of the Daniels. He listened for a bit longer, and could hear him digging in the kitchen drawers. With a frown, he stood up, mumbled to Ely he was going to see if Steve was okay, and then slipped out of the room and downstairs.
“Steve?”
"'Course it's you." He said, voice rough. "I'm just getting a drink."
“You know I'm a light sleeper.”
"I know."
Fao leaned against the counter. “So, need any help?
Or are you gonna try and do something stupid by yourself?”
"It wasn't going to be stupid."
“Yeah?” Fao asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
He hesitated. "Just shoving a tube down my nose."
“Because that's not stupid at all.” Fao scoffed. “Look, let me. We can place it without hassle, I'll run some fluids to give you a boost. No fuss, and you can go back to bed and get the sleep you look like you need.”
"You've done it with Finn lots, haven't you?"
“Yeah. Finn, but also work, too.”
"Work is different." He said, looking Fao up and down. "You have others there. Here, you're alone."
“Steve, it's fine. Could do it with my eyes closed. If you want someone else there, I can wake Ely?”
He shook his head. "I don't need everyone knowing about it."
“Okay. Just the two of us, then.”
"If you must help." He sighed, glass in hand. "Better get it done now."
“Still got that headache? I can get you some painkillers too.”
"It's just been a while with eating and drinking." He admitted slowly. "It should be fine."
“Fluids and some nutrition, then.” Fao said, softening. “What's going to be most comfortable for you? Midaz to take the edge off?”
"I don't want to be a pain."
“You won’t be. Whatever you're comfortable with. I can’t imagine it would be pleasant to have it done with no sedation, but it’s your personal choice.”
"If you give me anything, I'm not staying down there."
“Well, you’ll have to stay until you can walk upstairs, but I won’t force you to stay down here all night.”
Steve nodded. "Okay. Fine. Let's get this over with then, eh?"
“With the caveat, of course, that you stay down if there’s any complications.”
"There won't be. I trust you'd be able to manage them before they became a problem."
“Of course. But full disclosure before you kick my ass and all. Let me grab a hoodie and I’ll meet you down there - I don’t want to freeze.”
Steve nodded. "Not a problem. I'll get stuff sorted."
“Or you could just sit and rest?”
"It's fine."
“That’s what I always say.” Fao pointed out. “Either way, I won't be long.” He quickly headed back upstairs, threw on a hoodie, and then made his way down to the basement, rolling his sleeves up. In his head, he ran through medication doses, and what he'd need to do. He'd done it loads to Finn, it would be fine.
Steve hadn't settled while Fao was gone, choosing instead to set up. He'd kept his equipment away from the rest of Finn's stuff, and Finn had never really questioned it. The medications would have to be from their supply, and he'd need to source more, but that was something he could work on during the rest of the week.
He startled at Fao, unlike him, but not paying enough attention to his surroundings.
“Sorry.” Fao said softly. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He crossed the room, stopping to throw his hair up into a messy bun. Steve clearly already had stuff laid out, and Fao moved to stand in front of him. “Mind if I check it through?”
"I'd rather you did."
“Okay, good.” Fao said, busying himself with looking through it. “You've been through this a few times before, then?”
"Too many times."
“Same flare as always, nothing out of the ordinary that should have me worried?”
"It's never been anything to worry work about."
“Just checking, you know I have to.” Once Fao was happy with what Steve had set up, he laid it all out the way he liked, and triple checked the meds. Then he turned away to wash his hands and pull on some gloves. “Cannula first. Have you got a best spot to stick?”
"Anywhere, I'm not like you."
“Even dehydrated?”
"Even dehydrated." He confirmed. "Just stab me wherever."
Fao hummed. “Okay, let’s see what we can find.”
"Have at it." Steve muttered, hopping up onto the bed.
With a nod, Fao grabbed the tourniquet and fussed to find the best vein. He really didn't want to fumble and stab Steve more than was needed. He found a decent one - Steve was right, it wasn't much of a problem, and once he'd cleaned it, he looked up at his mentor quickly. “Sharp scratch, yeah?”
Steve nodded. "You're the doctor here, be confident in what you're doing."
