I realize I should probably clarify? I don't mean that Stiles doesn't get help when he asks, just that the help doesn't work out. We talk about characters not learning from mistakes, but sometimes they are learning, its just not a positive lesson.
Oh, I agree with that. Character growth doesn’t have to be growth in a positive direction. In fact, literature is full of characters who are made worse by their experiences, such as in the novels Lolita, The Metamorphosis, Heart of Darkness, and The Awakening. And if Stiles had been shown to spiral into some dark place where he became a sullen, bitter paranoid, that would have been dark, but it would have been growth. (There are some excellent fanfictions which approach this idea.) What the show did, unfortunately, is always pull back from this. Stiles suffered anguish and pain from what happened to him and from his bad decisions, but he was always perfectly recovered by the end of the season. (This is a television thing. What can you do?)
My problem is that the way he was written and acted, he always started the seasons as if nothing had changed since he overheard his father talking about a body cut in half in the woods. He was still sarcastic asshole with boundary issues, as if he hadn’t been possessed. Take the beginning of Season 6, “Memory Lost.” He recognizes that he uses Lydia as some sort of ‘supernatural metal detector’ but it doesn’t bother him in the slightest. He’s still self-centeredly pissed off that they won’t cater to his need to make something a supernatural mystery. (And before you say “He was right!” how many of the multiple times per week in the last three months was he ‘not right.’)
Positive growth would have been: “Lydia, thanks for coming. I understand that my concerns are difficult for you” (only done in less stilted language – script writer i am not.) Negative growth would have been a screaming fit where he accuses her of not caring that people die. Instead, we get a sarcastic “Let’s be real, it’s way more than that.” It’s Wolf Moon all over again.
The only growth we see is from the rest of the pack, who understand that this is what Stiles needs to feel secure. Lydia simply walks away; Malia imitates her; Scott tries to talk him through the evidence.