The longest tales are always worth hearing
As I’ve discussed before, your elders have experienced a lot more life than you have. That may sound like common sense, but consider it for a second:
Your elders weren’t always elderly; they were kids that fell and got up again. They were teenagers that fell in love and had their hearts broken. They were twenty-somethings who are just as uncertain of their futures as you are. They became parents. They became grandparents. They became so many different people for so many different reasons that we can’t even begin to imagine.
But if we listen to their stories, we don’t have to imagine.
My Mum, Dad, Sister and Me refer to our Great Aunt Betty as “Bouncing Betty”, owed to her youthful energy and humour about life itself. Never getting bogged down about the “what ifs” and forever living in the moment. Always a pleasure to spend an afternoon with, musing on the absurdities and confusion of the everyday.
Betty lost her long fight with dementia a couple of weeks ago.
To prepare for the funeral, I’m captioning a photo album that goes back to a time when my parents (let alone me and my sister) were never even thought of. It’s at times like this when you truly appreciate what photographs are - a window into the past. A long-forgotten memory for some, or a picture that writes a story for others.
And I never asked Betty about her story.
I see her as a girl, a teenager, a twenty-something. I see her at birthdays, weddings and get-togethers with friends. But what ties all of these moments together? How did our “Bouncing Betty” come to be the wise old soul that I knew?
I never thought to ask her, and now that moment has passed. Aside from the stories told by others, Great Aunt Betty will only ever be my memories and these photographs.
So, if you have a senior who is near and dear to you, ask them to regale you with their story. As I mentioned, they’ve seen a lot more life than you have, and they’ll give you something that no other kind of tale will: Perspective. On how they grew up, and how they dealt with the pressures of adulthood, parenthood, war, poverty, careers, retirement, and everything in between.
Who they were, what changed them, what weakened them or made them stronger. You owe it to yourself, to prepare for the life ahead of you. And you owe it to your memory of them, so that you can look back and truly appreciate their story. So ask, and they would love to tell you, because the longest tales are always worth hearing.