Fao nodded. “I am confident. Just don't want to surprise you.”
"It's fine."
After a deep breath, Fao got the cannula in and flushed it. “That feel alright?”
"Yeah, it's fine."
“Perfect.” Fao murmured. “I’ll start with the fluids.”
"I appreciate it, Fao. It's not how you expected to spend your evening, I'll bet."
Fao shrugged. “Makes a change from Finn in status.” He said, fussing over the dressing on the cannula and then turning away to hang the fluids.
"I suppose it does. I'm surprised he's not up, though I guess having Ely in your bed stops the puppy dog act he's got going on."
“He’d sleep through a hurricane, you know that.” Fao pointed out, triple checking the fluids before he started them running. “That should help the headache. Do you want to try without, or get it done easier and just start with the midaz? You know what you can tolerate more than I do.”
"I've not had to do it in a long time." He said softly. "We'll give it a go, see if it works."
“Alright. You can tap out whenever you need, yeah? Just tap me on the arm. Or swear at me, whatever.”
"Yeah, sounds good." He muttered, setting his shoulders. "Swearing's definitely the way to go."
“You know the drill, can just slap me about if you need.” He said. “Sit back and get comfortable?”
He did as he was told, gripping his cup tightly. "You know what you're doing, right?"
“I know what I'm doing.” Fao reassured. “And I'll go as slow as you need.”
"Righ, okay. Let's just get it done with."
“I've got you.” Fao told him firmly, squeezing his shoulder. “I promise.”
He took a deep breath, his facade starting to crack. "Yeah. I trust you. Just do it and then it's over."
Fao nodded. “I'm glad you trust me. I've got some local spray, yeah? We can do that and then I'll measure everything, let it work.”
"Yep." He said shortly, his foot tapping on the floor. "Just do it."
“Steve? Breathe for me?”
"I am."
“Deep breath, proper breath.”
He did as he was told, giving a short huff. "Better?"
“That’s not a proper breath. From the diaphragm.”
"Jesus, Fao. Just get it done."
Fao raised an eyebrow. “It’s gonna be harder if you’re tense.”
"It's going to be harder if you don't do it."
“I know, I know.” Fao soothed. He knew Steve wasn’t necessarily going to settle any more, so went ahead with the local spray and carefully measured out the tube. He noted where it would need to be, and hummed to himself. “Alright, I’ll get started now. Tap out if you need.”
Steve set his jaw, giving Fao a slight nod. The sooner it was done, the better.
With the tube prepped, Fao moved to stand in front of Steve and gently started to insert the tube. He chewed his lip as he focused, slowly easing it down.
He tried his best, tried to breathe through it, but he couldn't. He jerked back from Fao, pushing the other man's hands away instinctively. He retched a few times before sitting back up.
"Well, that didn't work."
“It’s alright, shit happens.” Fao said gently, stepping back. “We’ll try the midaz, yeah?”
"I should be able to do it."
“It’s shit, and you’re stressy and tense. It’d make me gag too.”
"Just try again."
“Are you sure?”
"Yes, just give it a go."
“Alright. Same as before, just tell me or push me away if you can’t cope, yeah?”
He shot Fao a look. He was talking too much, they weren't getting anywhere with it.
“Finn gives me that exact same look, y’know?” Fao said, gathering the kit and starting again. He tried to move a little faster this time, to get the worst bit out of the way.
"Yeah? Wonder why."
“Alright, try and breathe through this best you can, I know it's uncomfortable.” Fao said gently, slowly advancing the tube. “That's it, you're doing well.”
Steve did his best again, almost managing it before pulling back with a retch. His hands shook as he pushed Fao away again, panic rising and breaking through.
“Alright, okay.” Fao soothed, reaching out to hand Steve a tissue. “Take some deep breaths, it's okay.”
He coughed again, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "Yeah, sorry."
“Don't be sorry, it's okay.” Fao replied. “Take a minute, yeah, focus on your breathing, and I'll sort some midaz.”
"I should have been able to do it."
“I couldn't do it with no sedation, I'm awful. It's okay.”
