Alabaster pauses. "Did you like being in the Fulcrum so much?"
The question startles her, and angers her further. "I could at least be myself there. I didnt have to hide what I am."
He nods slowly, something in his expression telling her that he understands all too well what she's feeling. "And what are you when you're there?"
"Fuck. You." She's too angry, all of a sudden, to know why she's angry...
[...]
"...Sorry," he says. He genuinely sounds it, so she doesnt storm off right then. "I was just trying to make a point."
He's made it. Not that she hadn't known it before: that she is a slave, that all roggas are slaves, that the security and sense of self-worth the Fulcrum offers is wrapped in the chain of her right to live, and even the right to control her own body. Its one thing to know this, to admit it to herself, but its the sort of truth that none of them use against each other--not even to make a point--because doing so is cruel and unnecessary.
This is why she hates Alabaster: not because he is more powerful, not even because he is crazy, but because he refuses to allow her any of the polite fictions and unspoken truths that have kept her comfortable, and safe, for years."
-- N.K. Jemisin, The Fifth Season
