Chapters: 14/?
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sharon Carter (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Post-Movie: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), Canon Divergence - Post-Movie: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), Post-Movie: The Avengers (2012), Canon Divergence - Post-Movie: The Avengers (2012), Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Made Up Science, Bucky Barnes Doesn't Remember Steve Rogers, A bit Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Angst, POV Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers trying to find his place in this new world, But he just wants his Bucky, Moral Dilemmas, Steve’s questionable decisions
Steve Rogers was found in the ice. Now he's navigating the 21st century, being back in Brooklyn, being part of the Avengers, trying to find his place in this strange new world. Then one day, in his local bodega, everything gets a whole lot stranger.
The voice hits his ears. Steve’s eyes snap up in shock. And then the world stops turning.
Bucky. Bucky is there. Bucky is there, in front of him, on the other side of the counter, looking at him. Bucky—his best friend, who fell from that train, who died right in front of him—is standing there, looking at him.
Steve frowns in confusion at the sudden change. “Bu-James, what are you—?”
Bucky waves a hand in the air, still chuckling to himself, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before back at Steve. “Nothing, it’s just…you just told me I’m like a hundred years old and basically a serial murderer and the thing I’m worrying about is that my boyfriend has just been pretending to like me!” He keeps laughing, but it sounds terrible now. There’s nothing funny about it.
Steve stands up, wanting to reach for Bucky, but he backs away the minute Steve tries. He tries not to feel that rejection like a knife to the gut. “You’re not a serial murderer. You were a prisoner of war who was brainwashed into committing awful crimes for the most vile people on Earth. But it wasn’t you. You need to remember that.” His hands ache to hold Bucky.
Bucky’s laughter stops. He stares at Steve now, expression unreadable.
“And the other thing…” Steve continues softly. “There was no pretending. Not after you kissed me,” he admits. “I started questioning everything after that. And I mean what I said,” he adds softly, eyes begging Bucky to see it. “I fell in love with you. That wasn't pretend.”
Bucky stares at him, the most heartbreaking expression on his face. Then he lets out a little breath that sounds like defeat. “You know that can’t matter now, right?” he finally says, voice soft. Softer than Steve deserves.
Steve does know. He knew the moment this all unravelled. It can’t be put back together again, he’s hurt Bucky too much. “I know,” he says simply, as though it isn’t killing him. To know the man he loves, loved him too—now, and then—and in one fell swoop, all that got destroyed, and it was his fault.
Bucky looks broken too and that hurts Steve even more. Because he can see this isn’t easy for Bucky.
“I-I think it’s time I left,” Bucky says softly, looking down, licking his lips, blinking.
The last part of Steve dissolves into nothingness. “Okay.” He won’t argue it.
Beloved friend, your health and well-being are paramount! I will stay subscribed and share every chapter as you’re able to post them. I care the world for you, and as always, ALL of your works are worth waiting for. Take care, dear @deadto27! ♥♥♥