Steve didn't look at Fao, choosing instead to stare at the floor. They didn't have any other choice but to continue with it, for him to have the midaz to sort it out. He gave a heavy sigh as Fao started sorting the drugs, trying to make himself comfortable.
“What was it you said to me the last time you reset my shoulder?” Fao said, trying to lighten the tone. “Something about being so tense I pushed the limit on how much sedation you gave me without being worried you were going to kill me?”
"Yeah, something like that." He agreed, distracted.
“It's hard when you're tense. And it's only natural to be tense.” Fao said, voice measured. “The midaz will help. Are you comfortable?” He said, turning back to Steve.
He shuffled slightly. "Yeah, go ahead."
“Alright, we're gonna go nice and slow. Start with a small dose and build up. I'll be right here the whole time, so shout if there's anything that you need.” Fao said gently, taking his hand and giving the first, small dose. “It'll make you feel dizzy and spaced, just keep breathing, try and relax. I've got you.”
He appreciated Fao's bedside manner, though the situation was less than ideal. With a shaky breath, he forced himself to relax, resting his head against the bed.
"I hate midaz."
“Yeah, I know. Focus on the deep breaths, they'll help.”
"I am."
“Good. This'll help you get some rest, at any rate eh?”
"Yeah, one positive."
Fao squeezed his hand. “Back in bed before you know it.” He said, moving to sit next to Steve instead of standing. The midaz would need time to work, and he was giving it slowly anyway.
"I'm not staying down here." He told Fao again, his feet starting to tap again. "I'll get this done and then bed."
“Yeah, you’ll go right up to bed as soon as you can.” Fao told him. “Promise. Keep up with those deep breaths, nice and relaxed.”
"I'm trying."
“I know. You’re doing great.”
Steve rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
“Hey, hey. I’m serious.”
"Yeah."
“How are you feeling now?”
"The same."
“Okay, we’ll try a touch more.” Fao said, carefully giving another dose. He wasn’t surprised it was taking a lot - Steve was very stressed, and probably fighting it a little. He gave it slowly, measured and careful.
"You seem nervous."
Fao shook his head. “Just being careful.”
"Sure, sure."
“You’d kill me if I got my doses wrong.”
"I'd be dead if you did."
“Exactly.” Fao muttered.
"You've done it with Finn."
“Different.” Fao said, sitting back. “Let that work, now.”
"I'm trying."
“I know. Just relax, close your eyes if it helps.”
He shot Fao a look. "I'm trying to relax."
Fao nodded. “I know. It makes you feel a bit shit, I get it. Not pleasant.”
"Not at all."
“Think of it as a couple of strong drinks after a long day with Finn.”
"Need more than a couple."
“Well, I’m not one to advocate for alcoholism, but I’m sure midaz is stronger than a couple of drinks. The whole bottle, if you’re that way inclined.”
"You've lived with Finn long enough."
“Yeah. How are we doing now? Feeling more relaxed?”
"A little." He thought about it. "Not much."
“Okay, it's good we're getting there. We'll try a touch more, hmm?”
He nodded. "Sure."
Fao reached out and gave some more, aware he was reaching the limit of where he was comfortable. It wasn't bad, per se, but he didn't like doing it alone.
Steve hummed, gritting his teeth. That bit of midaz had definitely done the trick. He squeezed his eyes shut as the dizziness hit him, trying to block it out.
Fao rubbed his arm. “That's it. Breathe through it, nice and slowly. You're okay, I've got you.”
He cracked an eye open. "Had the the full bottle now."
“I'll bet. What's the tipple, eh?”
"Depends who I'm dealing with." He joked.
“Yeah?”
"One of you two, straight for the tequila. The others, we can work up to it."
“Oh, I see how it is.” Fao said with a laugh. “I won't take it personally.”
"You're always in scrapes."
“Yeah, we are.” Fao agreed. “Do you think we can give this a go in a minute? Now we’re feeling more relaxed?”
He raised an eyebrow before sighing. "Yeah."
“We’ll give it a minute or so more, let that midaz have its full effect.” Fao said gently.
"I'm sorry we couldn't do it."
“It’s okay. Now you get the high. Makes a change from you having to give it.”
"'s true." He said carefully.
“Yeah. You nice and comfy now?”
"Yeah."
“Alright. You keep breathing, I’m gonna try again, alright?”
He nodded. "Yeah, okay."
Fao checked everything over again, made sure he was comfortable with his measurements, and then stood to start again, easing the tube in. “That’s it, I know it’s uncomfortable. Keep breathing, we’ll get there.”
Steve frowned, finally moving slightly, his hand batting at Fao weakly. He wasn't particularly accurate or effective, and he dropped his hand back to his stomach.
“I know, I know. It’s uncomfortable, but you’re doing so well.” Fao encouraged, changing the angle slightly to ease it down. “There we go, that’s it.”
He took a few heavy breaths, clumsily reaching for his cup. He knew he needed to drink to help it down, somewhere deep in his brain.
“That’s the worst bit now, there we go.” Fao said, pausing to pass Steve the cup. “Here, just a couple of little sips, take it slowly. There’s no rush.”
He did as he was told, taking a few moments. It wasn't too bad, though the drink made him cough again. He gagged as he tried again, spilling his drink.
“It’s alright, it’s okay.” Fao soothed. “Try swallowing without the water, don’t worry about that.”
"I gotta have it."
“It’s alright, can you try without for me? I know it's uncomfy.”
He nodded. Fao knew what he was doing.
“That's it, you're doing really well. We're nearly there now, almost done.”
He made a noise. It was harder than he'd like to admit to concentrate, his attention slipping.
“It’s okay, there you go. Nearly done, nearly done.” He soothed. “You’re doing so well.”
He cracked an eye open, looking at Fao. "Done?"
“Almost, not much more to go.” Fao said, checking his markings.
"Jus' tape it and move on." He murmured.
“We’ve got to get a little further Steve, I promise it’s not much more.” Fao said, advancing it just a little further, to meet his marking. “There we go. Just need to check it.”
He batted at Fao's hand. "It's fine."
“You know I need to check. It won’t take long.” Fao said, gently securing it. “That’s it, just relax again.”
"How much midaz?" He asked, before answering himself. "Too much midaz."
“Yeah, a fair bit. You're okay, though. Just sit back, I'm just gonna aspirate to check it, and then you can sleep.”
"'kay."
“Just relax for me, okay?” Fao said, turning away to get what he needed.
"I am."
“Yeah, good.” Fao murmured, taking the end of the tube and checking it before he attempted to aspirate. He carefully tested the pH, and was relieved to find it was correct for the placement. “That’s perfect, Steve, we’re all good. Just gotta finish everything up and then I’ll stop bothering you.”
He squinted at Fao. "Thank you."
“That’s okay.” Fao said gently. “Just gonna flush now, and I’ll get feed started for you.”
"Thanks." He smiled at him again, before grimacing. "Feels weird when you flush."
“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.” Fao murmured. “Let’s get this feed set up, then.” It was easy enough to get it set up, and Fao hummed to himself as he did. “I’m afraid it’s not quite up to my usual culinary standards, hm?”
"Mm? Oh, no."
“We’ll get you back on the good stuff in no time.” He reassured, checking things over and starting the feed. “There we go. All done. I’ll just go and grab you a blanket and that, you can get some rest.”
Fao had no intention of letting Steve go back to his room for a while, not with the amount of midaz he'd had. When he’d cleared everything up and was happy he wasn't going anywhere for a moment, he nipped upstairs. First he grabbed the blanket off of Steve's bed, and after a moment's thought, grabbed his his little Eeyore from his room. Ely stirred when he came in, and he soothed her with a kiss on the forehead and said he'd be staying in the basement with a patient for the rest of the night. She seemed happy enough with that, and rolled over into the middle of the bed, curled around Arrow.
Back in the basement, Fao draped the soft blanket over Steve, fussing with the sheets to keep him comfortable. He tucked the Eeyore up against him, and then gently reached out to brush some of his hair from his face.
“There you go. Get some rest now, Steve. It's all done.”
He hummed happily, more asleep than not. "Thanks Bel."
Fao smiled sadly, ignoring the way his throat tightened. He might not have known about Steve's injury, but he knew roughly why he was with Fred's men.
“I've got you.” Fao soothed. “It’s gonna be okay.”
"She was his wife, Bella." Finn said softly, crossing the room, odd socks on his feet. "It's why he uses it, the belladonna. A little bit of a fuck you to the people that did it."
He settled in one of the chairs, his knees tucked to his chest. "At least he won't remember this. I never do."
Fao looked over at his brother. “Finn.” He breathed. “He's okay. He… He never said he was sick.”
"An old army injury, all I know."
“Yeah, all I got too. He's sorted now, at least.” Fao said, fussing with the blanket and sitting down. “I had to give a lot of midaz.”
"He's a lot of person."
“Yeah, that's true. He was worried.” Fao murmured. “What brings you down?”
"Was having a piss, heard you come downstairs."
Fao snorted. “Charming.” He murmured. “You know, he was wanting to put his own tube in.”
"Sounds like him."
“It’s done now at least.”
“Yeah, I’ve only seen him with it once before. And to be honest, I thought I was making it up.”
“I’m so on the back foot, I had no idea.” Fao murmured.
“He keeps himself to himself.”
“Yeah. Makes it so hard to treat him.”
“He doesn’t normally need to get treatment.”
“No, but times like these… I feel completely in the dark.”
“You got enough to treat him though, that’s all you need.”
“Well, not really. His medical file is basically redacted.”
"Most of his life is." Finn shrugged. "Perks of writing it himself."
“Yeah. I just wish he trusted us enough to be honest.”
"I don't think it's us that's the issue."
“I know. I just… still feel like he doesn’t trust us?”
"He let you stick the tube down his nose, didn't he?"
“Well, yeah, eventually.”
"Is that not enough?"
“I'm just being stupid.” Fao muttered. “Ignore me.”
"Take it you're staying down here?"
“Yeah, need to keep an eye on him.” Fao said. “I promised I'd be there for him.”
Finn shifted on the chair. "Why don't you get a few hours? I'll watch him for a bit."
“No, it's okay.” He murmured. “I'd rather be here for him.”
"You need your rest too."
“I'll be alright.”
"Have an hour? I'll wake you."
“I'll just catnap here.”
"Alright."
Fao shuffled in his seat, stretching out a little.
"You know he'd tell you to get some proper rest."
“I slept earlier.”
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
“It’s fine.”
"Please, Fao."
“I'd really rather not leave him, Finn.”
"I'm gonna be here. Just crash in the room for a little." He pushed gently. "Hell, go lie in one of the other bays."
“‘m just fine here.” Fao replied, closing his eyes.
"Alright, alright."
Despite how worried he was about Steve, Fao managed to drift off, sat in the chair by his bed. He was only lightly asleep, his head resting on the back of the chair.
Finn wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin on them with a sigh. He'd watch Steve for Fao, make sure the older man was okay. He owed it to both of them.
Fao stirred after a while, and reached out carefully to take a set of obs from Steve. He was sure the older man was fine, but he had to check.
"He's okay." Finn said from his chair, his voice rough.
“I know.” Fao murmured, turning to write his obs down.
“Go back to sleep then.”
“Give me a second.”
“I’ve been watching him. He’s alright.”
“I know, but I need to do obs anyway.”
“Will you go to bed after?”
“Not until he's in bed upstairs.”
Finn sighed heavily. “Sure.”
“You'd be the exact same.”
“I would have let you do the hard work.”
Fao snorted. “Sure.”
“You know I would have.”
“I guess.”
"Go lie down for a bit."
“I don't need to.”
Finn rubbed his eyes with a groan. "You're so stubborn."
“I know.”
"Just accept the help."
“I don’t need to sleep.”
"It's the middle of the night, of course you need to sleep."
“I’ve done more on less.”
He made a frustrated noise. "I'm just trying to help!"
“I know, I know. But I'm alright, I swear.”
"Alright."
“I just want to be there for him, like he is for us.”
"Why you gave him your eeyore?"
“Yeah.”
"You're daft."
“He'd have gone and got Eeyore for me.”
"Eeyore's yours though."
“I give him to you often enough.”
"Basically mine."
“I wouldn't go that far.”
Finn laughed. "I was getting worried there."
“He's definitely still mine.”
"What are you going to do when you have kids? And they want him?"
“Might not have kids.”
“Maybe not.”
“Who knows.”
"Plenty of time."
“Could always adopt.”
“Do you really think we’ll pass their checks?”
“Do you really think you’d have to?”
“Well, guess not.”
"A bonus."
“Is it fair to adopt a kid into this life, though?”
Finn looked up. "I was adopted."
“Yeah, but… You’re still related to Fred.”
"We weren't involved."
Fao was quiet for a moment. “I guess it’s different when it’s family, though. Like even if you hadn’t have been adopted, there’s a chance you’d have ended up involved anyway.”
"I'd rather be adopted by one of us than kept in a shitty household."
“Yeah, I guess.”
"Like if you had to choose, Tomas without his crime bit, or dad with? It's not really a comparison."
“Of course. I'd just feel bad at taking a kid with no relation to any of this and asking them to do what we do, y'know?”
"There's plenty of us needing care that are already involved in this."
“Oh, I didn't really think of that.”
"Especially in some of this work. Their parents don't last long."
“Yeah. That's sad.”
Finn sighed. "Yeah."
“God knows what we'll do. Not even spoken about it.”
"Plenty of time."
“Yeah.”
"If you're not going to accept help, can I get you a tea or anything?"
“Tea sounds good.”
"Biscuits?"
“If there’s some about.”
"I'll see what I can find." He said softly, standing up. "I know we've got some chocolate too, if dad hasn't eaten it all."
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Finn shot him a smile before heading off in search of biscuits and tea. If Fao wasn't going to take his offer of help, he could at least force some food and drink on him.
Fao shifted to tuck his legs up to his chest and settle in the chair again, aiming to get some more sleep in before Steve woke.
Finn didn’t take too long, finding Fred’s ‘secret’ stash of chocolate in the cupboard. For being a master at hiding others, he was rather shit at hiding his chocolate. Finn hopped onto the counter as he waited for the kettle to boil.
Fao sighed, struggling to settle. He just wanted this over, he was worried about Steve. Obviously he’d done the hard part. But somehow this was harder. There was nothing he could do, he just had to sit and wait. And that was hard.
As much as Finn wanted to stay with Fao, he knew his brother wasn’t going to give in. He left the mug by him, giving his brother a half hug before he headed back upstairs. Fao would call him if he needed him, but Steve just needed to sleep it off.
Fao was grateful for the mug of tea that Finn left with him. He wrapped his hands around it and sipped slowly as he let Steve rest. Every so often, he gently took obs, making sure everything was fine. He was desperate for more sleep, but he couldn’t let himself sleep until he was sure Steve was over the worst of it.
Steve woke after a little while again, squinting at the eldest Daniels brother. “What’re you still doing up?”
Fao lifted his head, neck stiff from where he'd dozed off. “‘m lookin’ after you.”
"You were meant to let me go to bed." He grumbled half-heartedly.
“You were out of it.”
“You look like shit.”
“You don’t look so hot yourself.”
“You’re meant to be nice to me.” Steve groaned. “I’m always nice to the two of you.”
“Nah, you’re mean to me.” Fao said, moving to sit forwards. “How do you feel?”
“My throat hurts, but it’s nothing new.”
“You want some water?”
“Just need to get over it.”
“It’ll get better, but water might help?”
He shook his head. “No, thanks.”
“Alright. Anything else I can get for you?”
“Get yourself off to bed.”
“You reckon you can stand? We’ll get you off to bed too.”
“How much did you give me in the end?”
“Uh, about 5mg.”
“Oh, a lot.”
“Yeah. Hence why I’ve been sat with you.”
"Yeah. Appreciate it."
“It's nothing.”
"Still."
“Gotta look after you.” Fao said, adjusting the blanket over Steve. “You deserve it.”
"Nah."
“Yeah. Always do the same for me.”
“I appreciate it.” Steve sighed. “Why don’t you go to bed?”
“I wanted to be here when you woke up.”
"Means a lot. You can go to bed though."
“I know you wanted to be in your own bed too.”
"I'm okay here."
Fao stood stiffly. “Alright. I'm around if you need, yeah? And we can go back up to yours whenever you feel up to it.” Fao said, adjusting the little Eeyore he'd tucked into Steve's bed.
Steve gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Fao."
“I'll only be next door.” He said, and adjusted the blankets one last time before he left his mentor be. He settled on the bed in the little side room, and pretty much passed out.
Steve wasn't far behind Fao, hugging the little eeyore to his chest. It meant a lot to him, that Fao had left him his stuffed toy. He snuggled further under the blankets and drifted off again.
Steve finally appeared in the basement, frowning at the sight. “Finn? What’s going on?”
The drugs had given Fao a split second of relief before the pounding of his heart was back. He whimpered, feeling again on the verge passing out, darkness tinging his vision.
"I can't do this. He needs cardioverting. You're gonna have to do it."
“Hang on, slow down. Talk me through what’s going on.” He said, moving to check the monitoring.
"Just look at it." Finn grumbled. "I've sedated a bit, given some pain relief, but you need to do it."
“Have you given adenosine?” Steve asked, keen to coach Finn through it rather than just completely take over.
"I've only done dc cardioversion before. There's so many risks with adenosine…" He looked to Steve, so overwhelmed.
“Okay, but it’s risk management, yeah?”
"It's Fao, Steve. I can't do this."
“Of course you can.” Steve told him.
"Steve, I can't."
“Yes you can. Come on, we’ll do it together.”
"Please."
“Take a moment, go and sort the drugs out.”
He gave a heavy breath. "Okay. Are…are we doing adenosine?"
“Yeah, we’re going to need to.”
"I can sort it."
“Thank you, Finn.”
"Is he gonna be okay?"
“Of course he is.” Steve busied himself doing his own checks whilst Finn sorted the meds. Fao was still struggling, in and out a little not just because of the sedation. It was hard to concentrate on anything, as much as he tried to listen to what they were saying. He couldn’t remember Steve arriving. Had he been there the whole time?
"I've got the adenosine."
“Perfect. Do you know what you’re doing with it?”
"Giving it to you." He tried.
“Or you could just give it.”
"Steve."
“Come on, give it. You know what you’re doing, we don’t have time to waste.”
He did as he was told, his hands shaking and his own chest tight. Resentment only grew as Steve continued to push him, unable to separate work from family.
“Good. Now we just have to watch and wait, keep an eye on that monitoring.”
The sedation Finn gave had been enough to keep Fao hazy, but not completely out of it. As the drugs went in he whined, feeling the effect of it. It was awful, the overwhelming sense that he was going to die. It felt like he was dying too, as it suddenly became more difficult to breathe.
"You're okay, you're okay." Finn moved to hold Fao's hand, stroking through his hair. "It won't take long."
He gripped Finn’s hand, panic in his eyes. It felt wrong.
"It's gonna make you feel shit for a bit. You're okay."
He wasn’t okay, he was the opposite of okay, and nobody was helping. He struggled against the blackness at the edge of his vision, terrified if he gave into it he wasn’t going to wake up again.
Finn’s eyes didn't move from the monitors, watching the rhythms carefully. There was a pause, snd Finn’s own heart almost stopped. Sure enough though, it kicked back in, and straight back into the tachycardia.
Steve swore from the end of the bed. "Finn, we need another dose."
Once the feeling like he was going to die had passed, there was a moment where things eased for Fao and he felt like he could breathe. But nearly as soon as it had happened, it was gone, and he groaned, gripping Finn’s hand desperately.
"We need to go elsewhere." Finn's voice wavered. "They can do more."
Steve shook his head. “We don’t have time, Finn, and we’ve done too much already.”
"Then you do something! It's not working!"
“Finn, breathe.”
"I'm trying but nothing is working and you're not helping!"
“We just have to follow the protocol, another dose and see how that goes.” Steve told him gently. “This is all they’d do in ED.”
